“...the virus made her jittery with alarm. Without discriminating, lives were stripped away…” her adoptive mother included. Sheltering in place was a time of vast blankness…each day blending into the next…everyone waited.

Ilana Barrett fell into her old routine…without a single conscious moment. “The beat of the street pumped into the soles of her heels…”. Taxi cab horns sounded as she walked to her Greenwich Village brownstone. She was production manager for the Lyric Opera House. “A crushing volume of details defined her world…everything was her responsibility…stagehands…labor unions…it was an authority she didn’t own naturally. Insecurity hid in the folds of her fashionable suit.”

“Ilana felt the only way to ward off making mistakes in life was to be certain and walk with purpose…” show no emotion or weakness. She had attended all the right schools, had the right set of upwardly mobile friends and the right boyfriend, Adam. He was a neuroscientist at Columbia University. To stay at the top of his game, he needed to “research, publish, speak and stay relevant.” Adam’s discussion topics included conscious and unconscious decision making. “You don’t decide what you’ll think next. Thought appears.” Ilana’s go-to person was William. Both had experienced significant loss; Ilana with the death of her adoptive mother, William, his coming out alienated his entire family. Ilana and William were each other's “family”. Both Adam and William advised Ilana not to follow the unconscious thought that rose to the forefront; discover her birth mother.

A day trip to Albany, New York…just to get a bird's eye view of what her birth mother, Fiona was like. Fiona and her husband Shea, owned a pub in a neighborhood that was a far cry from Ilana’s upscale living. While Ilana peered into the pub, Shea tossed out a rowdy patron who crashed into her pushing her to the ground. Pulled up by her armpits, Shea helped her into the bar then handed her a stiff drink. Suddenly, she was enveloped in the fold of Fiona’s family and brought home to have dinner with the clan. They wondered about this strange woman dressed in an impeccable suit who appeared on their doorstep. Her one day visit was a glimpse into a different world, a chaotic one seemingly with free will, free time and skinny dipping.

Life as Ilana knew it could suddenly change on a dime. She had a successful business life at the Opera, the potential for marriage and children with Adam, a life certain and with purpose…but constrained. Life in Albany was free-falling, a simple life with unrestrained joy and love. Ilana was now lost in thought. She had a champion in septuagenarian opera donor, Isabella whose insight and life experiences helped Ilana discover that whether conscious or unconscious, controlled or determined by a leap of faith, decisions were consequential.

“Lost in Thought” provides a wide array of characters from all walks of life. In the capable hands of author Deborah Serra, the novel explores the mystery and emotionality of some of life’s most difficult decisions. Highly recommended.

Thank you Koehlerbooks and Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Ilana has everything, she has an amazing job, had amazing parents, and great boyfriend. She decided that she wanted to go and not just meet her biological mom but to just be there, just to see her. Ilana got more than what she bargained for that’s for sure.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced digital copy of this book.

Ilana has the perfect life. Or does she? She lives in the center of the universe, New York City, has a job she loves and is very good at, an attentive lover who is on the cusp of proposing, a best friend, a psychiatrist who helps her work through her problems, so what's missing? And THAT is the question that starts this book.

Ilana always knew she was adopted and her parents loved her unconditionally, providing everything she would need to have a good and fulfilling life. But the recent death of her mother, with whom she was especially close, has led her to curiosity about what her life MIGHT have been if her teenage birth mother had not given her up for adoption. So, against the advice of virtually everyone in her life, she sets off to Albany, where she has learned her birth mother lives and runs a bar. She is just going to go in quietly, have a glass of wine, and see this mother she has never known, then leave and go back to her "real" life. But things don't go QUITE as planned and Ilana gets to know the family as she never expected, somehow losing herself and staying the entire weekend. Finally, as she is readying to leave, she reveals to her mother, Fiona, who she really is. Everything that happened that weekend seems like a dream, or a nightmare, and she is incapable of returning to the life she had been leading.

The question is, do we make the big decisions about our lives not freely, but as a result of everything that we have experienced up to that moment? Suddenly, Ilana is on a quest to find out.

