***Thanks to NetGalley for providing me a complimentary copy of I AM THE CAGE by Allison Sweet Grant in exchange for my honest review.***

I wish I AM THE CAGE was a five star review for me, as I understand the novel is very personal to its writer Allison Sweet Grant.

My inability to warm up to narrator Elisabeth/Justine is probably the biggest reason I didn’t enjoy I AM THE CAGE. In the chapters from her childhood, she constantly ascribed negative feelings and motives to her mother, the way a kid might (she doesn’t like *me*, she didn’t want to help me). By telling rather than showing, I didn’t feel as if the character was unbiased. Caretaking for a sick/recovering child is exhausting, especially when she child sees the parent as the cause of the hurt. Unlike other stories, Justine showed only resentment most of the time. Obviously surgical pain is horrible and being unable to take care of oneself adds to the stress of recovery for both parent and child.

The slow pace of I AM THE CAGE made reading more like a chore than a pleasure. For example, the excruciating minutiae of plays during the game of Uno felt like page filler.

Two stars is a stretch rating for me. Had I AM THE CAGE not been an ARC, I’d have DNF and one-starred it.

This is a really deep story about one girl’s life. Her inner life. A major event in her childhood caused physical and emotional pain. This story is how she finally comes to terms with it. I think it’s a comment on how we are all broken and how it is ok, and how it develops our personality. Plus it takes place in Fish Creek, Wisconsin. One of my favorite places in Door County. An excellent book.

This is a very moving story that caught me by surprise as I followed Elizabeth's journey of self acceptance and courage to speak up.

I Am the Cage centers around Elizabeth, a young woman dealing with several levels of PTSD, much related to horrific medical procedures and the huge (justifiable) distrust she has for pretty much all people, including her family. All she wants to do is move on, live on her own in an isolated cabin and be safe. But when a huge snow storm hits her isolated cabin, Elizabeth is challenged to not only rely on another person, the handsome and uber friendly town sheriff, but also confront her past and come to terms with what really happened.

This turned out to be moving but tough. I'm not good with gory medical descriptions so--wow. But I found the descriptions of Elizabeth's ordeal so informative and necessary. It was heartbreaking to follow everything being done to her by careless and deeply-in-denial adults in order to "fix" her. Allison Sweet Grant gives such a strong example of what often happens to kids and young people when they don't have true autonomy and have parents that "mean well" but are sooooo misguided and blind to what they are actually doing and saying. There were times I wanted to climb into the pages and punch her mom.

Elizabeth is hurt and broken for justifiable reasons but there is also a willingness to process that is slowly revealed with every page turn. Her determination to want to forget but also kind of confront it all is so relatable. It was nice to see her open up with a stranger, which is usually what happens when we've been hurt by those closest to us. Sometimes it takes someone completely unrelated to help open that locked vault of emotion--and in this case it's an adorable boy next door.

Some things I struggled with: It was hard tracking the timeline and Elizabeth's age for most of the book. There were times I had to flip back to early pages to double check her age. This made it more confusing to understand other character's ages because she was comparing them to her own age--an age that isn't mentioned until way into the story after we meet those characters. There are also some character relationships that are supposed to be really strong although we don't really get to know more about them or even see that through out the story which threw me off when they were suddenly revealed at the end.

Final thoughts--this was a powerful and necessary read but her age, timeline and character relationships could be made a little clearer. But I stand by this being a necessary read because it opens up strong conversations about disability and what it feels like to be betrayed by those closest to you.

Unfortunately, I did not personally enjoy this book and as a result, will not be posting reviews on major public sites for it.

I had high hopes for this book. The title alone grabbed my attention before even reading the summary.

In my reading experience, the story itself and the characters were missing grip and depth. It was very slow moving and with very little reward. There was nothing happening in the plot to keep me wanting to come back for more. The writing style was telling me what was happening without showing me, and I think that’s part of why I found myself much less engaged with it than others.

I hope this story touches other people who read it - it simply did not resonate with me.

Wow, what an incredible book! Elisabeth has been healing from a medical trauma since she was eleven, and now that she’s older her mind keeps telling her I don’t need anybody and I want to be alone. Her best friend talked her into moving away and now Elisabeth lives alone near a small town down the road from a young sheriff. When the power goes out and she runs out of wood the sheriff, Noah, finds her outside and rescues her. They begin to slowly spend time together. She doesn’t want to tell him she’s basically trying to survive and running from demons instead of facing them. She feels pain in her heart and soul and has written many poems trying to help the loneliness and emptiness. When her mother unexpectedly shows up, Elisabeth tells her I feel betrayed by what you let happen to me when I was younger. Can her mom and Elisabeth fix their relationship? Will there be a future for Elisabeth and Noah?
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the eARC of this book. All opinions are my own.