This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is everything I wanted it to be and I highly encourage you to pick this up if you enjoy Fantasy. This has magic, politics, tension, enemies to lovers romance...I loved it.

Sarai is the fmc and four years ago someone tried to kill her but she doesn't know why. What she does know is that her case was closed without justice and she wants vengeance so she goes back as a Petitor - a presecutor who can magically detect lies. What she didn't expect is that she is assigned to work with Tetrarch Kadra, the most vicious of the four judges who rule that land...and the prime suspect in a string of deaths identical to Sarai's attempted murder.

As Sarai starts to solve cases with Kadra, she starts to question what she thinks she knows. Kadra is charming and he fights against the city's corruption. The evidence Sarai continues to find points to others and her continued knowledge of who he is and her attraction to him makes her think she may be wrong but it is his voice that matches the only memory she has of her attack so now she needs to figure out what truly happened.

Not only does Abeysekara pull you into this story by making you try to figure out what happened to Sarai right alongside her but there is also the current state of things. Because of Sarai's current position with Kadra and the fact that the other Tetrarch's (or some) want to get rid of him, they are looking to use her to get any information they can to use against him. Add in the other Petitors and the challenges that Sarai has with a few of them, and she is fighting continuous battles. Her friendship with Cisure was one of my least favorite parts - I wished she would have seen through that much sooner.

All that to say, I truly enjoyed this book and definitely recommend this book to Fantasy readers. I am happy to see that this is going to be a series as I'll definitely pick up more from this author in the future and will be adding this book to my library.

A stunning dark fantasy with brilliant political intrigue. Absolutely engrossing read. The slow burn romance hooked me and I highly recommend!

The story follows Sarai, a Petitor with lie-detecting magic, who's seeking vengeance for her past attempted murder, believing the prime suspect is her newly assigned and mysterious Tetrarch, the cruel judge Kadra.

With his voice matching her attacker's, and all evidence pointing toward his involvement in a deadly political conspiracy, Sarai is forced to navigate the complexities of politics, power, and a poignant (albeit begrudging) attraction that might just be the answer to all she seeks, or her downfall.

This Monster of Mine is an ancient Rome-inspired romantasy DEBUT (we all know I'm a sucker for a debut) with a really compelling mystery, a super cool and unique society, and an uncommon magic system – lighting!!!

While there were some slower parts (give it a solid 100 pages to get rolling), this book was a really great and unique story – I truly have never read anything quite like it.

For those who are intrigued by the justice system, and the interplay of religion, power, and politics, I think you'll really enjoy this book!

In a world rife with corruption, This Monster of Mine dares to ask the question: what's the cost of doing what is right? With sizzling romantic tension, intricate world-building, and an irresistible mystery at its core, this book is an absolute feast for the senses. A dazzling and deliciously dark debut!

Four years ago, Sarai's whole life was shattered. Trying to challenge the entrance exams at the empire's magic academy, she instead walked into something she shouldn't have and ended up thrown off a tower. The fall should have killed her, but instead it just maimed her beyond recognition, forever unable to practice the healing magic she once was so good at. And worst of all? They closed her case in just three days, no justice. But this shifted her focus. Her new goal is to become a Petitor, basically a lawyer who can magically tell who's telling the truth, among other skills. The position is basically considered cursed, though, with like 7 Petitors dying mysteriously in the last few years, so the position is easier to get than it would have been. Naturally she is assigned Kadra, the worst of the Tetrachs, the most vicious and bloodthirsty...and the man with a voice that she recognizes from the night she fell. The two must work together, reluctantly at first and then with vigor, to solve a whole web of mess and corruption.
I loved this book. This was the sort of book that had me reading until midnight, flipping pages to solve the mystery and make sure the characters made it. The pacing was supreme. The clues were well-laid, but also just sparse enough that putting it together was a challenge. Abeysekara balanced so very many moving parts so well, and just when it seemed like we were finally on the right and full track, a new wrench was added. I also loved the righteous wrath, the satisfaction of getting to watch these characters burn the world to the ground to root out corruption and evil. The righteous anger felt so good right now, in this world, watching politicians cause harm without recourse, and getting to see the good(ish) guys prevail, to watch the underdog make it. Also, Sarai and Kadra were both really hot. Definitely I appreciated the romance aspect. The suspense and tension in the romance was just as good as the primary plot. And the side characters were also good. Most of them were so deliciously hateable. Absolutely loathsome. And then the good ones? Gaius and Anek and Cassandane? Excellent. In short, this book was fantastic.

