Memoirs are so subjective so it's tough to give a "rating". I will say though that this is dark humor done right. Sosenko balances cynicism with surprising vulnerability in this collection that feels like an unhinged group chat you didn’t know you needed. Some essays hit harder than others, but overall, I found it cathartic and weirdly empowering. A chaotic good kind of read.

I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin by Carla Sosenko works better as an intriguing look into another person’s life more than a work of self-reflective advocacy.

This memoir seems to exist because Sosenko wanted to write about her life. That’s not a bad reason to write a memoir, but it doesn’t quite fit with the book’s marketing as a woman’s quest to “find freedom and joy” in an unconventional body. Sosenko’s relationship to her body does play a sizable role in the book, but a lot of the memoir is about other aspects of her life. The book jumps around to different times and topics with little organization. Buzzfeed-like lists make a frequent appearance. I would normally be more annoyed by these stylistic and organizational choices, but they make sense given that Sosenko is a lifestyle journalist with ADHD. I think it’s important that people go into this book with the correct expectations, however, and realize that it may not be the linear memoir of disability and body image that it’s advertised to be.

Sosenko’s writing is accessible and engaging, although at times it’s not quite clear what the reader is supposed to get out of her reflections. She makes a lot of good (if unoriginal) points about disability and diet culture and fatphobia in a manner that is sharp but also shallow. Other reviewers have described her observations as performative, an assessment that I somewhat agree with. She’s clearly been through a lot and done a lot of work in therapy to get to a better place with herself and her mental health, and her accomplishments are impressive. She’s witty and charming and her book will probably resonate with a lot of readers. However, I think this work unintentionally reveals the large amount of work she has left to do. Her acknowledgements of her privileges—especially in regard to her unchecked shopping addiction—appear perfunctory. She claims to grasp the problems with her behavior and thinking but her defensive tone suggests that she doesn’t quite believe it. Furthermore, despite her insistence on compassion and solidarity, she occasionally lets slip a casually cruel assessment of other people, particularly other women, that belie her message of acceptance and solidarity.

I don’t expect memoir writers to be saints or be figureheads for their respective causes, but they should possess enough measured self-reflection to understand how their message will come across to the world. I think this could be a decent first exposure to some basic ideas of disability advocacy and body acceptance for upper-class white women who can relate to Sosenko’s insecurities and life experiences. But I’ll Look So Good in a Coffin is too messy, shallow, and self-indulgent for me to recommend it as a work of advocacy for feminism/disability activism/body acceptance. That said, Sosenko is so willing to share details of her life and writes with such an engaging accessibility that it can still be a diverting reading experience.


Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to the publisher for an eARC of this book to read and review- I did end up listening to the audio since it was read by the author.

While memoirs are not my normal book that I gravitate to, this was such a reflective one that had me laughing and reflecting on how I feel about myself.

I feel weird reviewing another persons lived experience but I appreciated the candor that the author had/used while discussing her body, her feelings about her body, and her mental health. As a person with ADHD and GAD a lot of the thoughts/feelings she had about those resonated with me. I will forever call myself a "hobby slut" because I feel like it does encompass some of my experience with ADHD.

This book also made me think about society and how we treat people who look different than what social media tells us they should look like, and I am always happy to reflect on topics such as that.

I think that was a great read and I have already recommended it to some people.

Fairly solid essay collection that takes on disability and fatphobia and dealing with the reality of what your body is and how it can sometimes just feel like a fucking meatsack, but in a dark and demented sort of way where you can at least laugh your ass off while going "oh, mood".

This was a really well done memoir and had that element that I was wanting from the description. The overall concept was engaging and was able to keep the reader engaged with what was happening. I appreciated Carla Sosenko sharing their story and how it was told.

