“Renegade Grief: A Guide to the Wild Ride After Life and Loss” (Simon & Schuster, 2025) explores the United States' current understanding of grief, especially regarding the experience of young adults. Carla Fernandez, co-founder of The Dinner Party, intersperses her own account of losing her father when she was nineteen years old with valuable insight into the limited availability of grief support in America and the universality of grief.

Instead of continuing to support our death-denying culture and stuffing grief into her back pockets, Fernandez co-developed The Dinner Party: a community of young grievers (ages 21-45) who support one another in peer-led groups of ten to fifteen people.

As a gerontologist and grief support specialist, I can attest that many grief groups focus on the loss of a spouse, and the age range predominantly is 65+.

Additional highlights of “Renegade Grief” (and the resource-friendly The Dinner Party website) include how to build an altar or integrate grief rituals, what other cultures do to explore their own grief and loss, “grief questing,” and best practices to become a good grief friend.

Thank you to Carla Fernandez, Simon & Schuster, and NetGalley for the eARC!

I won’t be publicly reviewing this book since it was not a good fit for me. It will be a great fit for people able to connect with other grieving people in dinners and such and for people who want an esoteric look at grieving in a creative way in general. But this is not a book for when you are utterly paralyzed with loss and incapable of reading deep thoughts or organizing get togethers. I am not able to turn my mourning into a community event or to be social about it even though I desperately wish I were that kind of person so I am still dealing with my grief alone.

Renegade Grief: A Guide to the Wild Ride of Life after Loss by Carla Fernandez isn’t just a theoretical case of the author walking people through grief, she lost her father. There isn’t a one size fits all method for dealing with grief but it was interesting to read about the different ways there are to talk about grief whether as a Dinner Party, one on one, or via social media. What we don’t want to do is deny what happened and keep it in and wait for it to go away. We just have to figure out what works for us. There were many suggestions to help you find your way on this journey.

Thank you to the author, Simon & Schuster, and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) copy of this book and I am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

I found that this is a book that will help many people especially with all the lost we've had over the last decades. This is a wonderful book that will guide all of us on how to deal with our grief. The steps that we can take and the groups that will help many talk about the love ones that they've lost. I love how the author show how she dealt with the lost of her father and all the ways she found that helped. As someone who has lost many in the last ten years, this book help me to a lot. I wish this book came out sooner so I could have been aware of The Dinner Party group, who is a group that helps others deal with there grief.

I want to thank Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for an advance copy of this valuable book about how we can deal with our grief.

Carla Fernandez’s Renegade Grief is a deeply personal, raw, and revolutionary take on grief—one that challenges traditional mourning norms and offers a liberating perspective for those navigating loss. Fernandez, co-founder of The Dinner Party, brings her firsthand experience with grief into a book that is equal parts guide, manifesto, and heartfelt conversation.

Unlike conventional grief books that follow structured stages, Renegade Grief embraces the messiness of mourning, acknowledging that grief doesn’t fit into neat timelines. Fernandez gives readers permission to grieve on their own terms, rejecting societal expectations that often leave people feeling isolated or judged. Through a mix of personal anecdotes, cultural critiques, and practical tools, she encourages readers to redefine their relationship with loss.

One of the book’s most powerful aspects is its emphasis on community and connection. Fernandez highlights the importance of finding spaces—both in-person and online—where people can grieve without pressure or judgment. She also addresses the role of systemic issues in grief, including workplace bereavement policies and the lack of communal support in modern society.

Renegade Grief is not a step-by-step manual, but rather a companion for anyone feeling like their grief doesn’t fit the mold. It’s an invitation to grieve in a way that feels right for you—whether that means breaking traditions, redefining rituals, or simply sitting with your feelings without expectation.

With its honest and empowering approach, this book is a must-read for anyone seeking validation and freedom in their grief journey.

This book was so helpful! I lost my dad in March and grief hits me in waves at all different times. Carla’s suggestions for remembering loved one and coping with loss and grief are abundant. I’ll be suggesting this to so many. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.