This book is a great example as to why we need more diversity in books! I loved seeing an adoptee try to get back to their roots in a world that has left them unmoored. To learn this was inspired by the author's own experience made it that much more important.

Catie's parents divorced when she was a child and her father has since passed away. Her stepmom, and adopted mother, moves them out to Utah after losing her job and their apartment. With all this change, Catie is curious about opening the door to her past - except, what if there are no more doors available to her?

I found Catie's experience and narrative so enlightening and eye-opening. She delves into her feelings of belonging with her family, but still wanting to be grounded by her roots. I liked her venture into relearning Mandarin, talks of PTSD around learning English as a child, and her feelings around religion and both her blood and adopted families. This book found many ways to show how one might be able to get plugged back into their roots - through language, through family, and even through genealogy reports at a Mormon church. I loved that it was not just a fictional love story, but also a bit of a manual for those who might be in the same position as the author and Catie were.

Toby is such a sweet summer child, and I adored his kind heart and enthusiasm. I loved his character and appreciated the ways him and Catie fit together as they became friends. Her felt very real and multifaceted and I appreciated learning from him too.

I feel like Catie's relationship with everyone other than Toby was a little bit sparse, and though I loved how her sister and cousin really for her, I feel like we never got to know them that well, which felt like a missed opportunity to dig into some of the other things the book touched on.

All in all, this book was a deep dive into the world and feelings of an adoptee and I loved learning with Catie throughout the story. Her voice felt so real, and young, and I wonder if there's space to see more about her in the future, just saying!

TW: micro-aggressions, religious bigotry, religious trauma, grief; mentions death of a parent, death of a sibling, homophobia, lesbophobia

Plot: 5/5
Characters: 4/5
World Building: 5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Pacing: 4/5
Overall: 4.5/5

Finished copy gifted via Colored Pages Book Tours by Penguin Teen in exchange for an honest review.

This is such a beautiful and heartfelt story about a girl struggling with her identity, her culture & her first language. It is such an empowering journey of her finding out about her biological mother’s life & family, rediscovering and relearning her first language (Mandarin) & learning to fit in with people who look like her.

I loveeeee Toby. I love how he accepted Catie, how he taught her Mandarin, how she was able to just be herself around him (of course I was rooting for them the entire book!!)

This is such an amazing book and I’m so happy I had the opportunity to read it! I really enjoyed it & though I’m not Taiwanese, there were a lot of parts I really related to as a POC.

“Do you ever miss something you’ve never had?”

Some books cross your path when you most need them. First Love Language” was one of these for me. I don’t think I can find something I didn’t like in this book.
The writing is smooth, delicate, graceful. It kindled some images in my mind that reminded me of Sophia Coppola’s Virgin Suicides adaptation (even though the story isn’t as tragic, at all). I loved Catie’s journey to (re)discover her identity, while helping herself to grief, how she needs that but is also full of guilt (regarding her adoptive mother), and regrets (regarding her dad she won’t ever be able to talk to again). Even though my own personal situation is closer to her sister’s, Catie’s questioning echoed a lot in me. I wish I had her courage and determination. I sobbed, shed more tears that I can count –or admit. I admire this character who keeps going, despite her feelings of emptiness, her doubts, her apprehensions. How Catie (re)learn her mother language and how it makes her memories resurface and brings her the first threads of her identity were particularly beautiful moments in the book, as much as was her relationship with Toby.
The way the LGBT+ relationships are pictured in that very conservative community, and how these teens create their very own circle, were also some highlights of the book.
I honestly can’t put into words how much this story impacted me, created all kinds of feelings in me. I’m not a teen anymore (it’s been a long time), but once again I’ve read a YA book I wish I'd read in highschool.

Thank you ColoredPages, PenguinTeen and Stephany Valentine for the eARC. My opinions are my own.

Rating: 4.25 stars

I am kicking myself that it took me so long to read this story, because it was such a beautiful, heartfelt debut novel.

