Put Your Past in the Past by Beverly Engel is an empowering guide to breaking free from the cycles of trauma that silently shape our lives. Engel skillfully unpacks the hidden forces behind self-destructive patterns, offering readers the tools to uncover, confront, and heal their unprocessed wounds. Through practical exercises and deeply compassionate insights, the book shines a light on how past experiences influence present behaviors, often without our awareness. Engel provides a pathway for readers to gain clarity, rebuild their self-worth, and create healthier relationships by embracing self-compassion and understanding. With its blend of psychological depth and accessible strategies, this book serves as both a comforting companion and an actionable workbook for anyone stuck in repetitive, painful cycles. It’s a transformative resource for individuals seeking true and lasting healing from trauma. I highly recommend this insightful and supportive book to anyone ready to reclaim their life and step into a brighter, more empowered future.

Overall, the book was well written and I did really enjoy it. Thank you for this advance reading copy!

Beverly Engel has a gift for straight talk. This book is a revelation about the neglected and misunderstood topic of trauma reenactments. It offers explanations for inexplicable trauma reactions we are blind to due to the unconscious ways we handle, in her words, our “unfinished business”. She explores the impulses and compulsions we are doomed to repeat unless we take a brave look at why we are stuck in repetitive, self-destructive patterns. Her book makes that scary first step toward self-knowledge possible. She identifies and also provides guidance on how to heal unhelpful thought patterns through workbook-style questions at the end of chapters. She reminds us often to be kind to ourselves and how, in doing so, we free up space to be kind to others. She offers a plan to help ourselves stop living between our ears, either in a less than (not worthy) or more than (grandiose) persona that we think protects us, but in reality hurts us. Engel’s reminds us that our responses to trauma are not our fault anymore than the original trauma was. Shame causes us to numb out, sometimes leads to substance abuse, eating disorders, hypersexuality, and other unhelpful, recurrent coping mechanisms that echo the initial trauma. Self-destructive thought patterns keep us stuck and sinking in quicksand, an apt metaphor used by the author. She offers client’s stories, and her own, and guides us through exercises to help us work through what happened to us. She offers us the possibility to regain our true selves by first identifying and then putting a pause on chronic hurtful behaviors. Engel’s book is readable and she shows comprehensive knowledge about a myriad of unexpected reactions to trauma. She is expert at explaining these difficult concepts in an understandable way. This book is immensely helpful to all those who wonder where their incomprehensible repetitious behaviors come from or are unaware of them. Some readers will recognize them here for the first time. I am so glad to have found out how to identify where these sub-conscious impulses come from, in myself and in others. The understanding this book encourages opens up empathy toward those who suffer, even when their behavior seems to show an inability to care. It’s offers a new way out of self-judgement and judgement of others. It offers hope that we all have a path toward becoming more self-aware. She helps us to name the blocks that keep us stuck so we can get out of our own way. This book is a must-read for trauma survivors.

An important book about how to move past trauma without it defining one's thoughts or actions forever

(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

This was a very intense look at abuse and trauma. Well researched and written but really intense in regards to trauma. Anyone in the psychology field or education should read.