Elisabeth is content with the life she's chosen, alone in her cabin and far from everyone who knew her before and who could hurt her. She's carrying a lot of scars. She was born with a limb discrepancy and underwent years of painful procedures that slowly robbed her of her faith in the world and the people she was supposed to trust. But with a blizzard blanketing the entire town, she has to turn to her neighbor, the young sheriff, and just maybe, she's going to have to open up to someone else.
This is a hard read, but really beautiful. It's so full of pain, but also hope. The writing, especially the poetry, is beautiful. I loved her character growth. This is definitely worth it to read.

Many thanks to Netgalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group | Dutton Books for Young Readers for providing this ARC in exchange of an honest review.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading this one but I have to say that it was better than I thought it would be. Elisabeth had suffered medical trauma as a child which then turned to emotional trauma leading her to run from her family and hide out in a remote cabin. Strong character growth and I love that she was learning to trust again. Emotional and beautifully written poetry.

No real reason but it was sort of middling for me. Sometimes I feel like I struggle to explain it beyond it's just not for me.

This book was so powerful. I had so many quotes I wanted to share, and while I'm not normally a poetry girl, the poems in this were raw and moving, and I loved them.

Justine wanted to make a clean break. Going by her middle name, Elisabeth, she moves to a small town, away from everyone she knows and where nobody knows her. She finds a job helping stock shelves at a small local shop, and a small cabin all to herself.

When a snowstorm hits and cuts the power for several days, she's forced to admit that she needs help. Her fire has burned out, and the tarp over her woodpile was swept away, leaving her woefully unprepared. Her neighbor Noah is the sheriff, and her landlord's brother, and he's tried to introduce himself many times. Her trek to ask him for firewood leads to him rescuing her from the snow, and the two spend the following days inside.

Going between then and now, with then being when she was 11 and undergoing a reparative surgery for a defect in her leg. It's a long and torturous process, and young Justine has to face not just the pain that comes from the procedure, but the emotional pain of having those she trusts hurt her and being left alone, on the outside of her family as she becomes just a burden to them.

The way Allison describes chronic pain is one of the most resonating things I've ever read. The way you feel it can't fully be explained, and the way your mind fights to reason with it. To grapple and accept is as reality, even as you're sure that if you described it, you wouldn't be believed. The way it makes you feel as if you're losing your mind, your sense of reality... wow. This book.

Please do mind trigger warnings, there are some details of medical appointments that can be a lot to take.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher at Penguin. They recommended this one to me, and I am so glad it found me. The story of healing, the poetry, Noah, they'll stay with me for a long time. I hope everyone gets a chance to read this one!

Thank you Netgalley for the advance reader copy of I Am the Cage by Allison Sweet Grant in exchange for an honest review. I really related to this book and was torn between wanting to gobble it up and stopping to think on certain parts. It was beautifully written and I can't recommend it enough.

words can't express how deeply this story clawed its way into my owl soul. i went in knowing absolutely nothing except that it would be sad, and i am so, so grateful for that. this is not a story about romance saving you from a lifetime of medical trauma. this is a story that delves into the way trauma can restructure itself around our new lives. elisabeth will continue to hold space in my heart because of how real and relatable her pain was, but also the steadfast message that it doesn't mean something's wrong with you.

my ramblings

you don’t need to apologize to everyone about not wanting to be punched in the stomach.

so why is other touch different? why is it treated as a problem, an innate impossibility in human experience, a defect to be rectified no matter the cost? why is your dignity, autonomy, and worth stripped away due to the conditions of the body you didn’t create?

i felt so seen with the portrayal of how much it hurts to be ripped apart physically, and even more when others try to pry you apart themselves. how people expect you to know what you want — for it to always be something more — when you’ve had your whole life decided for you.
balancing the weight of knowing that you’re not normal with the need to bury the knowledge so no one else reminds you. so they stop making you relive it all over again, just for their sake of understanding.

as for the rest of our story: the setting is lovely & the characters go from immediately likable to realistically frustrating, and end up poignitally human. there's ups and downs, but it gives me hope for more ups. because not everything is horrible all of the time. i stayed in bed for a day to finish this. i sobbed throughout the last half. i'm so grateful to find a book that encapsulates medical trauma so well, and is still suitable for a younger audience.

even when everyone around you tells you you’re broken, you’re not.

tw: chronic pain, medical trauma and negligence (explicit), awful families, gaslighting, grief, thoughts of suicide

thank you to netgalley for providing an arc that has altered my brain chemistry

I was drawn to this book by the title and the description of a teenage girl isolating herself in a remote log cabin. As a child Elisabeth has undergone traumatic surgical treatments to correct a bone discrepancy. While she is now apparently healed physically, her emotional trauma is raw and enduring. Author Allison Sweet Grant does a commendable job of exposing Elisabeth’s difficult recovery and lingering hurts and insecurities. This is a book sensitive older teen readers may appreciate.

