★ ★ ★ 1/2 (rounded up)
This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
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WHAT'S A SERIAL KILLER'S GUIDE TO MARRIAGE ABOUT?
I had a long and drawn-out version of this planned, but I scrapped it when I realized it would be longer than everything else in the post—and you'd be in better hands if you read Mackay's version.

So I'm going to try to be brief.

Every parent knows that having a child changes your life. There are two distinct phases—pre-child and post-child. If you're in a marriage/long-term relationship, that changes, too. Significantly. Generally, it's worth it—but we all know the "remember when we did X when we wanted to?" feeling. We all have to find new ways to relate to our partners, ways to keep things exciting.

But what if that X was killing people? People who abused women, in particular. What if the thing that brought them together, their joint purpose was this particular vigilantism—along with the travel necessary? What would they do after they had to put it aside for the safety and well-being of a daughter?

What would that do to their relationship? What would it do to them as individuals? What kinds of strain would be caused?

These, and many other questions, are answered in A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage

HAZEL
You are going to almost instantly appreciate Hazel's voice and perspective (assuming you can put up with the whole serial killing thing. But if you can't, you're probably not reading a book with this title)—part of that is because we start with her POV, partially because she's a great character that anyone wants to identify with and empathize with.

She wants the best for her daughter and her husband. She's a devoted mother and dotes on the girl. But she misses who she was. She misses who she and Fox were. She feels shackled by his decision to hang up their knives and live a "straight" life while raising their daughter (children?). She mostly agrees with the choice, but it chafes.

Hazel has never been good at making friends, but she's trying to fit into her new, suburban life—going to mommy and baby groups, trying to forge relationships. And she is beginning to forge a friendship with a fellow mother when she discovers she's made a bad choice. This new friend is a police officer.

Whoops.

GRIPE #1: FOX'S PERSPECTIVE
Fox does not make a good first impression—or at least Hazel doesn't leave us with a good first impression. Thankfully, it didn't take too long to see something from his perspective and it became possible to empathize with him some. In fact, once we get to see his self-deprecating wit, it's hard for a reader not to like the guy a little—and to realize that Hazel was being (understandably) uncharitable.

It's a thing that happens in marriage from time to time—especially the kind that could probably use a guide to marriage.

Fox is incredibly careful and thoughtful (about their criminal activities, anyway, not so much about his wife's feelings). He does do much for Hazel—for their family's sake—that he doesn't tell her about, or explain fully.

There were two angles to things with Fox's perspective that I think hurt the book as a whole while being things that Mackay clearly intended and I probably just don't appreciate enough. The first is that we don't know everything he's up to and/or knows—this is done so we can learn about it at the same time as Hazel, which works for dramatic effect. But it feels like Mackay is cheating a little bit to get us there.

The other part comes as a result of Fox's place in the novel—as a character, he's second banana to Hazel. What she's doing and thinking is far more important (and I get that), but in addition to having a lot hidden from us, parts of his story are rushed. There's...a situation back in the States with his family's company. We get a glimpse or two at it, and then it's largely resolved—off-screen. It felt like a missed opportunity.

GRIPE #2: COMMUNICATION
One decent conversation with the person each thinks of as a soulmate. One decent conversation between people we see do so much for each other. One decent conversation between people who would die—or kill—for the other.

That's all it'd take to make this a short story instead of a novel.

Or better yet, put them on a better footing so they could do other things together.

Yes, this is what happens between marriages all the time. Even ones where neither is a criminal of any kind. So it makes sense for Mackay to show this. But it could've been resolved quicker so we could see them as a couple (more or less on the same page, but not at loggerheads) when dealing with Fox's family, Haze's complicated taste in friends, parenting, etc., etc.

Sure, that's not the story Mackay wanted to write—so I really shouldn't gripe about it. But watching how she did everything else (very well, I want to stress), I'd have enjoyed seeing this version more.

SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT A SERIAL KILLER'S GUIDE TO MARRIAGE?
I really enjoyed it. I wanted more from it though, as my second gripe (which looks worse on the page than it is in my mind) indicates—I think Mackay could easily have brought us something better. More like the Mr. and Mrs. Smith TV show than the movie (not that this is a great comparison in several ways, but it captures the gist).

So I'm going to move on from it there.

This is really aspirational in so many ways—their lifestyle? (obviously minus the murdering bits) Either in the carefree pre-parenthood days, or even the suburban version—is something that few of us will see. The travel, the house, the standard of living—it's fun to imagine yourself there.

