I really enjoyed this memoir! I am not at all into K-Pop, but have been dipping my toe into Korean shows and cuisine, so there were things that I was able to pick up on that I already had a bit of knowledge about.

While this is a memoir, it's also a history of K-Pop, told through the lens of a memoir. Giaae does such a thorough job of going through K-Pop from the start (both of her fandom and the style itself) and showing how it's evolved over the years, right up to where we are today.

I must say that I was absolutely horrified at the way that parasociality is used within the K-Pop industry; that it's an expected and promoted part of the performer/fan relationship. I was also horrified to learn how much of the performers' lives are controlled by the record companies, all supposedly in service of the fans. The performers aren't allowed to date, their appearance is controlled, to the point of getting plastic surgery, etc. HORRIFYING.

Definitely recommend this if you love or have any interested in K-Pop and Korean culture.

this cultural criticism essays bring me back to my teenage kpop days following SNSD, 2NE1, f(x), Big Bang, and CNBLUE (anyone?). Kwon's incisive analysis of sexism, exploitation, and cultural appropriation shed light on the seemingly glamorous industry. The essays will resonate with readers of the Asian/Korean diaspora or K-pop fans open to unlearning & relearning through non-eurocentric lenses.

while there are elements of Kwon's personal life, it is sprinkled into her essays. And because of that, readers who crave a more linear and comprehensive memoir might find this book more surface-level in its examination of mental illness

I'll love you forever was an excellent read. The writing was propulsive and very detailed. I would read more from this author.

One thing I love is when an author uses pop culture as a springboard to tell their own life story and as a K-pop fan I really enjoyed the use of K-pop to explore the authors experiences.

I found it interesting how fandom has evolved and changed and how the ten plus years difference between the author and myself meant that we had experienced almost a completely different experience of fandom. It also meant that there were times, a lot of them where I found it hard to relate.

Overall this was was a different experience than I had expected but I'm glad to have listened to this one. I'd recommend it to the Gen X'ers out there.

I'll Love You Forever is a series of personal essays from Giaae Kwon, a long-time K-Pop fan, on the role of fandom in her life. These essays thoughtfully balance personal narrative and pop culture criticism, offering compelling examinations of her experiences with community, mental health struggles, professional challenges, and the Korean diaspora through the careers and public trajectories of her favorite K-Pop idols. As such, these essays also offer an insightful history of the first few generations of K-Pop idols, which is a largely murky history to me, as I entered K-Pop fandom in 2020, mostly paying attention to 3rd and 4th generation groups. I was also intrigued by the development of K-Pop fandom, particularly for fans in the Korean diaspora and international fans located outside Korea and Japan. I appreciated that each topic or theme was paired with a particular artist or group, finding affinities between the author and these artists on these topics. These essays are thoughtfully crafted and organized. A good read for K-Pop fans. The author narrates the audiobook, which is always an added plus for my listening experience.

As a westerner, I understand that I often have a significant lack of context and overall understanding of K-pop and Korean media in general. Because of this, I’ve always kept to myself in enjoying different artists and k-dramas, instead looking to educate myself more on the art and culture from those more informed. When I found out about this audiobook, I was so excited. Giaae Kwon gives a fantastic, heartfelt look into her life as a Korean American woman who loves k-pop while also exploring her own life story and personal growth.

Through these interconnected essays, she highlights the important history of Korea, the impact of colonization and imperialism on the nation and its people, and the intricacies of the fan culture in k-pop that many of us might not have prior understanding of.

Whether you enjoy K-pop or not, there is still so much to gain from giving this book a listen. Kwon is a brilliant writer and narrator, detailing the struggles of her adolescence and insecurities that have stayed with her into adulthood, and how she has navigated the pressure of the expectations of loved ones and society. Not only that, but this novel is one that anyone who’s a fan of something can enjoy. She nails the discussion of what it means to be a young girl who seeks community among her fandom and how society treats us because of it.

Raw, heartfelt, and illuminating- I can’t wait to pick up a physical copy of the book once it’s out!!

Blending memoir and cultural analysis of K-pop, I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER is an enjoyable and easily digestible collection of essays by Giaae Kwon. Some of the information about K-pop idols and the industry may be familiar for readers well-versed in K-pop, but I came away having learned a lot about the industry and the author herself.

I know very little about K-pop, and so I appreciated Kwon’s sharing of her decades-long relationship as a fan of several bands and singers. Most of the essays follow the format of giving information about a K-pop band/star, followed by an aspect of Kwon’s life and how it relates.

Her straightforward account of K-pop information may be a bit tiresome if you already know most of it. Indeed, the essays did get somewhat repetitive towards the end, especially as I noticed entire sentences or passages appearing nearly word-for-word in multiple essays.

