This book reveals how we are all impacted by spiritual trauma and gives practices and reflective questions to help us name it, move towards healing, and even how to be aware of the ways that we may be causing harm to others without realizing it. Having this understanding and knowing how to face it will cultivate more genuine connectedness in our communities and create spaces where we heal from trauma and stop perpetuating it.

I was initially very interested in the subject of this new book but I was hoping it would be a bit more practical than academic in tone. It spends a great deal of pages on the definition of trauma and I just wanted to read more about how to deal and heal spiritual trauma. It is written both for those who have a lived experience with spiritual trauma and those who want to gain an understanding of the subject. It is well written and thought out with alot of important information about trauma, how it shows up in the body and what spiritual trauma may look like. I did greatly appreciate the portion at the end of the book that listed the characteristics of a healthy spiritual community.

There's so much I want to say about this book and even more ways I want to express how it was meaningful to me. It was challenging. It was encouraging. It was insightful and educational. Ultimately, it was hopeful.

First and foremost, I'd say that Holy Hurt is not a self-help book and not really a feel good book either. It's a book that gently yet confidently opens the door for readers to understand and process their own spiritual trauma, while simultaneously raising a bold call to reform from religious systems. It goes well beyond what you'd expect from a random and unremarkable self-help book. It's honest. It's personal. It's well researched. It does not shy away from the hard conversations. No matter where you are spirituality, I'm confident you will be challenged by this book in one form or another.

Even though the content can be challenging at times, I appreciate how Hillary so gently invites the reader to engage at the level of their comfort, and continually reminds them of this throughout the book. At various points in the book, I found my mind drifting towards resistance as I returned back to old narratives that I had previously learned. I accepted the invitation to pause and put the book down, and only then could I do what the book was inviting me into: Greater connectedness with myself, experiencing the grief that was coming up, and going through it to see the other side. Remember to go as slow as you need, and be kind to yourself on the journey as grief comes up.

I grew up in a Christian tradition that teaches that people are bad at the core, deserving of eternal separation from God, or to put it another way humans are mere "sinners in the hands of an angry God." During my adolescence and throughout college, I did not realize how deeply these negative beliefs that I was inherently bad had truly affected how I saw myself. Only recently have I started to unlearn those negative and harmful beliefs.

This book presents a different way forward:
You are good. You were born good. Your core self is inherently good.

If you grew up similarly to me in a Protestant Christian tradition, you may struggle with this key theme and idea. If that resonates with you, I urge you to at the very least consider the argument Hillary is presenting here as an equally justified one.

I wanted to also mention that I really liked the structure of this book. It reads somewhere in the middle between academic, clinical, and casual. It presents research and evidence based context, while simultaneously being approachable, deeply kind, and practical. I came to really appreciate how Hillary balanced the evidence from her research with tangible practices and stories from real people at the end of each chapter. I also appreciate the versatility of this book and how it can be used. One of the themes in the book is how we are invited into witnessing each other's grief collectively, and how that can contribute to a greater collective renewal in our communities. Holy Hurt can be read individually, like I did, but I see tremendous value in it being used as a resource for people to read together as well. Whether that's in a clinical setting by a therapist, or a church seeking to understand how to create more healthy spiritual environments, this is an incredible resource to be used to process with others.

This book is for you if you have spiritual trauma, want to understand spiritual trauma better, or are seeking to be a witness to the grief of spiritual trauma among friends, neighbors, clients, and your community.

Review also posted on my website:
marshallhahn.com/blog/holy-hurt-review

The experience of reading the Holy Hurt felt like seeing and being gifted a dandelion to be held gently, cherished, and gather courage to blow playfully. The book and how it's written with such intention and compassionate care feels like the wind that carries a tiny seed of hope of healing that can be planted and matured to become the full beauty of a wildflower, and what each seed can become in flourishing. And through the journey of reading, I felt so privileged to dare to grab hold of the courage to hope for healing in, with, and through me.

