How to Stop Trying by Kate Williams really hit home in a lot of ways. Her take on letting go of perfectionism and impossible expectations felt super relatable and honestly, kind of freeing. The audiobook was easy to listen to—Kate’s style is warm, honest, and engaging.

The only thing that didn’t quite work for me was how much the book focused on motherhood. I was hoping for something a bit more inclusive of different experiences women go through, not just parenting. That said, the overall message is still strong and totally worth hearing, especially if you're a mom feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to have it all together.

Big thanks to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for letting me check out the audiobook early in exchange for an honest review!

Thank you Macmillan Audio for the ALC.

It’s been a while since I have read a self-help/advice style book, but I was enticed by the kitten on the cover and the subtitle “An Overachiever’s Guide to Self-Acceptance, Letting Go, and Other Impossible things” so I decided to give it a listen.

In the prologue, Kate starts by defining “trying” and how exhausting it is to always be trying, putting energy into things whether it’s because of your own internal motivation or because of societal pressures based on your gender, race, class, and other identities you hold. It’s like a kitten holding on to a rope (hence the very cute kitten cover).

She then goes into discussing her journey with motherhood and secondary infertility. I was particularly moved by one passage (transcribed on slide 3). As someone who reads almost exclusively romance, there are some things we expect in our stories - including the happy ending. That happy ending looks different from book to book, but oftentimes includes proposals, weddings, and children. It struck me to hear Kate describe how difficult it is to find stories – real and otherwise – that show women who want children, who try (see? There’s that word…) with all of the energy and resources they can, and yet do not get the storybook ending with their descriptions on how to accept a life that looks different than they imagined. Later in the book, Kate goes on to say that sometimes things just happen and do not need to be spun into positives – things can just be as they are, these feelings deserve acceptance and validation.

While this book does not exclusively focus on infertility, I wanted to share this review this week as it’s National Infertility Awareness Week and I found her perspective to be refreshing and relatable. She also shares essays for the reader to encourage them to focus on their needs as a woman, partner, parent, colleague, and friend, sharing examples of times when she wished she had prioritized her mental health instead of doing what society and internalized misogyny told her to do. If you pick up How to Stop Trying looking for advice, you will find it woven in relatable stories within the domains of which you need – work, partnership, parenting, friendships, self-care, and everyday interactions with strangers. As with any self-help book, I think this is a “take what you need” style read and may not be 100% relatable to every reader, but in the end I’m glad I gave it a listen.

I enjoyed this book. I don't read a lot of self-help books but I thought this would be a good one as a mother. It was nice to hear that other people feel the same way I do about trying too hard and trying to do too much. But I do feel like a lot of the information was a little basic. I enjoyed reading about her journey in overcoming her tendency to try too much. Thank you for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

Geared toward mothers who do too much. Probably would be helpful if you are the target audience, which I am not and did not know I wasn't until I started reading, but I felt any and all advice was pretty basic stuff I could read on a social media post.

It was the cover that drew me in. I wouldn’t say I’m generally a self-help book kind of gal, so maybe I wasn’t the proper audience for this. All the information seemed pretty basic and anyone that took any time for self reflection, should already have dealt with these concepts. Sometimes it’s not about being an overachiever but really just wanting to always do your best. I actually feel like for the most part, it’s about priorities and not trying to spread yourself too thin.

I really enjoyed How to Stop Trying and found Kate Williams' insights both refreshing and thought-provoking. The audiobook is engaging, and Kate’s advice on letting go of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations is incredibly valuable. However, my only complaint is that the book focuses heavily on motherhood and parenting, rather than addressing a broader range of experiences for women in general. I was hoping for a more inclusive perspective, but despite that, the message is still powerful and worth listening to. If you're a mother struggling with the pressure to "do it all," this book will likely resonate deeply with you. Thank you to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for the opportunity to listen to this advanced release audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

How to Stop Trying
by: Kate Williams
Macmillan Audio

Author Kate Williams shares her personal experiences in this book written to help women overcome pressures which arise from trying too hard to meet the demands of today's society. Many women are overachievers and put stress upon themselves to meet expectations of others while neglecting their own needs. Many will find useful information in this book that will help them learn how to prioritize self-care and find balance in their lives. Williams provides her own narration, allowing readers an extra layer of depth.

I received a complementary advance listener's copy from NetGalley and MacmillanAudio. My review is my own.

