This is a mixture of memoir, social/cultural critique, and scientific research. I think this is a really important book with a fantastic message. I wanted a little less focus on personal anecdotes and historical context, and a little more focus on present-day discussions. But, overall, I really enjoyed what this book had to say and it was very thought-provoking. The narration was done really well and kept me engaged throughout.

First, I would like to thank Macmillan Audio, the author Nancy Reddy, and NetGalley for allowing me to preview this title before its publication date of January 21, 2025.

I had no idea what to expect going into this book so I was pleasantly surprised. The author explains the idea of "the good mother." This idea was formulated over a century ago and is still subscribed to even though it has been debunked over and over. The author weaves her own story of her journey into motherhood into the narrative of what is expected as a mother; how mothers are expected to do it all to have it all.

As an audiobook, the narration was wonderful and it did not feel as if I was being read to, but rather being spoken to.

I was highly recommend this book to any mother who has struggled to feel "good enough."

I read a lot of motherhood books, almost as validation for being a working mom, not because I have guilt, but because I like hearing the evolution of thoughts regarding parenting. Some of the “research” in this one was new to me and I always love hearing one’s experiences including differences between pregnancies/births/newborns in the same family.

I’m debating when I think the best time would be for an expectant “mother” to read this book and I truly cannot decide. Maybe in the early stages of planning, when your mind is still clear and you can have realistic conversations with your partner. Maybe best for the non birthing partner to read it first…

Really interesting take on the journey of modern motherhood. While not a mother yet, this felt very relatable. The author does a great job of bringing up issues that have been problematic for parents in the past and made them feel so normal. Shining a light on these topics allows parents to release the burden of thinking they are alone and empowers them to know others are facing the same issues.

Thank you to #netgalley and #nancyReddy for providing this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

I picked this one up for the social science side and ended up enjoying the memoir side even more! The Good Mother Myth is an excellent and obviously well-researched read that debunks the many myths prevalent in society about what it means to be a “good mother.” Nancy Reddy details her personal experiences in a completely raw, refreshingly honest and authentic manner, while simultaneously digging into the sloppy research and so-called “studies” (largely conducted by men) that have instilled society’s overbearing expectations of mothers.

I especially appreciated this read as a woman who wants to eventually have kids, but also has a strong desire for a career. It is so refreshing to not only hear someone saying “you can absolutely do both,” but also providing the science behind why women like myself (unfortunately) even question whether both is possible, and how to approach and shift this way of thinking. The Good Mother Myth is a great read for women and men alike and serves as an excellent first step in reframing how we as a society consider parenthood.

Thank you to Nancy Reddy, Macmillan Audio, & NetGalley for the ARC! All opinions are my own.

I want to give this book ALL THE STARS. As a new mom, this is exactly the book I've been looking for. So many things about motherhood so far have infuriated me. Reddy traces the history of bad ideas about motherhood and what it means to be a good mom in our society, and how a lot of those ideas are founded on pretty crappy science, often done by white male researchers who were mediocre (at best) dads and ignored the women around them who tried to give them feedback/insights on what being a parent is actually like. Woof.

There were a lot of great lines in this book that made me laugh or want to applaud (if I weren't bottle feeding my 7 month old while listening to the audiobook). Reddy also does an excellent job blending in some of her personal experiences, particularly during the newborn trenches with her first, who was a screamy, difficult to soothe baby (can relate).

Her musings about love, especially toward the end, were profound and moving. She says that we don't care for our babies because we love them, we love them because we spend so much time caring for them. And that love is something we build together, every day, through connection, failures, and repairs. I love that. It ties in perfectly with Motherbrain, that points out we don't have some mothering instinct that flips on biologically like a switch--any caregiver can learn it through practice and experience. Yes! I'm so grateful that this book exists.

This was funny and informative as well as totally relatable for any Mom dealing with the same worry that they are not a good Mom.

This readable, relatable, and engaging book explores motherhood through scientific, social, and personal lenses. All three point to the conclusion that the contemporary idea of the mother being solely and wholey responsible for the wellbeing of their children is a disservice to all. Children and mothers do best in a supportive community

This book makes so many important and encouraging points that every mom needs to hear - and frankly, points that society needs to hear about moms, too. So much of Reddy's personal reflections on the early days of motherhood resonated with me: both the difficulties of having a newborn and the deep love for her baby. I would also like to add that, having listened to the audiobook, the audio was excellent!

However, I was disappointed by the logical fallacies present in Reddy's writing. For example, she engages in ad hominem attacks against multiple researchers because they were bad or absent fathers, but that doesn't mean that their research about mothering is invalid. While I recognize how ironic and depressing that is, Reddy did better to mention elsewhere the lack of validity in some research methodology; that is a much stronger argument. She also talks about women in the U.S. being "forced" to be mothers, which is horrific if true - but here, birth control is widely available, and only the most fringe Republicans would ban abortion in the case of the life of the mother, rape, or incest.

Furthermore, though I hate to use this pun, I feel Reddy "threw the baby out with the bathwater" in places. Most notably, she wrote children "don't need a good mother. They just need love." (I listened to the audiobook, so there may have been scare quotes around the word '"good," and I also received an advanced review copy, so it is entirely possible that the phrasing of this quote might have changed by the time of publication.) Kids absolutely DO need good parents (as Reddy pointed out in bemoaning many researchers' failings as fathers), and love is the basis for that, but not the only aspect of good parenting.

All of that said, this book will still allow many mothers to breathe a little bit easier, knowing that they're not about to ruin their child's wellbeing forever just for, say, sleep training if a pediatrician says it's safe to do so. Moms have it hard enough, so kudos to Reddy for being so transparent about her parenting experience and for undertaking such a large project to put other parents at ease. Writing a book Is a huge accomplishment, even more so when you are a parent.

Though this book has some missteps, it is overall a powerful and important read. I recommend it to readers who are willing to take some of what it says with a grain of salt. It's an encouraging read for moms - but also a helpful read for anyone who might feel tempted to judge a parent "not good enough" just for something like putting a child in day care so both parents can work. If new moms like me can make time to read or listen to this book, I believe it will help us to survive and also to thrive as mothers.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and MacMillan audio for the free advanced review audiobook. I post this review with my honest opinions.
This review will be cross-posted to Goodreads and Amazon.

I needed this. I have spend the last 22 years feeling unending guilt because I read all the old school research on attachment theory and I ended up with a child "with attachment" issues.
Even when a psychologist explained that attachment involves both parties I still beat myself up for mothering wrong, because of course I needed to be perfect.
Then after I had my twins I tried and tried to be perfect but with two infants you spend years in survival mode.
Anyway, motherhood is a lot more fun with friends and when you don't take it all so seriously.
This book made me cry and feel all the feels and I highly recommend it to all mothers.

This was superb and much needed. The balance of non fiction to memoir was perfect. For those not interested in research, it may be less engaging at times for them but it was perfect for me. I am glad so she dug into the good mother myth.

This was a fantastic and intelligent mix of memoir and cultural critique of the burdens faced and placed on mothers to be more than 'good enough.' The author shares about her postpartum struggles while trying to balance working on her PhD with motherhood and always feeling like she was never good enough. Highly relatable and filled with research based facts to balance out her personal observations. This was insightful and interesting and will speak to all those trying to balance child care with paid employment. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!