Lydia Sohn's book Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving presents good food for thought and reflection. We're so often in motion, planning our next goal or acquisition, looking for the next thing that convinces us that it'll make us happy and content, busy with activities and plans, that we seldom stop to enjoy the moment and feel the joy and contentment of being where we are and what we already have. Here.

Based on the Benedectine tenet of stability, this book asks us to consider that while the desire to move on to something new and exciting may be valid, it can also stand in the way of realizing that wherever you go, you are there, and that the real source of your discontent may lie within yourself and not your circumstances. That there can be immense value in staying where you are and looking for ways to change yourself rather than your location. However, the author is quick to state that if your circumstances put you in danger or at risk for harm, by all means go!

There is discussion of values-based living (motivated by internal rewards) versus goals-based living (motivated by external rewards), references to studies on happiness, contentment, the value of community and commitment, and reflections/stories from the author's life experiences, both personal, and as a United Methodist minister. Each chapter is followed by Questions for Reflection to help you think about how the chapter topic relates to your own situation.

I found this an interesting read and recommend it highly.

My thanks to Convergent Books for allowing me to access a digital review copy of the book via NetGalley. Publication is 2/25/25. All opinions stated in this review are my own and are freely given.

"Here" by Lydia Sohn is about what it means to stay put instead of always running away to greener pastures and new experiences. It's thoughtfully structured and well-written. I found it to be refreshing and thought-provoking to go through. In this very individualistic culture where everyone seems to have FOMO, craves constantly changing landscapes in life, and is always running from new thing to new thing, this book gently and lovingly challenges the reader to consider the hidden gifts of staying put long enough to see the hidden beauty of stability emerge. I loved this book. Thank you to the author and publisher for the opportunity to read this advance readers copy in exchange for an honest review.

Pastor Lydia Sohn's reflective writings in Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving gives the reader not only a personal glimpse into her life and culture, but also sheds light on a topic of staying instead of leaving. So much of our society today tends to leave, whether this is a job, where you live, relationships, religions, or other facet of life. The "grass is greener on the other side" mentality is rampant in our society and cultures today. But Lydia challenges the reader to look at the other side and reflectively ask what it would look like to stay. Taking her studies and practices from the Benedictine practice of stability and being present, Lydia challenges the reader to look within and be aware of the intricacies of life through our senses, being fully immersed in God's goodness and His blessings to us. Contentment is essential. Being able to recognize when to stay and when to leave are also areas Lydia's book envelops, and she does a wonderful job validating those who have suffered trauma or are enduring a difficult situation, that in some circumstances, it is best to leave. The book is well-rounded and gives emphasis on the stability and contentment component of the Benedictines, while also giving light to those who need to flee, for their safety and their health. The appendix and resources at the back of the book are wonderful and full of great content, and each chapter ends with a reflective questioning section, allowing the reader to dig deeper into the concept of staying. Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent books for the ARC of this book. All opinions are my own.

This book gave me security. I have been with my husband 20 years, lived in the same house for 17 years, and had the same job for 15 years. We want to move 15 hours away. This book came at a perfect time for me to reflect and pray in a new way about the dreams in my family’s heart. Reverend Sohn talked about being an oak. Through reflection and prayer, God showed me the times that he has made me a palm tree. It’s funny because I have oak trees in my yard while Rev. Sohn has palm trees. This is a wonderful book and I enjoyed her insights that I will continue to use in my prayer time.

This makes for a wonderful memoir—rich, candid, and warm stories. Honestly, at times would forget the theme of the book because the stories were on the lengthier side and Pastor Sohn didn't always speak directly to why she was sharing them, and some lessons wrapped a bit abruptly without clear interpretation on how she accepted the resolutions she describes. Because of this, I wasn't sure if the target was more for this to be a memoir or practical theology. But regardless, I did enjoy the peek into her life and at many points I paused to consider my own habits of leaving difficult situations prematurely.

There's a lot of books about leaving, this is a first that I've seen about staying.

"The lot you find yourself in right now is a mixture of what you've chosen and what you've been given. No matter, receive it. Tend to it, nurture it, be grateful for it. Quit looking at other lots. God will meet you in your own." - Chapter 2

This book gently guides the reader to consider staying when they feel like leaving. I think the most helpful section was in chapter 4 where she outlines some practical ways to reframe your thinking around the feelings of wanting to leave. This book doesn't ignore the tough situations we might find ourselves, rather it gives the reader freedom to consider deeply what the practice of staying might actually offer. Topics like restlessness, questioning, finding home, perseverance, vision, and values are covered in this book. I am reading this book along side of Emily P Freeman's book "How to Walk into a Room" and I think they go together perfectly. There's a gorgeous tension in discerning your right step and knowing whether it hurts because it's bad or if it hurts because it's hard. I highly recommend this book to anyone thinking about leaving--a job, a relationship, a place, etc.