And honestly, we all sort of like the idea of being a lone vigilante (or a pair), doing the things the authorities don't or can't. Fox sees the comparison to a comic book figure—and embraces it with a grin. Readers will do the same.

At the end of the day, this is silly, trashy, fun—and I mean that as a compliment. I'm pretty sure that's what Mackay was going for, and she achieved it. (if that wasn't her aim, she still hit the mark). I think most readers are going to like it more than I did—I have a short list of people I'm gifting it to, and I am confident they will. Anyone who finds the pitch appealing is going to have fun with this Dexter-ish* comedy, and I recommend it to you.

* Heavy on the "ish."

Disclaimer: I received this eARC from Random House Publishing Group via NetGalley in exchange for this post—thanks to both for this.

What a misleading title — cute, lighthearted. The book is not. It’s bloody and depressing — bloody depressing? — and the characters could hardly be less sympathetic. Haz, an artist, can’t work unless she murders first, and her husband and partner in crime insists they stop now that they have a child. Haz is bored in mommy-land Boo-hoo. I can’t imagine the solution will leave many readers satisfied. Reviewed in print and online in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch on Jan.12

📚 #BOOKREVIEW 📚
A Serial Killer’s Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Pages: 352 / Genre: Domestic Thriller
Release Date: January 14, 2024
🥳#HappyPubDay!🎉

Haze and Fox had been living the serial killer high life. Swimming in the riches gained from killing rich white men with a penchant for hurting women, they partied all over Europe living the dream. They got off on murder but ridding the world of violent rapists and molesters was what really did it for them. But all that changed when Haze got pregnant and Fox settled them out in the suburbs to live clean, wholesome lives. No more killing and no more partying. The adjustment took a toll on both of them in different ways. And some habits are really hard to break.

This book is kind of a slow burn as we watch their marriage start to fray. Each spouse participating in destructive behaviors. But in the end all their lies and secrets are finally revealed and we see if they’re still meant to be together. And I absolutely love it when bad guys get what they deserve. Sure, Haze and Fox are technically murderers but they only kill bad guys so they’re really more like superheroes, right? The end result is a hugely satisfying vigilante love story.

Thank you, @Asia.Mackay, @RandomHouse, and @NetGalley for my gifted copy. I loved it!

I personally was not a fan of this book. It was too long for me and something I couldnt stay focused on. In the beginning it was good to set up the whole senario and the ending was good but there was so much in the middle that just made it harder to stay interested.

I just finished my advanced reader of this book....i totally enjoyed it! parts were dark and parts were very humorous! the story was good and kind of went through the phases of a marriage...... asia mackay was right on with the phases! also a story about friendship......maybe a bit twisted though..!! I wasnt sure that this would be my kind of a book but i liked it a lot!

I had high hopes for this one and while it's good, it fell a little flat. I picked it up and put it down several times. If you're expecting Mr. & Mrs. Smith, this isn't that. What makes this book is the characters. Even when you don't like them, you're compelled to follow them to the end.

I liked the author's writing style, but I didn't enjoy the plot of this book. The premise of having an urge to kill sin't one that I like. I did like Hazel and I hoped that everything would turn out well for her.

My thanks to NetGalley and Bantam Books/Penguin Random House for the ARC of "A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage" in exchange for an honest review.
Never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm starting to lose track of how many books I've read about serial killers who specialize in eliminating only rapists, bullies, abusers, generally obnoxious guys.....and other serial killers.. If this was happening in real life, you'd think the crime rate would've taken a deep dive by now.
Well here's a book that not only sticks it to the patriarchy (literally), but provides an all-too-true portrait of the hills and valleys of married life. Or in this case, the married life of a couple who happily rids the world of terrible people. we'd all be better off without.
Hazel and Fox fell deeply in love as they discovered their shared mutual love of offing really bad guys, just for the fun and thrill of it. These crazy kids can't keep their hands off each other, not to mention a whole lot of other unlucky suckers who long had it comin' to them.
Fox came from wealth, now estranged from his reptilian parents who exiled him to Europe when they discovered his....uh...proclivities. Hazel, on the other hand, came up from a hard scrabble unhappy childhood but can reinvent herself to walk amongst her betters. Once they connect and wed, they're a couple to die for, and any number of guys do just that.
Thanks to Fox's trust fund, our lovebirds live a carefree life, touring Europe, littering the continent with corpses. But then baby Bibi comes along and suddenly they're a family of three. And as in all marriages, even the ones that don't pursue homicide as a hobby, Fox and Hazel settle into the normal everyday life of a London family. Fox, who's embraced fatherhood with a passion, decrees an end to their killing careers, which rankles Hazel. Their sweet union moves into the bumpy 'who left the wet towel on the bathroom floor' stage.
Hazel tries her best at normality, befriending a single mom with troubles of her own. But her itch to kill gets the better of her, plunging her and Fox's marriage into already choppy waters. Every couple has their spats, but usually not with knives in hand......
If you're getting the idea that this book's a buncha fun to read, you're right. Author Asia Mackay throws all manner of twists and complications at Fox and Hazel and takes us through an unflinching honest tour of how marriages constantly evolve, through the pressures of raising children. Quite a balancing act since the book's also tossing dead bodies into the mix too.
Had a swell time with this one and wouldn't mind a sequel to see what the merry marital murder squad's up to next.

