At Dark I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca is a chilling exploration of grief that plunges into the darkest recesses of human nature. LaRocca exposes some of the most twisted secrets the human mind can harbor, crafting a narrative where the true monster is, ultimately, human. This is not a book for the faint of heart—every possible trigger is present, making it an unsettling experience for even the most seasoned readers.

The prose is hauntingly beautiful, with some descriptions verging on poetic in their melancholy. While splatterpunk may not be my usual genre, I can’t deny that LaRocca executes it with masterful precision. The audiobook narrator also elevates the experience, adding layers of depth to the story.

Thank you to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for providing an advanced copy of this audiobook.

3.5 stars rounded up. I always like when a horror audiobook is short enough and engaging enough to listen to in one sitting. The narrator of the audiobook was good, but I'd recommend reading a physical copy or ebook over the audiobook anyway because of the format of the actual story itself (in one chapter there's the same username said over and over and over and over throughout a story being told by a character and it became quite distracting and made it harder to follow that part). The ending was pretty predictable for me, but still satisfying. Parts felt dragged out and then I didn't feel like the plot really lived up to its potential with the end feeling rushed by comparison. I felt like the plot could have gone further, but at the same time I do love a short horror book.

If you’ve read anything else by Eric LaRocca, you already know what to expect here. This story was very well written, and as Eric does best, it’s a very disturbing story. I always enjoy reading Eric’s work, even if I don’t end up loving the story. This one, I did really enjoy, though.

The story starts with Ashley, who lost his son and whose wife died. In order to help other people cope with similar trauma, Ashley offers an unusual grieving/healing service. This service leads him to another man, and the story progresses to show the impact of their union. The concept was interesting and it showcased some of the darkest fantasies that man can have.

Beware of disturbing, gross, and explicit descriptions of scenes throughout this book. If you don’t have a high tolerance for any of the above, this will not be the book for you. Also, do check the trigger warnings.

Thank you, NetGalley, Eric LaRocca, and Blackstone Publishing for granting me access to this audiobook.

TW: death, cancer, suicidal thoughts, animal cruelty, animal death, cannibalism, murder, grief, pedophilia, child death, body horror, homophobia, rape, sexual assault, kidnapping, gore, grief, sexual assault

I was obsessed with this narrator right off of the bat. His voice has the perfect amount of eeriness to it to tell such a story. I’m not entirely sure if this story is best suited for audio due to some unique formatting/lots of repetition in sections but he still did an amazing job. This was an eventful romp into the darker parts of humanity. I love stories that are rooted in grief and the many ways it manifests itself.

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I think this is the first time a MC in a LaRocca story at least attempted to improve themselves. That was honestly unexpected and kept me on my toes.

Eric LaRocca’s At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a deeply unsettling and intensely atmospheric horror novel that delves into the darkest corners of the human psyche. This is a story that refuses to shy away from brutality, offering a chilling exploration of fear, guilt, and the macabre.

From the outset, LaRocca sets a tone that is as haunting as it is gripping, immersing readers in a narrative filled with dread and unease. The prose is evocative, painting vivid and often disturbing imagery that lingers long after the final page. However, a word of caution: this novel contains scenes that may be particularly distressing for animal lovers, as certain moments are harrowing and emotionally difficult to endure.

For those who can weather its more graphic elements, At Dark, I Become Loathsome rewards readers with a masterful blend of psychological and supernatural horror. LaRocca crafts a narrative that is as much about the horrors within as it is about external threats, creating layers of creepiness that keep the story compelling and unpredictable.

The strength of the novel lies in its ability to evoke genuine discomfort and unease while maintaining a narrative that is gripping and well-paced. LaRocca’s command of the horror genre is evident, as he skillfully balances shock value with deeper, more thought-provoking themes.

This is not a book for the faint of heart, but for fans of dark, boundary-pushing horror, At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a standout entry in the genre. Eric LaRocca continues to prove himself as a bold and uncompromising voice in modern horror fiction.

As a massive fan of Eric LaRocca, I was crazy excited to get the audiobook arc for his newest novel, At Dark, I Become Loathsome and I knew from a from a few early reviews that I was in for a seriously wild ride.

To say that my jaw dropped numerous times is an understatement. This one is truly raw, unflinching and very descriptive. If you’ve read LaRocca’s past novels and/or collections - be prepared for 10x the Punch!

Andrew Eiden does a superb job narrating this graphic and intense grief filled horror story. His portrayal of the grief stricken and deranged mc Ashley is impeccable.

Eric LaRoca is a good writer, the prose aren't bad at all. I read some of his previous work and loved them... Except this one.
IMO this is gross just for the sake of being gross. It is so ethically gross and disturbing that I'm questioning the purpose of the book AND the intention of Eric himself.

Thank you net galley for the advanced copy.

