For such a short novel, this book packs a heavy, heavy punch. The main character, Jeanne, grew up with a violently abusive father, in a community where many knew of the abuse and everyone turned a blind eye to what was going on in the household. Though she escaped to boarding school, the abuse continues to affect her emotionally as an adult, and her mother and sister suffer, as well. The author tells the story in a semi-linear timeline, with flashbacks to memories. The story is heartbreaking and difficult to endure as a reader, as it should be.

Thank you to Netgalley and Indigo Press for the digital ARC of My Favourite by Sarah Jollien-Fardel, translated by Holly James. The opinions in this review are my own.

A heartbreaking story about trauma, forgiveness, and love, beautifully written.

Thank you The Indigo Press and NetGalley for the advanced reader’s copy.

Holy heck. What did I just read… a debut that needs many trigger warnings (abuse to start or read the synopsis at least).

It’s Jeanne’s story. Her voice that starts with the abusive hand of her father and leads to recovery. Or a semi-balance of one.

Bottom line, it won’t be a book for everyone. I’m even a little uncomfortable with it. And I have read many memoirs of pain like this. I also struggled with the affair. It just made me so… ick. Even if it’s a true story and clearly her pain manifesting from childhood, the vibrations of it leading into affairs, switching sexual preferences and many more things.

Also: the doctor. Seriously, the worst parts of society when people ignore the signs and pleas for help.

This book is devastating, it really just throws trauma after trauma at you. It was an easy read, but I still think it could have been shorter. It felt like there was a lot of repetition, and I couldn’t tell if that was due to the translation or if the book was just reiterating the same things each time. It also jumps back and forth a lot which I found a little confusing, and it’s tough to develop the characters well when they’re only in 50 or so pages, so I just didn’t feel attached to much in the story.

My Favorite is a sharp punch to the gut! Jeanne grew up a horribly abusive household. Her father spent years terrorizing her, her mother, and her sister. The consequences of this abuse follow her well into adulthood, and shapes the ways she views the world, and her methods for navigating it.

The novel is written in a forward moving, yet non linear manner. Sarah Jollien-Fardel's writing style is deeply engaging. She handles placing the audience in painful situations with tact, and she always pulls us out before we drown fully in the sorrow. This novel is incredibly heartbreaking, and brings up questions around blame, forgiveness, and the pain inflict on ourselves and others.

I wonder if it is a matter of translation, but at times this novel does feel disjointed, and little unclear. Overall, this was an impactful read. Huge thank you to NetGalley, Independent Publishers Group, and The Indigo Press for the ARC

I wanted to rate the book five stars but the more I think about it, the more disappointed I am.

The book itself is excellent but tragic and very graphic. The themes of domestic abuse are never easy, but in My Favourite, they are very very heavy, and the experience of the main character is unimaginable. The writing style and emotions felt authentic, and there are not so many books, the idea of which is to show the negative impact on the child who grows up in such a family.

My problem with this story is simple. It portrays sexuality in a wrong and even harmful way. I don't know if the author intended it. But unfortunately, it reads like the very familiar to every woman narrative, that she can only be happy with a male partner (the heroine was literally a lesbian the whole book).

I know that anything can happen in reality, but this is fiction, and fiction often contains an idea. I feel like it's harmful to write something like that when lesbian relationships are still considered "not normal" in so many communities. You can cut the male romantic interest out of the plot, and nothing will change. That's why I am giving this book only three stars.

Thanks to the author, publisher and Netgalley for a free arc in exchange for an honest review.

An extremely dark and moving exploration of abuse and trauma. This book wont be for everyone as it is very heavy and I even found myself having to put it down frequently to process what I was reading and to give myself breaks so it didn't get too much. I think the author conveyed the protagonists pain very well and I found the storytelling compelling and emotive. A really beautiful but heartwrenching book.

This book was pretty good. It did have some dark moments so those parts were hard to get through. But the storyline was good, it flowed well and it did keep me entertianed and interested while reading.

Thank you to NetGalley, to the author, and to the publisher for this complimentary ARC in exchange for my honest review!!!

My Favourite is a novel that will stay with you, an unflinching and occasional brutal study on the impact of violence and abuse and the scars it leaves long after the physicality is over. Beautifully written and translated, the prose is tight and the trauma is portrayed tightly and evocatively. Emotions and impact are written thoughtfully making a very compelling if occasionally unbearably sad read. So well done.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital ARC.