Publication date: 14 Jan 2025 (Thanks to NetGalley and Random House/Ballantine for an ARC in exchange for an honest review). I really enjoyed the premise of this book. The middle was a little repetitive and slow to me, but then it picked up pace. It was a great quick read that I'm happy I read!

A Serial Killer’s Guide to Marriage. A classic romance about two beautiful people who meet in an alleyway, murder a man, bang it out, have a lust (blood included) fueled decade of marriage before getting pregnant, hanging up their knives, & settling into domesticity for the sake of their child. Hmm, I’m pretty sure this is a rip off of Austen 🤔😝

I loved this! It is utterly bonkers in every best way. This story is gritty, yet consistently maintains levity through delightfully #darkhumor & reminders that even serial killers watch Peppa Pig if they have a toddler. Hazel & Fox are trying to be good. Fox has a job as an executive & is a doting father. Hazel is staying home to raise their daughter, Bibi, & is even trying to make a, ugh, friend. They’ll do anything to have a safe life for their daughter. Sure, Hazel hasn’t created any art since they stopped killing. And yes, Fox is finding other ways to chase that high without ever telling his wife. And fiiiine, maybe they both feel a bit unfulfilled, never have sex, & barely talk. But they can’t give in to their urges & neither will admit to their spouse how hard this is for them. As tension tears this once perfect couple apart their paranoia & lies compound until it seems like the secret to marriage might just be killing your spouse.

This was laugh out loud funny. Told in dual POV, Mackay did an impressive job of giving Hazel & Fox distinctive voices. She not only created two unique characters, but she made them likable. Even though you know they have a trail of death in their wake, you still end up charmed & rooting for them. Hazel is delightfully foul mouthed & keeps it very real, except when she’s lying of course. Fox seems so put together & truly reformed, but always keeps thing close to him chest. They’re alluring. As is Mackay’s writing.

The ending is a wee bit unbelievable & too perfectly packaged, but honestly I didn’t mind & would have been devastated if it ended any other way. This is absolutely worth the read & will be a wild romp I won’t forget anytime soon. ❤️🔪

Think Mr and Mrs. Smith but serial killers who knew about each other. This book was really engaging and I found myself gripped by the miscommunication, the decisions the main characters made, and the little twists and foreshadowing throughout. 3.75/5

I read about 10% and just couldn't get into it. I think I thought it'd be more thriller-y, and less about domestic life. The female main character was whiny to me, I didn't find myself wanting to pick this back up.

Fox and Haze are partners in more ways than one, but what happens when they give up a part of what makes them them; they are determined to make a better life for their daughter no matter the cost. When Haze begins to get tired of the housewife days, she starts reflecting on their past, and the craving becomes overwhelming. What happens if she gives in? Can she handle everything herself, without her husband’s attention to detail? As she and her friend grow closer, more truths are revealed. During Fox’s chapters, it is seen that he too has the cravings and will do anything to protect his girls. This was a marriage in crisis story that could have been helped had they communicated with each other.

This is a fun and lighthearted take on a killer family trying their best to lead normal lives. Their killer instincts are just itching to break free, leading to a unique blend of family drama and a few scares. While definitely not true to life, it's a thrilling and enjoyable ride from start to finish. A whole lot of fun in the end!

