As a lover of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, I was both excited and hesitant to read Dr Jamea's work. I loved the way she laid this book out. It's super accessible to any reader and gives very actionable steps to how to improve your sex life. She does a great job voicing the audiobook. I liked it so much I bought a hard copy the moment I finished the audio.

Anatomy of Desire by Dr. Emily Jamea offers a thoughtful and accessible approach to reigniting passion and enhancing sexual satisfaction in relationships. Drawing on her expertise as a sex and relationship therapist, Dr. Jamea identifies five key elements—sensuality, curiosity, adaptability, vulnerability, and attunement—that can help individuals and couples transform their sexual lives. The integration of the science of "flow state" provides a unique and research-backed perspective that makes the book both practical and insightful. While the content is insightful and empowering, some readers may find the advice a bit repetitive or basic, especially for those already familiar with relationship or sexuality topics. Overall, it's a valuable resource for anyone looking to deepen intimacy and reconnect with their desires, making it a solid 4-star read.

One of the standout aspects of Anatomy of Desire, narrated by Dr. Emily Jamea is how well researched it is. I found the citations and references to be insightful as I listened. Additionally, Dr. Jamea’s narration was excellent as she shared patient scenarios and examples that were applicable. This is definitely a useful book for those who wish to deepen their relationship with their partner and understand themselves.
Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio. All opinions are my own.

Anatomy of Desire tackles common problems that couples face in their sex lives and offers not only the science behind why we struggle, but practical advice for overcoming the challenges you and your partner are experiencing. My one criticism here is that there is not a lot of advice for people who are single, casually dating, or in queer relationships. While most advice is equally applicable to all types of relationships, the main couples discussed were heterosexual.

Mixed feelings on this one! 2.75 stars rounded up. In the introduction I learned that I am literally not the target audience. Apparently this book is not for you if: you have a baby under 1 year old, you’re neurodivergent, or you have trauma. Oops. Checked all 3 boxes over here! Who is this book for?! She also warns you that the book is very hetero but her tips should work for queer couples too.

So here’s…

The Bad
-this could’ve been an article or a podcast. It really doesn’t feel like there’s enough substance for an entire book.
-her research is one study (seemingly a survey?) she did herself. I don’t think it was peer reviewed or anything. It’s interesting, but certainly not definitive.
-the clients she works with are affluent people in Houston who I didn’t find relatable.
-she intersperses literary quotes throughout in ways that felt dumb and like a stretch
-her entire thesis is that sex requires you to get into a flow state; she uses a researcher’s core parts of flow and relates them all back to sex. Cool, but some of them seem forced/like a stretch.
-At one point she rambles about the importance of forgiveness and uses the example of a woman who had a miscarriage needing to forgive her husband for being distant while she grieved in order to be able to enjoy sex with him again. Gross 🥴
-her tone while reading the audiobook gave me the ick. It was very grating and annoying.

The Good
-she does make a lot of legitimately good points about having new experiences with your partner, how your partner can’t be everything to you, the need to be adaptable, the value of planned sex, etc.
-while I’m not sure how qualified she was to talk about attachment, I did find the section on how your attachment style impacts how you show up during sex pretty fascinating.

This book might be for you and you might be able to find some good kernels of insight! But maybe get it from the library, at least if you’re not in her target demo but still curious.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This book has been another great realization that I can truly love non-fiction books.
I had a lot of points in here that I will take away and will stay with me for a long time.

I also really appreciate the narration.

Thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the audiobook ARC!

In Anatomy of Desire, Dr Emily Jamea offers practical advice, perspective, words of wisdom for a modern generation. As a wife, mother, and professional, she speaks to and connects with a broad audience. Just about everyone should be able to glean some tidbits of helpful information from this book.

For readers who loved Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski I would also recommend Anatomy of Desire. Written in an approachable way that a lot of couples will relate to I will definitely use the information provided by Dr. Jamea in my long relationship.

I picked this up because I am always looking to better myself and my relationship. This is the perfect book for anyone interested in their sexuality and exploring all the possibilities of making sex better. You don't need to be struggling either to soak up everything this book has to offer. I love the author's breakdown of chapters and the real life examples she uses to show the exercises that can help you and your relationships. I feel like there is a lot in this book that you can also use for struggles outside of the bedroom. Defiinitely looking forward to sharing something with my partner and I would love to add this book to my collection to refer to later in life.

This was interesting and sensible. Reminders on how to keep a healthy mindset to have a fulfilling sex life. I feel like I’m always in the honeymoon state with my lover even after 4 years, it’s incredible everytime. That may be because of our circumstances but still I’m always amazed at how wonderful it is everytime. This book helped me recognize things that I do already without realizing I did them or how helpful those little things are in my sex life. This book is more for long term monogamous couples.

Great book! It had a great discussion that portrayed desire and relationships to the concept of flow by Csikszentmihalyi. I enjoyed how the author brought up this perspective of viewing relationships through the lense of flow and gave 5 ways for couples to flow together and connect in the busy and modern world.

It was great to have different life scenarios connected to the cases. Totally recommend reading this book as it’s value added for making sure you don’t lose passion in your relationship as life goes on.

I listened to the audiobook and really enjoyed the narration!