Nevertheless, Kwon writes candidly and with vulnerability about the multitude of critical discussions to be had using K-pop as the focal point, many of which I’ve thought about in passing before: the companies’ highly controlling, borderline abusive hold on minors; rampant misogyny and double standards for male vs female idols; unacknowledged racism and casual cultural appropriation without a true understanding of its problems, especially of Black American culture; body-shaming; mental health; parasocial relationships; and more. All of this is narrated warmly and clearly by Kwon herself, if you’re listening to the audiobook.

I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER is great, especially if you love memoirs and/or essay collections by Asian American writers (e.g. Cathy Park Hong, Michelle Zauner), or are prepared to think more critically about the K-pop industry.

I'll Love You Forever: Notes from a K-Pop Fan
By Giaae Kwon

3.5 stars

Kwon’s essay collection is ostensibly about K-pop, a topic covered in great detail, but there is so much more to it. The expectations of society in the US and Korea, mental health, gender roles and equality, being of two worlds as a second generation Korean-American and more. I didn’t have high expectations for it when I picked it up, as I’m not very invested in K-pop but I figured I could learn something new so I listened to the free audiobook from NetGalley and Dreamscape media.

This audiobook, narrated by the author, has depth and heart. Kwon uses the story of K-pop idols to make greater points about society. She explains her perspective coming from growing up in a conservative church environment, while connecting with her Korean roots through music. Kwon doesn’t sugarcoat as she talks about mental health, body shaming, and other sensitive topics. She bravely shares her mental health experiences and struggles.

Kwon was a great narrator which isn’t always a given with audiobooks read by the author. The way the book was organized made sense. This book would make a great book club choice as there are so many topics to explore and share opinions about. I thought this book was relatable and clearly written with really interesting takes on K-pop and K-pop idols, plus heavier topics. It was definitely worth the listen.

I often describe myself as a ‘fangirl since I came out of the womb’ so seeing this book I was instantly sold. I expected this to be an account of being a fangirl and maybe a little bit of history of K-Pop, but it was so much more. I loved that this book recounted Kwon’s love of K-Pop and how its evolved but I also loved the personal elements about how it fit in around other aspects of her life, including her mental health and identity as a Korean-American woman. I could relate to a lot of what Kwon discussed regarding the societal opinions on fangirls and being a bigger body in a very image conscious world, but it was so eye opening hearing her experience as being Korean-American and all of the prejudices she has faced, even from within her own communities. Overall I think this is a brilliant book that taught me a lot about K-Pop, the history of the industry and also Kwon’s own experience growing up with K-Pop while being somewhat distanced from the industry while living in America. Definitely recommend for any K-Pop fan.

This was really interesting overall. My only issue was that there were a few things that weren't explained early on to help readers understand the details of kpop fandom.

I should start by saying I'm a music nerd and a massive KPOP fan, which no doubt influences my opinion of this book, as I do think some "specialized knowledge" of the Korean music industry is required to get the most out of this book. That being said -- I did still learn new things from this book.

Kwon's book -- basically a variety of essays around various tangential topics related to the Korean music industry also reflected through her own life and personal experiences -- offered quite extensive background history on South Korea as well as the sociology surrounding the popularity and success of the KPOP industry both locally and abroad. She touches on diet culture, misogyny, fandom versus anti-fandom, online hate comments, suicide, mental health struggles, and more. She expands as well on artist history surrounding H.O.T., BoA, Taeyeon/Girls' Generation, BTS, Big Bang, and more.

I was largely really impressed and enjoyed this read -- not necessarily because I learned so much but because these topics are usually glossed over in American journalism/media, largely in favor of the "dark side of KPOP narrative". My only real criticism would be obvious biases did tend to show through (although, I think that was largely the point, as she was tethering her personal fandom to her own life's journey) and online fan bullying/fan wars which in my opinion have exploded in social media spaces post-worldwide success of BTS were largely ignored.

As a KPOP fan, this is a must read.

I’ll Love You Forever offers an interesting balance of memoir, cultural analysis, and critical commentary, ultimately weaving a story of love and pain associated with the history and evolution of the K-Pop industry.



Something I struggled with, as a K-Pop fan, was wondering who is supposed to be reading this book. It includes a lot of foundational knowledge that non-fans would find insightful (the debut process, fan culture, the “big four” companies, military service, etc.), but I found quite redundant and unnecessary considering the hyper-specific information on specific groups that only more immersed fans may understand (the nuances of the legal battle New Jeans is currently going through, which in my opinion was wild to include at all considering how it’s evolving day by day even now (#StanNJZ)) 


That being said, as someone who started their K-Pop journey during the third generation, I appreciated more insights into the second-generation groups and idols that I was not as familiar with. It’s interesting to see how the industry has evolved yet stayed the same.



