Unexpectedly funny and very real. I would like a little more depth and development but it was a great read. My first Nicola Dinan book but excited to read more.

The Run-Down: Disappoint Me by Nicola Dinan explores the darker nuances of human nature with compassion, humor, and tenderness.

Review:
At first glance, Disappoint Me by Nicola Dinan appears to belong to the category of millennial literary fiction categorized by generally unlikable, privileged protagonists and wickedly sharp prose bathed in irony and cynicism. The title and cover certainly fit the mold, as does the description of a protagonist who works for a tech company masquerading as an AI legal model. Disappoint Me, however, would best be described as embodying a sort of “post-cynicism.” Rather than view the shallow, pseudo-dystopia of privileged, first-world millennials as a source for nothing more than satire and self-loathing, Dinan deftly and tenderly uncovers the perennial human nature that lies beneath it all. She accomplishes this without sacrificing any of the humor—Disappoint Me is outrageously funny—or astute observations about the world.

Transgender perspectives in mainstream literary fiction are still somewhat rare; so rare, in fact, that this book pays playful and appreciative lip service to Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters, one of the only literary books about trans characters that is well-known enough to have reached the radar of cisgender readers. The protagonist of Disappoint Me, Maxine, is a thirty-year-old transgender woman whose relationship with her queer and mixed-race identities is somewhat ambivalent. She’s far enough in her transition as a passing straight woman to the point where she feels alienated from queerness, and her upbringing and looks distance her from her Chinese heritage. Her romantic relationship with Vincent, a cis corporate lawyer with Chinese parents, brings up thought-provoking questions about identity and privilege with compassion for the characters and highlights how hard it can be for us to know ourselves and each other.

The plot of the novel is so perfectly paced and crafted that it feels true-to-life, and the genius of how Dinan sets up events becomes clear as the book unfolds. The book alternates from Max’s perspective and that of a younger Vincent during his gap year in Thailand, and we see how past events come to haunt the present. The novel focuses on how easy it is for humans to give into their worst natures and do irreversible harm and then asks whether forgiveness for those actions represents grace or cowardice, self-love or self-betrayal. Through it all, Dinan showcases a gentle sympathy for her complex and messy characters that provides a path forward for when we find ourselves perpetually disappointed with ourselves, each other, and the world.


Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

“Disappoint Me” did not disappoint me (sorry, I had to). Every time I picked up this ARC, I found myself fully engaged and didn’t want to put it down. The narrator struck the perfect balance between humor and depth; I highlighted so many of her one-liners.

The story follows Max and Vincent as they navigate their new relationship, introduce friendships, face family and health challenges, and confront the unique struggles Max experiences as a trans woman, along with Vincent’s questionable (and harmful) history involving trans women. It explores big themes like relationships, traditions, women’s rights, and let’s just say it, men’s wrongs.

What really stood out to me was how the characters, all of them, reflect the complexity of life. The book emphasizes that people aren’t binary; they do good and bad things, which raises the ultimate question: how do we respond? Do we accept them as they are, demand retribution, or hold them accountable? It’s a thought-provoking read and I highly recommend! Thanks for the ARC NETGALLEY!

I recently read Bellies for the first time and was left breathless so when I was offered the opportunity to read another book by Nicola Dinan I was overjoyed.

The way this book is written is so tender and delicate, yet there are no punches pulled. The revelations unfurl themselves slowly and you realise they’re signposted. Nothing is tied up neatly and it makes the book feel so real and lived in.

I loved this book and would recommend it wholeheartedly.

Content Warnings: Transphobia, abuse, illness, drug use, alcohol abuse
Favorite Quote: “Just because gay people do it doesn’t make it right.”
Representation: Trans, Trans woman, Chinese
In Disappoint Me, Nicola Dinan picks up where she left off in her debut novel Bellies examining how transness and rigid sexual labels grate against each other beyond hypotheticals and into real-world relationships. In this novel, readers are presented with a developing new relationship between a trans woman named Max and a seemingly open-minded cis man named Vincent. In this relationship, the two grapple with the end of their young adulthoods and what queer temporality looks like in your late thirties.
The novel switches between the present perspective of Max after an accident lands her in the hospital, shaking the foundations of her contentment with life, and flashbacks to Vincent’s gap year trip to Thailand where he developed an intense whirlwind relationship with a beautiful other traveler named Alex.
This novel is far less concerned with portraying a romance as it is with showing the incompatibility of the heteronormative relationship escalator with queerness. Having shifted in the eyes of her cishet college friends after transitioning, Max is now included with in the heteronormative rituals of their weddings and marriages as a bridesmaid. Alongside her lesbian best friend, Max is confronted with images of what could and couldn’t be possible to her as a trans woman in a promising new relationship.
Vincent, meanwhile, is largely detached from Max’s experiences with her transness, but thinks himself to be past the crisis common of cis people in relationships with trans people—how it reflects on their sexual identities, how to navigate public perception, and what that means for family building. Max is not naïve about the potential downfalls she may face in a new relationship as a trans person but feels an undeniable sense of security with the image of Vincent that he presents. Vincent’s past, however, threatens to disrupt his seemingly caring and enlightened character.
Disappoint Me did not disappoint (sorry I had to), but it did leave many questions unanswered. Dinan presents a story that challenges linear temporality and questions what the development of relationships looks like for trans people. Unsurprisingly, this novel refuses to tie these themes up neatly, but rather starts the conversation to be continued outside the boundaries of its pages.

