Before I start, this book has some very complex scenes of self harm and drug use, which some readers may find triggering.

This was a complex read. It had so many elements. It was heavy and confronting and long. The ending felt rushed and didn't bring any closure to the story the protagonist, Brooke, had created for herself in Seattle.

It felt like a lot of back and forth, some unnecessary.
That being said, there were elements that are important. Showing the power of therapy, that it isn't something to laugh at, that everyone should go at some point in their life.

Fast paced, easy, flowing writing style.
I can see what the author was trying to do with this one, but for me, it didn't all meld together as it should have.

A bit too long and too much of unnecessary angst due to lack of communication. I liked the premise and the writing is good! Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Thank you Netgalley and Unbound | Neem Tree Press for this ARC. A perfect coming of age/ YA book that focus on romance but also deeper more sensitive topics. I loved this book and would recommend!

4.5
Sometimes written as though it's a play, which makes it a bit fun to read, especially considering it all started with a play. Divided into acts which then depicts the ages of both Brooke and Matt.
Conflicting topics. We would not empathize as much with Matt if we didn't have his point of view, although we still kind of give him a side eye here and then considering the decisions he makes at his age. (Part 1/act 1) there is a time where all I wanted to do was shake this boy up and tell him to give up and stop whatever it is he tries with Brooke. Although I get his feelings are mutual, I think most people in his position would put as much distance between themselves and the person as possible, especially after what happened. Of course, in the romantic way. He would be an A-hole if he would not try to be friends at least.
As for the character of Brooke, we get a realistic perspective of a 14 year old (part 1/ act 1).
Confused, wanting to have a more romanticized live than she has, slowly gaining confidence while still a bit self-conscious.
We then see her as an 18 year old who is ill and is trying to survive in this new phase of her life. We might not agree with some of her decisions, but we also now that we're ill, we will do anything to feel better.
There shows a bit of neglect from the mums side. We do not see her trying to understand what is wrong with Brooke. But then again, we get this from Brookes point of view only, so it could also be from there. (Part 1/ act 1)
We then kind of see a shift in the mother-daughter relationship, with the mum trying her best to make her daughter feel comfortable and get healthier. But then again, all we get is Brookes perspective so we don't get a lot of information on that.
I would have liked to see more of her and Lucys friendship, but again we understand that this disconnection is due to Brooke prioritizing the wrong things. (Part 1/ act 1) there is no development in the friendship, they drift apart understandably, but we still see her friend trying her best and showing how much she cares for Brooke.
Part two: bad decision after bad decision. Need to get ends meet, but then again, fo someone who went down a spiral. due to a boy, you are too keen on finding and staying with someone.
Trauma? Kind of like daddy issues and stuff?
Part three: we finally witness a growth in the character, we see her finally getting the help she needs and forming a family. There are still ups and downs but that is just the reality of it all.
Ending. Not for me. It's good that she found release (from Matt and her self in a way) but she still ran away from a situation in a way (Charlie) he didn't deserve being broken up long distance. Só it's kind of shows that she still ran away has lots of growing.
Overall, a dark and heavy coming of age book that teenagers should have access to to learn from and also see that they're not alone in whatever situation they might be going through.

To start - I thought this book had a really interesting premise based off the summary. The title of the book was also catchy as well, given what I assume is the intentional correlation with Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, despite those two things, I wasn't able to enjoy this one.

The story is told in three 'acts' which is also a cool concept and at first, I thought this would be a super interesting way to indicate the shifts in the Brook's changing perspectives/emotions towards Matt. But it felt like the writing just fell... flat. I get that we're writing through the eyes of teenagers - one much younger than the other (though 3-4 years doesn't seem large, it definitely is at this age) - and tried to keep that in mind and keep pushing through. I felt very TOLD instead of SHOWN when it came to the emotions the characters were feeling. These are supposed to be teenagers though, they don't tell you they're happy or sad or embarrassed or in love. They shout it from the rooftops! It's in every action they take! But not in this book, it seemed.

The story seemed to drag a bit, like there was a lot of extra information that we didn't need and didn't really help grow the story, plot or characters themselves. When I reached the halfway point with no real indication of growth happening yet, I did decide to DNF.