While the subject matter was hard at times to read and deal with, the book held my attention and it only took several hours for me to finish because I couldn't put it down. I identified with many parts of the story and therefore could easily place myself in Jeanne's shoes, which is rare for me to do with a character. It's an emotional journey for sure, and a book that's going to stay with me for a long time.

Sarah Jollien-Fardel's novel My Favourite is a poignant exploration of trauma, resilience, and the quest for personal freedom. Set in 1970s Switzerland, it follows Jeanne, who, along with her sister, endures the relentless abuse of their father in a village where silence and complicity reign. Despite the community's awareness of their suffering, no one intervenes, compelling Jeanne to escape to Lausanne in search of autonomy. There, she grapples with her past, finding solace in fleeting relationships and the calming waters of Lake Geneva, yet her unresolved anger continues to shadow her attempts at a new life.

Reading My Favourite was an emotionally intense experience. The author's concise prose and unflinching portrayal of the main character's struggles evoke a profound empathy for those affected by domestic violence. The narrative delves deep into the complexities of guilt, shame, and the enduring impact of childhood trauma, illustrating how the past can shape and sometimes hinder one's pursuit of happiness. It was honestly hard to read sometimes but I'm grateful that I did.

Thank you #NetGalley and Independent Publishers Group / The Indigo Press. for loaning a copy of "MY FAVOURITE" by Sarah Jollien-Fardel (translated by Holly James) in exchange for a review. This Winner of the English PEN Translates award and the Swiss Prix Goncourt was nominated for many more awards in Europe and I was surprised to see it was her debut novel. It is brutal to real and feels incredibly authentic.

The punch of its message is how deeply and often irreversibly childhood abuse and trauma impacts a life. That beauty, intelligence, and professional assistance are sometimes just not enough to lift some individuals above the intrusiveness and horror of things they have experienced and witnessed. I will not get into specific details but an absolutely monstrous father commits various acts of abuse on the narrator, her sister, and their mother and though the narrator "escapes" him with the least amount of damage, we see that she ultimately does not escape at all. There are times when other adults are available to intervene (as witnesses and even professionals) but in this village in the Valais mountains of Switzerland people "mind their own affairs" - at least in the time period in which the worst of the abuse was set (the 70s/80s). It is absolutely maddening to read.

The author does a powerful job demonstrating how these acts of abuse (and the lack of assistance from those who can help) infect her life for its duration. These details continue throughout the novel in every relationship and situation she encounters. I really tore through this book and think that its message is a gut-punch to read. So appreciative for the opportunity to read and review and if books about psychological trauma and its aftermath is appealing to others, as it was for me, I highly recommend it.

Thanks, NetGalley, for an ARC of this book.

This book is not a good time, but it is an extremely organic representation of life as the daughter growing up in an abusive household. Jeanne's life in this short but powerful book is a perfect representation of being stifled by an abusive parent, being angry with the parent who stays in the relationship, and for the rest of her community for simply turning a blind eye instead of helping the three women. The descriptions are economical but evocative of the slow expansion of emotions and life as Jeanne slowly opens up to the world and her preferences after getting away from her home. A regular book would have this escape be the emotional zenith of the story, but this one is about whether, through distance or other people or just staying where you are, there is really an escape from this kind of abuse and its effects on your mind?

This one really broke my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

Jeanne’s past follows her everywhere. Her father’s haunting presence always lingers over her, and no matter how often she runs into someone’s loving arms, her heart never fully mends. She’s always running, but never fast enough to escape.

I kept underlining line after line. So much of this story resonated with me, and I just feel so much pain and so much love for Jeanne.

This is a story that will stay with me forever. So painfully raw and real. Beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.

Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher, for the e-arc!

The story is compelling and beautifully written, but I wasn’t fully satisfied with the conclusion. Still, it’s a powerful and unforgettable read.

"God forgives. But not me" (c)

While emotional and heartbreaking, this story is very relatable and painful. The book follows a family with a very abusive father and shows all the ugly (and real) things that happen when everyone around the family (relatives, neighbors, etc.) keeps acting like nothing is happening. Seeing the women of the family go through all of that was very gut-wrenching.