Disappoint Me by Nicola Dinan is an electrifying, tender, and brilliantly messy portrait of love, identity, and the fragile dreams we dare to hold onto. It’s a story that pulses with life and brutal honesty, as much about the complexities of selfhood as it is about the giddy, gut-wrenching plunge into romance.

Max, a trans poet navigating her thirties with equal parts sharp wit and quiet ache, is unforgettable—a hurricane of contradictions wrapped in brilliance and insecurity. Her voice is magnetic, infused with a sardonic edge that masks her profound yearning for something real and steady in a world that has taught her to expect disappointment at every turn. From the first page, Dinan captures the chaos of living with dysphoria, romantic burnout, and the ambient hum of millennial disillusionment with a rawness that cuts deep.

Enter Vincent: soft-spoken, stable, a baker of immaculate sourdough, and everything Max never thought she wanted. Their relationship feels both inevitable and impossible—a delicate balancing act between hope and fear, desire and doubt. Dinan writes their dynamic with such care, layering it with the tenderness of small, quiet moments and the tension of unspoken insecurities. Max’s sharp humor and Vincent’s quiet earnestness form a chemistry that hums beneath every conversation, every glance.

But Disappoint Me isn’t a simple love story. It’s a kaleidoscope of tangled histories, cultural expectations, and personal reckonings. Vincent’s past—a tangled web of guilt, loss, and a decade-old affair in Thailand—casts long shadows over his present, complicating his connection with Max. Dinan captures this with masterful nuance, showing how love can be both refuge and reckoning. The weight of family expectations, particularly Vincent’s parents' quiet disapproval of his relationship with a trans woman, adds another layer of complexity to their journey without ever tipping into cliché.

Dinan’s prose is luminous—poetic without pretense, achingly beautiful in its restraint. The dialogue crackles with wit, but the novel's most powerful moments come in its silences: the spaces between words where fear, love, and vulnerability reside. The exploration of trans panic, millennial ennui, and the seductive dream of "normalcy" is deftly woven into the narrative, elevating this love story into something unforgettable and universal.

The title, Disappoint Me, becomes a refrain not of resignation but of defiant vulnerability. Max dares the world—and Vincent—not to live down to her worst expectations. And in that dare is the fragile, beautiful essence of all human connection: the hope that someone will hold you anyway.

By the final pages, Dinan leaves you breathless—not from grand revelations but from the quiet, devastating truths about love, forgiveness, and the versions of ourselves we build and break for the people we love. Disappoint Me isn’t just a story—it’s an experience, a raw and radiant look at the ways we heal, hurt, and hold on to each other.

Five stars hardly feel like enough. This is a book to be cherished, re-read, and carried in your heart long after the last line.

I was absolutely in awe of this novel from beginning to end. This novel follows two different POVs: Max, a transwoman dealing with a head injury, a recent breakup, and the panic of your late twenties/early thirties where you feel stressed out by everyone around you seeming to find their place in life except you; and her new boyfriend Vincent, a British Chinese lawyer who is cisgendered and comes from a heteronormative background, shown opposed to Max’s almost entirely queer friend group. Her POV explores her identity as a mixed race transwoman, her queer friend group being at the precipice of true “adulthood” where they begin getting married, having children, and having careers, and how she feels the fear so many of us do at this age of feeling alone, like we’re doing everything wrong, and whether we as queer people even want the heteronormative ideals being forced onto us. Vincent’s POV shows his time living abroad years before where he struggles with heteronormativity, toxic masculinity, and homophobia and transphobia growing up with a straight, cisgendered mostly male friend group. This book’s duel POVs explore the palpable feeling of loneliness, frustration, heartbreak, what heteronormative conventions actually mean to people who don’t fit into a heteronormative box.