#MacAudio2025 #MacmillanAudio

In *How to Stop Trying*, Kate Williams delivers a sharp, insightful critique of hustle culture and the exhausting pressure to constantly strive for more. With a mix of cultural analysis, personal experience, and humor, she explores how women, in particular, are conditioned to equate their worth with productivity—whether in work, relationships, or self-care. Through candid reflections and thoughtful arguments, Williams encourages readers to step away from overachievement and embrace a life defined by fulfillment rather than effort. Both eye-opening and empowering, this book offers a refreshing perspective on letting go and reclaiming balance.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this eARC in audiobook format.

Kate Williams’ "How to Stop Trying: An Overachiever’s Guide to Self-Acceptance, Letting Go, and Other Impossible Things" is an introspective and refreshingly relatable guide for anyone caught in the relentless cycle of striving for perfection. With equal parts humor, vulnerability, and practical wisdom, Williams challenges the overachiever’s mindset and offers a roadmap to rediscover joy, balance, and authenticity.

From the very first page, Williams’ voice feels like that of a compassionate friend who knows your struggles all too well. She candidly shares her own battles with perfectionism and burnout, blending personal anecdotes with a deep understanding of psychological and cultural forces that drive overachievers. Her honesty is disarming, creating a sense of shared experience that makes the book as much a conversation as it is a guide.

Structurally, the book is divided into manageable sections, each tackling a specific aspect of the overachiever’s dilemma: the fear of failure, the pressure to please, and the difficulty of saying no. Williams offers actionable advice without ever sounding preachy, weaving in mindfulness practices, self-reflection exercises, and tangible strategies for setting boundaries and redefining success.

What sets "How to Stop Trying" apart is its nuanced approach to self-acceptance. Williams doesn’t sugarcoat the difficulty of letting go or dismiss the value of ambition. Instead, she redefines what it means to “try,” encouraging readers to channel their energy toward pursuits that genuinely align with their values and passions. Her emphasis on progress over perfection is liberating, reminding us that it’s okay—necessary, even—to stumble along the way.

The book’s tone is light and conversational, yet deeply insightful. Williams has a knack for using humor to soften hard truths, making even the most daunting aspects of change feel approachable. Her metaphors and real-life examples bring her insights to life, ensuring they resonate long after the final page.

For anyone feeling trapped in the pursuit of “enough,” "How to Stop Trying" is a must-read. It’s not just a self-help book—it’s a permission slip to be human, to embrace the messy, imperfect process of growth, and to find peace in simply being. Williams has crafted a guide that is both deeply personal and universally relevant, offering overachievers not just a way forward, but a way to finally exhale.

I enjoyed this one a lot! Good listen on audio! It's self help, but from a 'Take care of yourself' perspective. We can't do everything for everyone.

I don't know why I requested a self-help book. These are just not for me. I'm sure others will like this, but this was just not for me.

Thank you NetGalley and Publisher for allowing me to read and review this book.

Enjoyable read by an author with a finger on the pulse of hustle culture.

Oh how timely this book was in finding me. I've heard it all before, you can't fill from an empty cup, you can't light others lives when you're burnt out. I can't promise this book will fix me but it was a very relatable reminder that we really can't do it all but we can choose to prioritize ourselves and things that actually matter.

🎧Thank you to NetGalley for an audiobook ARC of this book. How to stop trying is a self-help/memoir that aims to help overachieving women recognize the harm in patriarchal messages that tell us we need to be perfect and we can never give up.

The author narrates the book and does an excellent job pointing out how damaging it is for women to think we have to go at everything alone and achieve this mystical perfect life of “having it all.” She writes a lot about her struggle to breastfeed her first child, her inability to conceive a second, and her journey in learning about her clinical depression.

As someone who never plans to have children, it was a good insight for me into how much shame is put on young mothers, how awful postpartum depression is, and how difficult it is to give up on your dreams due to infertility issues.

The part of the book that really challenged my previous beliefs was where she talked about how many negative emotions we tend to have towards our mothers when maybe our mothers were taking on the bulk of parenting/emotional labor and the anxieties about their kids that we end up viewing them through an internalized misogynistic lens. I had never considered that.

Overall this book was an easy read and a good reflection on the ways in which the patriarchy forces us to feel like we can never “give up” even when it’s in our best interest to just stop trying.

I voluntarily listened to and reviewed an advanced copy of this audiobook. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley!

While it’s not really alluded to in the title, this book is heavily geared towards women (more specifically mothers). I am a mom so I had no problems relating to the content. Through personal stories and other anecdotes, the author discusses how culture and other outside forces shaped the need to constantly push ourselves to do and be better.

The book is less of a “how to guide” and more of a motivational situation. The chapters do build on each other, so you can’t pick and choose which parts to read like a typical self help book.

The author does read the audiobook. I always find it more enjoyable, for non-fiction, when an author reads their own book.

How to Stop Trying by Kate Williams

If you are a Gen Z or Millennial Woman, you need to read this book.

