Raw, honest and immensely entertaining, this autobiography is as funny as it is tragic. Youngmi Mayer takes no prisoners in telling the story of what it was like to grow up half Korean, half white and never really accepted by either side of her heritage.

Add to that generational trauma, racism, a blended family, and mental health issues within that family, and you have the recipe for a story that is poignant yet bizarrely amusing.

I enjoyed this book way more than I expected to. My only criticism, if it can even be called that, is that I found Youngmi's earlier life and childhood way more interesting than the narration of what happened after she grew up. For anyone who knows anything about Asian families, this story will have resonance - though most of us are lucky enough not to have *quite* such a wild origin story!

Stand-up comedian Youngmi Mayer holds nothing back in her memoir, from her upbringing by a Korean mother and Caucasian father to her present-day successes and struggles. Mayer addresses racism, sexism, religion, and so much more in this memoir.

I found Mayer's writing to be as beautiful as it is brutally honest. But then, there is a lot of beauty to be found when authors and other creators are honest. I am white, so any analysis I can provide of what Mayer shares feels as if it would fall short or invalidate her experiences. That is the case with a lot of memoirs, though -- even if you feel that the author is rambling or sharing an unpopular opinion, it really doesn't matter because a memoir is the product of lived experiences. I really appreciate the chance to broaden my worldview because of stories like Mayer's. She combines biting humor, which is a touchstone for cultures that have seen extreme cruelty and persecution, with profound vulnerability.

The audiobook, narrated by the author, was infused with so much emotion. I could hear so much pain and resilience in Mayer's voice.

Trigger warnings for mentions of genocide, domestic violence, child abuse, murder, sexual assault, suicide, substance abuse, and disordered eating.

Youngmi Mayer is a Korean American stand-up comic, influencer, and podcaster. In I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying, she shares her story, as well as her rage.

Mayer’s mother is Korean and her father is a white American. At the age of 20, she ran away from her family and her oppressive boyfriend, finding herself in San Francisco. Here, she met and married celebrity chef, Danny Bowien, moved to New York and had a child. She became quite wealthy and then lost it all.

The memoir is particularly interesting as she explains aspects of Korean history and culture, including sensitive subjects like the country's relationship with Japan and international adoption. Be prepared for raw reality as the woman behind the Hairy Butthole podcast is not worried about offending people.

Don’t be upset as Mayer ridicules certain groups such as white, American, male, rich, Japanese, liberal, and more.

With sharp wit, she describes starting a family in New York City, leaving her partner, and pursuing her long shot dream of becoming a stand-up comedian, and putting great distance between the inherited cycles of hurt.

Frustrating for this listener is the format in which her story jumps back and forth in time and meanders from one thought to another in more of a blog or podcast style. The overuse of profanity, can be a bit off putting, but it does help to portray her life in brutal honesty.

She did a good job narrating her own memoir.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the audio copy!

I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying is a memoir about standup comedian Youngmi Mayer as she recounts her life growing up in Korea as a biracial kid. I became familiar with the author through her TikToks which are very funny and worth the check out if you liked this book. This memoir gave a lot of backstory for her which was nice. My biggest complaint about this memoir is that at times it felt we were stuck on too many tangents. I think for me, memoirs should have a story the author wants to tell and it felt like there were too many mini-stories that made it incohesive. I would have liked it if Youngmi had focused just on her life in Korea since it seemed a lot of the memoir's focus. I still believe that this memoir is worth the read if you want to know about Korea and family dynamics. Youngmi's narration also made this book worth the read.

I tried really has to finish this. I got almost 50% of the way in and I just couldn’t. I understand this is a memoir and it’s her story, but the way it was told felt unnecessary. I think there is an audience for this…maybe someone who is familiar with her comedy? But as someone who is not, it just felt like a book full of complaints that were forced to be tied into remembered events in history.

This was an audiobook and the author was reading it and I found her cadence and voice and pleasing. The audio itself I would give 4 stars to.

Thank you to NetGalley & Little, Brown & Company for this Advanced Listener’s Copy

Youngmi Mayer has certainly lived an interesting life and it is ripe for a memoir. She grew up biracial (half Korean and half white) in Saipan, had a somewhat abusive childhood and she has experienced an interesting and diverse adulthood which includes helping to start a successful (but eventually failed) restaurant chain, single parenthood and becoming a standup comedian.

I thought the memoir sounded interesting (and I hoped funny since she is a comedian, and I love a funny memoir) even though I didn’t know Mayer. Maybe if I knew her beforehand I wouldn’t have listened/read it because her tone just didn’t work for me. While her story is certainly one that should be told, and I did think her childhood was fascinating and enjoyed learning about how Mission Chinese came to be, I just found the tone hard to listen to/read. I’ve had this issue before with certain books (some novels, some memoirs) - I don’t like feeling like I’m being yelled at while reading. I’m sure her voice and tone work for many, just not for me. It’s a great memoir for her story, and I think many readers will enjoy.

3.5 stars

Thank you to Hachette Audio and NetGalley for the ARC to review

Thanks to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the Audio ARC!