Going into this book I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I did. This book was so powerful and so beautiful. The character growth in the book with the main character was so beautiful to read.

I definitely look forward to more books from this author.

Elisabeth just wants a break from her life. She has lived a physically painful and lonely life and she just wants a break from it all. From her family and friends. She finds herself in a remote town where no one knows her or about her past. She finds a job in a small shop that doesn't really need any extra help. She is living the life she wants at this time. When a major blizzard hits the area and the power is out, she has to make some tough decisions in order to survive. Making the trek across the field to the Sheriff's house (the sheriff is her landlord's brother by the way), she finds the help she needs and maybe a little more.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers for the opportunity to read and review this title.

Feeling like you are trapped is always a terrible feeling. You could feel her pain while she was in her leg brace and the pain she felt by not being able to open up to others. This book was a slow burn, where you weren't sure what was going to happen. But it made me think and about being on your own and I think it's a good story for any teen who thinks they are ready to be out on their own.

Emotionally wrenching story about medical trauma--a topic that I had not read about in YA fiction before. I could see this being quite validating for teens/adults who have similar stories. It started out a bit slow, but once I was invested in the story, I read quickly.

This book was heartbreaking, how Elisabeth is treated by her mother and why she leaves when she turns 18. It grabbed me from the start and I couldn't put it down. A good mix of poetic verse and novel and one I think my students will enjoy.

This book surprised me as I didn’t know what to expect when I requested it. I haven’t read much poetry but this was a great and easy read. I didn’t expect the emotions I felt while reading this and this book actually made me cry. Hard to put down and a great read for the climate we’re currently living in.

an emotionally charged novel that takes readers on a raw and painful journey of self-discovery, grief, and healing. The narrative alternates between two timelines: the present, where Elizabeth is living alone, struggling to prove her independence, and her past as an 11-year-old, enduring painful medical treatments. The dual timelines highlight her unresolved trauma and how she tries to convince herself that everything is "fine," when in reality, she is far from healed.

The book delves deeply into Elizabeth's emotional turmoil—her grief, insecurities, and the physical pain she must confront. The writing is beautiful yet poignant, capturing the intensity of Elizabeth's struggles and the toll they take on her. The unexpected arrival of her neighbor, Noah, a kind and steady presence as the town sheriff, forces Elizabeth to finally confront her vulnerabilities and accept help, setting her on the path toward self-acceptance.

Elizabeth moves to a small town where no one knows her, and she can live quietly and what she sees as safe. But a snowstorm and her neighbor, the young sheriff Noah, lead her to look at her life through different eyes. This is a deeply absorbing story, visceral and emotional as Elizabeth gradually tries to deal with the horror and trauma of her childhood filled with horrendous medical procedures. This is a story about not only survival, but trust, which Elizabeth has little left. Watching her work her way through it (including some powerful poetry) is fascinating, and resonates long after finishing the book. A short, quick, beautiful read. Highly recommended.

3.5 stars

<I>How frightening it must be, to wake up to a world completely changed, and to no longer understand your place in it.</I>

I Am the Cage is an introspective novel that delves into medical trauma, disability, and resilience. I went into it expecting a heavy read, but I was also anticipating a stronger romance element than there was.

The story is mostly internal, we spend most of the time in Elizabeth’s thoughts as she navigates the long-term effects of childhood medical trauma. We follow her currently, living in self imposed isolation, and we see past chapters as she experiences her trauma.

<I>What I had really been running from was the girl she had taught me to be—fearful, weak, and silent. To whisper when I should have been wailing, to be permissive when I should have protested. To be servile in the midst of suffering. I had learned to hold myself accountable for the actions of others, and when others should have been accountable to me, I learned only to question myself.</I>

Her time wearing a fixation device (drilled into her bones to correct a leg discrepancy) was harrowing. The book doesn’t shy away from the physical and emotional toll of her treatments, or how she was treated as less than/a problem that needed to be fixed. This was an important perspective on disability and the shortcomings of the medical system, particularly in how children are treated, and not consulted about their own care.

