The title of Rupert Everett’s story collection, “The American No,” derives from a practice employed by American movie studios, as the author describes in his one-page introduction to the collection. After listening to a would-be producer deliver their pitch, the studio heads will say something like: “Let’s do this. I’m psyched. We love you here at Bottomy Bay Productions.” Then they pat the producer on the back while exiting the studio… and the producer never hears from them again. That’s the American no. It’s an apt anecdote and an appropriate title for the collection, which reads like a series of Everett’s failed film pitches that deservedly produced American no’s from various studios.

Rupert Everett has been a familiar face and name for movie fans since his breakthrough role as Julia Roberts’ confidante in the smash 1997 comedy, “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” He has also written several novels and memoirs. However, although Everett has maintained a steady presence on stage and on the big and small screen for over 40 years, his appearances behind the camera, as writer or director, have been few and far between. That’s not for lack of trying, since Everett has been pitching various projects for years. His frustration seems to manifest itself in the “stories” in “The American No.” These works read more like screen treatments that received American no’s from studios than short stories. Two of them are near-novella length, and one is an actual screenplay. In his tales, Everett drops celebrity names of actors and directors, like Madonna and John Schlesinger. I had difficulty determining if some stories were intended as fiction or memoir-style recollections of failed efforts on Everett’s part. Regardless, most of the stories were overlong, self-indulgent, filled with jokes that didn’t work, silly, and in need of severe editing.

The best stories in “The American No” are the shortest. One bears the unfortunate title “A Short Film. ‘Sort Me Out Before We Go-Go.’” In a brief introduction, Everett explains the story originated as an idea he gave to a film school student for a ten-minute short. Not surprisingly, considering the general theme of this collection, the student rejected Everett’s idea. The actual story involves a possibly romantic encounter between a 40-something self-described Russian countess and a 20-something man. The pair sit at adjacent tables while enjoying an afternoon tea in a British tea room. It’s a five-minute read that would be an excellent short story if Everett had jettisoned the pointless introductory paragraph.

“The Wrong Box” involves a pitch that Everett delivered to director John Schlesinger, while the director was reading another one of Everett’s scripts that involved a funeral in Los Angeles. Sensing that he wasn’t getting anywhere with the written script in Schlesinger’s hands, Everett instead segued to a story about another funeral of an acquaintance he attended in Paris years earlier. Because they were on LSD at the time, Everett and his entourage somehow wound up at the funeral of a dead Vietnamese child instead. The story makes little sense and includes a good bit of back-and-forth dialogue between Everett and Schlesinger, but it is somewhat funny. (Again, I don’t know how autobiographical any of this material is.)

That’s the good news in “The American No.” One good story, one sort-of-funny story, and one sharp introduction totaling about 20 pages in a 320-page book. Several of the other stories have introductions in which Everett describes how he came to write them. Most of them have scattered instances of Everett’s wit. The stories all, to some extent, involve unsuccessful project pitches. Readers will easily see how none of them ever received an American yes from the studios.

One story, “The Morning After and the Night Before,” is a tale of the last days of Oscar Wilde. Everett has been associated with Wilde his entire career, having played the author on multiple occasions and having starred in several films based on Wilde’s works. According to Everett, the actor eventually wrote, directed, and starred in a movie entitled “The Happy Prince.” That film originated in Everett’s story, “The Morning After and the Night Before.” Everett’s movie was a flop, enlivened by his performance as Wilde. “The Morning After” didn’t have the benefit of the actor’s stage presence and was a confusing mess, especially for those unfamiliar with Wilde’s life story.

The last two “stories” in “The American No” (and I use that term very advisedly here) are the worst. They also take up half the book. “Ten-Pound Pom” is the only story that reads as pure fiction and not as something involved in a failed Everett film project. It’s the story of a young man named Tom whose family squandered its wealth and land holdings over half a century. After World War II, Tom takes his meager inheritance and buys a third-class ticket on a third-rate ocean liner going to Australia. (Australia was trying to recruit new immigrants from other parts of the Commonwealth then.) This voyage took place when ocean liners were a frequent mode of intercontinental transportation instead of merely a means of spending a vacation. The most interesting detail in the story was the description of Tom’s third-class cabin (four bunks on each side of the cabin, accommodating eight male passengers). Tom’s trip took six weeks; the story felt like it took six weeks to read. It’s dull, listless, and depressing, so much so that I hoped the ship would run into a storm or an iceberg to make the story more interesting.

