I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for giving me an advanced copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

This book made me anxious and angry at the same time. I could only read almost half of it because I felt it having a detrimental affect on my mental health. I am gay and catholic so I went through similar by my mum. I just don’t understand why people believe that our sexuality can be changed by going to therapy. It’s more about their issues and beliefs. I don’t understand how people can go though this and not left damaged for life. Furthermore, how these people can think this sort of treatment “pray away the gay” actually works, We are who we are not who we sleep with. It’s a hard thing to admit to yourself that you are gay so the fact that is not understood it’s their issues and not the family’s.

This was such a good yet painful read. I constantly see people talk about the dangers (or, if they are of a certain persuasion, the benefits) of conversion therapy but I very rarely hear the stories of people who actually experienced it.

This was a collection of 18 essays of different individual’s experiences with conversion therapy. This “therapy” takes place in pastor’s offices, camps, clinics, at home, or even within their own heads. Survivors work through their “same-sex attraction” and “gender confusion” with talk therapy, aversion therapy, different online programs, electroshock therapy, celibacy, having relationships with individuals who help “prove” they are cured, and even exorcisms.

Shame-Sex Attraction is a truly heartbreaking collection of real survivors’ stories. It shows how religion and familial bonds can be used to our own detriment and the detriment of those around us.

I struggle to rate memoirs/autobiography type books because this is someone’s story and I don’t want to feel like I’m rating their own life based on how much I liked it. Most of the stories here were older, I would have liked to see some more from “our day.” Reading experiences from the 1970’s-2000’s was enlightening to be sure, but seeing some with the perspective of today would have also been impactful.

I loved that the author, Lucas Wilson, acknowledged the shortcomings of this book, namely that the majority of these stories had religious contexts, chiefly Christian, and didn’t have stories from other groups that would have made it more well rounded.

As someone who loves happily ever afters I also would have liked to have a bit more of an “ending” to some of these stories. I understand that not everyone has a happy ending and sometimes it’s just a conclusion, but some of these essays were so open ended I was left chomping at the bit for more. The introduction described the authors of these essays as not only survivors, but *thriving* survivors. In my state of eternal optimism I would have liked to have more. The end of the book does have the authors’ biographies to show a little “where are they now” but I selfishly want more haha

Shame-Sex Attraction is a phenomenal book that sheds light on real survivor’s stories and experiences with different forms of conversion therapy, it’s a tough read that I don’t know if I would recommend it to everyone, but I definitely think many should read it.

"In every telling, shame claims the staring role"

This was heartbreaking and so informative. I really think everyone should read if not all then at least one of these mini-essays at some point, honestly they were devastating to read especially knowing that these are only a handful of stories from people who suffered the same.

It's especially heartbreaking that so many people actually did want to change, they really believed the way they felt was worn and my heart aches to know that some of them only accepted the way they are decades later. And the fact that despite being banned (conversion therapy) it still exists to some degree honestly its heartbreaking.

I love that the title is a play on words its very fitting with the content in the book I really hope people read this book and learn from it in some capacity.

Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the Arc.

This important collection was difficult to get through but it's an important work. We need to spread awareness about how horrid these practices are.

There are so many important voices in this book that I don't believe mine needs to be involved so I'm simply going to let this eye-opening book speak for itself. There are so many quotes and extracts I could pull to try to explain the pain and self-doubt each one of these people and countless others went through and continue to, but then I would just want to write it all out.

This collection of eighteen essays shines a much-needed light on the past and present acts of Conversion Therapy/Practices. "...because no one believed me when I told them that conversion therapy still existed. Conversion therapy is the psudo-medical practice of attempting to change a person's sexual orientation and gender identity to heterosexual or cisgender."

Such practices pushed young vulnerable people to harm themselves "I lay on the concrete floor of our basement because the book said that demons could come out (during an exorcism) as a slimy substance and I didn't want to ruin the carpet in my bedroom"
"Burning yourself by heating up a quarter with a lighter and pressing into your skin is an easy way to correct yourself after impure thoughts"

Thankfully many of these practices have been banned but some still persist. I do not pretend to know even the surface of what these people have gone through but I found this book to be a start in challenging my own naivety.
So I leave you with this last quote from G Hickey (they/them), a human rights advocate and author of one of the essays. Their parting words at the 2021 Bill C-4 press conference in Canada:
"To young people everywhere, you can beat the statistics as well as the odds, just like I did. You have a fundamental human right to be who you are. Once you learn how to love yourself, the rest is history. Take it from me.
And to the ones who have not lived to see this day, we honour your memory today and every day."

