This book was not a good match for me and it is entirely my fault. I love the Normal Gossip podcast so when I saw the host had a book coming out with a gossipy title - I made up for myself that it would be like the podcast but in print. I got in bed with the book ready to read some great gossip stories and moments of “what would you do?” and laugh myself to sleep. However that’s not what the book is about and not what the book claims to be about - it is just what I made up. This book is a study of gossip and what purpose it serves and how it’s more nuanced than just fun or bad. Lots of interesting information there but a big disconnect from what I expected so it wasn’t working for me. Thank you to the publisher for the free ebook and audiobook to review.

This non-fiction book is one part memoir, one part pop culture references of the past decade, and one part gossip through history. There were some highs and lows, and it was a quick read.

Each chapter has a different theme, and some chapters I felt were much stronger than others. The memoir parts were most compelling to me because Kelsey's voice and opinion shine through with some interesting points. The pop culture references and anecdotes I fear will be a little dated five years from now (e.g. West Elm Caleb), and I just don't know enough of Kelsey's favorite reality TV (e.g. The Bachelorette, The Traitors, Survivor, and Real Housewives) to appreciate those references. The history portion I think is the weakest because it's overly quote heavy and feels more like a paper for school than Kelsey's take or a new perspective. It also didn't feel like there was a strong thread to tie together all of the chapters; I could definitely have read these chapters out of order with minimal difference.

For full transparency, I listened to and liked the first few seasons of Normal Gossip, so Kelsey Mckinney's voice felt familiar and endearing from the first page. I think actually the audiobook narrated by Kelsey will be the optimal experience for this book, because I could guess which words Kelsey would stress or how she'd land lines but it would have been more fun to hear as told by her. If you enjoy Kelsey's podcast, I think you'll be entertained and enjoy learning more about Kelsey, but you shouldn't expect juicy gossip or a controversial take on gossip.

Thank you, Grand Central Publishing, for an advanced reader copy!

You Didn't Hear This From Me is a thought-provoking collection of essays on gossip. There's no ultimate judgement on whether it's good or bad, worthwhile or destructive--it all depends on the context! If you're a Normal Gossip fan looking for more juicy stories, you won't really find them here. Rather, this book will have you examining your own relationship with gossip, eavesdropping, reality tv, celebrity culture...

Hell yess! Normal Gossip is my all-time favorite podcast and while I was sad to see Kelsey sign off as the host, this book more than makes up for it. (For now). The history of how gossip came to be is fascinating and she writes it in a way that doesn’t feel like a textbook. The pop culture references and personal stories are perfect tie ins to helping the reader connect the dots. Read it!

"You Didn't Hear This From Me" feels like reading a super long college essay whose thesis is “gossip is good, actually“

Kelsey McKinney's full length book about gossip was a fun, engaging and thoughtful read. I most appreciated her discussion of the role of gossip in human culture and identity as well as the evolutionary advantages of the practice. When she delved into current examinations of gossip she referred quite a bit to pop media and reality TV. I understood why she chose these sources as they are widely known and therefore weren't divulging any intimate secrets but I don't personally have any interest in that world so those sections fell flat for me. A valid question would be whether this book illuminated new understandings. I would say it does to some extent. Fans of the podcast would certainly enjoy this book, as would reality TV lovers. Anyone who felt maligned in social circles due to their interest in the stories of those around them could feel reassured that this is all part of community bonding as long as certain privacy lines are respected of course.

A properly kaleidoscopic view on the best subject of all: gossip. I relished the chance to think so deeply about something so many people think is trivial. The book has a great blend of research and voice-y prose, which kept it from skewing too dry or too frivolous. I knocked it a star because I've read enough pop science/pop social science books that a lot of the research was familiar to me, so it wasn't truly revelatory. Still a very fun book!

3.75 stars. I enjoy the podcast Normal Gossip so was interested to check out the host’s book. This was interesting and I was not bored, but it also felt a bit like a padded out essay that was turned into a book. I’m sure this is an exaggeration but it felt like upwards of 25% was quoted material from other sources. I get that gossip can sometimes be good and sometimes be bad. Would have loved a bit more of the fun vibes the podcast has.

Thank you to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for providing me with an advance reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review.

Publishes February 11, 2025.

I love the podcast "Normal Gossip" which was previously hosted by the author of this book, Kelsey McKinney. In the podcast, she presents anonymous gossip stories that are full of fun & plot twists.

This book focused on the topic of gossip and was a well-researched non-fiction book about why gossip is essential to our society in many different forms.

There were several things that I enjoyed about the book to include how thought provoking and nuanced it was about the topic of gossip. One of my favorite chapters was on evangelical Christianity and its relationship with gossip which did make me think about the topic within the context of my faith.