First Love Language isn’t just a contemporary YA romance. It is a story about a Taiwanese adoptee who is reconnecting with her heritage, and falling in love again with the culture and language that connects her to her biological mother. I loved how the author wrote our main character, Catie’s experience. The desire of wanting to find and learn more about her biological mother, but also not wanting to hurt her adoptive mother, was written in a way that was very thoughtful, realistic, and relatable. I really enjoyed this storyline and the relationship she has with her adoptive mother. However, I did wish we could have learned a little bit more about Catie’s childhood in Taiwan. I also really love the LGBTQ+ representation, and the community that was formed to make a safe environment for certain characters to explore their sexuality and embrace their identity. As for the romance, I really enjoyed the growth of Catie and Toby’s relationship from friendship to something more. I loved how they learned from each other and shared personal stories. However, I did feel the conflict was resolved a little too quickly, considering what happened after Toby found out the truth. Although I love a happy ending, I just wanted a little bit more substance from the resolution.

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. Highly recommend if you are looking for an inspirational and heartwarming read.

Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Group/Penguin Young Readers Group for giving me the opportunity to read this ARC. All opinions are my own.

First Love Language is a sweet love story. But it's not just about a romance. It's also about a young girl learning more about herself, her deceased father, and what she wants out of life.

Taiwanese American Catie Carlson has never felt like she fit in with her white family. Her father passed away and she now lives with her stepmother and stepsister. She has never known her Taiwanese mother. Catie longs to learn about her Taiwanese heritage and culture and the chance comes when her new co-worker offers to teach her Mandarin. In exchange, she needs to teach him how to date so he can finally work up the courage to ask out his crush. The only problem is that Catie doesn’t actually have any dating experience. But she can fake it. Using her father's old copy of The Five Love Languages, Catie takes Toby on practice dates, coaching him all along the way. But the more time Catie spends with Toby, and the more she learns about her biological mother from her dad's notes in the book, the more she realizes love isn't as black and white as she thought.

This was a fantastic book. Stefany Valentine paints us a beautiful picture of what it means to feel like you don't belong, what love really is, and how we can all learn to feel accepted and fit in. The characters are very strong and have great character arcs. The story is relatable and believable.

thank you so much to colored pages blog tours and penguin teen for the free copy! all opinions are my own!

i don't know even how to start because i wasn't expecting this at all. the adoptee situation and how hard it can be for some people, the complicated sister relationship, grief of losing someone you never knew, the pressure religion can put on someone, wanting to reconnect with a past that you didn't knew it existed... it was too much but at the same time it was handled so amazingly i have to hug this book and the author. even she explained it in her letter at the end of the book, which made me appreciate it even more. the side characters were super cool and i love how the diversity was included little by little, something that can even happen in real life. the MC was so beatiful and cute and adorable i want him to teach me Mandarin, too.
tbh it was such a good book and a really solid debut. even tho it was such a short book, it didn't feel like one and i enjoyed it from start to finish (insert many heart emojis here)

4 stars. Valentine wrote something really unique with First Love Language. I've never read a YA book that truly encapsulates (I imagine) what it must be like to be 1) adopted and 2) longing to reconnect with your birth culture. But Valentine really nailed those feelings. And amongst all of the struggle to fit in, she also delivered a tremendously sweet romance. Basically, Catie meets Toby when she applies for a job at his parents' salon. Catie is trying to reconnect with her birth culture, and Toby happens to speak Mandarin. The thing is, Toby is is terrible at interacting with girls, and for some reason, things Catie has a boyfriend-- making her a love expert. They decide to exchange language lessons for love lessons. The only problem.... Catie's not really an expert in love either. I loved everything about this book, except for the miscommunication. That's by far, my least favorite trope, and I always get frustrated the longer the miscommunication (whether it be accidental, or purposeful) goes on. And while I did find that annoying in First Love Language, I also understood it. Because I could totally understand how a 17 year old girl could accidentally end up in over their head, and struggle to find the right solution. So although it was frustrating, it also made things feel authentic. If you're into sweet YA romances about first love that deal with deep and important topics, then I absolutely recommend First Love Language. I think Valentine truly accomplished everything she set out to with this one.

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Valentine and Penguin Teen for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

First Love Language by Stefany Valentine introduces readers to Catie Carlson, who is a Taiwanese American navigating moving to a new city, starting a new job, and reconnecting with her Taiwanese heritage. Oh, and she's pretending to be a love coach to the guy she ends up crushing on. What could go wrong? Playing off of the "five love languages," Valentine crafts a book about first loves and belonging.

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for sharing this book with me.

