thanks to Harper Collins and Netgalley for the arc of my literal dreams *heart eyes*

wow.

okay i’m fully convinced @beckyalbertalli lives in my brain. every book she reads is exactly what i need to hear. i seriously wonder how different my life would be if i had these to read when i was younger.

if you know me you know that Imogen, Obviously is a book i will literally never stop talking about and as excited as i was to start Amelia’s book i was also a little worried it wasn’t going to live in the hype of my brain.

but to my absolute delight—it was everything. it gave me the same feelings Imogen’s book did. both books altered my brain chemistry in the best best way.

i could gush about this book for hours, but i don’t want to spoil anything….except….

we get to see how Immy girl again! and her cameo was just so sweet love to see her live her best life

this one is for the girlies who have too many thoughts in their head yet can’t formulate what they are feeling. who wear their emotions big and on the sleeve and sometimes worry others won’t be able to handle it. people who feel things so deeply it might cause an ache until they burst

this is me and if this is you—put this in your tbr

this one is out in June and i will definitely pick it up immediately 🙌🏻

First, I'd like to thank HarperCollins for the review copy.

Next, I'd like to thank Becky Albertalli for continuing to provide the queer community with beautiful, flawed, queer stories. As someone who first discovered her work with the movie Love, Simon when I was deep in the closet and didn't understand why it made me cry, and then read Imogen, Obviously shortly after coming out as bisexual. It is safe for me to say her work means a lot to me in my self acceptance journey. I knew when I requested a copy of Amelia, If Only I would love it, but I didn't know I would love it like this.

I intentionally took my time with this book. The pacing and characters are engaging and hilarious. Amelia is top tier funny. Most of my highlights are her absurd jokes. I could have binged this book. I could have finished it in one sitting, it's that good. I just didn't want to. I didn't want to rush my time with the characters, the story and with the queer joy I was feeling. So I took my time.

I loved the commentary on parasocial relationships. As we continue to move into a more digital and content creator driven age, I think it becomes increasingly important to discuss boundaries and respect towards the creators whether they are YouTubers, TikTokkers or authors. Interacting with someone's work is not a relationship or a perfect capsule of them as an individual. This is discussed really well with the interludes in the form of Twitter threads, Tumblr posts, Instagram comments and more to show how Walter's fans have taken ownership of the content and continue to cross those boundaries. I really loved how Amelia describes Walter's internet persona versus him in full color and in person. His internet persona is her hands close together but his full personality is them two inches apart. I think this is true for everyone, whether they're creating content or not, social media is curated and only a small sliver of reality.

As someone who has lived in Central and Upstate New York for over two decades, this story was meant for me. It's not very often I am able to read a book and picture the setting vividly. Amelia's road trip with her friends is a love letter to the Finger Lakes region and Central New York. The description of Sylvan Beach was PERFECT and took me back to my experiences at Sylvan Beach.

Most of all what I loved was the queer representation. Walter's coming out video, how Amelia resonated with it and the discussions of different tenses resonated with me as deep as Lake Superior. I struggled with the idea of being queer, not because I didn't want to be, but because it took me a lot longer to figure out what was right for me. The imagery of a memory being an echo of a feeling shook me to my core and I had to sit with the idea for awhile. I can't even describe how it felt to read that, just know it meant the world to me.

4.5 ⭐️
Thank you to NetGalley, HarperCollins, and Becky Albertalli for letting me read this ARC. I was so excited to read this book after loving Imogen, Obviously!

This book focuses on Amelia, a senior in high school. She is slightly obsessed with a YouTuber named Walter Holland. When Amelia finds out that Walter will be hosting a meet and greet just hours away, she needs to go. Amelia and her friends set out on a road trip that will change everything. This book is filled with self-discovery, friendship, and new relationships. ✨

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book! It was so cute, and I caught myself smiling many times. Becky beautifully writes this book, and there are lots of good nuggets that I highlighted. Especially that last paragraph pulling on my heart strings. 💕 This book is perfect for those searching for a book with an amazing queer friend group going on a road trip and finding unexpected love in the process!

the bisexuals keep winning!

ok i did feel that the first half was slow; i appreciated the background blurbs of walter's online stuff and fandom related bits esp as this tackles fandom and shipping discourse, but it did slow the story down for me sometimes.

i did think this was a great portrayal and examination of "shipping" and parasocial relationships w celebrities, and some of the negative consequences like accusations of queerbaiting. by giving the reader the journey of seeing it happen, following someone who was a fan, and then getting the other side, it was a reminder to humanize the people we watch on screens.

ultimately, the latter half did really win me over. i thought the friend group was so adorable and amelia is such a character. overall, super cute story!

an honest arc review ♡

Love, Simon might be Becky Albertalli’s most popular book, but in my opinion, Imogen, Obviously is her best so far. And now, I got to read Amelia, If Only. From the moment I started reading, my hands were shaking a bit, and my heart thudded in my throat. Would this one even be better than Imogen?
 