The idea of this novel had so much potential, I just wish it would’ve been executed better. The length of the story could’ve been shortened A LOT. There were many unnecessary characters & so much filler.

I liked how we could see Matt & Brooke’s maturity form over the years. Though many of the choices the two made (especially Brooke) were just outlandish.

To a younger audience, this story brings awareness to the dangers of age-gaps in relationships at a young age. However as the story continued, the more the plot became so, so unrealistic.

Thank you to NetGalley & Unbound for the advanced e-copy!

Thank you Netgalley and the author for this ARC!!🙀💥🖤

💕🌹💌 Romance:
The romance in this book is complex and raw. It explores a forbidden relationship between a 14-year-old and an 18-year-old, which could be uncomfortable for some readers. However, the story handles the age gap thoughtfully and there is definitely character development.

✨🙀💥: Plot
From the very beginning, the story captivates with its realistic approach to difficult themes. Personally I love when text messages are added. I really don't know why. The plot is a real an emotional roller coaster theres trauma, fear, growth, and healing. It's not just romance focuses on the romance in romance.

⚠️❗🚨 Trigger warning:
There are some heavy topics such as self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and the emotional consequences of a forbidden relationship. Despite these challenging themes, the story spreads awareness and offers hope to those in similar situations.

🙈🌟💭 Charaters:
The characters are incredibly well-written. You can clearly see their different levels of maturity. Even though the male lead was 18, his immature decisions reveal he’s still not fully matured. Their growth is realistic, leading to a bittersweet ending in my opinion.

Jenna Adams’ This Is Me Trying is a heartfelt exploration of vulnerability, resilience, and the quiet courage it takes to keep moving forward in the face of life’s challenges. Through deeply personal anecdotes and raw, poetic prose, Adams invites readers to sit with their emotions and find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

The book captures the universal struggle of trying to make sense of life’s uncertainties while emphasizing the importance of self-compassion. Adams’ writing is both poignant and relatable, offering a safe space for readers to reflect on their own journeys.

I don't have any triggers when reading or consuming media. I've read some gruesome, terrible stuff (I like horror, true crime and psychological thrillers, after all) and it's bothered and upset me but I read to challenge myself and expand my worldview, not just to be entertained. One of my favorite authors is Toni Morrison, who I first read when I was a teenager, who writes about topics like rape without compunction. But this author is no Toni Morrison. This book made me squeamish to read the whole way through and in the end it was complete torture in a needlessly gratuitous way. Take care reading the content warnings in this is no understatement.

I was intrigued by the topic; I don't think anything is too dark for YA and it can be a vehicle for teenagers to get exposed to things that adults are too afraid to talk about because it's too heavy and awkward. Sexual consent and codependency are issues that teenage boys in particular need to know about, especially when they turn 18 and the legalities change - for good reason.

This book is written like a romance (with the girl having an instalove crush after her first meeting with the boy) but make no mistake, unlike what the synopsis sounds like, this is not even a dark romance. Matt turns 18 when he meets Brooke, who's 14, as they both play the lead roles in Romeo and Juliet. Matt, inexperienced sexually and feeling pressure from all angles, tries to make shy Brooke, who has a painful crush on him, feel more comfortable. They start to open up more and he develops feelings for her. They keep the relationship secret because he's afraid of getting in trouble, and they become so isolated in a relationship that they know is wrong that it ruins their lives.

First off there was so much telling and infodumping, from my pet peeve of telling me that someone's embarassed without showing them casting their eyes away or fidgeting, to a direct narration of events like it's an entry in a police log attempting to humanize the chain of events. I used to work as a courtroom clerk for five years and I observed many sexual abuse cases and I had visceral flashbacks to those years. And I was just witnessing the aftermath in my job. Instead of seeing it as a cautionary tale it just turned my stomach. And it wasn't even that gratuitous with the sex scenes.

In the end I felt this talked down to teens like it was an after-school special: "18-year-olds, don't even think of acting on your feelings for underage girls or this will happen!" Their family and friends, especially Brooke's mom, were also so unsupportive and traumatizing that it grossed me out. They all acted like she was a narcissistic attention seeker; no wonder she kept her trauma secret. I emotionally connected with the characters but it felt manipulative, like I was in this abusive relationship with some ethical gray areas right with them and not in a way that added literary value.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

This is Me Trying tells the story of a relationship that 14-year-old Brooke has with an older boy, Matt, when they are cast together to play Romeo and Juliet. I think this is a really important story that any teenager would benefit from reading, because it delves into a lot of topics that are serious but vital to know, such as consent, mental health and co-dependency.