This book was hilarious, emotional, and felt so real and relatable. I found myself laughing on one page and then moved to tears by the end of the book. The relationship between Vincent and Max was fascinating to explore and experience, and shows the discomfort, frustration, and lack of trust you can feel bringing someone straight and who has never explored their own beliefs and identity into a queer, introspective life. The blending of the two, the push and pull you feel as an observer of their relationship dynamics, makes you viscerally feel the pain Max experiences in deciding whether to trust Vincent. I suggest this book to anyone who’s struggled with their identity, queerness, and the banal loneliness we feel as we reach our thirties and feel disconnected from the “normal” people around us. Nicola Dinan is masterful at making you feel every emotion and I’m so grateful to NetGalley, Random House Publishing Group, and the author for giving me an early copy of this book.

Review posted on Goodreads and Instagram today, 1/9/2025.

I liked this book! It was an unexpected turn of events, a transgender poet falls down the stairs and literally gets up and is a whole new person. They fall in love with a lawyer, and it is an interesting perspective take on this type of relationship. I liked the story!!

Thank you to NetGalley, to the author, and to the publisher for this complimentary ARC in exchange for my honest review!!!

Disappoint Me follows the relationship between Max, a mixed-race trans poet working a day job of pretending to be an AI that can interpret contract law, and Vincent, a Chinese British corporate lawyer.

The story alternates between 2023 London and 2012 Thailand, covering themes of identity, relationships, and forgiveness . Max was a compelling protagonist and her complexity, disillusionment, and insecurity were well fleshed out. I enjoyed the humor, the reflections, and the quiet, tender moments when you first start dating someone.

Dinan takes on the identity crisis of your 30s and the panic that sets in as friends settle into domesticity and heteronormativity. Max is confronted with no longer feeling at home in queer spaces and feeling ostracized in cis and heteronormative ones.

Vincent’s chapters flash back to his gap year in Thailand, where he struggles with belonging and insecurity. These chapters build an impending sense of doom and ultimately a horrible decision he can’t take back.

One hang-up I had with this book was the dialogue. Disappoint Me had a diverse cast (except maybe on a socioeconomic level), but many of these characters spoke with the same voice. The dialogue would feel too self-aware and unreal, which took me out of the story at times. It felt at odds to me with the honest internal voices Max and Vincent have throughout the book.

Overall, I enjoyed this story and flew through it in 2 days. I would definitely read more from this author.

Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. I will be sharing a review on my Instagram on the pub date https://www.instagram.com/sophie.uh.so?igsh=MThieWFiNGI2OG5hdg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

I was provided with an eARC of Disappoint Me by Nicola Dinan via NetGalley. I haven’t read Dinan’s other book, Bellies, so this is my first time exploring her work, but after reading the blurb I was quite excited. Max is a thirty year old trans poet with a lifetime of dysphoria and disappointment behind her, who finds herself bogged down in dissatisfaction with the way her life has turned out. Following an accident at a part, Max decides it’s time to make some changes in her life. Her answer? A dose of some old fashioned heteronormativity. Max thinks she’s found the answer in Vincent, a corporate lawyer whose own life and friend group are worlds apart from her own. Despite her misgivings, Vincent cares about Max in a way she’s always craved, but he’s carrying around baggage of his own.

I identified with Max’s character quite quickly. She has such a wonderful, biting sense of humor and although I’m not a transwoman and can’t speak from that experience, her “dilemma” that propels the story definitely resonated with me. Would my life be much simpler if I could just be a tradwife?* Ensconced in some lovely heteronormative relationship with a man who enjoys John Wick films and naming our children things like Bentley and Braxton and Paxton and Traxton? I’d give fantastic Carol Brady realness (if I had an Alice, I’m not doing all that cooking) Straight (and cisgender) folk often get to have their lives settled in this very normative way that many queer people don’t (or weren’t afforded the opportunity to.) Being trans surely only complicates things further, so it made Max an entrancing and sympathetic protagonist to share space with. Dinan also explores a really complex dynamic with Max and her family that added greater depth to an already
*Absolutely not, easy to ask this from the seat of my male privilege, but I do get the sentiment.

Disappoint Me is told from dual perspectives, with Vincent’s chapters taking place around ten years in the past. I enjoyed this aspect of the story, because it really allowed me to get to know his character, and these chapters do eventually have consequences that affect the rest of the story. Although I didn’t connect as well with Vincent, I absolutely understood the appeal and found him to be completely endearing from nearly his first moment on the page I thought these chapters were excellent and there were several moments where I actually found myself frustrated when the story cut to present. I’m impatient and I wanted answers! But, this added an element of suspense to the novel and really added some necessary tension that later explodes in an unforgettable fashion.

