I often struggle with assigning star ratings to the books I have read. Are they meant to indicate how much I enjoyed the book, even though that may not be particularly relevant to someone else's decision to read it? Should the rating indicate how well-written or well-plotted the book was in light of its genre? Or, as one of my favorite Substack literary critics has suggested, should I rate a book based on how well it accomplished the author's purpose in writing it, even if I didn't particularly enjoy it?

Auston Habershaw's If Wishes Were Retail forced me to confront this question head-on. The publisher describes it as an "hilarious, cozy adventure" in which "a rebellious but enterprising young woman and an ancient but clueless genie go into business at the local mall." While "cozy" is a bit of a misnomer, this description led me to expect a quick, light read, and that's what I got: an enjoyable but average piece of escapist fiction. Until . . . I read the multi-page Afterword. In it, Habershaw frankly acknowledges that his novel "couldn't decide what it wanted to be, in the end." I think Habershaw gets it wrong here. The book knew perfectly well what it wanted to be; it was Habershaw who wanted it to be more, to be deeper, to be a commentary on society's failure to work because we have lost sight of the need for "all of us, working together - even the people we don't like" to solve society's ills. To the extent this was Habershaw's purpose in writing If Wishes Were Retail, he failed.

Once Habersaw asked me to take his book seriously, its flaws became glaringly obvious. His characters are one-dimensional, and his characterizations of their relationships and environment don't make sense. For example, Habershaw's protagonist Alex lives in the suburbs, where most residents consider themselves middle-class, yet she repeatedly describes her family as "white trash" (and not in a self-deprecating way). There are multiple references to Alex's relationship with her parents and brother having soured "two years" before the book's events, yet what happened two years ago is never explained. The genie declines to grant the first problematic wish he receives, despite Alex's objection, but subsequently grants a potentially life-threatening wish because Alex naively asks him to. Finally, there are a couple of major plot problems, which I will not describe here in accordance with NetGalley's Spoiler Policy, which I could have ignored in a humorous fantasy but cannot gloss over in reviewing a book with more serious pretensions.

So where does this leave my rating? With a 3 for enjoyment and a 1 for accomplishment of author's purpose, I give If Wishes Were Retail 2 stars. I strongly suggest to Habershaw and his editor that, if he ever again feels the need to explain his book's purpose in an afterword, he should take that as a sign that the book is not ready for publication.

I received a free copy of If Wishes Were Retail through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

If Wishes Were Retail is a funny little novel about learning to appreciate your community and the gap between our desires and needs. It follows Alex, a jaded teenager who's low on funds and high on snark, as she picks up a gig at the local mall selling wishes for an out of touch genie. She knows the genie could be her ticket out of Dodge, her escape from her hot mess of a family and nowhere town, if only she can turn this mall kiosk into a profitable business.

This book was a quick, mostly lighthearted read which is always what I'm looking for in a cozy fantasy. The development of Alex and the genie's relationship from blatantly antagonistic to real respect was the highlight for me. I enjoyed their banter and the way Alex learned to really see the people around her through their interactions, and himbo Kenny was a delight in the few scenes he appears.

However, the story fumbles when it comes to messaging. It's clear from the text and the author's note that Habershaw had a lot he wanted to convey about society and labor, but his position comes across as a muddled, 2000's centrist liberalism, not the "subversive" message he purports to share. Apart from the questionable use of fantasy gnomes as a stand-in for migrant workers, he mentions in the author's note that he expects some people will find this book too socialist, and others not socialist enough, which really only makes sense if you think socialism is when an individual gives away things for free and the good guys get to be the landlords.

Thanks to Netgalley and Tachyon Publications for a reader copy of this book in exchange for this honest review.

If Wishes were retail is a charming story with an important message.

I liked exploring what people may wish or & what they would pay. I liked Alex becoming more aware of her family being actual humans with their own trials, failures & hopes. I can also relate to having a dysfunctional family but no one is perfect.
The randomness of Genies & Gnomes just suddenly existing & everyone just getting on with things was interesting in a realism kind of way. I do think as a society we would just adapt. I found the red tape & bossy customers all too realistic with my many many years in customer facing roles.

I'd recommend for anyone needing a little magic.

BTW, The gnomes asking for all cats to be declawed is unjustifiably horrid. Declawing cats is a cruel outdated practice that should be illegal everywhere!

