in this essay collection, gomez urzaiz asks the question, “what kind of mother abandons her child?” and then outlines the various social, cultural, and economic reasons why this happens, albeit not often.

this is exactly the kind of essay collection i love - the author had a clear vision of what she wanted to explore and pulled in so many interesting female figures from literature, film, music, as well as the perspective of everyday women. she also provided her own insight as a mother herself, so we get a bit of personal writing in the mix too. i was unfamiliar with most of the women gomez urzaiz examined in the book, so i feel like i truly learned a lot.

the subject is such a gray area and i think gomez urzaiz highlighted a fear that a lot of people have surrounding whether or not to have kids - what if it’s not what i actually want? i really appreciated how, when possible, she provided the perspective of the children of the women in question. super interesting to see how each mother-child relationships were affected by the mother’s actions.

i really enjoyed gomez urzaiz’s writing style and am interested to read more from her!

The Abandoners is an investigation into motherhood, especially the worst thing a mother can do: abandon her children. Interspersed with reflections on what it means and costs to be a mother in modern society are short biographies of famous women from recent history who have done that unthinkable deed. She discusses their reasoning, their gains, and the many costs to both mother and child that come with abandonment. It was thoughtfully written, compassionate, and a very good addition to the conversation about modern motherhood.

While a noncustodial father can pay child support, see his kids a few times a year, and still be seen as a good dad, our society reserves special judgement for women who abandon their children. The author, herself a mother, is also troubled by the idea that a woman would do this. So she sets out to explore the question: why would a mother leave her child?

This collection of essays explores prominent women throughout history, like Doris Lessing and Maria Montessori, who left their children to be raised by others. They range from very sympathetic (my heart breaks for Joni Mitchell!), to troubled and complicated, to frankly a bit monstrous. Instead of making value judgements, this book explores their stories and the effect that leaving has on their relationships with their children as adults. The author also talks about society’s views of motherhood in general, and shares her personal experiences. She recounts travelling for work when her son was a few months old and being judged for it by colleagues.

This book does not justify abandoning a child, but it raises interesting questions about why mothers are judged for this in a way fathers aren’t. I might try to make my book club read this one, because I could talk about it for hours!

Thanks to NetGalley and W. W. Norton and company for this ARC.

It's s hard to judge the prose of a translated work, but it was very personable and felt like a conversation among friends, even though it was more of a monologue with me not adding much.

I was perhaps expecting a bit more than a more straightforward relaying of the biographies of these women. However, this was already more than I've heard on this topic elsewhere. Hope it sparks further conversation

In my experience so far, anything Lizzie Davis has been confident enough in to translate is 110% worth the read. Having a Spanish grandfather whose broken English I grew up parsing, I was so happy to still feel parts of the culture in Lizzie's translation. It's abundantly clear that a lot of effort and heart went into this work on both her and Begoña Gómez Urzaiz's part.

(I swear my son can sense when I'm mid-review, GRRRR. Be back to finish & post to Goodreads and Storygraph during his naptime later! )

{Thank you bunches to Begoña Gómez Urzaiz, Lizzie Davis and W.W. Norton & Co for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. This one has especially been a pleasure thanks to Lizzie!}