Catie is an adopted Taiwanese girl who is searching to reconnect with her own culture but being moved into a Mormon household and trying to help her new coworker learn how to woo his crush while also falling for him (and lying about having a boyfriend) is definitely going to turn her life upside down. Catie Carlson was adopted by her white stepmom and both after her father's death she's been trying to learn more about her own Taiwanese mother who left her. Catie wants to find her biological mom and discover more about her own culture, but it's a bit hard to do when her stepmom has moved her and her stepsister into their aunt's very Mormon household. Catie gets a new job at a spa where she meets her very cute coworker, Toby. Toby offers to teach Catie Mandarin and in exchange she can teach him how to date so he can finally ask his crush out (only because he mistakenly thought she has a boyfriend). Catie wants to learn Mandarin and she doesn't know the first thing about dating since she's single herself... but she's desperate and if using her father's copy of The Five Love Languages filled with his own notes, she can definitely pull off this lie. But the closer she gets to Toby the more she's beginning to fall for him... and the harder it gets to try and tell him the truth. As she gets used to her new house and further along with her search for her own culture, Catie begins to learn more about her own family and what it means to be a transracial adoptee. This was a sweet story about finding your place and chasing your heart. Catie is desperate to find herself and understand her own culture while trying to find acceptance in her family. Being bi-racial and trying to fit in with a completely different group of people can be difficult. Catie yearns for acceptance and love and as she grows and opens herself up, she discovers her own strength and community. It's a touching coming of age story with a soft romance at the center of it.

Release Date: January 14,2025

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group | Penguin Workshop for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

After reading a dark dystopian and a horror, this story is exactly what I needed in my life.

This light, sweet ya romance was much more than just a romance. We followed Catie as she went on a journey to find out more about her true self. With Caitie looking for her biological family, learning a language to connect with her culture, working at the salon and teaching Toby about the 5 love languages so he can ask his crush out, theres just enough going on throughout the story to keep you continuously hanging on for more. I loved her super supportive family, and I loved the lgbtq+ representation.

If you are looking for a sweet light read with minimal drama and conflict but a plethora of life lessons and cute, slightly awkward moments, this one is for you.

What a beautiful cover!! Those colors are gorgeous.

This is such an absolutely incredible and beautiful read - the love story is absolutely heartfelt. I love the representation in this book and how it teaches you to really embrace your cultural heritage. I was completely just in love with the refreshing content and the love story? So precious!

I loved the focus on love languages and the originality of using those languages to "teach" Toby how to date! I also loved the language learning and just the overall story. I also absolutely loved the side characters dearly as they added so much more to this beautiful story. This would be an absolutely perfect book for a teen to read, with friends for discussion purposes!

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group for this e-arc in exchange for my honest thoughts.

Catie, who was born in Taiwan to a Taiwanese mom and Mormon dad, temporarily leaves California for Utah the summer before her senior year in high school with her adopted mom and sister. In Utah, they move in with Mormon relatives and look for jobs. Catie ends up working at a hair salon where she becomes friends with the owners' Korean-Chinese-Black son who goes to college in Taiwan. Although there is a lot going on in this book (probably too much), this is a teen romance that had me cheering for all the characters in the book. Teens who want a mostly happy read that still tackles important issues should like this one.

Thank you to Penguin Group Penguin Young Readers for providing this ARC for an honest review via netgalley.

This read was definitely not the writing style I normally choose but it still held my attention. The book contains a lot of personal and societal issues that some readers may be able to relate to. I’d recommend this read to someone who may be having difficulty with feelings of rejection, particularly by society (or even internal conflict). The story has a lot to do with finding ones’ self (self discovery) and learning how to be your authentic self. *Fake dating trope.

Stefany Valentine’s First Love Language is a YA romance fiction novel told from the perspective of Catie, an Asian American who goes on a journey to reconnect with her Taiwanese culture by learning her mother tongue, Mandarin. She goes on practice dates with her tutor, Toby, exchanging language lessons from him for teaching him how to communicate and win over his crush.

This novel is told from the first person perspective, and the Catie’s constant negative thoughts, fixation over micro-details, and little white lies are exhausting to read through - overall, not a likeable character to be following through the course of the story. It was also cringey that one of the catalysts for her learning Mandarin was discovering an old copy of her dad’s gift to her, Gary Chapman’s <i>The Five Love Languages</i>, which she brands as a feminist textbook - in actuality, I’ve also read this very real book and found the content to be pretty outdated and somewhat problematic. But I digress as this is a minor detail that seem relevant in the context of how she trades her love advice (despite barely having any romance experience herself!) for language lessons.