Wow. This was powerful. You really get a much needed look at the reality of conversation Therapy, as a lot of people only know the basics of what it is. It's really educational to see all of the different ways that it can take, and how it affects the individuals willingly or unwillingly participating.

Shame-Sex Attraction is a collection of essays from survivors of conversion practices. As a collection of essays from different authors, each author takes a different approach in how they recount their own history with conversion practices. The authors come from different religious, geographic, and ethnic backgrounds demonstrating the far-reaching nature of conversion practices. That being said, the afterword acknowledges the limitations of this collection related to representation of the broad spectrum of conversion practices globally and especially in non-religious contexts which is only present in one author’s essay.

Overall, I would recommend this book to others. It gives a different perspective on what conversion practices can beyond what’s typically thought of when someone thinks of “conversion therapy.” Like the author wrote in the introduction, recognizing what these practices are is essential to stopping them. I also found that the lack of a neat bow on the essays drives home the reality of it all. Life chapters aren’t always wrapped up in a digestible, easy to summarize fashion and it’s constantly ongoing which is inspiring in itself.

Shame Sex Attraction chronicles 17 stories of those who underwent some form of conversion therapy. Conversion therapy aims to ‘cure’ those on the queer spectrum and turn them into cisgender or straight men and women. This practice is still ongoing, much of it affecting vulnerable and mouldable teenagers.

The editor starts with some very interesting, yet disturbing facts about the statistics of conversion therapy across the globe. This led me to research a little more into my own country's policies around the practice.

I appreciated that it was disclaimed that the stories would not have much of an ending. If this was left out, I would have been a lot more disappointed in the overall work through the book. Most of the stories are left open ended and ambiguous. Almost like little scenes from their lives. Normally that would be really frustrating to me.

The stories were crafted and edited really well. Most of the stories sat at4 stars for me, however there were some that reached 5-6 stars.

The major theme that was through most of the book was that these therapies were being used mainly on teenagers, ranging from 13-19. There were some stories where they were older, but most of them were in that teenage range. It made me angry to think that these practices were used at such a young, vulnerable, and impressionable age range.

The Book was unique in chronicling the stories of 17 people who underwent conversion therapy of some kind. While most came from religious institutions, some did not, which was an interesting change.Most of the experiences were from some time ago, and I think the book would have benefited from not only more current experiences, but a wider demographic of people.

I would absolutely recommend this book. However, if the reader has been affected by such practices, then speaking to a therapist before/throughout the reading experience may be wise. There is some very triggering subject matter here. Overall I have given this book 4 stars!

Thank you to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an Advanced Readers Copy (ARC) of this book. All opinions are my own.

First of all, thank you NetGalley for the Arc.

Shame-sex attraction is a collection of several essays written by conversion-therapy survivors. As mentioned by another reviewer giving a punctuation to heavy yet very real experiences is hard, even more when it is about a topic that affects you in some way.

The author themselves has also led me to a rabbit hole of sources and studies. The note in the acknowledgements regarding the lack of poc, two spirit, non-christian and non anglo representation maybe should have been put in the introduction. It is a good thing it was there nonetheless. I do hope the publication of this book does encourage more survivors to open up about their experiences.

Personally I will recommend this book to anyone with eyeballs

Heartbreaking. Shame-sex attraction is a truly raw image of what conversion theraphy can do to a person.

Each story is unique and important, each experience valid and, most importantly, shows a much needed POV of a survivor. Every chapter depics someone's personal experience when it comes to the horrible practice of conversion theraphy and sheds like on topics such as shame, religious trauma, mental illness, abuse.

Most stories are from the older times, some mention time after 2010s, however, I really wish there were more from "these days", though I understand that it's harder to acquire such fresh testimonies as most people in (now much restricted) coversion theraphy places are teens. I do feel like this book survivors' stories are strong and gives hope to those who experienced something similar or just struggle to be themselves.

To this day, it shocks me that parents make their kids do conversion theraphy and try to guilt-trip them into believing that it's possible to change. The trauma that these parents make their kids go through is devastating: so many survivors see no other way out from "being sinful" than suicide. I often wonder if it's the lack of education, shame of having a kid who identifies as part LGBTQ+, deep rooted religious beliefs or the combination of them all that make parents hurt their children by sending them off to this so-called theraphy.

An important book that I hope opens some eyes. It was painful to read, but I'm thankful that I got the chance to read this.