If you have ever worked in minimum wage retail or been someone who works in customer service, this book will probably resonate with you on some fairly hilarious levels. I, myself, have done my time as a "mall-rat", working multiple jobs at a time, opening one store then closing another all the while trying to keep up with my college work. This book hit me right in the nostalgia of mall life and dang, I miss the good old days.

Alex is a 17 year old who is determined to get herself out of her small town and away from her family. Her father has recently been caught up in a scandal with Alex's previous boss over a multilevel marketing venture gone wrong and lost a lot of money. Alex's mother is doing her best to keep the family afloat with the money she makes working at the grocery store but it doesn't seem to be enough to pay the bills and fully keep up. And finally, there's her brother Marc, who seems to follow their dad around and help him with his lawn service job. Yet lawn service isn't as lucrative as it has been since the gnomes have started doing the job faster and cheaper.

Alex runs across a job she hopes will help her secure enough money to get out of town. It just so happens to be with a Jinn who has opened a kiosk in the mall to sell wishes. Of course this idea can't possibly go wrong. There's no way people won't wish for terrible things to happen and things won't backfire or make things worse. I mean, the Jinn does have final say on what he grants but he also has a very flimsy idea of what is illegal and what isn't.

I had so much fun with this book and hope this author finds more inspiration in this same vein in the future.

Very fun and sweet, but also emotional. It's a bit cheesy (ok maybe a lot), but it's a tender tale about hopes and finding happiness.

I am a huge fan of Habershaw's "Saga of the Redeemed," so I was thrilled to see new work by him. This book is for sure WILDLY different from that series, but I was hoping the humor and heart would still be there - they are. Often humorous fantasy gives off very try-hard vibes, which I find very off-putting and make me DNF them before even getting halfway through. Maybe Habershaw's humor is just more to my liking, but this is a fun and funny read and the humor doesn't come off as forced or I-think-I'm-funny-but-I'm-just-annoying vibes.
Maybe I want all my beloved fantasy authors to write a cozy fantasy book or two now!
Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC in return for an honest review!

~Thank you NetGalley for providing me this eARC!

If Wishes Were Retail is a whimsical story about a young girl named Alex who starts working at a mall kiosk for a genie who has started a business selling wishes. Set in 2023, this book has a lot of contemporary references to pop culture and things like the pandemic, which had impact on Alex’s lonely circle at the point of this book.

I found the relationship between Alex and the genie to be very cute and silly, and the growth between the two characters was very wholesome to see. I thoroughly enjoyed all the scenes within the mall, where wishes were being granted left right and centre. The characterisation of both characters - the clueless genie from another time and the angsty teen who wants to skip town - created a fun atmosphere between the two.

The family drama aspect was also interesting, but unfortunately didn’t have as much depth as I would’ve liked. Both the Dad and brother only become likeable characters in the last chapter and epilogue, and the mother isn’t really given much to do as she’s absent for most of the story.

Despite this, I found this to be a very enjoyable read full of silly wishes and plenty of gnomes!

"If Wishes Were Retail" by Auston Habershaw was quite the enjoyable story. Alex is a typical suburban teen looking for a summer job. She is looking for a way out of her boring and troubled life. Her parents are on the verge of divorce, her brother is a slacker who just parrots pretty much whatever her father says, her friends are non-existent. In truth, Alex is marking time, hoping to make enough money to head to college and to get away from the dead-end life her family and town seem to offer her. She stumbles on a job working at the mall -- to help a genie who is opening a new kiosk to grant wishes.

The absurdity of the premise works surprisingly well to demonstrate the lesson Habershaw is wishing to impart. The supporting characters are a little too cookie cutter, but Alex's and the genie's characters were well developed. The story's origin as a short story that just continued to grow was fairly evident. I was surprised how long it kept going on; not because I wanted the story to end, but rather because I was afraid it was going to end too soon. While the story did have a satisfactory conclusion, there were elements I wish had been more fleshed out. Still, the story was enjoyable and the fantasy elements mixed with the modern setting were just fun. I look forward to reading additional works by Habershaw.

Thank you to NetGalley and Tachyon Publishing for the opportunity to read the eARC of this title.

