I was really curious about this one. I was not familiar with the author and hadn't heard her podcast before, but the idea of a historical and cultural look at gossip seemed intriguing. Unfortunately, this one did not work for me at all. I don't know if it's the age difference - I'm about 20 years older than she is - or what, but I found her style (both writing and narration) to not suit me. I expected a more engaging and, well, gossipy tone. Instead I found myself struggling to connect to a number of her examples and storylines. I was definitely not the right audience for this one - especially given the other reviews I've seen.

While there were some interesting tidbits, this one felt a little too much like homework to enjoy. It may just be my state of mind and the fact that I’m generally not a reader of collections of essays, but I felt this would be better done as a spin-off podcast of the writer’s current podcast.

Thanks to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the advanced audio book.

Kelsey McKinney's book about gossip got into the weeds at times, but overall is a great read for anyone who wants to better understand the role gossip plays in our lives. What was most interesting, and something I'll continue to ponder, was the question around what actually constitutes gossip: when is it information sharing? When is it positive gossip ? and When is it salacious or slander? Since the idea and practice of gossiping isn't going anywhere, these are good questions to be asking.

You Didn't Hear This From Me comes out February 11, 2025

What a delight. Or so I hear.

I've never thought of gossip as deeply as McKinney has. This is a wild and a peripatetic ride. We even hear about Picasso! McKinney makes the case for gossip as more than superficial and sometimes damaging hearsay. Women and other marginalized people have used this medium to communicate and make alliances and take back power for centuries. Gossip is juicy because it always involves some truth, however much wrapped up in a novel package that we can all recognize and key into.

Most of the gossip in my own life that comes to mind is more complicated than this. I remember being a preteen and the queen bee at school calling everyone in class, gathering phone numbers, because she heard that her boyfriend "talked to" another girl outside of the clique. I still remember my throat going dry and my nerves rattling. Like the ones before me, I simply gave her another phone number to try and claimed innocence. I was innocent and I think we all were. I suspect that it was someone in her inner circle stirring the pot.

McKinney spins a little bit too much of a positive narrative about gossip. Gossip for me has always been about somebody getting hurt. You might feel the thrill of privileged access to information you shouldn't have. You might feel delight in someone, perhaps a certain someone, sharing that bit of yarn with you. You might feel compelled to act on it: not just spread it but blow it up to cut the drama and get it out in the open, usually at cost to yourself, especially when it turns out to be a half-truth, at best.

I felt that McKinney could've gone more into the connection between gossip and misinformation and bullying online. There's almost nothing there. She tries to characterize gossip as different from disinformation (total lies) and and malinformation (true but harmful to disclose) and somehow more innocent than I've ever thought it could be. Maybe the term "gossip" doesn't apply but I do believe people think of it this way, so this should've been acknowledged and clarified.

Still, this was an insightful read ... or I should say "listen," which was impeccably done by the author herself.

This was delightfully unexpected. I feel vindicated, as a lifelong chismosa, in my truth that gossip is how we keep us safe and is not just a vain hobby! I loved that this was a thoughtful deep dive into how gossip through the ages has been used to build communities, to warn others of potential danger, and more. I was expecting to hear more about the podcast, but I actually loved how much this book was focused on dissecting gossip as a whole social phenomenon.

4.5 Stars

You Didn't Hear This From Me is a really insightful non-fiction that addresses gossip in all it's forms.

In the book, McKinney addresses how gossip is often framed as a purely negative force, and then discusses why we (as human beings) are so drawn to it. The book acknowledges the harmful effects of gossip as a practice, but also shows how it can be used for good. McKinney argues that, at it's core, gossip is a form of information gathering that helps us make sense of the world around us.

This was a fascinating, well-written and well-researched book on a topic I had no idea I would be so interested in. The arguments presented by the author really gave me a lot to think about, and I would be interested to read more from her in the future.

I am a big fan of Kelsey McKinney's podcast Normal Gossip. This book is an exploration on the role of gossip in American culture and also part memoir of McKinney's own life growing up in that culture. The audiobook is especially great for fans of her podcast and McKinney narrates giving it the sense of a longer episode of her podcast. Highly recommend this for all who love a conversation that begins with "You won't believe..."