A fascinating and at times heartbreaking insight into the abomination that is conversion therapy! Thank you for this advanced reader copy

This book is very sad, and very eye opening. These survivors are amazing and brave for putting their stories and experiences out there. As an ally my heart goes out to them. We need more books like this to truly educate the world! Thank you to Netgally and the publisher for the ARC of this book!

This book taught me the evils of conversion "therapy". It's awful what these people went through. I hope this book reaches many people. It's important these stories reach as many people as possible. I can't say that I enjoyed the book due to its subject. But, I am glad that i have been informed. 4 stars

I am a queer person. I want to begin by saying that. And as a queer person, raised in a southern evangelical household, in the rollover of the panic surrounding the AIDS crisis, I know all about conversion therapy. I've read and watched Boy Erased. I've watched The Miseducation of Cameron Post and Pray Away. I've analyzed artistic interpretations of queer trauma through the lens of horror in They/Them.

I thought this essay collection was lacking. I understand that just telling your story of your experience is important. But in the introduction and the foreward, we were promised that we'd read the experience and also how the people overcome their experience. We read a lot of the traumatic experience, but we didn't really get much of the overcoming. We didn't see much of the "this is how I'm doing now. How I'm handling the mess that came from being subjected to abuse. This is how I've healed, how I'm healing, how I'm learning to embrace queer joy."

I understand the importance of bearing witness to the experiences of our queer and trans siblings. I do think, though, that if we're subjected to having to experience trauma for our identities, then we should also center some experiences of queer healing. Essays that outline "this horrible thing happened to me, and this is how I've fought to make sure that that experience does not consume me. This is how I've worked towards healing. This is the joy I celebrate now."

I got this as an arc on Netgalley and it will come out in January. Extremely important book. The survivor stories of those who experienced conversion therapy were heartwrenching. The afterword explained that the book lacks a lot of the inclusion they were aiming for, so I hope this book is just the beginning. Those survivors who want to tell their stories deserve a platform.

Once again it feels weird rating this book.

This was a beautiful book that explored a lot of pain.

I won't say more because I feel this is very personal book to all who will read it!

This collection of stories was simultaneously eye-opening and heartbreaking. Hearing that these people were raised to believe (and often told time and again) that they are abominations that need to change the very essence of who they are in order to be accepted makes me feel so sick and sad and angry. Nobody, especially no child, should ever be made to feel that way.

It seems like the authors of these stories have found some peace in their lives, and I wish that for any reader who feels the same way. You are perfect as you are!

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

This 3 star read is a series of eighteen essays written by those subjected to conversion therapy, the false doctrine that is in no way connected to anything scientific which says a LGBT person can make him/herself straight. Let’s pray the gay away, y’all!

The writers have had these sometimes horrific, always futile experiences in “a clinic, a pastor’s office, a camp, a private university, around a dining room table, inside [their] head.” And methods include (think of the people of Salem trying to get women to admit that they are witches) “talk-therapy counseling, “support” groups and camps, transphobic healthcare practices, “corrective” prayer, forced celibacy, coerced sexual relations or relationships, behavioral suppression and “correction,” aversion therapy, electroshock therapy, online programs and, everyone’s favorite, exorcisms.” (The “everyone’s favorite” might have been me.)

The stories are so disheartening and sad, because almost to a person, every one of the people subjected to these therapies sincerely wanted to change, generally because they were taught, by their religion, that being gay was a terrible sin and they would burn in hell for loving who they loved. The religions? Typically fundamentalist or Pentecostal with a smattering of Catholics, one Orthodox Jew and one person raised up in an odd cult.

The horrible Bill Gothard (of Duggar fame) makes an appearance as does the odious Exodus International, an organization which maintains it’s not enough to remain homosexual and celibate, one must actual change one’s sexual or gender identity. If you are gay, you must actually alter your thinking such that you become attracted to the opposite sex, marry and have children. Let me also tell you about the low, low long-term success rate for this. Oh, and about the self-loathing. And the suicides.

What did I take from this? First, if you want to be involved in a church, normal churches only, people. Look around. Do you ever hear anything good about fundamentalist churches? I do not. They seem to hate everyone who is not a part of the fundamentalist church. Doesn’t sound like what Jesus would have wanted.

The book is a little odd in that most of the writers seem to have gone through conversion therapy some time ago. The book would be stronger with more current examples. Hopefully this means the activity has fallen from favor, but looking at the number of people attending Trump rallies I have to assume it is still going on. Interesting.

This was a fabulous read though very painful. I keep thinking that these writers are so strong and brave to write about these experiences.
All the stories were nicely written and makes you think. It would make good horror stories. I really enjoyed it.