Dark, disturbing, and definitely not your typical horror. LaRocca trades jump scares for slow, psychological dread as the story follows a protagonist unraveling under the weight of self-loathing and a strange nighttime transformation.

Andrew Eiden’s narration fits the eerie, disorienting vibe perfectly, but some parts felt too abstract to fully land. A solid, unsettling listen. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

At Dark, I Become Loathsome is unsettling, poetic, and disturbingly intimate. Eric LaRocca masterfully blends horror and beauty, crafting stories that crawl under your skin and stay there. Each piece is a descent into darkness that’s impossible to look away from.

𝐀𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐈 𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 🪏
𝐛𝐲: Eric LaRocca

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛: "If you're reading this, you've likely thought that the world would be a better place without you."
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same--and worse--in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him--it's for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx--a potential candidate for Ashley's next ritual--who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.

𝐐𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞: “The world is nothing but a carnivorous plant, that devours the things that are the softest and most delicate.”

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: I’m gonna say Ashley. He has had so much trauma and is trying to figure out the best path to take. It’s definitely the most absolute crazy path you could take, but wow is it interesting! I love the in your face truth of horror/trauma! When learning about yourself and trying to “write our wrongs” we are all just doing what we think is right/best.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝: I was truly enthralled with this book! As a newer horror reader I’m never disappointed by Eric’s symbolism and truth to deep trauma! As someone who has been through quite a bit myself, Eric’s books help to make you feel not alone in this big, big world. Thank you 🫶🏻

So many thanks to blackstone publishing-audiobooks, Big Bald Head, and Eric LaRocca for this opportunity!

#AtDarkIBecomeLoathsome #NetGalley

This isn't a book for the faint of heart, nor for those seeking traditional scares. LaRocca's horror is often internal, a creeping dread that seeps into the reader's mind rather than jumping out from the shadows. The narrative follows a protagonist grappling with a profound sense of self-loathing and a disturbing transformation that occurs under the cloak of night. LaRocca masterfully blurs the lines between reality and delusion, forcing the reader to question the reliability of the narrator and the true nature of the horrors unfolding.

Unfortunately I just ould not get into the story. There were too many storylines going on at once and I ould not get myself to be interested in the protagonists character or his story arc.

I'm all for gore and weird shit and I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to read this book but I cannot stress enough how hard my opinion shifted with the introduction of the cancer blog post. This read like an annoyingly repetitive creepy pasta as it was and like others I found myself rolling my eyes after the 3rd time the title, piercings or the self-deprecating whining kicked back up.

Then a 5th of the way through it just goes from weird to lowkey disgusting and there's not enough time in the world for me to waste on the awful sex scenes and horrible ending that others are warning about.

Someone check on this man.

There is a beauty in the language of this book. The characters are full and round, but the plot could be more ineresting.

Creepy creepy creepy! I’ve never not been freaked out after reading an Eric LaRocca book.

(Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the audio ARC in exchange for my honest review.)

This was such an amazing novel! It was my first by Eric and it did not DISAPPOINT!

I loved the narrator and all the jarring stories and perspectives! This really was a masterpiece and if you don’t have any triggers I highly recommend going in as blind as I did!

The twists and turns in this had going insane.

Where is Bailey? Who are these side characters? What is the importance? Am I crazy or is the author?

And yes to all of the above!!

This was my first Eric LaRocca book and I knew it would be gross/dark/gory, etc. But the actual story, it didn't make a whole lot of sense. Did not enjoy.

LaRocca is excellent at making his readers uncomfortable while creating an intense amount of dread in with his writing. This book was no different. LaRocca's books ride the line of extreme horror really well, so even fans of horror can still enjoy his work without being too grossed out.

Wow! What can I say about this book that hasn’t already been said! This book was dark, disturbing, and yet I was fascinated. Not for the faint at heart! Author Eric LaRocca has the ability to write horror beyond the norm, which is a feat all its own! Thank you NetGalley for the advance chance to listen to this horrifying dark twisted audiobook!