This is too stream-of-consciousness style for my taste and I didn't enjoy my time with it. I can say it's about a character, Ilana, questioning her life and wondering what could've been if things were different. I can see other reviewers saying that it's thought-provoking, specifically about nature vs. nurture, and conscious and unconscious choices, but I, unfortunately, didn't get that out of this book because I just couldn't engage with it. I just didn't like the writing style or characters, so I had a hard time finding something of value to me. That said, I think a shot should be given to this book if it piques your interest in any way.

Thanks NetGalley for lost in thought. At first I found the book seemed slow and I nearly gave up but once I got into it the book got more interesting and having finished the book it gave me food for thought. I loved the ending. Wish it wasn’t so long

Ilana has her dream life with her dream job and a steady boyfriend. Her life unfolds in a direction that was predicted for her by her step-parents. However, the death of her stepmother derails the usual calm and collected Ilana. She decides to find and visit her real mother to get some answers. During this emotional journey, she faces some doubts and uncertainties and explores alternatives to her usual orderly and settled life. Interesting is the whole theory about how much are we using our free will or our subconscious to determine our life. I found her journey to the real unfettered Ilana realistic and relatable and enjoyed the book.

Lost in thought follows all the "noise" in Illana's head---multiple thought processes at once. Friends in psychology and social science lend counsel as she navigates complex topics of heredity, destiny and free will. Illana, adopted at birth, discovers her birth mom lives a wildly different life, which adds to her psychological tension.

Ilana has an enviable job at the opera house, a committed relationship, and a cost Greenwich apartment, but the questions inside of her are growing insistent. Is it due to her scientist boyfriend's research on how people make their decisions, or is she suffering suppressed grief from the death of her adoptive mother? She becomes curious about who she would be if she'd grown up in her birth mother's home? Is she truly who she thinks she is? Has she ever freely chosen anything at all? When Ilana learns that her birth mum owns a pub upstate, well, what harm could there be in furtively dropping by for a drink? To see, just to see. What begins as curiosity about her choices evolves into a traumatic shift in her world. She loses control of her life. And then, chaos.

This is a thought-provoking story. Ilana Barrett is a production manager at the Lyric Opera House in New York City. Her partner, Adam, is a scientist. Ilana was adopted, and she finds out her mother, Fiona, runs a bar in Albany. She decides to go and visit the pub, and see what her mother is like.

The characters are intriguing. Will the knowledge of her background make Ilana become a different person? The book had me asking myself many questions. Unfortunately, I was over 50% before I was fully invested in this book.

Published 22nd October 2024

I would like to thank #NetGalley #KoehlerBooks and the author #DeborahSerra for my ARC of #LostInThought in exchange for an honest review.

I had a lot of difficulty getting through this and was unable to finish. The prose was slow and I didn't really follow the main character's train of thought. Thank you for the pre-read but this was perhaps not for me.

“Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive. You should remember that”


Ilana Barrett is a successful production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City. She is in a committed relationship with partner Adam, a scientist and leads an affluent lifestyle, living in an apartment in Greenwich Village. Outwardly life looks good, but Ilana is unsettled and needs the constant support of her dearest friend, confidante and therapist, William.

The only child of adoptive parents, Ilana (now in her thirties), has begun to wonder more and more about her birth mother and how her life might have turned out if they had remained together. Her father had passed away some time ago and now her mother succumbs to Covid, spurring Ilana into taking actions which might turn her life upside down and inside out.

She discovers that her birth mother's name is Fiona and that she runs a bar in Albany, upstate New York. Curious and against the advice of both Adam and William, she decides to visit unannounced, just to get a feel for the place and the type of person her mother is. The plan is to be there and back in the same day. However, fate steps in and throws all her plans into confusion, something she is really not able to cope with, without William's advice and shoulder to lean on. The family, their business and the area in which they live, are not at all what Ilana had envisaged, so whilst wanting to run for home almost immediately, she gets sucked into their friendly and outgoing demeanour and finds herself making one of the biggest lone decisions of her life. But is it one she is going to regret when she cedes that all important control to an unknown force?

