WOW what a read. I had a hard time getting through this, not because it wasn't well-written, but because it WAS so well-written in such a powerful and tragic way. I can't even imagine what Jeanne and her family went through; every character was so well-developed and the prose written beautifully - you could feel the tension and fear come right off the page. Some parts did kind of drag a bit, but overall this was a beautiful and moving read that I'm sure will be a hit upon its release. Thanks so much for the ARC!

The story follows Jeanne, a woman scarred by a traumatic childhood. She endured abuse, witnessed her father’s cruelty toward her mother and sister and watched as it irreparably shattered her family. In their small town, where appearances are prioritized above all else, everyone was aware of the abuse but chose to turn a blind eye. This neglect left Jeanne feeling abandoned, in pain, and filled with rage as she grew up.

The story deeply explores how these experiences shape and affect Jeanne as she struggles to free herself from the weight of her past. I thoroughly enjoyed the translation, the writing was clear, fluid, and engaging. Though the book is short, it doesn’t need to be any longer. The narrative is sharp and to the point, capturing how profoundly our environment molds us.

Jeanne’s complexity is beautifully crafted. At times, her actions may frustrate you, but that only highlights how realistically flawed she is, making her journey all the more poignant. Tho she moves away, physically escapes her painful past, she's still haunted by her demons and it only comes to show, that some things are just impossible to forget or work through. Even with time and help.

The portrayal of the main character, Jeanne, and her relationship with Charlotte was especially painfully realistic. It reminded me of this quote: "If you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. You will find him even when he's not there."
Jeanne's fear of turning into her father is so authenthic and raw, it made me feel for her. This is all she knows and grew up with - the anger, the rage - she knows nothing else.

Then there's Marianne, this saint-like figure. We see their relationship through Jeanne's eyes and in a way, Jeanne uses Marianne's kindness to ease her own pain. It mirrors how her father used his wife to channel his rage. Jeanne too uses Marianne, but in a different way. I would have loved to see Jeanne come to this realization, but instead, the introduction of a third love interest detracted from that potential insight. To me, this subplot felt somewhat out of place.
As someone who is straight, I can't personally relate to Jeanne's struggles with her sexuality. However, I did find it somewhat odd that she questioned her attraction to women, associating it with the abuse she suffered from men throughout her life. It didn’t seem like an accurate reflection of how sexuality works. Genuinely speaking, that part felt a little problematic, though I acknowledge that everyone’s journey is unique, so I can’t judge.

Aside from that, I thought the story beautifully depicted the struggle of finding peace after growing up in a constant state of fight or flight. I really enjoyed the book, as it portrayed Jeanne’s emotional journey with painful beauty.

"I was a child. I understood things without knowing." (loc. 50*)

Growing up in a Swiss village, much of what Jeanne knows is violence. She learns early to gauge her father's moods and the likelihood that violence will follow; she learns early that the other adults in her life will be complicit by their silence and inaction. And it is the shadow of her father's violence that follows her through the years that follow, as she weighs—consciously and unconsciously—her love for her mother and sister against the deep-rooted lessons of her childhood that she can't quite seem to shake.

"My body is a fortress: it doesn't know peace." (loc. 420)

This reminds me a little of Sara Gallardo's "January", though even as I say that I don't think the comparison is quite right. I think it's in the sense of time and place—era is not so explicitly defined in "My Favourite", but there is still a sense of a time in the past when much more was left unsaid, and a further sense of rural isolation. The story largely takes a 'looking back' kind of tone, which works for me because this is relatively short; I think in a longer work I might have preferred something a bit more dynamic.

In many ways I think this is something of a character study of Jeanne in the wave of her trauma. Where she is fleshed out, the other characters are not; they're left as sketches. I found that this didn't really bother me, because the point of those other characters seemed more about how Jeanne did and didn't and could and couldn't act with and react to them. Her sister, who is fundamentally good but a bit scatty, and whose trauma takes a different shape; her father, who has brief moments of grief but otherwise only rage; her first partner, who has no hope of doing anything other than following in parental footsteps; her partner later in the book, who is nothing but unfailingly thoughtful. As themselves, they're not terribly interesting; if you read them more for how Jeanne acts around them, they're more interesting. (Jeanne's last scene with her father, and her insights into what her reactions mean for the way Marine will see her going forward—that's what I'm here for.) I'm not so interested in the affair Jeanne has, but again, what I think is most valuable about that is that it can only ever give her some of what she is looking for.

I'm curious about the choice to translate the French title, "Sa préférée", as "My Favourite"—my French is rather rusty, so what do I know, but I think a more expected translation would be "His Favourite". The question of a 'favourite' does come up a couple of times, in a couple of different contexts, and I suppose I wonder how much those contexts played into the choice of translation for the title.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

My Favourite by Sarah Jollien-Fardel

This literary debut is a beautifully written yet harrowing exploration of trauma, resilience and the long shadow of childhood abuse. The prose is striking, at times almost poetic, capturing both the stark beauty of the Swiss Alps and the raw pain of the protagonist’s journey.

While the novel is undeniably powerful, the emotional weight can feel overwhelming, and the narrative’s detachment at times makes it difficult to fully connect with the main character. The pacing also lags in places, making it a slow read despite its relatively short length.

Overall, My Favourite is a thought-provoking but emotionally heavy novel that will resonate with readers who appreciate literary fiction that doesn’t shy away from darkness.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

📖 Have you read this one? Let me know your thoughts!

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Wow this was so raw, emotional, heartbreaking, it captured the trauma of abuse on a visceral level. I picked it up and immediately was taken with the story staying up to finish it in one sitting, absolutely immaculate prose. A triggering read but one I’ll never forget.

This book was incredible, but also heartbreaking. I fluctuated between rage and sadness, and there was just so much tragedy. I read the whole thing in one evening, and it flowed so easily. Many thanks for letting me read it!