This just wasn’t my cup of tea and honestly…. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up on my own if it hadn’t been speculated as a pick for one of my book subscriptions. That said, I really wanted to love it..

It had so many of my favourite tropes like a slow burn, tension, and a VERY angry, complex MFC (my weakness). But then... enter the overused shadow daddy. You know the one. He’s everywhere in romantasy these days, and unfortunately, this book took that as a trope without adding anything unique to the character for me.

Now, to be fair…I did enjoy several parts of the story. The political intrigue was juicy, the plot had solid momentum, and the characters were compelling.. The mystery elements and plot twists were definite highlights for me.

However, I struggled a bit with the writing style and overall pacing. It’s hard to explain, but something about it didn’t click with me. And the magic system? It left me feeling a bit lost as some parts weren’t really explained.

Also, let’s talk about the romance. Going in, I expected romantasy, but it read more like a dark fantasy murder mystery with a sprinkle of romantasy towards the end not a bad thing in itself, just not what I was expecting since the tags showed that.

One thing I did appreciate was the way the book talked about real-life themes, especially its commentary on the justice system and how it often favors the rich and powerful.

Thank you to Union Square & Co. for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Everything about this is just PERFECT. This is a bloodbath of fantasy, intrigue, deceit and a unique take on the idea of justice.
Unreliable narrators don't normally enthrall me but this is executed very well and not nescessarily the narrators own fault.
Sarai's journey through this story was phenomenal, I could just feel her anger, it was so palpable and tangible and so incredibly complex without being alienated.

A very good debut, and I am very excited to see more from this author.

This book is a unique take on the classic romantasy story, with a fresh new setting inspired by the justice system of Ancient Rome and a mystery plot to keep you on your toes. I did find that there were a lot of new terms and worldbuilding being introduced right away which caused me to take a bit longer to get into the story, and I would have appreciated a bit more definition of the limits and full capabilities of the magic system, but it was easy to get invested in the mystery once it really got rolling. Kadra is the classic tall, dark, and mysterious MMC I love to read about, although I would've liked to see more development of his personality outside of his everyday role and goals. Overall, the story is a very relevant portrayal of the corruption of justice systems and their tendency to favour the rich and powerful.

"A dazzling Ancient Rome-inspired romantasy debut, This Monster of Mine is a bloodbath of manipulation, deception, and forbidden love."

A very entertaining Enemies-to-Lovers romantasy with political intrigue!

First of all, the cover is beautiful. The cover is actually what drew me to this book in the first place! They say to never judge a book by its cover but...

The setting is Ancient Rome inspired and has some very unique worldbuilding that I, personally, have not seen nor heard of before.
Having learned a bit about the author, Shalini Abeysekara, I found it very insightful to see how a former IRL lawyer views the justice system.

The mysterious deaths of Petitors as well as what happens in the prologue was more than enough to get me interested but I stayed for the deep dive into magic, politics, character development and, of course, the romance! Talk about slow burrrrrrn but in the best way.

That being said, my one, minor, note would be to add a glossary. The beginning of the book felt a bit overwhelming at times.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed The Monster of Mine and look forward to reading more books from the author.

4 stars and my thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC!

I'm glad I stuck with this one after almost giving up. It was so slow-moving in the beginning and I was bored with what was turning out to be more of a legal thriller with magic than anything else. But the relationships grew on me!

I'm not usually a fan of unreliable narrators, but in this case it was the FMC's own memory that was causing it to be unreliable. I'll forgive it this one time. I really liked Sarai and her ability to hold on to the anger she's felt for the past 4 years, even if the subject of that anger is super hot.

What knocked points down for this was truly how I had to slog through the beginning. I wasn't enjoying it at first, almost up until around the time Halvus (redacted, which doesn't narrow it down, I'm sorry).

I look forward to seeing more from Abeysekara!

A very solid debut that checked all my boxes: good worldbuilding, solid writing, and a compelling story. Bonus point for a complex main character! I think the worldbuilding, at times, felt overwhelming until I settled properly into the novel. While this might be a sticking point for some people, I felt it added to the richness of the world Abeysekara created. In an industry that's saturated with shallow worldbuilding, this was a standout I desperately needed to read.