The main character, Jeanne, is a very powerful person with her own troubles. The book shows how the way she grew up affected her relationship with men, the sorrow she feels for not doing more for her sister and mother, the anger she has inside and can't let go of.

It's a very good book with very thought-provoking and emotional themes, but something was missing for me, unfortunately.

3.5 stars from me
Thank you NetGalley and Independent Publishers Group for this ARC.

Thank you NetGalley and Indigo Press for providing the arc! This was a really hard book, a woman is healing from her abusive home, specifically from her abusive father.

The main character is hard to connect with and yet you feel so so hard for her. And watching her unravel is…WOOF.

This book definitely is a character driven book, and HEAVILY deals with abuse. So if those things are not for you, I would steer clear of this. Otherwise I think it was an engaging book that was outside of my comfort zone.

An emotional reading. I was keen on reading this novel as I was interested in discovering how Jeanne would develop psychologically. I was a bit disappointed in most of the characters. They followed a rather cliché pattern making the storyline not that really convincing. What I will remember about this book is the concept of forgiveness: what does that actually mean? Can one forgive or rather accept what happened and try to survive? What about saying sorry? Isn't it a bit too easy, do you do it for yourself or for the victim? However, I really enjoyed the last encounter between Jeanne and her father, but not everyone might agree...
What disturbed me a bit was the idea of homosexuality as a consequence to her disastrous childhood. This is definitely not necessarily true.
An interesting storyline which could have been a bit more subtle.
I received a digital copy of this novel from NetGalley and I have voluntarily written an honest review.

WOW what a read. I had a hard time getting through this, not because it wasn't well-written, but because it WAS so well-written in such a powerful and tragic way. I can't even imagine what Jeanne and her family went through; every character was so well-developed and the prose written beautifully - you could feel the tension and fear come right off the page. Some parts did kind of drag a bit, but overall this was a beautiful and moving read that I'm sure will be a hit upon its release. Thanks so much for the ARC!

The story follows Jeanne, a woman scarred by a traumatic childhood. She endured abuse, witnessed her father’s cruelty toward her mother and sister and watched as it irreparably shattered her family. In their small town, where appearances are prioritized above all else, everyone was aware of the abuse but chose to turn a blind eye. This neglect left Jeanne feeling abandoned, in pain, and filled with rage as she grew up.

The story deeply explores how these experiences shape and affect Jeanne as she struggles to free herself from the weight of her past. I thoroughly enjoyed the translation, the writing was clear, fluid, and engaging. Though the book is short, it doesn’t need to be any longer. The narrative is sharp and to the point, capturing how profoundly our environment molds us.

Jeanne’s complexity is beautifully crafted. At times, her actions may frustrate you, but that only highlights how realistically flawed she is, making her journey all the more poignant. Tho she moves away, physically escapes her painful past, she's still haunted by her demons and it only comes to show, that some things are just impossible to forget or work through. Even with time and help.

The portrayal of the main character, Jeanne, and her relationship with Charlotte was especially painfully realistic. It reminded me of this quote: "If you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. You will find him even when he's not there."
Jeanne's fear of turning into her father is so authenthic and raw, it made me feel for her. This is all she knows and grew up with - the anger, the rage - she knows nothing else.

Then there's Marianne, this saint-like figure. We see their relationship through Jeanne's eyes and in a way, Jeanne uses Marianne's kindness to ease her own pain. It mirrors how her father used his wife to channel his rage. Jeanne too uses Marianne, but in a different way. I would have loved to see Jeanne come to this realization, but instead, the introduction of a third love interest detracted from that potential insight. To me, this subplot felt somewhat out of place.
As someone who is straight, I can't personally relate to Jeanne's struggles with her sexuality. However, I did find it somewhat odd that she questioned her attraction to women, associating it with the abuse she suffered from men throughout her life. It didn’t seem like an accurate reflection of how sexuality works. Genuinely speaking, that part felt a little problematic, though I acknowledge that everyone’s journey is unique, so I can’t judge.

Aside from that, I thought the story beautifully depicted the struggle of finding peace after growing up in a constant state of fight or flight. I really enjoyed the book, as it portrayed Jeanne’s emotional journey with painful beauty.