I highly recommend this book to those wounded and those who want to prevent and promote healing of spiritual trauma in our communities, intentionally, Those that may wonder about the adventure of evolving faith journey or those maybe cautious of those reconstructing faith journey- I encourage you to read this as if you would open a collection of love letters and allow yourself to experiencing and being a part of healing painful of our individual and communal spiritual wounds and traumas of different degrees that we may not even be aware of as they may be hidden in generational, cultural, and/familiar legacy. Such beautiful words and ways of the author’s gentle invitation to grab hold of courage to become aware of, grieve, and heal, for we are worthy and lovable through it, that anchors us.

I plan to return to the book again (and again repeatedly!) and enjoy slow steeping through it, the dandelion tea-like company of the book, and the companionship of the author's care.

“May all this be part of our collective healing.” (Holy Hurt, Hillary L. McBride)

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the e-arc. This was a gentle and wise guide to spiritual abuse and trauma that draws from a range of voices to be a really valuable resource for both those living with spiritual trauma and those wanting to understand it better.

Holy Hurt is a book that addresses spiritual trauma, its prevalence in Western Christian churches, the depth of its impact, and how to heal. It was very hard not to compare this book to When Religion Hurts You, another trauma-focused approach to addressing spiritual abuse (published by Brazos a few years ago).

While I'm rating this book quite low, it's not because anything in the book is bad or wrong. If you have never read a book or encountered anything on spiritual trauma, you will learn a lot from this book. If you have experienced spiritual trauma, this book might resonate with you. For me, I spent the whole time wondering why this book needed to be written, as there have been many other books that have addressed spiritual trauma from the exact same lens as this one: connecting spiritual abuse to other forms of abuse and abuse of power and addressing trauma from a cognitive behavioral psychology lens. When Religion Hurts You, as well as multiple books by Diane Langberg, read very similar to this. So for me personally, this wasn't anything new and I found the writing to be quite dry and academic.

The best parts of this book are all the sections not by the author. In between chapters were short essays from folks talking about spiritual trauma. I wish this book had been an anthology.

Finally, one big quip I had with the book was the amount of "Christian-ese" in it, after the author specifically told readers she was consciously not including scripture or other things that may be triggering to readers. While weaponizing scripture causes plenty of trauma, Christian culture and language does the same. For example, let's look at the choice to name the book "Holy" Hurt. The word "holy" will trigger folks. Culturally, this word is weaponized by Christians. The idea that Hurt can somehow transform to holy, as opposed to allowing hurt to simply be hurt, is one of the many traumas the church perpetuates!

All that to say, I'm happy for folks that have found healing in this book. Unfortunately, it's not for me.

HOLY HURT TO HOLY HEALTH
The subject of this book is near to my heart, as I grew up in a religious setting similar to that which Dr. McBride describes. The harm done to a child by the fundamentalist belief system is extremely difficult to overcome. Dr. McBride sets out to help navigate a pathway to healing. Through interviews with others working in the similar fields of psychology, she explores the subject thoroughly.
One of the main aspects of abusive systems that is overlooked is spiritual abuse. Whereas in other forms of abuse, there is a ‘power above’ that can be turned to for help. In spiritual abuse, the perpetrators, be they parents, leaders, or someone in authority, are made to resemble or diminish God is love, leaving the victim with nowhere to turn but to stay in the system of abuse and kowtow to the system.
I found the book to help walk through the processes to healthy thinking and being in a community that is healing and not harming. I would recommend this book to any church leader or person who is teaching others, and especially parents who want to help their children have healthy boundaries and thinking around their spiritual lives.

3.5 stars rounded up. I think this is such an important topic, and I relate to it in many ways. However, the text definitely reads more like it’s written for academics and less for everyday people.

Holy Hurt is a groundbreaking and tender guide for anyone navigating the often invisible wounds left by harmful religious experiences. Dr. Hillary L. McBride and other authors sheds light on the nuanced dynamics of spiritual trauma. Through moving stories, thoughtful reflection, and gentle practices, she helps readers reclaim their inner sacredness and move toward wholeness. This book is a must-read for those seeking to make sense of their spiritual pain, as well as for therapists, pastors, and loved ones who want to support survivors with wisdom and care. Holy Hurt doesn’t just name the pain—it becomes a companion in the healing.

