Overall, it was okay, alright. Not the greatest but also truth be told not the worst, I fairly enjoyed the read that this gave me but I felt like I really didn’t learn much out of this it helped open some of my thoughts but not to the point that I was like “ahhh”, it’s alright, possibly won’t read it again in the future though.

This was... ok. I felt like it could've touched more on different forms of trauma/abuse, and how it plays into the vulnerability cycle. I felt like much of it was oriented on marital relationships (wife, husband, children, mental load, household chores). To each their own! However, it just wasn't for me. The decision tree was a helpful tool, as was the people pleasing chapter.
Overall, it was ok and had some insightful moments but for the most part I felt like it was lacking.

As a fan of the author on TikTok, I was so excited to dive into this book.

The writing is so compelling - you can hear the authors voice in every page. It’s extremely easy to understand and digest. I read it in one evening!

It’s an intricate and practical look at relationships, community aligning your actions with your values, what we owe to ourselves, each other, and more.

It’s also an excellent reminder that the pros of practicing vulnerability and boundaries is often on the other side of discomfort. And you have to learn to regulate in the face of that discomfort

Not reinventing the wheel BUT:
1) The author’s explicit purpose is to help those without access to this type of information and
2) This book is so refreshing in the midst of a billion terrible pop-psychology books / psychological Dave Ramsey’s.

Overall a great book to help readers determine how much of themselves to give in a relationship and how to decide when its time to call it quits. Practical tips, reflection questions, end of chapter recaps, and (in my opinion, the most useful) a relationship decision tree that can be used to make choices in a relationship can be found here.

The only detractor from me was reading the line "Why Jonah Hill is a dick and other thoughts on boundaries." Jonah Hill misused the phrase boundaries (despite being open about his therapy experience) in place of what were effectively demands on his then romantic interest. For a book about empowering people, it's not necessary to disparage a person - using the specific behavior and speaking to why it's problematic and how to address it is enough.

Thanks to Simon Element for a copy via NetGalley.