If Wishes Were Retail is the humorous urban fantasy we all need right now.If you’ve ever worked retail in a mall (I’ve done two stints as a bookseller in malls), there’s an extra dimension in this novel. As the genie attempts to create a vocation from wish granting, teen protagonist Alex tries to negotiate the promise of granted wishes with the real needs and desires of their customers. And we learn that any wish, once granted, has unforeseen consequences.

There’s also the story of Alex's attempt to deal with her dysfunctional family, and her desire to escape the mundanity of suburbia for the promise of college life in New York.

And then there are the gnomes: seemingly everywhere ,performing the maintenance tasks of mall, landscape, and mechanics.

Habershaw’s genie is a wonderful creation, who expresses incredulity every to time Alex tries to explain how life has changed from the world he knew in ages past.

Lovely ending.

If Wishes Were Retail.
By Auston Habershaw.
June 2025. 256p. Tachyon, paper, $16.95 (9781616964344); e-book (9781616964351).
REVIEW. First published April 2, 2025 (Booklist Online).

Habershaw’s contemporary fantasy adventure is sassy and snarky but with soul. It is 2023, and all 17-year-old Alex Delmore wants is to escape her family and go to college. Her parents are constantly fighting, mostly due to her father being obsessed with conspiracy theories—he thinks gnomes are stealing his landscaping clients—and get-rich-quick schemes. The most recent scheme had such a severe impact on their finances that Alex was told she could not remain unemployed. But finding a job in their small town is not easy, so when she sees an online posting for a sales job with a genie, she is skeptical but desperate enough to take a chance. Turns out the genie is real and recently escaped the ring he had been trapped in for millennia. Now he wants to sell wishes at the local mall, but he needs someone to help him understand the twenty-first century. How Alex learns to deal with an obnoxious being of unlimited cosmic power and gains a better understanding of her fractured family is riotously funny and surprisingly poignant.

Alex Delmore has a dilemma. She want out of her town and but her family situation makes that almost impossible to fulfill her dream of NYU. So she goes hunting for a job and lands a gig as the front-person for the genie who has opened a wishing kiosk at the local mall. What could possibly go right? But every time the duo seem to get a grasp on how to get ahead, something else pops up - lawsuits, mall regulations, stupidity of people, etc. So how does a girl get ahead in this game? Basically by thinking way, way outside the box, and choosing a different game to participate in. An interesting look at what happens when people forget how to interact with others except on a commercial basis. Nice cover art too!

Thanks Netgalley and Tachyon Publications for the chance to read this title!

This book has not been copyedited. Please fix the grammar before you sell this to people. The first 2 pages are fun, though.

I had a very mixed reaction to this book! On one hand, it's a cozy fantasy with some funny moments. On the other hand, the main character is burdened with an extremely toxic family and makes frustrating decisions. (Also, some of the humor is kind of slapstick and gross-out. I am not a fan of mean spirited humor.) The setting is kind of interesting, in that it's a modern one, with with urban fantasy situation of "magical beings just returned/turned up one day and now we're dealing with the fall out." (In this case the magical beings are a genie who wants to run a kiosk in a dying mall and a bunch of gnomes who are working multiple terrible, low paying jobs.)
Our Protagonist is a girl named Alex who is trying to get a job so that she can eventually pay for college and escape the town she grew up in. And she has very valid reasons for wanting to escape! Her dad's landscaping company is tanking due to very stupid financial decisions, an affair and competition from gnomes. The dad is also a conspiracy theory nut, and a "sovereign citizen." Her mom is under a lot of stress in regards to her own work, and her husband being a wingnut. Her brother is wingnut 2.0. Our Girl is not having a good time!

The genie hires Alex. Alex has the not-so-wonderful job of running the cash register and trying to explain the modern world to the genie. (She does not do very well at this. Her own base knowledge is very low, and her ability to get through to the genie limited. It is the blind leading the blind right over a cliff.) With the outcomes of many of wishes being...not great (mostly by accident rather than out of inherent malice) this wish granting business becomes a liability for the mall, which is dying anyway.
The book has some funny moments, but the type of humor is generally not a variety I vibe with. While I felt sympathy for the protagonist, I didn't actually like her. The genie was an interesting character with some depth, but his absolute stubborn refusal to figure out how to live in the modern age was kind of exasperating.

This book is probably going to be best for anyone who likes petty vengeance, watching wingnuts embarrass themselves and some of the silliest "there is no ethical consumption under late-stage capitalism" jokes you've ever read. This review is based on a galley copy received from NetGalley.