I thought the first scene was terrifying and amazing. I liked the rest of it less. Okay, it's splatterpunk, but that didn't for me excuse some of its repetitive excesses. That said I liked narrator Andrew Eiden quite a lot

DNF. I thought I was a horror fan, but this book proved me wrong. 36% in, I was physically ill and afraid how much worse the remainder would be, imagined my own nightmares and couldn't inflict that trauma on myself just to finish this book. Still feeling sick to my stomach.

I have been reading my way through Eric LaRoccas books and this new one is another hit! The story of Ashley Lutin who lost his wife and after, his young son was kidnapped. After time of dealing with his grief he comes up with an odd reborn ritual that people seek to be renewed and feel less pain. This was a tough story to listen to. It’s very dark and very descriptive of what happens when he finally is told what happened to his child.

The grief he is constantly dealing with from his family being gone is so thick and it has extreme changed on him. I listen to the audiobook and the narrator was amazing. There were brief moments that I thought were going to be too unbearable, but it was not too much to keep me listening. I felt a lot of sadness for the main character at the end. Over all I enjoyed the book and will continue to read his other works.

At Dark I Become Loathsome is Eric Larocca at his best.
I think this is his most accessible book to date.

Dark and dreamlike, I found myself unable to stop until I'd finished and, after finishing the last page, I found that my mind was too disturbed to go to sleep ... my comforter was giving coffin vibes, and I wasn't into it. I just needed to move and stretch. This is a hard book to put down, and even harder to shake off. At Dark I Become Loathsome IS loathsome. And lonely. And lovely.

4.25 / 5

This book is really quite something. Not for the faint of heart by any means, and pushing the boundaries in a way that makes the reader uncomfortable (but that's the point with extreme horror, isn't it?), but a tour de force in many respects.

In a straightforward, direct style it's a meditation on grief and trauma and the extremities to which those things can shape the mind and people's actions. There are sub-stories within the main narrative to show there are monsters out there, and they're human (at one point the lead POV, Ashely, says something along the lines of "it could be worse").

It also delves into guilt and repression, and how they can manifest in destructive ways, which as the book explores can be very, very dark indeed.

There is a lot graphic shocking horror wrapped up in a short amount of space and LaRocca kept it going from the start, right until the very end. I really enjoyed the narrator and found that he really pulled me into the story easily. One you really need to check triggers on before you dive into, but definitely promises to be a wild ride.

First, this was truly horrific. The body horror was absolutely there, and it nearly worked for me.

Unfortunately, I found the narrator a bit insufferable. It reminded me a bit if Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way was a 40 year old male serial killer and had me laughing out loud on occasion. If this would have been told with a little less of an edgy incel vibe, I could have totally loved it.

Horror is one of the more subjective genres, and I've loved Eric LaRocca before, and I will continue to read him in the future.

What an insane story. I love this author and his blend of horror never disappoints. This one was extremely dark and full of intense moments that I will not forget.

I received an audio copy of this book. I think the narrator did a great job.

I did find a couple of aspects of the book quite repetitive, which is why it's not 5 stars for me. For example, the narrator says the guys' scene name 100 times. I don't think it was necessary to the story, but as I don't have a physical copy of the book, I can't really judge. Repeating the name of book many times in the writing I can judge. Like since in the beginning and once at the end of the story would have been plenty.

However, I did rather enjoy the book. It's a great quick read. A lot is going on but it all kind of ties in. I will definitely be looking at other works by this author.

Well written. Did not care for the sexual violence, made it hard to get through. Will still try future titles by this author.

Tragic and depressing as always. I love LaRocca as I always know I am going to finish his books feeling awful but in the best possible way. I read this whole book over Christmas Eve and I just flat out ignored my family for this book. I can never recommend LaRocca enough and I will be eagerly awaiting the next book.

At Night I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca, narrated brilliantly in audiobook form, is a haunting and deeply unsettling experience that will stay with you long after the final words. LaRocca’s chilling prose comes alive through the skillful narration, pulling you into a dark, atmospheric world of psychological horror and introspection. The story, with its layers of disturbing themes and complex characters, is enhanced by the narrator’s perfect pacing and delivery, heightening the tension and unease. With every twist and turn, the audiobook captivates, making it an unforgettable listening experience for fans of horror and suspense. This is a must-listen for anyone who appreciates beautifully crafted, spine-tingling storytelling.

This is my favorite Eric LaRocca so far. I didn't expect with such horror to also end up so heartbroken. This book does contain a lot of themes that many people might want to avoid,, and never lets up with the feeling of doom and darkness. Right when I saw a glimmer of something that might have been light, it was snatched away. Thanks to NetGalley, I got to listen to the audiobook, in exchange for an honest review, and the narrator did an amazing performance, making it feel even darker. This kind of realistic horror stays with me.