This book is absolutely incredible, and I can’t give it anything less than five stars! The world-building is stunning, rich, immersive, and full of depth. Every detail feels like it was carefully crafted, pulling you into a world that’s both beautiful and brutal. The plot? Completely riveting and addictive. I could hardly put it down! The mystery woven throughout kept me on the edge of my seat, and the fact that it’s all about justice and revenge makes every twist feel so satisfying.

Sarai, the main character, is everything you could want in a protagonist. She’s badass, strong, and so compelling. I found myself rooting for her every step of the way. And Kadra? Oh my goodness, I have the biggest crush on him. He’s the perfect balance of cold and vulnerable, and I just adored his character. The chemistry between him and Sarai is off the charts, with the slow burn and all that yearning. It’s everything you want from a romance, and it makes the payoff feel so earned.

The ending was just perfect. It tied everything together beautifully. I can’t believe this is the author’s first novel because it’s so well-written and so thoughtfully constructed. It feels like the work of a seasoned writer! I truly hope there’s a second book in the series because I’m so in love with the story and the characters. I need more of this world, and I’m desperate to see where these characters go next. If you’re looking for a book that will sweep you off your feet with its gorgeous world-building, intense plot, and unforgettable characters, then this is it! You won’t regret diving into this world.

This was a great debut! It took me a while to settle into the worldbuilding—I had to reread multiple sections in the first 10% or so—tbh it felt overly complex, but once I got a hang of it, I was in it. I loved the slow burn romance with the morally gray MMC and scarred FMC, I just wish there was more of it!

This is the best type of fantasy! I don’t think I can quite put into words.
Abeysekara‘s writing is captivating. She knows how to pull the reader into a magnificent and intriguing place.
The story was absolutely engaging and the work that went into the settings was noticeable and superb.
The attention to details in her writing really set the scene and tone.

Thanks to NetGalley and Union Square Co for this free copy of "This Monster of Mine."

I stayed up late and couldn't sleep until I finished this exciting, heart-pounding debut horromantasy by author Abeysekara!!! Wonderful, powerful, and thrilling!!

So an amazing blend of horror, romance, and fantasy in a harsh, violent world where Sarai survived a murder attempt four years ago and is consumed with plans for revenge.

I wish I'd known there was a glossary of terms at the end because that would have helped so much in the beginning of the story with the world-building aspects. But eventually it all started to make sense and became intense and breathtaking.

I walked around in a Sarai/Kadra daze for a few days after finishing this and now I'm definitely looking forward to author Abeysekara's next work!

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara
🖤🏛️🩸⚖️🥀🕯️
“To the quiet but dangerous girls who seethe at injustice: may they never see us coming.”

Shalini Abeysekara has arrived—and she brought a monster with her.

This book. THIS. FREAKING. BOOK.
Brutal, brilliant, and burning with rage and longing.

⚖️The political intrigue, the Roman-inspired setting, the electric tension between the characters - everything was immaculate. And the commentary on power, trauma, and how the law is often just a tool for the powerful? Devastatingly real. This is not just another romantasy book.

🏛️The world? So interesting. The magic system? So clever. The mystery and political intrigue? Had me flipping pages like my life depended on it. Even when I thought I’d figured out the twist pretty early on, the how still left me reeling.

🥀Sarai. My girl. My furious, grieving, brilliant girl. Her anger isn’t pretty, it’s not polished or palatable, it’s real. She’s angry, raw, and determined to claw her way to the truth, even if it kills her.

🩸Kadra. The most terrifying man in Edessa, cold as marble and yet somehow the softest presence Sarai has ever known. I lived for every moment between them. And the way he didn’t love her because she was "strong despite everything." He loved her because she was strong and broken and angry and messy and still standing.

🖤Their relationship is the kind of slow burn that simmers. It’s less ‘spicy romantasy’ and more a study in emotional intimacy, longing, and the terrifying beauty of being truly seen. And the tension?? Had me constantly (internally) screaming “just kiss already!!”

The ONLY thing I wanted more of was the worldbuilding and magic system, I still feel like there’s so much I don’t know and completely understand, but hopefully we’ll get some more insight to those things in the next book.

