Eric LaRocca is one of the most unique horror writers out there, today. The beauty with which he writes the most shocking and disturbing scenes you've ever read pulls you in, even when you want to look away.

"At Dark, I Become Loathsome," is a heavy hitting gut punch to add to LaRocca's growing body of expertly crafted, devastating, work. This story follows a grieving husband and father down a dark path to see just how far he'll go to try and find some sense of wholeness and healing.

The "stories within a story" approach to narrative often misses the mark for me and can feel tedious to try and follow, but it really worked well here. As with most of LaRocca's work, there were some really rough scenes in this book and trigger warnings should definitely be checked before diving in.

I would recommend this book to fans of horror who are looking for a very dark ride, with twists and turns that lead to a destination as bleak as the journey it took to get there.

LaRocca explores the darkest corners of grief and how it amplifies the quicksand of regret. How do you tackle your own demons when you're haunted by the people you loved and hurt in equal measure? This is not only another notch in the horror only LaRocca can write but also an evolution of his writing—in novel form—that earlier fans can get behind.

This guy is so obsessed with death. People hire him to perform death imitation rituals (like burying alive) and he sometimes takes it a bit too far. Part of his obsession comes from the abduction of his son years ago, and he can't let go. There is a lot of self harm ideation - as this is essentially the theme for the entire book so please check content warnings.

It's real depraved and has a few exceptionally gory scenes involving a household tool.

The audio is SO good. Because the writing style is very lyrical, I highly recommend listening. Plus Andrew Eiden (Teddy Hamilton) is the best narrator so that's an easy choice.

This is my favorite book by this author so far. Mainly because of the style of writing.

I think this is the most disgusting book I’ve ever read. I read LaRocca’s other book, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, and that was pretty gross, and I don’t know if I’m just blocking it out, but this one is way worse. That said, I should have known what I was getting into.

Let this be a warning: do not read this book if you have any inhibitions. It won’t be a fun time for you. On the flip side, if you want to be disturbed, this is the one.

It is quite an interesting plot. I don’t want to spoil anything but that part pulled me in. The writing is not quite as good as Poppy Z Brite, which I assume is an inspiration because it was quoted in the beginning. However, I do think the writing has improved since the last book of theirs that I read, and I like to see that.

I listened to the audiobook version, the narrator was great. However, I might not recommend it over the physical/ebook just because a lot of the book is written in online chats, so the usernames of whoever’s talking are repeated over and over.

The gross out stuff isn’t quite for me, so I have to take it down a bit for that on the rating, but obviously if that’s your thing, I think you’ll be happy with it. 3/5 stars.

*An uncorrected proof of this book was provided by the publisher at the reviewer’s request in exchange for a fair and uncompromising review.

Unfortunately, this book wasn’t for me. I love the narrator, and his narration on this book wasn’t as good as I could have expected. But the story itself was all over the place and felt a bit cliche and like it was trying too hard to be original. The username “SadBoy” that Ashley uses basically encapsulated my opinion by the end. I was a SadBoy from reading At Dark I Become Loathsome. And not in an actual sad way… in like a 2008 tumblr way.

At Dark I Become Loathsome
Eric LaRocca
01/28/2025
Blackstone Publishing
Andrew Eiden – Narrator

This book is the definition of transgressive horror. At Dark I Become Loathsome is unsettling, dark and horrific, creating an increasing sense of unease with the reader as you turn each page. Caging the reader in with less and less room to breathe. LaRocca uses horror to evoke intense emotions that include empathy, understanding and fear.

There are a lot of trigger warnings and social issues that will go along with this book. However, all of them are deftly handled in a way that that is truly stunning. LaRocca peels back layers of the heart and human psyche slowly and delicately to allow these emotions and traumatic events to flesh out and become real. This is a brutal and vivid. Be prepared to take a break to get over this one.

Thanks to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing - Audiobooks | Big Bald Head for an audio ARC of At Dark, I Become Loathsome in exchange for an honest review.

Rating: 5/5

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I loved this book. It's creepy and sad and essential. It's real and raw and brings up a lot of emotions from within. Glad that this book exists. Unsettling and uncomfortable in the way you want a horror book to be. I highly recommend it.

This was a very disturbing story with a very terrifying but intriguing concept (which was well executed).The main character was really interesting and u could really feel empathetic to him somehow. I really enjoyed the writing. It made it very atmospheric (in a dark way), but it also had repetitiveness. I recommend it if u want an unsettling read!

Classic LaRocca. What a treat to get a bonus story within this novella. This gave me what I've come to expect and look forward to from the author. The darkest material paired with such beautiful prose

Extremely bleak but very well written. It’s hard to summarize the plot and make it sound like something you would want to read, but if you like your horror very dark and bleak, this one’s for you. I enjoyed it, but definitely look into some warnings before reading.

This book is f*cked in all the right ways. Eric LaRocca made me uncomfortable in ways I’ve never thought possible. This story tugs at your heartstrings with loss but also gives you shivers down your spine with the actions that occur in this story. Ashley is an amazing protagonist who is experiencing loss while trying to cope in a unique way, only to discover things about himself that could only be thought of inside Eric LaRocca’s mind.

You’re in for a rollercoaster ride so you better hang on. This is LaRocca’s best book so far and one of the best books I’ve ever read.

