Joy Womack has certainly lived a fascinating life and has had quite the career. This memoir/autobiography follows her story as the first American woman to sign a contract with the Bolshoi Ballet Theater. It was very interesting to learn about all that she faced in achieving this, as well as her downfall from this role after she spoke out publicly against the school’s officials.

It’s apparent that throughout Joy’s life she has demonstrated immense grit, tenacity, and dedication to her craft - even when at the detriment of herself. In the book she talks about dancing on numerous injuries, without adequate time to heal, and a harrowing eating disorder. Her story paints a picture of the darkness that can lay behind the “velvet curtain” vs what the audience sees in a beautiful ballet performance.

The book feels like a series of vignettes without as much connective tissue as I would have liked. There were many things I wish she would have gone more deeply into - her childhood and teenage years, how she fell in love with ballet, why she coveted the position at the Bolshoi, and her friendships & relationships in her adult life.

Thank you to Netgalley and Rowman & Littlefield for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This is a fascinating story. I know Joy Womack is many balletomanes' ultimate BEC, but this book goes a long way toward explaining why she is the way she is (in those ways that irritate so many people). Me-first attitude? Explained by the absolutely cutthroat Russian ballet education system she was thrown into, a minnow among sharks. Her rabid self-promotion? More of the same, plus her legitimate need to support herself when her family could not help financially and her ballet "salary" sometimes amounted to no more than $50 per month. That iron grip she seems to have on her public image as a prima ballerina? An absolutely necessary survival mechanism. Vaguely European accent? Explained by the fact that she's spent more than half her life living outside the US.

Most importantly, this book makes an intelligent, well thought-out case for why her family's hardcore Evangelical Christianity taught her to accept suffering and unquestioning obedience starting from her earliest years. The family left that church, but the lessons remained ingrained in her: she did not speak up about childhood sexual abuse until decades later; she bent herself, literally and figuratively, to serve her teachers' and ballet masters' needs; she quashed extraordinary levels of physical pain in service of her art; she endured and still battles with an eating disorder that both serves her artistry and destroys her, body and soul.

And in the end, what I take away from this book is her need to dance. It is a physical need, it is a mental need, it is a spiritual need. For someone like me on the outside, who has no such need, it looks a lot like an addiction no gentler than heroin. To her, it's the expression of everything she is. I admire that dedication, and I'm glad I got to read this book.

ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

Although this is a ghostwritten autobiography, the writing is more than adequate to engage the reader in the subject, Joy Womack, and her story.

Born and raised in California and Texas, she began ballet at a young age and always dreamed of dancing at the Bolshoi Ballet. As a teen, she left the US for Russia and immersed herself in the Russian lifestyle, Moscow, and eventually the Bolshoi where her childhood dream came true.

As she became familiar with the Russian ballet world and the Bolshoi, she began to sense dishonesty and corruption. Around that time Sergei Filin, the Bolshoi director, was attacked with acid, disfiguring him. These changes provoked Womack to speak publicly about her experiences at the Bolshoi. She was fired.

She began dancing at the Kremlin for politicians including Putin. There were severe rules. She traveled Russia performing and felt at home.

The book is a tribute to her determination to succeed, in theatre as well as life (2 marriages and a deadly eating disorder to deal with concurrently with rigorous dance).

Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC.

I appreciated getting to read this story, it really added to learn about what was happening and enjoyed the ballet element in this. It was an engaging story and was hooked from the first page. It told the story perfectly and was glad I got to read this. It was a strong story and glad the author got to share this story with the reader.

Ballerinas and that amazing art world has always fascinated me. I enjoyed getting this behind the scenes and up close and personal look at the demanding and exciting world of ballet.