Shalini Abeysekara really said “here’s my debut” and then just casually destroyed me. Please give me the second book asap. Thank you.

*Thank you to Netgalley Union Square & Co. for the e-arc of this book*

4.5 stars

This Monster of mine is a thrilling Ancient Rome inspired romantasy full of mystery and political intrigue. Our MC Sarai is a fierce and strong woman out for revenge after something unimaginable happened to her four years prior. Our MMC Kadra aka her main suspect is a powerful Tetrarch with a reputation for violence and brutality, but of course there’s more than meets the eye.

This is dark and gruesome at times and shows what can happen when rulers are corrupt and the wealthy hold all the power. I was fully behind Sarai and Kadra taking justice into their own hands, we love a morally grey duo who will burn the world down for each other. The romance was the slowest of burns and the author did an incredible job of building up the tension between them.

The book wraps up nicely but also introduces a really intriguing potential storyline at the end - I’m really looking forward to seeing what the author does with it! I would highly recommend this to anyone looking for a dark & gripping mystery with magical and romantic elements.

Thank you to Union Square & Co and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

The biggest, most grateful, shoutout to the author and the publisher for providing me with a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Small anecdote: I had about seven billion bookmarks, notes and quotes on my kindle for this book, but something happened that the file triggered a complete shut down of my kindle and I lost it all, including my spot in the book. This would’ve been a favourite quotes post had it not been for that. Ngl, I was heartbroken, all those poignant moments and emotional dialogues I’d saved to share went poof in a second. But when this happened more than once I decided perhaps it was divine intervention telling me that everyone should enjoy the book with nary a peek within. True to that I’ve also ensured my best to keep this review spoiler free.

As a reader we’re always keeping our ears, eyes and heart out in search for that one book. That one book that’s going to take us by storm, attach itself to our soul and knit itself into our lives. We’re all eager, curious, nervous, expectant, of which book it will be. Which story it will be. Which character it will be that will be.

This Monster of Mine was that book for me. Took my heart by storm and stitched itself into my soul. If TMoM was a real person, it would be someone who enters your life so quietly it was a miracle and today you cannot imagine your life without them. Someone you bring home, take to your other friends and tell everyone about them because you can’t not. (To add some backstory to the support the statement, I just finished narrating the basic gist of this book to my mother.)

The plot of this story. The. Plot. Of. This. Story. 🤌🏻✨ Imagine the perfect painting. Now imagine that it’s made, not on a single canvas, but through many many layers of it hidden behind. And each layer that gets ripped away only reveals more—sometimes a different—picture in comparison to what you first understood it to be. It was insane. The emotional, physical and mental turmoil that surrounds the characters paired with the moral compass that the reader will find themselves constantly tuning, reassessing, surrendering before accepting was SUCH a journey. The plot was like a spiral staircase, winding and winding, that the author will lead you through until you’re not sure if you’re going up or down until the whole story falls into place. It was beautiful.

Yes, the story is rooted in a fantasy, but the themes handled by the author in this book? Very much a reality that most have likely experienced or witnessed at least. To have sewn all these many social themes into a story with such a strong plot, such marvellous characters with fantastic plot and make it a riveting read was where the author absolutely won in this book. And this is a debut????? Mind blowing.

I’m not sure if I’m jealous of my past self for having not read this before or in dismay with my present self for having already read this book and never going to be able to experience it all over again for the first time. The conundrum is truly conundruming.

The writing of this story was truly the structure upon which every other pillar that makes this story was built. For the first time in my life I had highlighted to quote something from an author’s note. Who does that? You will too, if you read what Abeysekara has to say. If I was moved by something the author said in a note preluding to the book, you can imagine how utterly immersive, enthralling and gripping her words must be. She has truly poured the very word that the MMC described the FMC as into every letter in this book. It’s as if she took a chisel to stone and etched and etched and etched until TMoM emerged.

With witty, heartfelt, moving dialogues, situations and subtle details that give lots of insight into and show stark truths about the society and enrage you, Abeysekara won my heart over and over and over again in her book.

How she managed to make me feel gently cradled even while writing a scene that was spilling me down the middle with a strike as powerful as a lightning, I will never know. Anger? I had lots of that. Was I in pain? Unimaginably so. Confusion? Suspicion? Dread? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes to all. And the author never shies to thrust her characters, story and narrative under terrible light. She redefines so much of our thoughts in her book it makes me wonder if the chisel she took was to the book or our minds.