Amelia, If Only is by far Becky’s loudest novel. Amelia is just more than a little crazy (not meant negatively). Her mind! Amelia herself calls it the Amelia brain ecosystem. It just keeps going and going and going, and sometimes, I found it hard to follow her leaps of thought. But she’s also so hilarious. I laughed out loud about all these nicknames, and Markillean Freddie Markury was the funniest (even though my autocorrect disagrees since it tried to correct the name at least five times).
 
Have you ever been a fan of someone? And wanted to know everything about them? Even to the point where you count that artist, or influencer, or athlete, or whoever it may be among your personal friends while you've never met that someone in person? Or even secretly dreamt about a romantic relationship with that person? Yep. That’s what this story is about, and Becky did a fantastic job portraying what it means to be a fan or a stan of someone and how it influences lives. In between Amelia’s story, the reader gets an insight into an insane fandom through YouTube transcriptions, Twitter-, Reddit-, and Instagram threads. And I loved reading those snippets. It was so real! Just like Amelia, I wanted to meet Walter so badly. And I have to admit, it was a slow, slow, slow burn until that first meeting. All those transcripts and threads hyped me up so much and kept me flying through the pages. 

And did you know that Imogen and Tessa appear in this story? Oh, and there's an Adib Khoram reference! I smiled so hard when I read those passages! 
 
So, is this story even better than Imogen, Obviously? Well, I loved the friend group, laughed out loud about Amelia’s unhinged thoughts, and couldn’t tear my eyes from all those transcriptions and threads. I loved, loved the overall story, and yeah, even though, I thought it wouldn’t be possible, I think I liked this story even more than Imogen’s.

Oh, and Becky? Please let those two cinnamon buns be the couple in your next story!

This was such a good book. I loved the story and the writing so much. The characters were great and the story flowed smoothly. Will definitely read more books by this author in the future.

3.25 ⭐️
I found the first half of this book extremely slow and very hard to get into. A lot of time was spent on the content of Walter and Hayden, and it seemed like barely anything happened in the story. Luckily, this really picks up once you hit the 50-60% mark, and is reminiscent of a typical Becky Albertalli book in terms of being entertaining, having good character moments and introspection. Also typical of her books, this one contains a really believable and interesting group of friends. I do wish the romance felt a little less rushed, as it mostly just occurred at the very end of the book.

So cute and funny! I loved how quippy the main character was and how real the friendship group dynamics were. This book captured the essence of how a crush on a celebrity (or some other unknowable/unattainable person) is so different from a crush on someone you actually might date. I found myself holding my breath waiting to see with Amelia was going to do. And loved following along her crush journey on this YA roadtrip romp! Thanks to Netgalley for a free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review!

Idk, this book is a fast read and focusing the story on parasocial relationships was interesting, I do think that "that person you follow online doesn't actually know who you are even though it feels like you have a connection," is an important thing teens and older do often have to come to terms with, but the internet culture this book describes to me felt weirdly off? All the references to VidCon and the kind of vlogger Walter is felt like a product of the youtuber creator culture from 15 years ago, but a lot of the slang/sources of tension in the plot were extremely of the moment. I was also hoping this book would actually dive into the borsht belt setting and history, but it was very surface level and didn't really add anything, there was barely a paragraph total about it. The Jewish rep was the reason I picked this up, but I was left feeling underwhelmed.

I like that this YA book has a theme of a parasocial relationship, as this is becoming a big thing for teenagers and it's not mentioned in many YA books yet. The seconds between chapters showing the way people talked about him online vs how he was in real life was done very well. The romance between Amelia and Natalie took me a bit off guard. Besides a few times where Natalie seemed upset by her interest in Walter, I didn't feel the romance between them. It was sweet at the end though. Also very much connected with being Jewish and having ties to Westchester.