I didn't enjoy reading about how Brooke and Matt's relationship begins and progresses, but I think that is actually a positive thing about this book because the author builds a very uncomfortable atmosphere for the reader and them shows that the relationship that is occurring between Brooke and Matt is not right. Matt seemed like an immature and irresponsible character, and I don't think he had much character development throughout the book until maybe the very end. Brooke started off as a very naive character who was completely obsessed with Matt, which didn't make her very likeable to me, but throughout the book, she develops into a much mentally stronger and healthier character and I really enjoyed reading about her journey.

I didn't realise that the story in this book would span several years; I thought it would just end a few weeks after Brooke and Matt's relationship begins. But the plot actually includes several phases in Brooke's life after that, and it was very interesting to read her perspective and see how her life progressed. I like that when Brooke began her recovery of her mental illnesses, she didn't miraculously recover in one day, but actually had many struggles and setbacks that made her situation feel realistic and actually made me care about her character. I really didn't enjoy Matt's perspective; after the second section of the book, his chapters felt like they didn't add to the story but just made his character even more unlikeable.

I think the ending was written nicely, and it fit the ending of Brooke's overall character arc. Something that made me take off one star in this rating, though, was that even though the book spans a lot of years so it obviously had to be quite long, the writing did feel drawn out sometimes and many sections could have been shortened.

As you could probably tell, I didn't like Matt at all in this book, but Brooke ended up being a great character that I loved reading about. Overall, although this book was quite long, I think it had a very interesting and engaging plot and would recommend this to any teenager.

this book was really good. Some parts were tough to get through, though. I thought that the characters may have, i guess, grown up a bit more after every, but sometimes healing and growth isn't so black and white.

thank you to netgalley for an advanced copy.

When diving into this book, please be mindful of all trigger warnings, despite the blurb, this is not a romance. This is hard hitting, this is gritty, this is you want to look away but you want to keep reading.

We follow Matt and Brooke through a very turbulent ‘relationship’, which spans a few years, and is harmful for them both. I audibly gasped a few times, at other times I was uncomfortable but I believe that’s what you are supposed to feel.

This book depicts codependency, sexual assault, self harm and sucidal thoughts. It’s a tough story but a story that needs to be read.

This book had me in a hurried sense to finish and find out what would happen to our main characters. The story of Matt and Brooke had me questioning what is right from wrong at different stages of life. This book will make you think about the lines that are crossed when we are young and how/if we are able to move past them or what we carry along as burden. Mental health is such an important part of this story and I hope the YA audience will take something away from this beautiful story of resilience.

This Is Me Trying is like if Romeo and Juliet decided to audition for Euphoria but forgot their lines halfway through. It’s angsty, heavy, and undeniably gripping—but also a little...long-winded?

First off, we’ve got Brooke, a 14-year-old with stars in her eyes and secrets in her backpack, and Matt, a 17-year-old who really should’ve just stayed on stage instead of making his life a one-man tragedy. Their relationship is like watching a slow-motion car crash—messy, inevitable, and you can’t look away even though you know how bad it’s gonna hurt.

The book tackles HUGE themes: consent, mental health, co-dependency, and the kind of love that doesn’t look cute on Instagram. And while it nails the emotional weight (hello, I felt like I needed a therapy session after), the pacing trips over itself. That big showdown between Brooke and Matt that you’re waiting for? Happens so late in the story.

Also, the writing. How do I say this nicely? It’s functional. Like, if you want vibes and poetic metaphors, you won’t find them here. On the plus side, the book feels like an emotional detox—if detoxing was crying in a corner while whispering “It’s not your fault.” Teens who want their stories raw and unfiltered might devour this but for me I found this story not my cup of tea.