I also found the dialogue between the characters to be unrealistic and couldn’t stop thinking, “people don’t talk like this” while reading the book - and this is in terms of both cadence, vocab, and sentence structure, which is a little ironic considering the subject matter of the book.

I was hoping that I would be able to relate to this book because like the protagonist, I also grew up in a diverse, Asian/ASAM populated area and later moved to a city with less Asian Americans and also pursued learning my mother tongue as a result, similar to how the protagonist moved from San Diego to Utah. I’m also quite vested in learning about Taiwanese culture. I wish I liked this book more and ultimately I do think it is a win to have more Asian American representation in books and culture, even if I didn’t quite enjoy the book. The author is on the right track with the premise of this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin for providing an eARC for review.

This is a story about Catie, trying to find herself, her language, and also ends up finding love.

I will say, this book was good and it kinda had me hooked and wanting to come back for more. The only thing I’m hesitant about was maybe it wasn’t in the writing style I prefer. Nothing against this book, I think it was an important story to be told and I enjoyed it.

Thank you PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

This book gave me a complex of emotions. While I know not all Christians are like the ones portrayed in the book, I also know people have been through similar situations as Catie by so called Christians and that Mormon's are particular about their rules. So I felt this was pretty true to some peoples' experiences and shows that maybe we should all just be more accepting and more kind.
The MC also was going through identity issues and feeling accepted. Being part Taiwanese, but not growing up with any knowledge of her culture made her feel like she was Asain nor American. She felt like she was missing something by not knowing Chinese or anything about her mother's culture. She also wasn't sure why her mother didn't care to be a part of life. All that on top of losing her home and moving to a place that was less diverse than her Californian home.
She found friendship and acceptance with her coworker Toby. In exchange for Mandarin lessons, she promises to help him snag the girl he's crushing on. But as they grow close, she grows scared he'll figure out that she's not experienced in love and that maybe....maybe she doesn't want him with another girl.
Their relationship was so cute and I loved how Catie was around him, how she got closer to her cousin and mother and just grew to accept herself with also opening up to new experiences. Such a beautiful story of family, love, and both acceptance and self discovery. Overall enjoyed this one 😊

I enjoyed this book! It has a spin on fake dating, where the characters go on "dates" for one of the characters to teach one (Toby) about love in exchange for the other (Catie) to get lessons in Mandarin, her first language that she's lost over time. I think there's important family themes, and being your authentic self which are always important. I felt for the characters and their difficulties, and I thought the character growth was valuable and deserved.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin for the ARC!

Catie has always felt a bit displaced ever since her parents divorced and she went to America with her father. Now, her father has passed and it’s been two years since and Catie’s adoptive mom lost her job. Now, they have to move in with their preachy aunt in Utah and try to start over.

Catie and her sister Mavis are trying to find a job when Catie finds a salon that she feels like she would belong in. She gets the job and is excited about her new job when a boy hits on her and to get out of the flirting she says she has a “boyfriend”. Toby, who works at the salon, is with her and begs her to help him and be his dating coach so that he could ask out his crush Nichole and in return he’ll teach her Mandarin for free. Catie has wanted to learn her first language for so long that she agrees desperate to re-learn her first language and feel more connected with her biological mom and her Taiwanese roots.

This was a very sweet read. It’s not just a romance, but also about identification for Catie and her sister Mavis, and even their cousin Rayleigh. They each learn about themselves and change a lot in such a short time, and grow close together supporting each other.

I love books with sisters because I have a sister and feel like I always can relate to characters in books about sisters. I loved how their relationship grew in this book because their life and moving is not easy, but it helps them to grow close and learn more about each other and how to be there for each other. They also grow closer to their mom, which was really sweet.

The romance I think was a tad bit fast, but still very cute and sweet. I loved these two together with their “practice” dates. It was adorable and entertaining.

And then Catie learning about her roots and her family more was lovely after being so unsure for so long. I wish maybe we got more about her family, but I think this really just focused on Catie and her growth as a person, learning about herself and growing closer to her immediate family. Which made for the right amount in this story with her journey and growth, the family dynamics and relationships, and then the romance of course.

I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the gifted e-ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

4.5 stars.

First Love Language by Stefany Valentine is a delightful young adult romance.

Catie Carlson and her stepsister Mavis are not at all happy they are moving from San Diego to Utah. Catie is still trying to honor the promise she made to her dad before he passed away. Mavis is dreading living in her Later Day Saint aunt’s strict household which will force them into attending the LDS church. While hoping their move will be temporary, Catie and Mavis discover life in Utah is not all bad.