Ilana knows that if she takes the romanticism of finding her birth family out of the equation, theirs is a lifestyle she really doesn't want to lead, as comforting as it might appear to be. But rather than simply walk away and never contact them again, she makes the decision that Fiona at least should know who she really is and why she has tracked her down. Fiona's initial reaction is not at all what Ilana expects and William has to do some straight talking to get Ilana back on track. Even when Fiona has a slight change of heart, Ilana is left under no illusion about where her future lies, although when she decides that honesty is the best policy and comes clean with Adam, it becomes abundantly clear that he has other ideas which no longer include her.

When William is taken from her suddenly, Ilana is emotionally paralysed and doesn't know how she is going to move forward with her life. Advice comes from the strangest of sources, from someone who has become one of her closest friends, despite their differences in age, outlook on life and that they have known each other for such a relatively short time.

Will Ilana's consciously determined leap of faith be her undoing or her moment of independence - that's left for the reader to decide!
...

This is definitely a book which is going to divide opinion and thus would probably make a great topic for group discussion. I was left very undecided in my thoughts about it. However, I am sure that the levels of internal debate I experienced, were probably just as the author intended. I definitely enjoyed the underlying storyline a lot, along with the author's engaging and powerful style of writing, together with the way in which she introduced and developed such a very eclectic cast and mix of characters, so an overall 4* rating still seems more than fair from me personally.

The storyline actually raised quite a few questions I had never considered about conscious and unconscious decision making and exactly how much of each is free will and how much is controlled, although most choices have consequences and not all of those can be anticipated or controlled. I did feel however, that having Adam explain in such detail, the theories behind each theme, was a bit over the top and mind-boggling for the layperson such as myself. The same went for Ilana when she was self-analysing almost every move she made and thought she had, especially when she had broken her own rules around spontaneity.

Whilst the physical locations of the storyline were quite narrow and focussed, I found that the 'armchair traveller' in me was more than happy, as there were some excellent descriptions of both New York State locations, together with some lovely nuanced details and anecdotes relative to the 'behind the scenes' operations of an opera house.

The one slight criticism of the download copy I was offered to read, was that chapter breaks were not clearly enough marked and there were speech passages from multiple characters, all written together in a single paragraph, making it a little unclear as to who was speaking at any given moment in time. Hopefully these points are to be addressed before the book's release date.

I don't know what it was about this book, but Ilana's story just never came to life for me. The characters in upper state were too generic and the situations too unbelievable.

At its heart, the book offers a modern, nuanced take on the Nature vs. Nurture debate, this time exploring it through the lens of conscious and unconscious decision-making. We see many parallels throughout the narrative, such as between Ilana's adoptive upbringing versus her biological family, Manhattan versus Upstate New York, and urban life versus pastoral living. Ilana continually questions herself: if her actions are the byproduct of unconscious decision-making, is this a result of how she was raised, or is it more tied to her genetic history?

The book serves as an interesting exploration of this age-old debate in literature, and overall, I believe the author wants the reader to contemplate the debate itself rather than arrive at a definitive conclusion. I thought this was an interesting topic to explore and was told through equally engaging moments within the story.

While the book was well-written and engaging, I found the introduction of its main themes—primarily through the character Adam, who explains the theory of conscious versus unconscious decision-making—felt a bit heavy-handed. Additionally, Ilana's self-reflection on these questions could have been presented more subtly. I think it would have enhanced the narrative if these topics were woven into the story more organically, allowing readers to observe Ilana's dilemma from a distance instead of being told outright.

That being said, 'Lost in Thought' was still an overall solid read, and I'm looking forward to Deborah's next book! :)

‘Not everything is meant to know, Ilana. Some things need their mystery to survive. You should remember that.’

Ilana Barrett is the production manager for the Lyric Opera House in New York City, she is in a committed relationship with Adam, a scientist, and has an apartment in Greenwich Village. Life looks good, but Ilana is unsettled. Her adoptive mother recently died, and Ilana wonders about her birth mother, about the life she might have lived with her birth mother. Ilana’s curiosity is stoked, in part, by Adam’s research into how people make decisions. What are the impacts of nature and nurture on a life?