Sosenko's memoir was interesting, though not what I anticipated. There are many humorous stories about her upbringing in New York, anecdotes about dating and relationships, and a strong sense of her birth family and her place in it. She does address her disability and the impact it has had on the people she was/is in close relationships, and odd, even overtly rude, exchanges with strangers. Still, I was often left feeling like she skimmed the surface - as though I knew what happened but didn't have a deeper sense of her reactions and feelings about major life events. Sosenko's focus often seems to be on finding a witty punchline rather than deep introspection. None of this is to say that it is a bad or unenjoyable book, just one I had very different expectations of - perhaps if I'd started the book expecting more levity and humor, I would have enjoyed it more.

A quick, darkly funny, and painstakingly honest memoir about what it’s like to live with a physical deformity and, at its very core, live as a woman in an urban centre throughout periods of immense societal change and scrutiny.

I do think that I need to start reading the memoirs of people from similar backgrounds as myself again to curb my existential distaste towards members of the upper class, but Sosenko was, at the very least, forthcoming about her privilege.

I appreciated this memoir and Sosenko is certainly funny, it just wasn't what I needed in the moment I read it. That being said, I can see how this could become someone's favorite book, it just wasn't completely for me.

A raw, insightful, often hilarious memoir about one womans experience living with a deformity and her journey to self-love and acceptance.
I love a memoir, especially one where I can read something that makes me feel enlightened or enriched in some way, and I'll Look So Hot In A Coffin definitely did that. I wasn't familiar with Carla before reading her book, but honestly, she's like a breath of fresh air.

Carla lives with Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome, something I knew little about before and spent a long time hiding away, receiving surgery at only eight years old and wondering how she was ever going to be accepted into a society that places so much emphasis on the way we look. She examines diet culture and fat phobia, and her journey with both living with a difference and her journey with her body in a completely candid way and as a plus size woman who's also been victim to diet culture there were so many parts I related to and it's refreshing to see someone talk about this honestly.
Ultimately, this book is a celebration of womanhood and, yes, our differences but also what unites us and the battles we face regarding self-image and mental health.
Warm, funny, and easy to read but also incredibly emotional and tender. I absolutely loved this book, and although I don't like to review someone's life story essentially because, actually, who am I to comment! I'd highly recommend this one.

Thank you Random Publishing House and NetGalley for an ARC of this book.

Carla Sosenko’s memoir is a vulnerable, honest reflection into her ongoing journey of life. Carla has Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome which results in a less conventional body shape. I had not heard of this syndrome so I was interested to learn more.
The memoir contained lots of honesty regarding the struggles Carla faces, and is laced with a good dose of sarcasm throughout the pages.

I enjoyed reading Carla’s ongoing journey.

5 stars! I picked this book in large part because of the title and boy am I glad!!! I so thoroughly enjoyed, more than I could have guessed. I thought the mix of memoir and "self-help" was great and I found myself empathetic for Carla but even more so, for myself and all women. The more specific a book is, the more universal and that rings true for this book - it was specific to her experience but god so unbelievably relatable. I genuinely feel changed after reading it. The stories and the themes were big and important but also human and full of clever comedy. I would recommend this to everyone.

This was a beautiful memoir about one woman and her journey to accepting her body due to a deformity. Thank you to the publisher for a copy of this book! I don’t normally read memoirs so this isn’t a book that I would normally have picked up, but I’m so thankful I did!

Going on this journey with her author through her words was a remarkable experience. I felt so many emotions throughout and it was a beautiful memoir.

It was interesting to see the authors perspective of living with KT. I did feel there was a lot of privilege that came up, that is acknowledged but it was a bit annoying.

This was a really interesting essay collection! Some essays landed more than others, but I really appreciated when she explored the dichotomy of writing about her life publicly vs. what was really going on in her actual life and loved how honest she was about her body insecurities and explorations, medications, shopping addiction, etc.

I was immediately drawn to this book after reading the title. “I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin” is exactly my type of humor, and I had to know more. I went into this one completely blind (as I do a large portion of the time - I’m sorry but I tend to judge books by their titles AND covers 🙈) and I was not disappointed at all. While at times it was a bit hard to get through, and slightly triggering being in my 30s with body image struggles and everything else that goes along with being a woman, it was equally delightful. To find comfort in the only body you’ve ever had, the only one you ever will have is a beautiful thing. Thank you for your snark and your lovely words, Carla Sosenko! And thank you NetGalley and The Dial Press for an arc in exchange for an honest review.