Thank you to Blackstone Publishing for allowing me to get an early arc of the audiobook which is incredibly read by Andrew Eiden. His narration helped make this already horrifying story even more terrifying.

This book was very entertaining in a grotesque way. I highly recommend checking TWs before getting this one because it was dark. I was so fascinated by these characters and thier chaotic minds. Pick this one up if you wanna be horrified.

This is Eric LaRocca at their best. The subject was brutal and disturbing and I could not look away. For fans of their other works, you will not be disappointed. For those new to Eric’s books, prepare yourself to be squeamish and uncomfortable leading to an ultimate heartbreaking finish.

At Dark I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca is a chilling exploration of grief that plunges into the darkest recesses of human nature. LaRocca exposes some of the most twisted secrets the human mind can harbor, crafting a narrative where the true monster is, ultimately, human. This is not a book for the faint of heart—every possible trigger is present, making it an unsettling experience for even the most seasoned readers.

The prose is hauntingly beautiful, with some descriptions verging on poetic in their melancholy. While splatterpunk may not be my usual genre, I can’t deny that LaRocca executes it with masterful precision. The audiobook narrator also elevates the experience, adding layers of depth to the story.

Thank you to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for providing an advanced copy of this audiobook.

3.5 stars rounded up. I always like when a horror audiobook is short enough and engaging enough to listen to in one sitting. The narrator of the audiobook was good, but I'd recommend reading a physical copy or ebook over the audiobook anyway because of the format of the actual story itself (in one chapter there's the same username said over and over and over and over throughout a story being told by a character and it became quite distracting and made it harder to follow that part). The ending was pretty predictable for me, but still satisfying. Parts felt dragged out and then I didn't feel like the plot really lived up to its potential with the end feeling rushed by comparison. I felt like the plot could have gone further, but at the same time I do love a short horror book.

If you’ve read anything else by Eric LaRocca, you already know what to expect here. This story was very well written, and as Eric does best, it’s a very disturbing story. I always enjoy reading Eric’s work, even if I don’t end up loving the story. This one, I did really enjoy, though.

The story starts with Ashley, who lost his son and whose wife died. In order to help other people cope with similar trauma, Ashley offers an unusual grieving/healing service. This service leads him to another man, and the story progresses to show the impact of their union. The concept was interesting and it showcased some of the darkest fantasies that man can have.

Beware of disturbing, gross, and explicit descriptions of scenes throughout this book. If you don’t have a high tolerance for any of the above, this will not be the book for you. Also, do check the trigger warnings.

Thank you, NetGalley, Eric LaRocca, and Blackstone Publishing for granting me access to this audiobook.

TW: death, cancer, suicidal thoughts, animal cruelty, animal death, cannibalism, murder, grief, pedophilia, child death, body horror, homophobia, rape, sexual assault, kidnapping, gore, grief, sexual assault

I was obsessed with this narrator right off of the bat. His voice has the perfect amount of eeriness to it to tell such a story. I’m not entirely sure if this story is best suited for audio due to some unique formatting/lots of repetition in sections but he still did an amazing job. This was an eventful romp into the darker parts of humanity. I love stories that are rooted in grief and the many ways it manifests itself.

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I think this is the first time a MC in a LaRocca story at least attempted to improve themselves. That was honestly unexpected and kept me on my toes.

Eric LaRocca’s At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a deeply unsettling and intensely atmospheric horror novel that delves into the darkest corners of the human psyche. This is a story that refuses to shy away from brutality, offering a chilling exploration of fear, guilt, and the macabre.

From the outset, LaRocca sets a tone that is as haunting as it is gripping, immersing readers in a narrative filled with dread and unease. The prose is evocative, painting vivid and often disturbing imagery that lingers long after the final page. However, a word of caution: this novel contains scenes that may be particularly distressing for animal lovers, as certain moments are harrowing and emotionally difficult to endure.

For those who can weather its more graphic elements, At Dark, I Become Loathsome rewards readers with a masterful blend of psychological and supernatural horror. LaRocca crafts a narrative that is as much about the horrors within as it is about external threats, creating layers of creepiness that keep the story compelling and unpredictable.

The strength of the novel lies in its ability to evoke genuine discomfort and unease while maintaining a narrative that is gripping and well-paced. LaRocca’s command of the horror genre is evident, as he skillfully balances shock value with deeper, more thought-provoking themes.

This is not a book for the faint of heart, but for fans of dark, boundary-pushing horror, At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a standout entry in the genre. Eric LaRocca continues to prove himself as a bold and uncompromising voice in modern horror fiction.

As a massive fan of Eric LaRocca, I was crazy excited to get the audiobook arc for his newest novel, At Dark, I Become Loathsome and I knew from a from a few early reviews that I was in for a seriously wild ride.

To say that my jaw dropped numerous times is an understatement. This one is truly raw, unflinching and very descriptive. If you’ve read LaRocca’s past novels and/or collections - be prepared for 10x the Punch!

Andrew Eiden does a superb job narrating this graphic and intense grief filled horror story. His portrayal of the grief stricken and deranged mc Ashley is impeccable.

Eric LaRoca is a good writer, the prose aren't bad at all. I read some of his previous work and loved them... Except this one.
IMO this is gross just for the sake of being gross. It is so ethically gross and disturbing that I'm questioning the purpose of the book AND the intention of Eric himself.

Thank you net galley for the advanced copy.