I've never watched the Bachelor, so I didn't know anything about Abigail Heringer before reading this memoir, but I really enjoyed this memoir!

Most memoirs I've read in this space have been from someone who identifies as Deaf, but Abigail's story was a good reminder how important representation is for those who are part of the lowercase "d" deaf community. In particular, Abigail's story about her experience with a Deaf ASL teacher was heartbreaking.

This book goes into some of the nuances of the differences between the d/Deaf community, but at a high level, how someone identifies tends to come with how they interact with the hearing world. Abigail has cochlear implants and speaks, so she identifies as lowercase "d" deaf.

As someone who's never watched the Bachelor but understands the concept, I found the chapters about her experience on the Bachelor fascinating! If you're only interested in this for the Bachelor behind-the-scenes tidbits, know that this memoir focuses more on Abigail's life and the Bachelor-specific chapters are a relatively small part of the book.

“I’m going to be reading your lips a lot tonight, because I’m deaf. But thankfully, you’ve got beautiful lips, so I can’t complain.” These first words of the first contestant on season 25 of The Bachelor not only made a rose-worthy first impression on Matt but made an unprecedented impression on the nation. There was something different about Abigail Heringer that set her apart from every woman who had ever been on The Bachelor: Abigail Heringer was the first deaf contestant on the Bachelor.

“I’d never seen someone like me on reality TV.” This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to fall in love while inviting the rest of the world to listen in on life with cochlear implants. “Even if it helps one family, it’s worth it.” But was the only reason she remained on the show to serve as a token of deaf representation. And when she arrived in Paradise, were the other contestants just chalking her up as the deaf girl?

Abigail’s story is not hers alone: The Deaf Girl is a tale of two sisters. Her sister Rachel could not hear, but she was also happy. Through Rachel’s example, Abigail discovered that those truths could coexist; but disability doesn’t follow patterns of expectations. Abigail distinguishes between the Deaf community, who use ASL to communicate with sign, and the deaf community, who use cochlear implants to communicate with speech. The Deaf community doesn’t consider hearing loss as a disability to be cured but a culture to identify with and a language to embrace. Abigail was living in limbo, straddling the world of the Deaf and the hearing belonging to neither.

Everyone has a place in the world; this was always meant to be hers. The Deaf Girl is the story of Abigail’s journey to embrace all facets of her identity. For years, she resisted the stigma of being labeled “the deaf girl,” fearing that it would overshadow her individuality and reduce her to a single aspect of her identity. But in this book, she flips the script and uses the label as her title. The Deaf Girl is a universal manifesto to own your identity and empower others to embrace their truth, to face adversity head on and carry on courageously whether in the halls of your high school or on national TV.

This was such an enjoyable book to listen to. Abigail did such an excellent job sharing her story with the world. It was so awesome getting to know more about her life and experiences being deaf and navigating her cochlear implant journey. I took 2 years of ASL in high school and my teacher was very similar to hers. He was Deaf and you could definitely get the sense of his distaste for those who chose to get a cochlear implant. It made me feel a lot of feelings for those like Abigail who aren’t totally accepted in the Deaf community or the hearing community, but following along her journey you can see how much self acceptance she has now. The book also reminded me to be comfortable in my own skin and that is the best way to find your people. I feel like the book was so informative and allowed for me to have deeper conversations with a young woman who works at my go-to lunch spot who has two cochlear implants. I was able to chat with her about how I never realized how hard it must be, and commended her for having two implants and how hard that adjustment must have been. She opened up to me about how she can hear any little sound that hearing people don’t notice such as a fan or other things, and how she misses a lot of conversations because of someone is standing in just the wrong place she had no clue they were having a full conversation with her, as well as all of the headaches that can happen when she wears them for too long and how she needs to take breaks. I just felt like this book opened up a lot of conversations we otherwise wouldn’t have had and I’m grateful for having my eyes opened so much because of this book! Abigail did such a great job narrating her book and I felt like a friend was telling me her story. It was fast paced and very fluid!
Thank you to RBmedia and NetGalley for this audiobook.

I have heard about Abigail's experience on the Batchelor so this was such a motivational and inspiring listen to learn more about her background and her journey.

I really enjoyed listening to Abigail talk about life and experiences as a hearing impaired person. I think her narrating her own book made it just that more impactful. I enjoyed watching her and Noah on Bachelor in Paradise and it was fun to listen to her talk about that and how they came back together. They sound like such a cute couple!

If you enjoy nonfiction, then I definitely recommend listening to this memoir! Abigail’s story is really thought provoking!

I was not familiar with Abigail Heringer prior to reading this book. I’ve never watched the Bachelor or Bachelor in Paradise. Despite this, Abigail’s story was an interesting and enjoyable read. It was great to learn about the deaf and Deaf communities, the difference in beliefs about the use of cochlear implants in those communities, and Abigail’s personal experiences navigating her life from early age through the Bachelor. Thank you for sharing your story Abigail and educating me on deafness!

Thank you to Sourcebooks, Abigail Heringer, and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I was a fan of Abigail from the Bachelor and was so excited to see an advance copy of her book, "The Deaf Girl." Abigail begins with her and her sister's childhoods navigating deafness. I really enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about her life and her disability. I truly learned so much about the challenges of communicating as a deaf person, her challenges with schooling related to it. I naively thought that a cochlear implant solved all problems and was very mistaken. I wasn't aware of the challenges it presented, as well as the controversy around cochlear implants in the deaf community. This book really opened my eyes up to the challenges that those with cochlear implants and hearing disabilities face every day.