Unfortunately, I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin didn’t work for me, and I ended up putting it down before finishing. While the premise—a brutally honest memoir about living with a rare medical condition—sounded intriguing and important, the execution felt uneven and hard to stay engaged with.

The tone often wavered between confessional and performative, which made it difficult to connect emotionally. There were moments where the humor felt forced or distracted from the depth of the subject matter, rather than enhancing it. I found myself struggling to follow the narrative thread or fully invest in the author's voice.

This may resonate more with readers looking for an unconventional memoir with a sharp edge, but it ultimately wasn’t the right fit for me.

My Selling Pitch:
Self helpy body positivity memoir, but it feels inauthentic because the author’s trying to give advice for a journey she’s clearly still on.

Pre-reading:
Good god, I love this cover. I'm in the midst of the worst body image/body dysmorphia spiral of my life, and I think this book may have found me at the perfect moment, even if it'll be a hard read.

(obviously potential spoilers from here on)
Thick of it:
Twilight reference

Men are so predominantly terrible to women it is UNREAL.

So I did Google the author and look at her Instagram. It does feel a little hypocritical to be like I’m not gonna change my body with medical devices anymore, but then she’s used ozempic enough to make art pieces out of it.

So I wouldn’t define that as a playful parent. I would define that as a parent more concerned with keeping up appearances than the backlash any unsavoriness necessary to maintain them generates. Ends and means and all that.

Wait, is she saying her parents fucked next to her hotel rooms because that’s beyond- Like that’s not a funny little aside. That’s insane and abusive and how are we just glossing over that???

It is very hard to sympathize with nepo baby has her rent paid. Cosmetic deformity or not.

… I don’t know if it’s a symptom of being a few years younger than her, but it really does just scream privileged white girl that she’s never considered other people also have it hard before. Like she’s kind of a walking stereotype.

I want to take Ozempic so badly🙃✌️(but that would mean going to the doctor and I pathologically cannot.)

You don’t want to have kids, but you froze your eggs. I want to like her because she’s attempting to be open and honest about her experience, but I find her so grating, and hypocritical, and manic. (And just the sheer amount of money she’s wasted. I am too much of a Capricorn for this.)

And I'm so bummed the fuck out. I don’t think this book is actually helping. I think it might be making me feel worse.

Ma'am, this is not the guy. Please.

Ma'am. You are 36. What hope is there for the rest of us if even 36 is getting fooled by the most textbook shitbag men.

MA’AM. Be so fucking for real. If your boyfriend is an incel sympathizer-STAND THE FUCK UP.

… I know, I know don’t victim blame, but also I will never be with a person who says things like that. It happens once, I am gone.

How is well, I wouldn’t do it to you acceptable? He would still do it to someone. How are you OK with that?

I feel like she’s still just in denial. I’m scared I won’t ever have it, so I don’t actually care about it anymore. And I’m just like girl, if you actually didn’t care you wouldn’t be exerting so much energy trying to convince us that you don’t care.

I know trauma isn’t a competition, but it does seem a lot of hers is just spoiled little rich girl, and I’m getting a little tired listening to it.

A Libra? Committing? Girl-

This reads more like a collection of essays than a proper memoir, and we’re doing so much time jumping, that I no longer know what age she is during any of these events. It doesn’t really matter though because she reads like a messy 20 something- a messy early 20 something the entire time!

I'm like so positive I have ADHD and autism at this point lmao. They done missed all of us and our mamas.

I want to be hidden. Let me publish an entire book about my life. It’s just not making sense, babe.

What do you mean you hope we’ll hate them too? Girl. Girl. It is nuts that you can claim to be a liberal feminist and not hate these men from the jump.

It does just feel a bit tone-deaf to be like I finally like myself after she’s gotten rid of the weight, you know? (And I know she tried to address this in a chapter, but I feel like she’s failing to consider whether or not she would still like herself at this age, with the tattoos, with whatever-if she hadn’t started weight loss injections? Would she still love herself like this if she got off the injections and gained the weight back?)