The poetry was definitely my favorite part. Those sections were beautifully written and added a lyrical depth to the story.

<I> You are my body and I am your mind—
Since we’re stuck with each other, let’s just be kind.
I’ll ignore you and you ignore me—
We’ll go on with our lives, separately,
With a clear understanding of what each other intends.
We live together but we are not friends.</I>

I listened to the audiobook, and I think it would have benefitted from a voice actor. It was narrated by the author, and I found the performance lacking in voice differentiation between characters, the protagonist’s thoughts, poetry, and dialogue, making it difficult to fully immerse myself. I think if it was narrated more like Ever Since by Alena Bruzas I would have liked it more.
While I can appreciate an author wanting to narrate their own work, especially if they have personal experience with the trauma, I think a voice actor would have brought more nuance and emotional weight to the story.

Because of the heavy nature I did find this pretty hard to read, and hard to want to come back to. And I found conflict to be a bit unresolved.

The writing itself is strong, the disability representation is important. If you’re looking for a deeply personal exploration of trauma, this book may resonate with you. But if you’re expecting a more structured plot or a true romance, it might not be the right fit.

I Am the Cage by Allison Sweet Grant starts slow and a bit chaotic like the snow storm that shuts down Elizabeth/Justine’s mountain hideaway. As she slowly befriends the local sheriff, she comes to term with her childhood trauma. There’s a gentle sweetness to Elizabeth challenged by the raw pain that keeps dragging into the past. Each alternating timeline chapter makes her simultaneously more vulnerable and yet stronger each step forward. This will make you wonder who really knows best and what price is worth debilitating pain and suffering.

Some really huge YA authors blurbed this book (Markus Zusak, John Green, and Kathleen Glasgow), so I went into the story already a little bit in awe.

The story alternates between two different times. In the present-day scenes, Elisabeth lives an anonymous life in a small coastal town, alone in a rented cabin. In the past, she endures a painful surgery and excruciating ongoing treatment while feeling emotionally isolated from her family.

She wrestles with these memories of her past and the idea that the only way to be safe is to be alone. This becomes more difficult in the snowstorm, and she reluctantly begins depending on help from the local sheriff. I liked the fact that the relationship doesn’t “fix” her. He doesn’t push her, but he doesn’t magically cure her, either. She has to figure out what she wants and what she needs and how to put that into words for herself.

The scenes showing the aftermath of her surgery and the adjustments to the brace on her leg are pretty rough at times. It’s also not emotionally simple. It’s far beyond the adage about “no pain, no gain.” I found myself questioning where the line is between treatment and torture. It made me think about the fact that children endure longterm medical treatment without the guarantee of a supportive family, and what those scars would look like.

I read the book really quickly, staying up far past my bedtime to finish the story. I loved the way that things resolve and the connections that were there from the beginning that Elisabeth didn’t know about until the end.

Fans of Kathleen Glasgow will enjoy this one.

4 stars!

Allison Sweet Grant has written a beautiful, poetic, heart wrenching story that is so very raw and so real you can’t help but cry throughout the story, painful tears, gut wrenching tears and happy tears as well.

This is a story you will have to process. Containing many aspects of the ugly part of being human and the raw emotions that someone who has chronic medical issues deal with daily.
Elizabeth hides in a cabin away from everyone and anything that would bring up her past. She wants to get away and start over, dealing with many traumas from her past. She doesn’t open up, and she hates showing or feeling any vulnerability to anyone. However, when a massive snow storm occurs, and the power is out, she reluctantly goes to her neighbor, the young new sheriff. After spending time with him and talking some things out with him, she is slowly realizing that she can no longer hide or run from her traumatic past, and to move past it she is going to have to come to terms with what happened and find her voice to speak about it.
This story is powerful and moving, and shows a rawness that isn't pretty and people do not want to see or don’t realize that it happens and it's how people feel. The author wrote this beautifully, it was moving. The story with the struggles puts childhood trauma into words and shows how it can affect people and their thought process even into adulthood! This is definitely worth the read! Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Group for the opportunity to read and review this one! It was an empowering journey!

Sadly this one isn't for me at all, an I tried three times to get in to it and just couldn't do it .