Something really specific (and quite early in the novel) that resonated with me early on in the novel was the author’s reflection on what it means to be a “good fan” in the context of fan culture because you can’t donate, participate in activities, live events, fan calls, etc. The desire to be able to “show” the artists themselves that you are loyal and will “love them forever” is something that I myself have struggled with in this community. You can be really be truly committed to a group but don’t have the means to “prove” you’re a real fan, and owning materials possessions like albums and photo cards doesn’t make you a real fan.



Ultimately, I found myself very empathetic to the author’s personal reflections on growing up the way she did and how this reflects back on the artists we idolize in a vicious circle.

*Thanks to Net Galley and Dreamscape Media for arc*

So to be transparent the reason why I requested this has to due with consuming Korean media since 2018. I spend so much of my time in the idealized world of Kpop and Korean dramas it is good to ground myself to the realities of it. Also I am not Korean. I am biracial with a black mother and was drawn originally to Kpop because back in 2008 there was a lot of R&B influence. I am writing all this to explain my experiences with Kpop and acknowledge that this book is this author's experiences. Reading through the lens of someone who grew up in a conservative background who found comfort in her favorite group is very relatable to me. While my household was not that conservative I grew up in the bible belt of the States so I am used to this view. In fact I relate a lot to the author in terms of body issues, anxiety and depression as well.

In the end I was hoping to learn something new, however, this book is better for a younger fan of Korean media who still believes the fantasy that it shows.

Ever since I first heard about this book, I was eager to read it. I’m deeply grateful to NetGalley Dreamscape Media for providing me with an ALC.

A heartfelt blend of memoir and cultural critique, this book explores how K-pop has shaped Giaae Kwon’s identity, particularly through her struggles with body image, anxiety, and depression. Her journey is deeply personal—marked by insecurities about her appearance and the weight of societal expectations—but also universal, as she learns to embrace herself despite external judgments.

Giaae weaves her personal story with insightful discussions on Korea’s academic pressure, plastic surgery culture, and perceptions of female desire. She also highlights the complexities of the K-pop industry through profiles of some of its biggest idols. The book strikes a delicate balance between admiration and critique, showing both the heart and machinery behind K-pop’s global rise.

One of the best aspects was hearing the author narrate her own story in the audiobook. Her voice brings an added layer of authenticity and emotion, making the listening experience even more immersive.

Releasing on March 18th, "I’ll Love You Forever" is a perfect addition to your Women’s History Month or Korean March TBR. Whether you’re a longtime K-pop fan or simply curious about its impact, this book offers a thoughtful and deeply personal perspective.

This was an extremely thought-provoking book. As someone both in and out of this conversation (a white female Kpop fan), I think this is a book for everyone to read even if you aren't too familiar with the groups she discussed in detail. Even as someone more versed in Kpop I still took a lot away from this. It tackles hard conversations with care but doesn't hold back. It discusses a lot of different topics, including Korean culture, body image, idols, mental illness, and more. The writing is incredibly well done and I hope to read more of the authors work. It's a great blend of memoir, cultural commentary, and information. I highly recommend it!

This combines piercing examinations of fandom and Korean pop culture into a candid self-portrait.
This examines different kpop idols to discuss topics like body image, depression, feminism, academics, plastic surgery, culture appropriation etc.

This is both positive and critical at times, walking a tightrope of offering nostalgia and happiness, and danger and shortcomings.

This did start to become more focused on the matrices of Christianity towards the end which felt like a personal addition to distance herself.

You don’t need to be a K-pop fan to understand this. However, I do this one weakness is that this knowledge will add to your enjoyment and connection to some of what the author relates, especially her own experiences and memories.

It occasionally became repetitive, but the narrator had a soothing voice and I could lose myself doing other tasks and listening in the background.

Audiobook arc gifted by Dreamscape Media.

a quick but expansive book/memoir about fandom, culture, and belonging. we learn so much about the history of korea and how korean culture came to be from a diasporic pov. we also learn about body dysmorphia and ED, mental health, sex and sexuality, religion, purity culture, and otherness. i rly like books like this, and the comparison to <i> trick mirror </i> was truly not an exaggeration. on the one hand, there's nothing you haven't heard before, and on the other, it needs to be said again.

3.5⭐️

First, thank you to Dreamscape Media, Giaae Kwon, and NetGalley for a chance to preview this title before its publication date of March 18, 2025.