This is a novel about forgiveness, guilt, confronting the past, and acknowledging that love — no matter the type of relationship — takes real and hard work. In Disappointed Me, Dinan creates these wonderfully nuanced characters that are so incredibly interesting to follow. This is especially true of Max and Vincent, but the supporting cast (Simone, Fred, Aisha) are equally well-defined wishing I could peer more into their lives as well. The humorous bits of the novel are really well done, as are the tender moments. Even the more unsettling scenes depicted in the work are engrossing. I loved this novel as a whole, but the third was exceptional. There’s something special about this novel, almost like the spirit of an angsty romantic drama, that made it difficult to put down. I can’t wait to see how others respond to this book

5/5 ⭐

Thanks Netgalley for the e-arc in exchange for an unbiased review!!!

This book is hard to describe, but I'll try. It's about regrets, trauma, family, platonic friends, love, breakups, forgiveness, and I couldn't put it down! The main character's voice is powerful. It is refreshing to have a book where the main character is trans.

In the book's first part, I didn't initially love the main characters as they seemed judgemental. But as I got into the book, I recognized that this was just cynism, being hardened to life because of all the crap life has thrown at them (and continues to), and by the end of the book, I loved every character (even the side characters).

I know BRAT summer is over, and next summer will probably be dubbed something new, but this book is so BRAT.

This book challenged me with some interesting moral/ethical dilemmas; the characters are genuine, messy, and imperfect. I feel really lucky to get into Max's head and hear and see how she views life. The way Dinan writes about everyday life experiences and uses analogies to sum them up is chefs kiss PERFECTION. I wish I could add quotes to this review (but I can't cause it's not published yet).

Sometimes, the jumps in time between chapters felt awkward, but other times, it just added to the intensity.

This book is filled with so much beautiful, imperfect nuance. I loved it. Also that ending!?!??!

really good writing after i had to fight 100 pages to get in to the book. the main character was just a little too negative/complain-y for me to stay engaged with long. but once i was in the groove it was decent!

Sensitive, subtle, and moving. True to life. I would recommend this to anyone who also enjoyed Bellies.

This book was WILD. It really was a thought provoking book on who we let into our lives and the choices we make that define us, but don't make or break us. The trans rep was amazing and this book will make you both love and hate the characters. I definitely recommend this one but I will say that the trigger warnings are strong for transphobia and violence against trans people in this book so if you are sensitive to that please keep that in mind
(4.75 stars)

this had me laughing while also crying the entire time. it's always a bit sad leaving some characters and their stories behind so i'll definitely be revisiting this later on down the road!

Absolutely love Dianan's writing - probably 3.75 because I didn't like this one as much as Bellies. This book discusses forgiveness and the shackles/benefits of heteronormativity for cis and trans individuals. Unfortunately all the characters disappoint you at some point, which I can see was intentional, but didn't leave me with much hope or closure at the end.

I really loved this. Reads like the love child of Hanya Yanagihara and Sally Rooney without the trauma porn and with slightly more plot (so basically it's a lit fic that contains non-excessive and well-placed placed reflections on life, identity, desires etc.). Highly recommend. Will be keeping an eye out for more from Nicola Dinan.

The subject and theme of this book are totally captivating. The exploration of identity, acceptance, and relationships were excellent.
The tone, however, was less endearing- it is a very specific style of writing that I personally struggle with. It feels almost exclusive, meant for younger millennials in boozy artistic circles.

Soft DNF @30% - would probably request finished copy from library

I wasn't familiar with Nicola Dinan prior to this, but I tore through DISAPPOINT ME, and then tore into BELLIES, her debut. Loved this story of growing up, first loves, art and art-making. The primary POV is the strongest, but I still found the moments in which we hop into the love interests' interesting in their own right.

Thanks to the publisher for this e-galley!

This is my first encounter with Dinan's work, but she has secured herself as an instant-read author with Disappoint Me. The book's protagonist, Max, is a thirty year old mixed-race trans woman navigating the modern dating scene and general feelings of unfulfillment. She meets the ever romantic Vincent whose only downside seems to be his traditional leaning Chinese parents who hesitate to accept Max. Yet more unfurls as the novel continues. Readers are faced with the central question: Are we defined by our worst actions? How do you move forward when the cruelest part of you is laid bare?

Thoughtful, funny, and endearing, I heartily enjoyed this story. My critiques are the ending which felt rushed and a few of the side characters, such as Max's best friend Simone, who felt slightly two-dimensional. Overall I rate Disappoint Me a 4.25 out of 5.

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group for the ARC via NetGalley!