'Your parents are your parents, you don't question what you have for dinner, or where you live, or how they talk to you, that's just the way things are. It's when you're older that you start to think, hey, that was a bit odd, wasn't it'?

Reading 'The Usual Desire to Kill' is like being plonked in a reality TV show that follows an eccentric, multi-generational family. Mostly viewed from the perspective of daughter Miranda, the plot centres around her parents, who've been married for over 50 years and have felt every one of them. They constantly pick and needle at each other, all the while still carrying on with their unwavering routines, 'You know what it's like, the usual desire to kill...'. Occasionally we hear from Miranda's sister, Charlotte, through letters, and Miranda's daughter, Alice too. Altogether their voices highlight the menagerie of their family dynamics, 'I often found myself communicating the desires or complaints of one to the other'. But as critical as Miranda and her sister are of their parents, they are not immune to having their own foibles.

'The Usual Desire to Kill' is a unique read and one that took me time to work into. It made me feel a range of emotions, from sadness to hilarity, as well as a sense of a loss of living the life you desire - caught up in what you 'ought' to do. No matter what your out take of this book is, it'll definitely give you some points to ponder.

'The moral of the story was: Don't choose what you desire, choose what you need (or maybe what you think you ought to have...)'.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

There were definitely some ups and some downs to this book. To start with the positive- I really did enjoy parts of the dialogue, and the distinctive relationship between the parents. There was a lot of banter that really shone here, and it was very well done. The author certainly shows a particular ability to write dialogue, which is fantastic.

I think the father was, perhaps, my favourite character- he felt fully developed and wasn’t mired in some of the bizarre trappings attached to the other characters. The atmosphere as well, at times, was also really quite effective.

On the other side of things, I did find the approach of the letters a bit tedious. I understood the concept of the family secret just fine, but it really didn’t pack enough punch, and I found the lead narrator to be lacking at best. The title as well is certainly no indication of the book itself.

There were definitely some shining points, but sadly, this one just didn’t quite get up there for me beyond the witty banter.

Personally this is a genre and story that I love and enjoy reading but unfortunately I was unable to capture the essence of the story. I understood the concept of the story yet found it difficult to grasp and failed to hold onto my attention. Even though I wasn’t able to fully understand or comprehend the story I still wrote this review to inform the author and publisher that it maybe a great story but not all readers might not be able to have a grasp of the story or being able to their attention held to finish reading the book. One day I will read the book again and update my review.

A very readable take on life. The ageing parents live in friendly bickering in France with a menagerie of lamas, ducks and bad cats. Their daughters care for them through occasional visits which result in the title. The usual desire to kill is born of the frustration of the father, a former philosophy professor and his wife. They married but never loved each other and have lived life together since the unplanned pregnancy. At times laugh out loud funny at others poignant and heart breaking. A salutary take on what we don’t know and will never know about our families. I was not surprised to find the author is a playwright as it seems as it is ready for staging. Some lovely references to Shakespeare’s Lear are made as well as many other poets.

Quirky and fond, a humorous take on spending 3 months at home with her parents in rural France - Miranda observes their ailments, their fading memories and the pettiness of their marriage while the reader finds out about their relationship and their past from Miranda's mother's diary entries as a teenage college student

I’m still processing how I feel about this one. It’s both wryly observant and deeply melancholic—a novel that captures the complicated entanglements of family life with biting wit and an undercurrent of sadness.

Set in rural France, The Usual Desire to Kill follows Miranda, who spends her visits acting as a reluctant mediator between her eccentric, long-married parents. Her father, a retired philosophy professor, never loses an argument. Her mother, despite being born after the war, brings every conversation back to it. Their home, much like their relationship, is crumbling—shared with llamas, ducks, chickens, cats, and a freezer hoarding decades-old food.

The novel expertly dissects sibling rivalry, generational divides, and the long-buried secrets that shape families. Barnes’ background as a playwright shines through in sharp dialogue and dry humour, but at times, I found myself struggling to connect emotionally with the characters. While I appreciated the keen observations, the narrative left me feeling more distant than engaged.

Recommended for fans of literary fiction and family dramas, especially readers who enjoy the sharp wit of Jeanette Winterson.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Australia for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

📅 Out 2 April 2025 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

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