This is a type of memoir so I will not be reviewing the content so much as the structure and narration.

Even while listening to this book, it wasn't until near the middle that I really understood what this book is about. It just seemed like disjointed rambling with one chapter seemingly having nothing much to do with the previous chapter, except it contained some reference to KPop. And this is true but it does go deeper than that. For example, she describes a time when she very much struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. Throughout this time, she wanted to see a concert of a particular group and that was her thread for a time. And because of her mental health battles, she can relate to those KPop idols who speak out about their own struggles, as well as connect with other fans who are also struggling because the KPop fandom is a real community.

I enjoyed this book because I am aware of how the KPop industry works, ie the companies, debuts, bands, fandom, and such. I do not believe that others would understand this, but, then again, would non-KPop fans even want to pick up a book like this? That being said, I did feel that the book was often disjointed, bouncing around in time as well as in content. As for the narration, it was narrated by the author and because of this, there was a genuineness that was heard clearly through the book.

Giaae Kwon is so genuine and kind, wow wow wow I'm a fan.

All of my time spent listening felt like chatting w a new friend about their past. Not preachy, not a history lesson. Just the pertinent information to ensure you can keep up—a nice change from some of the cultural criticism that seems to try to double as a textbook. To be clear, it's not that I don't want to learn about the topic(s) more in depth. It's that I don't want to have to try to follow a memoir while also making a list of things I need to google after, or worse, have to pause in the moment to google before I can keep going. It's clear Giaae knows what she's doing <i>with</i> and wants <i>from</i> this piece, her focus is consistently maintained while still pushing you on to the next chapter. I don't know how to explain what I mean.... like, sometimes when a book is truly ONLY about one topic you're eventually burnt out on it and need a break? I'll Love You Forever I didn't need a break from, I <i>wanted</i> to hear more. And truthfully k-pop wasn't on my radar as something I'd enjoy following in the first place, so how grumpy I was to have to put this down to go contribute to society is proof of Kwon's ability to bring you on board. I'd highly higly recommend this whether you're interested in Korea or pop music or k-pop or not. Comments made on homophobia, religion, shame and family dynamics actually outshine any of the other points.

At first, I couldn't relate at all. I didn't really have a super serious boy band phase. I usually loved bands as a whole, only favoring one member if we happened to share a name or outside interests. But K-pop has SO MUCH to it that I wasn't aware of. The formulations, the strategy, the RULES! Ohhh my goodness the rules. I thought being a child star (or star in general) was bad in the US?? Nothingggg like K-pop artists have to deal with overall, from the sounds of it. Being able to see thru the band names to the strategies their managing firms use—basically product placement for humans—made me see the industry in a different light.

The other standout topic being body shaming & the beauty-industrial complex, Giaae nails it there as well. Similar to how Sable Yong was able to bring an additional dimension to Die Hot With a Vengence, Giaae brings novel concepts and theories I've never heard but are doubtlessly true to an issue we're already fairly well read on in the West. I get stuck in such an ethnocentric mind space that books like these are vital to help keep my vision from tunneling (I'm working on it, I swear).

My one fairly large complaint is how repetitive some of it was. Literally sentence for sentence sometimes, I'd have to check to make sure I didn't accidentally rewind because I was certain I'd heard her say the same words before. In my opinion, that should have been caught in editing? I get that these aren't meant to be cohesive in the way that novels are... But unless people are taking WEEKS in between chapters, I don't think all of the reiteration is needed.

Overall though, I'd say this is worth any- and everyone's time.

(Thank you bunches to Giiae Kwon, Henry Holt & Co., Dreamscape Media & NetGalley for the ALC in exchange for my honest review!)

I have a feeling that this is a book I'll be revisiting, not only as a K-pop fan but as an Asian-American who has similar feelings regarding religion, my body, culture, and other topics deftly touched on and framed via Korean media. The K-Pop is the anchor, but the human underneath is the heart, and Giaae Kwon's writing is sharp yet casual, feeling a lot like a discussion with a friend over drinks on their couch when we've run out of Ateez, Stray Kids, BTS, and Seventeen videos to marathon. She puts into words a lot of the complicated emotions I have felt also regarding issues with Korean celebrities promoting in the West (re: centering Western ideology and thought) while also being firm and honest in her analysis. It's so refreshing to read a book about fandom that doesn't assume I have no entry point knowledge and feels like it's FOR fans, while also being open to those who are less familiar with the greater Hallyu wave. Also, several moments made me tear up, but especially the chapter on plastic surgery, and the role of the hyung and age hierarchy in Korean culture, particularly regarding BTS Jin.

Fangirls forever.