A hardhitting story about how one mistake can create a ripple effect of trauma for more than just the people involved. Spanning nearly a decade, THIS IS ME TRYING follows Brooke and Matt, who get into a relationship while Brooke is 14 and Matt is 18. They sleep together despite knowing it's not a good idea and that decision haunts them for years to come, especially poor Brooke, who suffers a mental breakdown and spirals out of control. But things aren't going so well for Matt either as he's torn apart by guilt because he never wanted to hurt Brooke; he genuinely loved her. That's not to excuse his actions. It's simply to say that these characters are so lifelike that you understand why they do things even when you don't agree with their choices.

The characters are not always likable, and they make a lot of bad decisions. But that just makes them all the more real. I was rooting for Brooke during her healing journey. I appreciated the realistic and emotional therapy sessions as Brooke realizes that she's codependent and tries to make changes in her life. I've struggled with codependency as well (and probably always will to a certain degree) and Brooke's journey gave me more insight into my own. It was sensitively and compassionately handled.

While this book is categorized as YA, I don't think I could have handled reading this at Brooke's age and in fact think it reads more like an adult novel especially given that Part 3 takes place when Brooke is 22. So I would recommend using caution when giving to young readers. There is a graphic self-harm scene that was difficult to read and will likely be triggering to anyone who struggles with self-harm. However, it didn't feel gratuitous.

I've never read anything quite like THIS IS ME TRYING and it will definitely be one that I revisit in the future.

Thank you to NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Dnf.
I’m so so sorry but i cannot read this.
The writing is awful to the point i can barely comprehend…and the characters are unrealistic.


At 3 percent (like 5 pages after they met) she said she was in love….


Also the unnecessary info goes wild….

“Fliss and simon had to take their mother to the hospital because a frozen leg of lamb had fallen on her foot,”

“She smiled. ‘I normally go with the fact I’ve never had salt and vinegar crisps.’

“Georgia’s foot was sitting on top of mine beneath the table, which hurt because she was wearing clunky sandals.” THE TRAGEDY🫵😭
The horror😱🫨

Also the relying on cussing😭
(I did the kindle word search thing)

F~ck- 73 times
Shit-40 times
Any other words i thought of were under 10 uses.

One of the things I really enjoy about this book was the way they talked about different topics like anxiety and sexual consent, I do like how the author gave a list of resources at the end (bare minimum, I know but thoughtful none the less) the way it talked about some heavy topics was admirable however the writing was a bit long, the writing style just was not for me and I felt myself getting burnt out quickly but whether or not that's because of the topics or the writing style is a blurred line at this point. I would probably recommend this book.

This took YEARS off my life.

To begin with, it was so much longer than what it needed to be. Not to mention the writing was so flat, it was like "This happened, I did this, he said this". ???

Act one: The most insufferable bit of the whole book. The writing was SO juvenile, though I get it could be because we're seeing the minds of young teenagers, but it's not like it gets much better later. Anyway, the characters here were so annoying and immature.

Act two: Initially I thought what she did was stupid, but I get it. Pretty sad to accept, but an okay bit.

Act three: By now the writing had gotten better, but still not to a great extent. It was still pretty bad. I felt proud of Brooke for getting so much better and found myself feeling bad for Matt and Charlie. Bittersweet ending!

Overall, I didn't care for this story so much as to enjoy the book.

This Is Me Trying by Jenna Adams is a deeply emotional coming-of-age story that explores love, trauma, and healing with honesty and sensitivity. Brooke and Matt’s relationship, which starts innocently enough when they’re cast as the leads in their school’s *Romeo and Juliet*, quickly spirals into a complicated and damaging romance. The book does a fantastic job of tackling difficult topics like anxiety, co-dependency, and the blurred lines of sexual consent, making it both a heart-wrenching and thought-provoking read.

Brooke’s journey to reclaim her independence and confront her past is powerful and authentic, and the depiction of her mental health struggles adds real depth to the story. The reunion between Brooke and Matt years later brings a layer of growth, as they both face the consequences of their actions and seek redemption.

This debut novel is a raw and reflective exploration of forgiveness, accountability, and healing. Jenna Adams has crafted a poignant story that stays with you long after you’ve finished reading, and I’m excited to see where her writing goes next.

This was hard to put down, especially since I related to the Brooke so much. The age gap relationship was difficult to read because you know they’re at different times in their lives but don’t know how to be together in a healthy way.