A must read if you like: Books that make you think, Brené Brown, Social Commentary, and rejection of toxic positivity.

A raw, first hand, introspective look on what happens in the heads of Millennial woman as we try to navigate the world shifting under our feet. No topic is too tough. From breastfeeding, miscarriage, misogyny, mental health, overachieving, and more, Kate Williams takes it on and puts it in a new perspective.

Content Warnings: Miscarriage, Sexism, Misogyny

Most self help books have truths, but this one rang true in nearly every single case. She takes a floodlight to the parts of Millennial women's lives we rarely think about, but that impacts our day to day life. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who wants to figure out why Millennial women are the way we are.

I love non-fiction read by the author and this was no exception.

This book is the authors life and how she learned to have self acceptance, search for help to work through Post Partum and mental health and not let every day life suck the total life out of you. The beginning might be a trigger as it deals with miscarriages, ivf, and post partum depression.
She uses humor and her wit sharing her stories which are very relatable
While you will find hope from how she gets help for issues, you won't find follow up steps for "How to Stop Trying" that you can work through to make a change in your life. You will find permission to give yourself grace, prioritize your mental health and rest. You do have a right to be happy no matter what that looks like for you.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the audiobook arc.

If you are obsessed with hustle culture, girlbossing, and the daily grind, “How to Stop Trying” is for you! I loved the audiobook version. I want to get a physical copy so I can highlight my favorite parts. It’s a perfect look into the crazy expectations placed on women in every aspect of our lives and how to fight back against them.

Being an overachiever is so hard to fight against, especially when fighting is all you know. Kate does a beautiful job of layering personal stories, experiences with broader themes, and truth bombs, to give color to this memoir/self-help book. The lesson of valuing yourself even when we aren’t “perfect” is so important in an ever-fast-paced world that seems to be moving the goalposts every half second. A great follow-up to this book would be “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. That book continues Kate’s sentiment of it not being our job to try and change society’s perception of us, just how we feel about it, and still show up in the world.

Thank you to #NetGalley for a review copy of #HowToStopTrying. All feedback is my unbiased opinion, not paid, and simply for the love of books.

3.5 stars.

How to Stop Trying leans more memoir than self-help, offering perspectives and insights born from Kate Williams’ unflinching self-reflection. Admirably, she shares her experiences with many silent struggles women face, including miscarriage and postpartum depression, bringing honesty to topics often left in the shadows. Through humor and vulnerability, she explores the pressures of overachievement and hustle culture, particularly for women.

The book shines in its relatable, real stories that challenge the narratives women tell themselves about success and self-worth. While the insights are thought-provoking, the structure can feel repetitive, and those looking for a structured self-help guide may find it lacking. Still, for readers who appreciate personal storytelling as a means of reflection, this is a validating and engaging read.

Thank you to the author, Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for an audio copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book was both timely and extremely relevant to various stages of my life. As a woman, an eldest daughter, and a mother I feel like life is always demanding more, and I know I am not alone. There are always emails to answer, laundry to fold, gifts to buy, and the list goes on and on. But all of this is overwhelming and we are mentally suffering because of the demands that not only society places on us, but in many cases the demands we place on ourselves.

This book takes a reflective look at what we ask of ourselves and explores whether this is actually warranted or whether we should just back off. Would we be better off if we just didn't care and let things happen around us? This is specifically analyzed throughout the book from a parent's perspective to discuss the absurd expectations on, for example, children's birthday parties and extracurricular activities. But the book also explores infertility, which is far more common than we as a society acknowledge, yet we ostracize women and make them feel like they didn't try hard enough or want it bad enough. This book focuses on accepting what we can't control, but also accepting what is enough to control.

At first I wasn't certain about this book. The topic was one that deeply connected with me, as a millennial woman who was diagnosed with infertility and then when I finally was able to conceive struggled with post-partum depression. What eventually struck me about the book was the subtleness in which it incorporates many techniques commonly used by therapists without the author explicitly saying this is what she was doing. There were many phrases and concepts that I had heard in my own group sessions during the pandemic with other new moms. Concepts and methods to deal with loss and regret and moving forward. Acceptance of the current situation. So yes, I do think there is some good meat to this book. However, this book skews heavily into motherhood as a topic and almost entirely focuses around it for a majority of the book. So if that isn't something you are particularly interested in, maybe this book isn't for you.

The narration of the book was done by the author herself. Her tone was soothing and comforting but also full of emotion and passion. I really enjoyed the narration and listening to the book felt like a journey that I was taking with the author. I'm not certain I felt like I could handle life better afterwards, but I definitely didn't feel as alone.

*I would like to thank the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*