Thank you to NetGalley and Dr. Kaufmann for an Advanced Reader's Copy of this title!

"Drugs, Lies, and Docs" is a moving memoir of the author's descent into addiction and the claw-by-claw battle out to the realm recovery, as framed through a presentation to Canadian medical students. Alternating between his chronological path through childhood, medical school, medical practice, and recovery, and his bird's eye view as an addiction specialist in the future, this memoir gently walks the reader through the good, the bad, and the ugly of addiction and recovery, sparing no feelings and making no excuses.

As a medical student, this memoir was especially poignant - medical professionals, and doctors in particular, are held to incredibly high standards personally and professionally, and we are constantly warned at all levels of training about the dangers of addiction and poor mental health (mandatory wellness modules, anyone?). Despite this emphasis I feel like there is still a huge stigma around talking about the warning signs and what to do when you encounter a physician in the throes of illness, and the mindset that would lead someone down this path in the first place. The mental gymnastics around addiction, recovery, and self-worth/self-image as a physician are explored in depth here, and I think could be really helpful for students, trainees, and practitioners to hopefully catch patterns in themselves and others.

This book was an excellent read for anyone, but especially healthcare professionals and those that love them, and for those who have faced or are curious about the cost addiction wrings from our lives. Addiction is complex, disheartening, and aching, but not insurmountable as long as you're willing to reach out your hand.

Thank you to NetGalley and Life to Paper publishing for providing a copy for review. All opinions are my own.

Drugs, lies and docs is Michael Kauffman's deeply personal memoir that takes the reader from a journey into the world of someone struggling with addiction and recovery and how that affects those close to them in their lives; both family and colleagues.

Throughout the memoir, Kauffman does not shy away from exploring and discussing all aspects of addiction and the highs and lows of recovery. From having the strength to walk away from temptation after his drug of choice is prescribed to him, to describing the euphoric feeling he felt when he got a taste of it after years of sobriety. His insight into addiction is profound.

"When we tell our stories, we are not alone. We join - we heal."

I almost feel bad for rating a memoir so honestly raw and vulnerable so low but unfortunately I had some issues.

The memoir is initially framed as a talk he is giving to medical students about addiction in doctors. However, the author seems to often forget about this framing device at multiple instances throughout the book making it feel disjointed and messy. As a result some sections felt like a chore to get through.

My other main issue is some of the language used by the author. Being born in 1953 the author went through medical school in the late 60s and 70s. He makes an observation regarding the differences in his graduating class Vs a modern graduating class in terms of diversity. However, the language used comes across as borderline racist and misogynistic. This isn't something I tolerate in anyone no matter your title.

Eye-opening account of a physician who conquered addiction, and came out the other side to help other doctors recover. Interesting perspective and realization on why it is so common for doctors to have substance use disorders.