This feels like a homework assignment your therapist gave you that you realized you could sell and not like a book you actually wanted to write on your own.

It just feels so inauthentic, ma’am.

It feels like she’s desperately chanting I love my body now! See? But I don’t think any of us believe her, and not because she shouldn’t love her body, but just because the emotion doesn’t feel genuine in the way, she’s expressing it. It still feels performative and like she’s projecting. She’s like let me dole out this advice, and then I’m an authority on it. Then I’m gaining social currency again. If other people believe I’m morally superior, maybe I can start believing it too. Like it’s just not working for me.

Post-reading:
I’ll fully admit that I’m not in the best headspace right now, but I don’t think this book helped with my spiral. I think if anything, it sent me further down it. I think it’s really hard to be plus size in Ozempic times and keep reading everywhere you go that this is the solution and being fat is actually the worst thing your body can be, so omg, why aren’t you fixing it? Why are you doing literally anything else? Getting smaller should be your priority always! And I don’t think it’s helped by other fat women caving to pressure or genuinely wanting to take these weight loss injections and then preaching that people should love their bodies as they are! But also they definitely like theirs more now that they’re skinny, and it was in fact worth all the side effects. And like it’s really hard to resist that siren call to go on it! And then you’re like if I want to change THAT badly that I’m consumed by it, I clearly must hate my current body so so SO much. And this book didn’t help with that.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of it is common sense, I fear. It comes from an incredibly privileged standpoint. I don’t think it’s our job or right to gatekeep trauma or disability, but if you Google this author, she is very pretty, and has a successful career, and isn’t struggling for money. She has friends. She has family. She has a support system. It’s just hard to feel the amount of sympathy her victim complex is begging you for.

And it’s not that I feel no sympathy for her. She did not have it easy. The world is not fair. But if being ugly is your chief concern in life… I mean to use her own meme, Kim, there’s people dying. I think poor self-esteem is an incredibly difficult thing to live with, but she has access to therapy. She has the time and money to work on it. And she is working on it. I just don’t think she was ready to write a self-help style book on it.

It reminded me a lot of a sex science book that I read a year or two ago. (Laid and Confused, if you were curious.) That book came off as more of a memoir than a scientific, journalistic exploration. It was kind of like good start, bestie! Everyone interested in this subject matter that would pick up this book has already reached those conclusions, but please keep at it and maybe you’ll arrive at something new and valuable. I feel the same way about this book. If you’re picking up a book about body positivity, you have already had people try to jam it down your throat that you just need to radically accept yourself and you’ll reach enlightenment and start singing Kumbaya and never feel insecure again! This book doesn’t do anything different.

And with the amount of energy, this author is exerting trying to convince you that she’s accepted herself, I don’t think anyone’s gonna buy it. Her writing comes across as a bit disorganized and manic. I think the bipolar familial history and ADHD diagnosis are pretty evident in the structuring of this novel. We jump around from life event to life event as it suits each chapter’s narrative to the point that the author’s age and timeline get so hazy. It doesn’t feel like a cohesive retelling of her life. It feels like a therapy exercise that was developed into a series of essays. And it just didn’t work for me.

I do think the book gave me one really good takeaway though. I like the idea that people you go on dates with should have to earn your story. You should not just volunteer it. You don’t owe them a laundry list of disclaimers from the jump. If you get annoyed when authors infodump a tragic backstory in the first chapter, why would you do it to someone you want a relationship with? And that was a little groundbreaking for me. I don’t think anyone’s ever said anything like that to me before. And I am a chronic oversharer. (Read wildly undiagnosed.) I’d been pitched that trauma dumping is trying to shortcut emotional intimacy before. And I buy that. This seems like a natural progression of that or a psychological prologue that I’m just now getting. And I like it a lot. I will be taking this with me.