*I was given an advanced copy of this book in exchange for honest review.*

Are you happy with your relationships? Are you happy with your job? Are you happy in your home? Are you happy with your friends?

Or are you getting that itch? Maybe a different partner would be better. Maybe it's time to try to move up in the world. Maybe a different city would offer a better life.

With "Here: A Spirituality of Staying in a Culture of Leaving," author Lydia Sohn explores this culture where leaving, moving up, moving on, and moving over have become the things to do and where the idea of staying, working to be content, is considered rather antiquated.

Often using her own life story as examples, at times to the book's detriment, Sohn weaves in a variety of spiritual truths to encourage us to embrace the life that we're living and the world that we have before us.

We are blessed in the here and now and Sohn's gentle guidance encourages us to consciously choose staying when many others might choose leaving. It's an approach influenced by Benedictine beliefs and practices and, for Sohn, an approach that has Ms. Sohn encourages us to stop, take a step back, look closely at how blessed we truly are and enjoy the "here" that we have been given.

I've wrestled with how to review a book that offers gentle, valuable wisdom while also serving up lots of the red flags borne out of a life of trauma. There's no denying that Sohn's embrace of recognizing the value of staying and of realizing that our desire to reinvent often comes from issues that follow us along each journey is a valuable, meaningful embrace and an embrace that has served her well. While I couldn't help but feel like Sohn came from a bit of a place of privilege, "Here" is a reminder that the desire to leave is a universal desire regardless of our backgrounds, our economics, our ethnicities, and/or our spiritual beliefs. We all struggle with it in a myriad of ways.

Sohn hints at those who have no choice but to stay. She also hints at those who have obstacles to leaving, however, what I really longed for with "Here" was some discussion around those who've experienced trauma - domestic violence victims/survivors, abuse survivors, sexual assault survivors, war survivors, and even those, like myself, with disabilities. This "stay" spirituality has been used as a weapon throughout history and I longed for "Here" to recognize that weaponry and to speak against it.

In short, while I think "Here" is valuable for those drawn to the allure of nomadism and trying to move against it, I'm not sure I'd recommend it for those with trauma backgrounds who are struggling with leave/stay, guilt over leaving, guilt over staying, confusion about remaking one's life, and attempting to rediscover and redefine the world in which they live.

I can't help but feel that I'm being hypercritical of "Here." That's not my intent. However, as someone who grew up in an abusive cycle and who has experienced significant traumas, I can't help but long for "stay" teachings that emphasize "stay where God calls you" or "stay where you're safe" or "leave if you're unsafe" or any other myriad of teachings that emphasize we're all made in God's image and deserve to live in a place that reflects that. Sohn begins to address these concerns briefly, however, a deep dive into this issue, even one chapter, could have allowed "Here" to add tremendous depth and meaning to an even broader audience.

That said, personal concerns aside, "Here" is a meaningful exploration of what it means to commit to our lives and to embrace stability in our seemingly constant search for contentment.

"Here" is written in a conversational tone with a straightforward message -- appreciate your life and be grateful. Recommended for fans of Christian books and simplicity in story-telling. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Pub Date: February 25, 2025

#Here

Here, the latest book by Lydia Sohn, addresses the age-old conundrum of not being completely happy in the here and now, nor with your current surroundings, whether it be at home, work or community. Ms. Sohn does her best to encourage the reader to take a biblically based approach to loving your one great life, and hopefully, for many it will help. With the age of social media (ie. Instagram, Tik-Tok, and Pinterest, to name a few) society is obsessed with having the best of everything and showing the world how impressive and exceptional we are. Ms. Sohn encourages us to stop, take a step back, look closely at how blessed we truly are and enjoy the "here" that we have been given.

Interesting exploration of the inner tug-of-war between discontent and remaining "placed" somewhere. Lots to think about here...

(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

I appreciated how the author wove stories from her own life into the book, but the formatting felt a bit disorganized. The author frequently jumped from one topic to the next with very few transitions between sections, making me feel like the thesis of the book was lost from time to time. The author’s voice is much like a friend, so some readers may get more out of it than I did, but I couldn’t quite get over the editing.