I always found Abigail to be so sweet, and this book confirmed my feelings about her. I liked getting more background about her time on the Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise and meeting Noah.

Overall, this was a quick, fun listen that also educated me about the challenges of being deaf, even with a cochlear implant. I am a bigger fan of Abigail than ever - but think this is a great listen even if you aren't familiar with her time on the Bachelor franchises.

I hadn't watched The Bachelor/The Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise in yearssss (for fans, since Arie Luyendyk Jr's season) so I didn't know of Abigail Heringer going into her memoir. And truthfully, I was most excited about the BTS info on the franchise that she might spill. <b> This book - and Abigail - are so so so so so so much more than that.</b>

It seems to me that she has accomplished everything she's set out to - and then some. The education on cochlear implants and the deaf (and uppercase D, Deaf) community was provided beautifully. For something so abstract (to me) to be grasped so clearly thanks to her words, left me in awe.

(more to come but I didn't want to forget what I'd written so far lol)

{Thank you bunches to NetGalley, Abigail Heringer and Sourcebooks for the Audiobook in exchange for my honest review!}

As a former huge fan of the bachelor and an Oregonian, I was excited to read Abigail’s memoir. I really enjoyed watching her on the show as was curious to learn more about her.

Overall, I think this memoir was a worthwhile read. I thought the parts about growing up deaf were really interesting although I would have liked a more in depth look at the deaf community and how she fit into it. It felt like she was trying every hard to not make anyone mad when discussing her implants. I also was curious about her parent’s decision to not learn or teach her ASL.

The parts about the bachelor franchise were also pretty interesting but I would also have liked to have had more details. It felt pretty skimmed over and didn’t go into much detail.

I think if you are a bachelor fan you’d probably enjoy this one!

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc.

WOW!!! JUST WOW!! I really loved Abigail on the Bachelor franchise and when I saw that she was writing a book, I knew I just had to snag it. I was intrigued by her story and wanted to learn more.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advance review copy in return for an honest review. I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
I already loved Abigail but this made me love her more. This book was so educational while also keeping your attention.

I am not a memoir girlie but when I saw this audiobook I had to listen! I have been team Abigail ever since I saw her on Matt’s season of the bachelor. I thought she was so strong and compassionate and she easily became my favorite contestant. After listening to this audiobook I love her even more! It was amazing to listen to her story and understand the struggles she faced. Again I do not usually read memoirs but I’m so glad I did and I loved that she narrated it because it made it feel even more genuine.

I was very intrigued by this book because I was a speech path major and minored in Deaf studies and it’s always interesting to get new perspective. I’ve read a book by a Deaf child of hearing adult, and I’m glad that I picked up Heringer’s book.
I loved learning about how her mother chose to raise both her and her sister as Deaf children, and the choice to go through with a cochlear implant. As she took ASL in school, kids in class formed an anti-cochlear implant stance which feels similar to how my classes felt - which makes me feel for her. Overall, I am happy she chose to be so vulnerable and share her experience because I learned more today.
I have to say that I have never watched an episode of the Bachelor, but it will be the next thing I watch, as a reality tv show lover!

I loved Abigail on the bachelor and paradise. Hearing her story and struggle with being deaf on reality tv was so interesting. I loved her and Noah’s love story 🩷

Thank you to Net Galley for providing me with this Audio ARC

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for an advanced copy of this audiobook! It was an absolute joy to listen to. I loved hearing Abigail speak about her experience growing up.

A big thank you to @RBmedia for an ALC of this memoir!

As a fan of Abigail from her time on the Bachelor I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to read her memoir & I am so grateful I did. Abigail details her life from the beginning as an individual born deaf, noting the way in which this shaped her life experiences, perception of her disability and the way in which she was seen (or not seen) by many.

Her writing and detail is profound, descriptive and impactful - giving readers a true glimpse into her life with a disability. Addressing the complex feelings that come with being deaf and having access to sound through a cochlear implant, especially detailing the way in which the deaf community in itself if split into the “lower case d deaf” and “capital D Deaf” communities. I appreciated the way in which Abigail talked about ways that her friends and family were able to show up for her and were allies - as that is something I very much strive to be as well and I was able to learn a lot from this information.

My dear friend Beth has a sweet son Cooper, who was born deaf and now has access to sound through cochlear implants. In talking with, being around and spending time with Beth & Coop, I have learned so much for which I am so grateful! I am especially grateful that my son is friends with Cooper, and has been able to learn more about deafness, what it means, and how we all have differences that make us unique! As someone who always strives to learn, grow and understand more - I was so excited to see that Beth blurbed Abigail’s book - noting the way in which it helped her as a mother to a child with cochlear implants to better understand the world in which Cooper is navigating. I definitely agree with Beth’s additional sentiments that “All readers have something to gain by reading The Deaf Girl, whether it’s gaining insight into the life of a loved one or simply learning more about interacting with deaf individuals.”

ALSO - if you listen to the audiobook like I did, Abigail narrates the book herself! There is something so profound, special and intimate to me when the author of a memoir narrates it themselves & I found that to be especially true with Abigail’s book!

Thank you Abigail for sharing your story!

As someone who doesn't have many experiences interacting with people in the deaf community, I appreciate this open exploration of the author's experiences. I felt like I learned a lot with this. I didn't know of the author before picking up this book as I don't watch the bachelor, but I didn't feel left out of the loop at all. I highly encourage everyone to give this a try.

Watching Abigail on TV was such a special moment for me, so getting to hear her experiences that made her the girl we all fell in love with was magical. She’s an inspiration to everyone regardless of their personal connection to her story.