The book as a whole though… I just don’t know who the audience is. I think if you’re suffering with your sense of self-esteem, this isn’t going to be the book that turns it around. I think it’s a little too hypocritical to read as genuine, and authenticity is the most valuable thing in a memoir. It’s really its only job. I don’t think the writing is poor enough to land this on my do not read list. (I would also feel incredibly shitty putting someone’s lived experience on a do not read list.) But I don’t think anyone needs to rush out and read this. I’d be hesitant to try the author again. I don’t think I really meshed with her writing and viewpoints. I think it’s just too familiar of a struggle with pretty opposing coping mechanisms. Caps and Libras, man. What are you gonna do?

Also, I know most authors don’t have a say in their covers, but it does feel incredibly tone-deaf to edit out the author’s disfigurement on the cover. The legs should be two different sizes. How are you gonna write a book about your own body positivity and still put a different girl’s legs on the cover? I feel like that’s just the cherry on top of why I think this author’s full of shit.

Who should read this:
Body positivity fans
NYC memoir fans

Ideal reading time:
Anytime

Do I want to reread this:
No.

Would I buy this:
No. (The amount of pretty covers kept from my shelf by what they contain-)

Similar books:
* Laid and Confused by Maria Yagoda-essay on sex culture, but reads like a messy memoir
* Horse Barbie by Geena Rocero-memoir
* The Observable Universe by Heather McCalden-examination of grief and technology, sorta memoir
* Death Valley by Melissa Broder-surrealist lit fic
* I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness by Claire Vaye Watkins-lit fic, family drama, pseudo memoir

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

The concept behind I’ll Look So Hot in a Coffin is compelling, but the delivery doesn't quite work. The humor feels strained, and the memoir jumps around too much to build a strong emotional connection. While Sosenko’s experiences matter, the writing often comes off as self-involved and unfocused.

Carla Sosenko was born with Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome, a rare condition that can come with port wine stains, vascular issues, uneven limb sizes, and abnormalities with bones and tissues. Though I (unsurprisingly) hadn't heard of KTS before, I'm always looking for stories from other people with medical conditions or chronic illnesses. They affect a significant amount of people, yet their visibility in publishing is often lackluster. I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin is one tiny wedge in the pie chart increasing that visibility.

I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin is a memoir compiled into a collection of essays that follow key moments, formative experiences, or lessons learned throughout Carla's life. She shares vulnerable childhood moments of feeling othered by those around her; even her extremely loving and supportive parents made some decisions in her childhood that left Carla feeling helpless in her own body. There are several sections that discuss disordered eating, partner abuse, and severe anxiety and depression. Sosenko keeps the mood relatively upbeat and balances out some of the most distressing topics to more of a somber feeling, but beware if you are sensitive to any of these topics as triggers (especially on the ED/body image front).

While KTS is ever-present in this collection, it's rarely the main focus. Instead of laying out endless pages of surely traumatizing medical experiences, Sosenko gives enough detail to understand the ways in which KTS has affected her life while preventing it from seeming like the only focus in it. Did it affect her development of an ED? Yes, certainly, but the areas discussing that are much more focused on her feelings and navigation choices rather than simply serving as another example of KTS being the villain. This is a huge benefit to the reader, as Sosenko's wry narration is well structured while feeling conversational. Without knowing her personally, it truly feels like it's in her voice.

Sosenko has learned KTS as an inextricable part of her, and she's got to at least coexist with it if she wants to enjoy her life to the fullest. I'll Look So Hot in a Coffin makes it clear that there's no KTS bogeyman here. It's all Sosenko.

Thank you to Net Galley and Random House for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. I was not familiar with the author but was drawn in by the title. This memoir is touching, candid and humorous. The author has a type of body deformity caused by rare disorder that has resulted in a large mass on her back, uneven sized legs and a hunched posture. Having to deal with this as a young child on, she has tried to hide or disguise it but has also tried to just show it as it is. She shares stories about having liposuction at a young age, attending weight watchers to lose weight and trying Ozempic, being in a high profile career and her obsession with fashion. Overall, the world looks at her as not enough and an outsider for being disabled but she comes to the realization that she is just different and a place where she can accept and embrace her body for what it is.