Holy Hurt is more than a book. It's a key to unlock cages of abuse guarded by false teachers in cassocks and Sunday school classrooms. In the hands of Hillary McBride, this key brings wise teachers and thinkers into conversation about spiritual trauma while gently guiding the reader through the fracture lines of their own life left by religious and spiritual abuse. What happens to a human heart when messages about brokenness, original sin, and inherent unworthiness are preached from the pastorate? Holy Hurt takes this question by the hand and onto a new path beyond new wind imprisoned places.

Dr. Hillary McBride does an excellent job in "Holy Hurt" of looking at spiritual trauma, its effects, and the process of recovering. This text is a combination of her sharing information and therapeutic theory alongside interviews of other leading experts she's personally acquainted with. As someone who tries to stay up to date on this topic I felt pretty familiar with much of what she was discussing. Still, I do believe a person with only minimal understanding would still be able to grasp and learn from this text- it is approachable and relatively easy to understand. McBride does an excellent job of breaking things down and explaining them.

There are lots of great insights and powerful lessons that can be applied not just to spiritual trauma but to trauma in general. This text is excellent and worth the read. Don't expect it to be a quick read though. McBride embeds throughout a variety of self-reflective practices which allows the reader time and space to do this work.

I have to admit that I may have chuckled inappropriately during the first few pages of Dr. Hillary L. McBride's latest book "Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing."

This isn't an insult in any way. It's just that by now the assertion that spiritual trauma is real feels rather fundamental in a Mr. Obvious way. In fact, these days I can't help but think that it's more difficult to find people who haven't experienced some level of spiritual trauma within organized religious settings.

I realize, of course, that this is an exaggeration. It simply doesn't feel like an exaggeration. Dr. McBride starts from this basic reality - that the institutions and communities that should be the most holy in our lives end up hurting us. On a certain level, this feels like an almost "duh" statement, not just because of the prevalence of spiritual trauma but because I can't help but think it's the people in our lives with whom we are most intimate that can and often do hurt us the most. In most cases, I think, it's a different kind of hurt that doesn't necessarily damage the relationship. After all, who can say they've ever been in a relationship without experiencing some kind of hurt? It happens. Yet, in most of these cases I'd assume there's a greater common good (NOTE: Don't really ask me about this - I suck at relationships and was horrible in marriage).

This type of hurt is different. Dr. McBride seems to get that and spends a good amount of "Holy Hurt" affirming that our spiritual trauma is real and has a devastating impact. Dr. McBride also reassures us, emotionally and intellectually, that we can establish a new identity, even within our faith, and we can certainly heal.

Having read Dr. McBride's work before, I was quite prepared for her wonderful ability to write both academically and compassionately and to weave together a tapestry of clinical research, interviews, first-person stories, trauma literature, and chapter-ending actionable practices. Dr. McBride calls us into acknowledging our spiritual trauma and yet also refuses to let us off the hook - she calls us into addressing our need for both individual and communal healing.

Dr. McBride's writing feels like that of someone who has both studied spiritual trauma and yet held herself accountable for her own healing journey. While she's not necessarily overly revealing of her own journey, she gives us glimpses into her journey yet always writes in a way that affirms hope and healing and the ability to change ourselves and our faith communities.

In her support of the book, noted writer/podcaster Jen Hatmaker gives mention to one of the better quotes in "Holy Hurt" - "We stoke in people an inner critic and tell them it's the voice of God."

For anyone, I have to believe, who has experienced spiritual trauma this statement and many others will resonate deeply and will feel both challenging and facilitating of one's healing.

For many years, I shied away from deepening faith community commitments and convinced myself that I could make it on my own. Yet, there was something deep within me that longed for a deeper community healing and Dr. McBride sheds light on that craving. She's realistic in her approach - this is hard work that will demand transparency, vulnerability, and a willingness to take risks, however, she's so consistently affirming of this worthy journey that by the end of "Holy Hurt" you'll long to better understand your own spiritual trauma and crave deeper healing.

For those ready to do the hard work of healing from spiritual trauma, Dr. McBride's "Holy Hurt" is a wonderful place to begin.