There were some aspect that were more challenging for me about the book too - sometimes I felt the topics were less what I would personally classify as "gossip" and more about story-telling. It felt like English may have limitations on it's definitions around different ways we communicate about each other. I also am a mood reader and think I was expecting the book to be a written version of her podcast - light & funny. While there were moments of this, it was mainly a well-informed and research-based read. Overall, it's a worthwhile read if you want to consider the nuances of gossip and pop culture.

I love gossip and I think Kelsey is an incredible story teller so i went into this with high expectations. I really enjoyed a lot of the chapters but felt some some of them could have relied less on quotes and could have been edited down. The final chapter was fantastic and ended the book on a strong note. Overall would recommend, this was a fun read

Overview: Kelsey McKinney takes a deep dive into gossip through a series of essays in a spinoff of her podcast, Normal Gossip. On the podcast, McKinney and her co-host delve into stories from strangers, perfect bits of juicy gossip, and in this series of essay, McKinney breaks down different types of gossip and gossip adjacent constructs (urban legends, parasocialism, conspiracy theories, anonymous gossip, why Chat GPT can't gossip, etc) in these well researched, thoughtful essays that infuse her personal experiences as a lifelong gossip and internet resident with scientific literature, literature-literature, and pieces of the art world. Overall: 4.5

Notes: I'm going to be totally honest and say that while this was an early "most anticipated" of 2025 for me, I had no clue that Kelsey McKinney had a podcast. I was scrolling through Twitter last year, saw one of her tweets either announcing or promoting preorders or something like that and thought, "A book about gossip? Yes please." So I went to NetGalley and long story short, I've now read the book. While McKinney's podcast does lend some anecdotes to the book, what better facilitates these essays is that McKinney is extremely well versed in pop culture, the internet, and literature. She pulls together a truly interesting and diverse pool of sources that she uses to make her points from novels to memoirs to scientific studies to examples pulled from movies. Having such a gem-filled treasure chest of a library of knowledge to work with makes the essays feel more unique, surprising, and delightful than they might have been from someone whose work was singularly focused on the more scientific angle of the subject.

These books about big topics usually go one of two ways. They either try to put the story of the topic in some narrative stricture, create a sequential order of things, or they jump right into essays that allow the author to delve into the most interesting sub-segments to them in more depth. This book goes for the essay style which makes it easy to digest and pick up for an essay or two. It's very approachable, and McKinney does a great job of creating a conversational tone that still feels rich and thoughtful. The book actually made me want to listen to the podcast. While I didn't learn a ton I didn't already know (I wasn't expecting to, I love this topic and those adjacent to it and have done a lot of reading on the subject), it felt like getting to discuss the subjects of the essay with a very thoughtful, intelligent friend, which is always exciting.

I think the book truly had me hooked when McKinney mentioned her attendance at the famous Lorde concert where Jack Antonoff came out and performed, stoking already ardent rumors that they were having an affair. While she didn't mention the truly wild powerpoint outlining why one fan thought this was true (she took the story in a different, interesting direction), that was the moment where I felt like this book was truly on my wavelength.
Review on blog forthcoming closer to release date.

The first essay opens with McKinney outlining what gossip is and how it fits within the larger lineage of storytelling by detailing her failed experiment to try to get Chat GPT to gossip with her. While I loathe any use of the pathetic chat robot, I thought that she made fantastic points that illuminated why Chat GPT is horrible at writing, be it stories or essays. She makes a fantastic argument against the chatbots that everyone should have to read. The next essay discusses the relationship between religion and gossip and the harms that come from gossip being cast as never acceptable. This is largely through the lens of her experience growing up in a megachurch, though the essay does ultimately reach beyond that.

The next series of essays center around popular media. She uses Mean Girls and the differences between the book, the original movie, and the remake to talk about protective gossip and the way that (largely women) use gossip to protect themselves and others from dangerous people. The essay on Anonymous gossip might be my favorite as it pulls together so many cultural touchpoints that I love. It centrally revolves around Gossip Girl and why the original show worked when the remake didn't, but within that, she discusses Refinery 29's Money Diaries series, Elena Ferrante's anonymity (which I didn't realize that was a pen name!), and, of course, Deuxmoi and blind items. This weaves together in such a satisfying way, and as someone who's not above glancing through subreddits gossiping about influencers and celebrities, this was a lot of fun.

Other essays in the collection tackle topics like parasocial relationships and the ways that fans will both start and ignore rumors to protect their conception of the celebrity they think they know. It was a take on the topic that I hadn't seen articulated before and was quite interesting. This is where the Lorde story I mentioned earlier comes in. Doxxing comes up and, of course, West Elm Caleb, and makes a point about how the ways we use social media only helps the creation of a surveillance state. Reality TV can't be left out as its a format entirely powered by gossip. Urban legends and their more sinister sibling, conspiracy theories comes up. I was a bit disappointed to see that my two favorite urban legends born of celebrity gossip (that Paul Mescal ends hook ups by taking his date to the park, pointing out a bird, and then hightailing it away the next morning and that Timothy Chalamet gave everyone at NYU chlamydia) do not make an appearance. Finally, McKinney chronicles how gossip often becomes compressed into history if it's about the right people at the right time and pays homage to the glories of eavesdropping.

