Soulmates, they met young, married soon, had a son, seemingly the recipe for eternal happiness. Then he has an accident ending it all. Although this is over 20 years ago, his widow still muses on the vagaries of life that possibly could have avoided the outcome. In miniscule chapters preceded by "If only," she tells their history and even that of the motorcycle he was riding at the time. Not his. Not even available for sale in the country in which it was built (Japan). A couple well versed in the culture of the day, much reference is made particularly to music as his love for that medium was his source of joy as well as his employment at the Lyon library. Much wisdom between these pages, as well as regret, and one can only hope that by writing it down, she is able to help herself.