At least “Ten Pound Pom” fits into the traditional story format. The last entry in Everett’s collection, “The End of Time,” is primarily a rejected script Everett wrote for a possible television broadcast. “The End of Time” refers to Marcel Proust’s massive seven-volume novel, “In Search of Lost Time.” Everett’s script is an adaptation of the novel’s first volume. After describing how he came to write the script, Everett presents it in screenplay format. It comprises 90 scenes of set direction and dialogue. The penultimate scene reads, in its entirety: “89. Passage Night. Jupien has been listening at the door. Now he bursts in.” Ninety scenes like that will tax the patience of most readers. I won’t get into a description of the literary merits (or the monotony level) of “In Search of Lost Time.” However, anyone who is at all familiar with the work will realize that a television version of it is doomed to fail. Everett’s screenplay quickly garners an American no. He also adds some bitter commentary in his introduction to the screenplay, bemoaning that he’s never had the opportunity to adapt Graham Greene’s “Travels with My Aunt.” (Everett conveniently ignores the excellent 1972 movie adaptation of Greene’s novel that earned Maggie Smith an Oscar nomination for playing the aunt.)

Everett’s final introduction to “The End of Time” encapsulates “The American No.” It’s not so much a collection of stories as a collection of grievances Everett has accumulated for his failed projects. It’s hard for readers to know where Everett’s real-life pitches end and the fictional stories begin. It’s much easier for readers to see why most of these projects failed as studio pitches or fictional stories. The book has only one story, “Sort Me Out,” that I thoroughly enjoyed, and even that one was marred by a needless introduction. Most of the rest were overlong, silly, unfunny, and poorly edited, with an overlying blanket of authorial frustration. My guess is that Everett wrote this book to fare better with a literary audience the second time around than he did with studio executives initially. However, it deserves a very vocal “no” from readers.

NOTE: The publisher graciously provided me with a copy of this book through NetGalley. However, the decision to review the book and the contents of this review are entirely my own.

Truthfully, I had no idea that Rupert Everett was an author; I mostly knew him as Julia Roberts' handsome, witty sidekick in "My Best Friend's Wedding." In this collection of short stories, the same charisma that let him light up the screen (and, frankly, steal the show) in "Wedding" shines through on the page. Everett runs the gamut here, from the absurd to the touching, sometimes all in the same short story. While some of the pieces run a little bit on the long-winded side, they are all still enjoyable, even when the undercurrent leans towards the tragic. I would be interested in adding some of his back catalog to my reading list; the dry wit, the command of language, is often reminiscent of Oscar Wilde, for whom Everett clearly has an affinity and much admiration.

In The American No by Rupert Everett, the short stories were a mixed bag. Some of the stories were not so short.. Mr Everett can turn a phrase. The novel consists of eight stories and sheds light on some that haven’t had their chance to shine just yet. In “The Wrong Box”, dropping acid/LSD before a funeral is more interesting than showing up late to a funeral. In “Sebastian Melmoth. The Morning After and The Night Before “ I learned about purple moments. Another favorite of mine was “Ten-Pound Pom”. ARC was provided by Atria Books via NetGalley. I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

The American No: Stories by Rupert Everett is a collection of eight short stories. At the beginning of the book, Everett defines what he means by the American No. You go into a pitch meeting and you are basically presenting your ideas for a show/movie/series, etc. In general, these ideas are met with encouragement and enthusiasm. We love this idea the studio says as they casually sling their arm across your shoulder and can't wait to work with you. Then you never hear from them again. That story or explanation is the most interesting thing about The American No. I do believe someone needs to define short for Mr. Everett, and the stories were just uninteresting to me. Also, it felt as if they were written to be vignettes for a film idea and just submitted as short stories. So, here I am, metaphorically putting my arm across your shoulders saying, I can't wait to work with you.

Thank you to #netgalley and Atria Books for my e-arc. I give this book 2.5 stars.

A mixed bag of stories from Rupert Everett, best known to Americans as the gay editor friend of Julia Robert's in My Best Friend's Wedding.

I know how deeply he love Oscar Wilde, as I've seen one of his many performance as dear old Wilde. Oscar's last night in Paris, as imagined by Everett, is the standout here. Others read like expanded spec scripts and others are just....unformed.

I think we could have just had a full book about Oscar Wilde and his influence in Everett's life and it would have been fine.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I find the actor Rupert Everett highly entertaining, and I am happy to say that I also find the author Rupert Everett highly entertaining.
The stories in his book are well written and it almost feels like he is reading to story to you. I absolutely enjoyed "The American No".

I am a big fan of Rupert Everett, and I enjoyed reading this book. I will guiltily admit that I could hear the narration in my head in his voice. I found the book to be well written, and I did enjoy it very much. I am hoping he will do more in the future. Thank you Net Galley ARC

This is a book of stories by the actor, Rupert Everett, and it "reads" (sounds in my head) just like he's sitting across the table talking to me. What fun! One suspects these are thinly disguised vignettes from his own life, but even if not, they are a quick, enjoyable read.