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay was laugh out loud hilarious! Think Mr. And Mrs. Smith meets Dexter. It also had some Butcher and Blackbird vibes but less spice and heavy on the thriller plot. Hazel Matthews and Nathaniel Foxton (Fox) Cabot used to travel the world eliminating bad men. The type of bad men who are rich and powerful and who seem to get away with everything. Now Hazel and Fox's life looks different. They have reluctantly given up the serial killing for their beautiful little girl Bibi. Now instead of globe trotting it's suburbia, Mommy and Me classes and organic food. Fox has adjusted in his role of perfect father but Hazel is having a difficult time. It's not that she doesn't love Bibi, it's just that she loves killing bad men too. She feels lost and dull and her artwork is suffering as well. Hazel know that to keep her daughter safe this is the right thing to do, but how is she going to cope? She has no mommy friends, well no friends really at all, so when she meets another mom at a music class for kiddos she decides to try friendship on for size. But what happens when restless Hazel cheats on Fox? Not with another man in that way, but by killing him. How can she hide this from Fox and put an end to the killing for good? Does she even want to stop?
This book was a wild ride! It kept me completely enthralled and I finished it in less than a day. The dark humor of Hazel's thoughts and actions was hilarious! The story goes between the POVs of Hazel and Fox and also jumps from past to present. I loved the quick pace of this story and I found myself rooting for Hazel and Fox the whole time. It definitely feels like there could be a sequel or a spin-off and if that's so then sign me up!
Thank you to NetGalley, Asia Mackay and Random House Publishing Group- Ballantine for this ARC. Expected publishing date is January 14th 2025.

Cute.

Haze and Fox have come from completely different backgrounds. Haze was taken away from her alcoholic mother when she was only 8 years old. She then lived with her grandmother before she died 3 months later. Then she bounced around from foster home to foster home, getting mistreated by the "fathers." She aged out of the system at 18 and attended art school where she excelled. That's also when she discovered that she had a hunger for hurting men who prey on innocent women.

Fox grew up in NY to an entitled, wealthy family. But his parents were not big on affection nor showing emotions. They thrived on controlling his life. Fox needed to get back some of his control, and the only way how was protecting the innocent. His parents, finally fed up with cleaning up his messes, gave him early access to his trust fund and banished him to Europe.

That's where he met Haze. She was in an alley in Paris and a drunk man tried to attack her. But Haze surprised Fox by fighting back on her own, killing the guy. It was love at first sight. They were married 6 months later and traveled throughout Europe getting rid of evil men. When Haze realizes that she's pregnant, Fox immediately stops their side job.

Haze loves her daughter, but she misses the thrill of the hunt and kill. She befriends a new mom, Jenny, who happens to be a cop without her knowing it. Now she has to convince Jenny that neither she nor Fox are the famous serial killer who used to run around Europe several years ago.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book via NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

Hazel and Fox tell this story of what happened after they stopped killing bad men. After Bibi was born and they moved to the suburbs where Hazel finds herself seething and unable to paint. What a pair! He's the scion of an uberwealthy (and loathsome) American family who exiled himself to Europe and she's a survivor of the British foster system who has only ever had one friend, now, sadly dead. And then she meets the irreverent Jenny who has her own interesting and relevant back story. Although Fox made Hazel swear they would not kill anyone until Bibi turns 18, Hazel's struggling and then, well, she breaks. Hazel and Fox find themselves trying to outgame one another, with Hazel trying to hide what she's done and Fox doing the same (although he's done something else). There's some pointed commentary about the art world, the mommy group, and life in general. There's also some very good twists (no spoilers from me). The storytelling carries the day and will keep you turning the pages. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. A fun read.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This book was quite the ride! I read the majority of this in one sitting, as the short chapters kept me going. I absolutely loved the tongue-in-cheek humor that the author uses to personify the characters that have their own dark hobbies. I have been loving books that are written with this sort of dark humor and this book is no exception. I did not see the end coming at all which surprised me, and I was satisfied with the ending. Giving this one 4 stars because there were parts in the middle that seemed to drag just a bit. Overall though, this is a great and fun read that I would recommend.

A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay is a really wonderfully written story.
It was a super quick read for me because I just could not put it down I had to now what was going to happen next.
The characters are wonderfully written and the storytelling is just amazing.
This was a fabulously fun crime read.

I really enjoyed this surprisingly cute read about two serial killers who stumble across one another, fall in love, and get married. Hazel and Fox and are doing their best to leave their former lifestyle behind, bit after the birth of their baby Hazel especially feels lost and searching for identity. It felt like a sequel to Mrs. and Mrs. Smith.

I rate this book five stars. It was funny and easy to read.