While Adam has his own plans for their life together, Ilana is curious to learn more about her birth mother. And, when she learns that her birth mother owns a pub in upstate New York, she decides to make a visit. What could possibly go wrong? Ilana intends to remain anonymous. Things do not go according to plan: Ilana in her tailored linen suit stands out in the pub, but somehow, she becomes caught up in the lives of those she meets. What happens when control is ceded?

I was a fair way into this novel before I became fully engaged. The introspective musing at the beginning may have been a perfect lead into what follows, but I found it irritating at times. Adam and Ilana both annoyed me: he with his assumptions and she with her attempts to accommodate his expectations. By far my favourite character in the first part of the book was Ilana’s friend William. But part way through the book, when I was beginning to despair, the focus and pace changed, and I found myself caught up in Ilana’s journey. And when I finished, I wondered what might happen next.

Choices have consequences: not all consequences can be anticipated.

‘It was disconcerting to face that her value did not come from who she was, but rather from what she was, …’

Note: My thanks to NetGalley, the Meryl Moss Media Group and Köehler Books for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

Lost in Thought is a powerful and insightful novel that explores decision-making and free will. Ilana is a woman who seems to have it all- an amazing job, partner, caring parents and friends. After her mother passes away in the Covid pandemic Ilana connects with her biological family. We join her as she processes her grief and ponders her genetics and her life. Set against the theatre world, it was nice to see behind the scenes of productions. I enjoyed Ilana’s friendship with William and seeing her grow and change over the novel. I enjoyed the author’s beautiful writing style however, I would have liked it if there were distinct chapters as there’s a lot to unpack and digest and no time to pause and reflect and the story just keeps moving. I was left with an overwhelming feeling of sadness at the end but was happy to see some hope waiting and change waiting for Ilana.

I wanted to like this book, the description sucked me in, but the book didn't deliver. I almost DNF'd it several times.

The novel focused more on her boyfriends theory on consciousness than it did on the characters themselves.

I completely understood her journey of questioning everything she thought she knew and spiral into the what-ifs and what-could-have-been, but she was such a unlikeable and bland character that I couldn't start to care about her troubles.

I liked the premise of this book but it wasn’t executed well. The relationship between the main character and her man was annoying and not good. I wish they showed some development there. I think the writing was just okay a. I could see where it might have people intrigued and introspective of their own choices they make.

When I started the book, I didn't like it. The characters were just not interesting to me; seemed plastic. I didn't like the way Adam seemed to force Ilana into attending a social event when she had more important things to worry about, but we didn't know what it was that she was stressing about. At the dinner, Adam took center stage and controlled the conversation to free will, etc. that he was researching. He seemed too full of himself and I didn't like him. Ilana came across as blah and not very aware of what she was getting into, but was headstrong about it.

It seems her mom had died months before and she now had an urge to meet or at least check out her birth mom. Adam and her friend William did not think she should go alone, but she was headstrong and naive and ignored their warnings, only to regret that big time. She travels to the pub the mom owns and thought, dressed like Manhattan, that she would go unnoticed in an Irish pub.

The book was too long, too filled with this theory of Adam's that just didn't fit. I found those parts boring and skipped them. I did finish the book, but the only character I liked was William. The rest was too, too... thrown together?

Not really for me, but I'd give it 2.5 stars. Thank you NetGalley for an advance reader copy. Honest opinions expressed here are my own and are freely given

I received a free copy of, Lost in Thought, by Deborah Serra, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Ilana Barrett seems to have the perfect life. great job and boyfriend, but she has a lot of questions and doubts in her mind, what could of been, what would of been, what should of been, so many questions unanswered. I did not care for this book, Ilana was not the easiest character to rad about, the book was to heavy at times.

See my full review at http://michelleardillo.com/2024/09/17/book-review-lost-in-thought-by-deborah-serra/

The writing here is magnificent and the story is quite thought-provoking. Nature vs. nurture, how we make choices - whether it is free will, conscious thought, or something hard-coded in our DNA from those who've gone before us. It's a lot to unpack and you would think it would make for some heavy reading. Far from it though. I was pulled in from the start and I would venture that it is because of the masterful writing.