I was not familiar with the author's comedy, or her style, or really anything about her. But this memoir definitely left me wanting more. Her irreverence, her easygoing style, and her self-deprecating-but-beautifully-written prose was very enjoyable.

What a phenomenal memoir! I wasn't aware of Youngmi Mayer previously, but the description sounded intriguing. This was such a funny and insightful memoir. She has such a unique experience living in Korea, Saipan, and America as the daughter of a Korean mother and American father. Since she did not live in America when she was very young, she is able to see the culture more clearly and skewer it. Mayer's descriptions of her childhood and anecdotes of her family were so sharp, wry, and thought-provoking. Gives so much insight to how humor can help people through traumatic, uncertain times. I listened to the audiobook, which the author masterfully narrates. Some parts had me in tears from laughing so hard. I absolutely love memoirs like this, where they're incredibly entertaining and well written, but also teach you so much about the human condition and the experiences of others.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ebook and audiobook ARC. All thoughts are my own.

An emotionally raw and vulnerable memoir about life growing up as a biracial Korean American woman with mental health struggles, generational trauma, ADHD and so much more. Written by a stand-up comic (who I hadn't heard of before this) with a background in the restaurant industry, this book tells about her family history in a humorous way but also touches on important, heavy mental health topics and was great as an audiobook read by the author herself. Highly recommended for fans of authors like Ali Wong or the memoir Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!

I'm laughing because I'm crying by Youngmi Mayer
Narrated by author herself

Book rating : 4 stars
Audiobook rating : 3.75 stars

I'm laughing because I'm crying was an unexpectedly good read. I did not know Youngmi but when I read the blurb I thought she sounds like a person that I would like to read about and I was so right. The narration is good but sometimes her voice had a pitch that annoyed me, otherwise overall the audiobook was an outstanding experience.

The memoir/autobiography of Youngmi feels like a story of about 50% of the population of the earth or more so of Asian people. How we are raised, how we are taught to do things is quite different from other cultures. This book had a strong voice, with history interwoven in between along with story of Youngmi herself with story of her family starting from her grandparents, parents and later her and her husband and kid, story of what her family went through during the last century of colonialism and war in Korea. And how it shaped her and her life in America.

It is an emotional journey , a rollercoaster with cultural anecdotes woven with war stories the retelling of her childhood as an offbeat biracial kid in Saipan, the war that affected both Korean and Japanese population. It has a subtle feminist voice which made the book even more important to me.

One thing that I always can relate in Asian culture books like autobiography or memoirs is that our respect and love for our parents stands tall even when we have experienced abuse or toxicity at the hands of them. But Youngmi makes it very clear unlike other books I have read that she suffered at the hands of her parents. I could relate to it much better when acceptance is present.


Overall it is a memoir that one needs to read as even with themes which include abuse, war, negligence and grief, even through the suffering the voice doesn't falter, it rather is jovially bright and light. That's why even with so much dark theme, the book doesn't feel heavy. The humour keeps it a light read.

Thank you Hachette audio and Netgalley for the wonderful Audiobook ARC in exchange of an honest review.

A roller-coaster ride with emotional ups and downs. Humorous, painful, raw, redemptive. The author is mixed race, born to a Korean mother and a father with mostly German and Irish ancestry, and 2% Ashkenazi Jew for good measure. So she is larger and unlike all the Korean children who are raised to fit in and be the same. In America, the home of 🤬 racists, it was not any better. Anyway this is her story and how she has managed to become a fierce Tiger Mom despite her crazy upbringing and harrowing emerging adult stage. I admire her bravery in putting this book together. She also does a great job narrating it!
My thanks to the author, publisher, producer, and #NetGalley for early access to the audiobook for review purposes. Publication date: Nov 12, 2024.

I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying by Youngmi Mayer was an interesting read that held my attention, even though I didn’t find much of her story relatable. Going into it, I didn’t know who Mayer was, but through her memoir, I learned a lot about (her perspective on) Korean culture, which added a new depth to the reading experience. Mayer’s storytelling style brings out a range of emotions; there were a couple of laugh-out-loud moments, balanced by several very emotional scenes. Her reflections were insightful, and her unique voice made this memoir both engaging and memorable.

I loved how she was able to weave in historical events with her personal history. Though many of the stories have a veil of sadness and trauma she presents it with humor. I loved this book.

Absolutely incredible memoir from a both hilarious and incredibly intelligent comedian. Youngmi Mayer has one of those life paths that is just interesting - living in multiple countries with parents of different languages and cultures - but I think she could have written a mesmerizing memoir even without this life story to guide her. She has so many stories that will have you laughing out loud, and she is able to take these stories and skillfully weave in deep societal analysis that will really make you think. So deep that I have considered listening again to take notes.

Mayer grew up in Korea, and she sprinkles a lot of Korean into this book. I really loved the audio version because of this - Korean is just a beautiful language to listen to. Mayer is also just a fun narrator, and her voice brings her stories to life.

There are so many other reviews out there that go way deeper, but I am just in awe of her skill here. I hope this is not the last I read from Youngmi Mayer!

Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan audio for an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review!