This was so cozy and warming and cute. I have a great feeling with the main protagonist, Alex and, obviously, the Jinn. The story was also very well connected, and the prose was stunning. I want to read more about this author

Unfortunately I was unable to finish this book as 50% of the way in, I realised that the story was nothing like my expectations from how it was described in the blurb. I was looking for cosy Aladdin meets modern world. Instead I got an angst young adult who is so audacious with attitude I couldn't connect with at all. A Jinn that while was okay definitely did not give off cosy fantasy at all. A world where there was suddenly gnomes that people accepted as normal but not a genie. I feel as if the story would have been better suited for a fully magical world where magical creatures live along side humans it would have been more interesting and give off the vibe of cosy fantasy. Also the family was frustrating at best and abusive at worst. I don't know why it needed to be written that way. If differently executed could have been a great story.

Alex needs a job so she can save up and move out of her dead-end suburban town. Jinn, a genie, is trying to sell wishes at a mall but knows nothing about the 21st century. Together, they pair up to make it work—despite constant setbacks: the mall’s management wants them gone, people are terrible at making wishes, and what?? There are gnomes here??

The premise of this book was definitely intriguing! It started out strong—it was funny, had some magical intrigue, and would be relatable to anyone who’s ever just wanted to save some money and GTFO.

It was fascinating to think about what people in the 21st century would wish for. Some wishes were selfish, some selfless, and some just for the lols. Soon, you start to realise the limitations of wishes. Even if everyone had a genie who would grant their wishes, it wouldn’t magically solve all their problems or make society better.

That said, the point of the story only became clearer after reading the author’s afterword—which means I couldn’t get it from the narrative itself. I think the story could’ve used a lot more development. I didn’t quite get the bit about the gnomes or why everyone so easily accepted the existence of gnomes and genies. And I HATED Alex’s family; I didn’t think they deserved any empathy or redemption (or at least the writing didn’t move me that way).

Cool concept, but the writing just wasn’t for me.

Rating: A-

Thank you NetGalley for this eARC.

If Wishes Were Retail is a light-hearted supernatural fantasy about Alex, a 17-year-old, living in a crappy small American town with her dysfunctional family. Her mother works in a grocery store, her father has a lawn-mowing business supported by her brother, and Alex was recently fired from a sandwich shop. When she starts her new job search, she comes across an ad for a strange new stand in the local mall staffed by...a genie.

I thoroughly enjoyed this little book. It was so funny, refreshing and enjoyable. Alex's struggles are so relatable, being stuck in a small town with almost no way out and struggling to make your own way. Everyone seems to want to keep her down and in the town, telling her to recognise where she's really from and how she's no different. Her relationship with the genie starts tense and frustrating but the development across the course of the book is so genuinely fun and lovely to see. I had a great time reading about Alex's father's mishaps and the hijinks of the genie with the people coming for wishes.

It reminded me of the cheerful comedy of Wallace and Gromit or of a Ghibli movie.

This is a great little book that everyone can enjoy

This was a super fun novel - it was funny and clever. It was a fast-paced comforting read that had a lot of heart. If the description appeals to you, I'd definitely recommend that you check it out.

Not a bad read. Not a great one either. Started off with great potential for humour but unfortunately the author left a lot on the table and by the end it was very sanctimonious. Perhaps I am not the target market for this book, but it did feel that the author got very carried away with beating the reader over the head with the lesson. In the end, Alex became one dimensional and a bit hard to take and the side plots of her family were unimaginative and predictable. So many missed opportunities to make this hilarious while still making the point. And if that wasnt bad enough, the self righteous authors letter at the end of the book was so sickly and self aggrandising it made my teeth hurt. I think the author needs to decide who he is writing for. If its adults, then please give us more credit at being able to get the gist without it being shoved down our throat.

A genie sets up a stall selling wishes, with teenaged Alex as assistant and lots of things happen. It was a wave of emotions from enjoying it; to getting bored then enjoying again. My favourite characters were undoubtedly the Gnomes. I lived for the gnomes in this tale. I don’t know whether it was the Alex, who just annoyed me with her teenager attitude or whether there were times when the genie just should have granted certain wishes just to add excitement to the plot. I don’t know how I feel. This book was read quickly so I must have enjoyed it more than I thought. Personally, I think the title is cheap and could be worked on.