Clearly, this book had me hooked, and it does a great job of exploring the topic in a fresh way with great modern, topical references. Even if you think you don't care about gossip, this is a great book for anyone who loves the internet (or loved what it was until recently). I highly recommend this to fans of Amanda Montell's books as well.

I was extremely excited to receive this ARC because Normal Gossip is my absolute favorite podcast. Unfortunately, what I consider to be the hallmarks of the show— tightly paced narrative, surprising insight, and madcap human— were all missing, I found the essays to be wandering and bland. The two most personal (gossip + evangelical Christianity and gossip +the Me Too movement) were by far the strongest even though the subject matter was the most serious. All in all I will continue to recommend the podcast, but would give the book a pass.

I wasn’t familiar with Kelsey McKinney or her podcast before picking up You Didn’t Hear This From Me, but I ended up really enjoying it. The book takes a fascinating look at gossip—how it weaves through our lives and culture, shaping the way we inform, learn, protect, and even deceive.

As I read, I started noticing real-life examples of how gossip plays a role in our daily interactions. McKinney challenges the idea that gossip is purely negative, offering a nuanced perspective on its power and complexity. She made me rethink how we communicate and the ways gossip can foster connection as much as it can cause harm.

This was an engaging and thought-provoking read, and I appreciated the fresh perspective it gave me. Whether you’re new to McKinney or a longtime fan, this book is definitely worth checking out. A solid 4 stars!

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for my free review copy.

Thank you for the opportunity to read this early copy - I love Kelsey's voice and it was strong throughout, a great reading experience. It's a wonderful companion to the hours I've spent with her podcasts and other writing, and I loved the balance between explanation without justification - it's not a guilty pleasure, it's an important communication. A wonderful read, and a distinct authorial tone - loved it!

Gossip is so often thought of as something superficial and extraneous and it was fun to read about its utility to society (in addition to its drawbacks)! This was interesting and thought-provoking and more academic in parts than I was expecting. Recommended to anyone who delights in gossip or is just curious to learn more about the way it shapes our relationships and communities.

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

I really enjoyed this one--did you ever realize how our concept of "gossip" is gendered? Women gossip. Men...discuss?

Gossip isn't frivolous--it's useful. Without gossip, marginalized people have less of a voice. Corrupt individuals and organizations stay in power.

This really made me see its utility in a whole different way.

A revolutionary book about gossip. I appreciate all of the different perspectives and angles on the topic. They really helped me understand my own relationship with gossip, and will shape my decisions around the subject moving forward.

This book was a very interesting perspective on the topic of “gossip” and how it weaves its way through life and culture. As I read the book I became aware of real time examples in my own life, of the way humans use gossip all the time to inform, learn, protect, and deceive. It isn’t always a bad thing, and I think this book helped me take a closer look at the way we communicate.

*A sincere thank you to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for providing the advance copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.*

Though not a listener of McKinney's podcast (Normal Gossip), I, like many, have always had a 'guilty pleasure' approach to gossip. Growing up I was told, and believed, that gossip was bad because it was only used to hurt others. Yet YOU DIDN'T HEAR THIS FROM ME managed to break through that long held belief and remind me that not all gossip is bad, and not all gossip is good - in truth, gossip is simply information, it's what you do with it that matters.

Through this collection of essays I really began to think about my relationship with gossip, why I sometimes do it, why I sometimes crave it, and why the world is so against it. I particularly liked the bit that focused on gossip as a tool women use to protect themselves, be it in relationships, in workplaces, or just in moments of everyday life. This book is clearly well researched, with McKinney citing a wealth of resources to back up her own words, and I think it ultimately does a wonderful job of highlighting the fact that gossip is more complex than most people believe. Would absolutely recommend!

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This was a thought-provoking book of essays centered on the topic of gossip. Kelsey McKinney offers original and well-researched perspectives on a variety of subjects, from Mean Girls to religion to parasocial relationships to Britney Spears to the limits of human senses and the slippery nature of truth.
I appreciated that McKinney establishes gossip as a vital human behavior and acknowledges early on that the demonization of gossip is a feminist issue. She really effectively uses those lenses in most of the essays. I found that the essays at the beginning of the book tended to be stronger and toward the end they were a little more speculative.
Her tone is rather conversational which helps keep the content accessible and fun, but I found myself getting a little impatient with it sometimes. I think some of the essays would probably have been more engaging and clear to listen to than read, because of inflection or pacing, (which was not entirely unexpected from a podcaster).
I’ve already recommended it to several friends for when it’s released, and I’ve added a couple of the books McKinney references to my TBR. Overall an enjoyable, enlightening read and a fun and worthwhile contribution to the conversation around human communication.