Characters. Thank you, God. It’s been SO long since I met a heroine who isn’t impulsive and running off making decisions based on anger, hurt and a misguided understanding of a circumstance. I loved loved loved Sarai. She had all the emotions we love in a FMC. She was revenge, she was anger, she was powerful. Alternatively? She was soft, she was pain and she was panic. She was written to single-handedly show how courage sometimes is the mightiest strength one can possess and the fiercest weapon one can wield.

The fact that the author threaded a sub-plot of romance through all this with a presence loud enough to momentarily drown out the rest of the world was … astounding. I have never found a book with a more balanced narrative that included all elements in perfect harmony before.

Shalini, you have my heart. Please, keep it. I’m not sure what to do with it anymore.

The pace was a tempo. A staccato that builds and builds and builds along with the unraveling story that slowly reveals, reveals and reveals; that feels like the drumbeat of your heart in your ears. The resolution of a story that’s drawn so tight with tension and threat of such high stakes requires an equally amazing resolution. Somehow, even there, Abeysekara does not falter. Not even a single page or scene takes away from the beat. The pace is wonderfully steady throughout without a single stagger sideways or a missed beat. Loved it. Loved. It.

The world building in this book is something that eventually starts becoming a part of your understanding. Abeysekara doesn’t thrust a bunch of information at you to grasp all at once. No, she does some basic explanations and just keeps moving. With time, the vocabulary starts making sense to you and if it doesn’t, contextually, you’ve got it. There’s a glossary at the end of the book, if you’re someone that prefers to be familiar with the words before encountering them, definitely start with the glossary. Even if takes time, the world will make sense to you.

Five BILLION stars. Please please check trigger warnings. There are themes, situations, content in this book that can be difficult for some, so definitely be aware before reading. Happy Happy Reading. I hope this book breaks your world like it did mine. (In the best way, of course).

Shalini Abeysekara's debut novel, This Monster of Mine, is a deliciously dark blend of fantasy, murder, and slow-burn romance set against an Ancient Rome-inspired backdrop. I loved the mystery, the political intrigue, and the unique magic system (magical lawyers!). Abeysekara's background as a lawyer helped flesh out this world even more, and created this really fascinating and layered depiction of a corrupt and unjust legal system. I DID NOT see the end coming, and couldn't put this book down until the very last page. And the romance — without giving too much away, Sarai and Kadra the perfect blend of angst and tension. If you love dark fantasy with high stakes, morally gray characters, and the kind of slow-burn romance that keeps you turning pages, This Monster of Mine should have a spot on your TBR.

I have found myself truly in awe of ‘This Monster of Mine’ to the point that I fear that I have already found my book of the year. If I can rate this book 6 stars I would. Infinity stars, even. This is the book to be topped in 2025 and I cannot wait to see what comes next in the final instalment to this duology.

‘This Monster of Mine’ is dark and deceitful tale depicting just how easy it may be to find yourself on the precipice between justice and vengeance. It was everything I was promised and even more. It was dark, gritty and utterly captivating in its horrors and promise of violence that left you biting your nails in apprehension. The way morality is regarded was such an eye-opening experience as it can (tragically) be reflected directly into the realities of our real lives today outside of Fiction. The complexities of our characters added so much depth to their journey as you find yourself struggling to discern truth from lie. Who are the real villains of this story, and what are their motives? The author has masterfully weaved a compelling tale steeped in greed and deceit that leaves the reader vying for a hint of the truth amongst the untrustworthy.

The way our two main characters interact can be best described as compelling and additive. A young woman on a path for justice (or vengeance based on how you interpret her motives), and her mentor who may have been the match to ignite it all. I battled with the need to consume this book in one sitting against the need to savour the story and all of its uncertainties. The world that has been curated within the pages is brutal in its entirely unforgiving and uncaring nature. Only the strongest may thrive, yet with still no guarantee of survival. ‘This Monster of Mine’ is the most thought provoking book I’ve read in a very long time, and if anybody is to take a recommendation from me then please make it this one. This is not a book to be missed in 2025, nor is its upcoming sequel with details yet to be announced.

Thank you to the publisher for the early copy to read and review.