This was my first horror/splatterpunk and first read by Eric LaRocca and I am both deeply disturbed and impressed. I really liked a lot of the themes here (i.e., identity, sexuality, death, grief) and the way that LaRocca (and narrator) really pulls the reader in. That said, it felt a bit much at first and I almost considered DNFing because I wasn't sure I could push through. For a few reasons: it was honestly a bit of a difficult read/listen topically and, while the narrator was a perfect fit, it got a bit overwhelming listening to him at times. If you want to read something that is both lyrically written and deep, dark, and grotesque, this might be right up your alley. Definitely check the TWs first though!
Thank you to NetGalley, Blackstone Publishing, and Eric LaRocca for the advance listening copy in exchange for an honest review!
___
TW: blood, gore, depression, anxiety, suicide attempt, homophobia, child loss, grieving, mourning, animal abuse, animal death, drug use, cancer, CSA, and probably more tbh

This was the darkest thing I’ve read in a long time and it seems like that is saying a lot. Honestly, I am not sure I could describe this and do anything but downplay what it accomplished. It’s weird, creepy, wrong. But I really enjoyed it anyway. Five stars for the narration as well— perfect for this slimy little gem of a book.

It is with a heaving chest and frantic mind, that I scream 5 STARS!

oK, all jokes aside, this wont be for everyone and thats ok. This is dark, its gritty, its like a snuff film on page, its a panic, its got all the beats that make LaRocca the powerhouse he is. This is eccentric, its shocking. It is audacious and it is violent. Eric LaRocca cements himself amongst titans.

Thank you Netgalley for the advanced audio of this incredible read

This was my first LaRocca read and I really enjoyed it. It was deep, dark, and disturbing. About a man struggling to define himself and his desire to help others do the same. Contains lots of harsh sexual descriptions. I will definitely be reading more of his novels.

This book was so dark. It almost put me in a weird type of vibe. This is my very first what I consider horror/splatterpunk read I'm usually a thriller. It did not disappoint it will definitely put you in your feels. It's very poetic and eclectic read.

This book is a haunting exploration of the grotesque wrapped in lush, almost lyrical prose. LaRocca’s writing is elegant and poetic, with a grace that contrasts sharply against the dark and often disturbing imagery that unfolds throughout the story. The beauty of his language, full of intricate descriptions and poignant reflections, creates a stark juxtaposition to the horrors the characters experience. The audiobook’s narrator, Andrew Eiden does an excellent job at emoting Ashley Lutin’s turmoil throughout the book. I don’t usually like audiobooks but he truly made LaRocca’s twisted world come alive.

The novel’s chilling events—ranging from psychological torment to physical grotesqueries—are presented with a sense of eerie calmness, making the brutality all the more unsettling. LaRocca’s careful attention to detail in crafting these disturbing scenes only enhances their impact, as the reader is drawn into a world where beauty and terror coexist in an almost surreal harmony. The seamless blending of the poetic with the horrific turns each disturbing moment into something both grotesque and mesmerizing.

This juxtaposition is not just a stylistic choice but also deepens the emotional weight of the narrative. As Ashley grapples with his own loathing and despair, the elegance of the prose makes his suffering even more tragic. At Night, I Become Loathsome is a masterclass in how beauty can amplify horror, creating a truly unsettling and unforgettable reading experience. I highly recommend purchasing this as an audiobook for the ultimate reading experience.

*Thank you so much to NetGalley & Blackstone Publishing for the audiobook copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

Eric LaRocca always HITS!!

Ashley Lutin, consumed by grief after losing his wife and son, initiates a dark ritual, gathering vulnerable strangers and demanding their absolute trust. Eric LaRocca's writing is a masterclass in contrasts, shifting seamlessly between lyrical beauty and shocking brutality. The novel delves into the characters' struggles with grief, darkness, and sexuality, with a raw intensity that demands trigger warnings.
While the pacing felt slightly rushed, leaving me wanting deeper character development, the unsettling atmosphere and emotional impact were undeniably effective.

Thank you NetGalley, Eric LaRocca and Blackstone Publishing.

This was a super interesting read. It didn't follow a conventional path of horror and normally I hate when an author tries to reinvent the wheel but I actually really enjoyed this book.

The only issue I had was it was a quick audiobook and the amount of times the title was repeated like a mantra was a bit much.

I thought the main character was really well written but I struggled with the rationale of the ending. It seemed odd to me and I couldn't find a way understand it. I know sometimes we aren't meant to understand but it left me feeling dissatisifed and that really irked me.

I felt the bones of the book were really great and theres real talent in the writing.

3.75 stars