After losing her father, Catie longs to rekindle her relationship with her biological mom, Ya-Fang Linn. Her parents met and married in Taiwan, but Ya-Fang remained there after her divorce from Catie’s dad. Catie would like to know more about her maternal side of her family, but she is loathe to ask her stepmom for assistance. Catie's new job in Utah provides an unexpected opportunity to learn Mandarin in exchange for giving her co-worker Toby dating lessons.

First Love Language is a captivating young adult romance with socially relevant themes. Catie is a wonderful young woman who feels a loss of connection to her culture and extended family. Toby is a great young man who is patient and kind. Catie’s dating lessons incorporate the five love languages and their “practice” dates are so sweet. The LDS church’s stance on LGBTQ+ members of their community also plays an important role in a secondary storyline. Despite an inevitable conflict between Catie and Toby, Stefany Valentine brings this joyful young adult romance to an immensely satisfying conclusion.

I received a free eARC of this novel from the publisher in exchange for this honest review.

I really enjoyed First Love Language by Stefany Valentine. It was refreshing to read a YA contemporary romance that gives a first-person account of what it is like to be a biracially adopted child struggling to find your identity after losing touch with your culture from your birth country. Catie Carlson has lost her white dad from cancer and is faced with moving to Utah from San Diego the summer before her senior year with her stepmom, Andrea, and stepsister, Mavis. The upheaval brings to the fore the missed opportunities she had to question her dad before he died about why he and her Taiwanese birth mom divorced and why he brought Catie to the U.S. afterwards, causing her to lose touch with her birth mom. Not only that, but the move means living with her stepmom's very conservative Mormon sister and her family. But things begin to look up for Catie when she finds a summer job at a successful Korean spa and beauty salon. It seems that when Catie lies to a customer there about having a boyfriend to stop him from hitting on her, Catie's co-worker, Toby, concocts a plan to have Catie coach him on dating if he will help her re-learn Mandarin, Catie's original language. Using a book on Love Languages that her dad gave her before he died, Catie begins putting together a series of practice dates for her and Toby to go on. From there their friendship soon starts to blossom and Catie's quest of self-discovery on so many levels begins.

I loved so many things about this journey that we go on with Catie. At first, her pretending to be an expert on dating advice is amusing and begins a very sweet and tender friendship between her and Toby that eventually becomes a foray into first love. In relearning her first language, Catie also learns to open up to Toby about things she hasn't ever felt she could discuss with her adoptive family since losing her dad. Even before her dad got sick, Catie had trouble finding the courage to ask him so many of the questions about what happened between him and her birth mom, about why her birth mom agreed to give her up. We also see firsthand the racial bigotry and negative stereotyping that Catie has endured growing up in the U.S. that are sometimes intentional and sometimes not, but still annoying and painful. Other themes that are explored in this novel are ones about reconciling one's religious upbringing with one's own identity if you are not white or straight. In Catie's case, her dad and stepmom were both raised in the Mormon faith, but stepped back from the faith when Mavis, Catie's stepsister, identified as being pan sexual as a young teen. Being with Catie's aunt and uncle, who are both strict Mormons is a hard adjustment for both Catie and Mavis for different reasons and the author does not shy away from portraying how hurtful and confusing it can be to be told that God only accepts those who fit a very narrow and restrictive mold for Christianity. In the midst of being forced to attend church with her stepmom's family, in return for being able to move in with them, a door opens for Catie, though and she does find unexpected support and acceptance from a woman of the church who works in the genealogy office. There she helps Catie search for answers to what became of her birth mom and for how Catie can reconnect with her Taiwanese roots.

While this is at heart a YA romance, I think that the many themes explored in this book make it so much richer than that. It is also told in a very realistic and relatable way that I think many YA readers who might have similar things they are coming to terms with will find representative, whether it be searching for answers as an adopted child, dealing with cultural bias as an Asian American, or facing bigotry and intolerance for identifying as part of the LGBTQ+ community. In her author's note at the end Valentine admits that this book was loosely based on her own experiences as a biracial adoptee and that her hope is that anyone reading this book will feel seen in some way in it. If you love contemporary YA romance and can appreciate one that is quiet and sweet while also complex and heartfelt in terms of other things it explores, I highly recommend First Love Language.