Chinese Parents Don’t Say I Love You is a tender exploration of family, culture, and the unspoken ways we show love. Through food, some shared some alone, Candice Chung chronicles a specific period in her life when, after the end of a long-term relationship, she attempts to reconnect with her estranged Cantonese parents.
Written in a creative non-fiction style, this memoir is unlike most. It's non-linear fashion it is capturing the emotional ebb and flow of healing, dating, and rebuilding family bonds. The non-traditional structure is a refreshing take and suits the introspective, fragmented nature of the story she’s telling.
While the book touches on food as a bridge between past and present, readers looking for vivid, detailed food writing might find it a little light. Similarly, at times I wished for more personal depth particularly around her relationship with her parents as the title suggests.
Still, there's an undeniable warmth in Chung’s voice and a realness in the way she portrays complicated family love. It’s a gentle, thoughtful read that embraces the imperfect, non-verbal ways we try to connect with those who matter most. Overall a lovely read.

Thanks to NetGalley and Elliott Thompson for the ARC!

I enjoyed this memoir, although I did feel the title and blurb was a bit misleading. I was expecting a lot more about the author's parents and what food meant to them as a family, but it was more focused on the author's burgeoning romance with a man known only as "the geographer". I didn't mind not knowing his name and the love story was very sweet but it just wasn't what I was expecting so I had to readjust. Once I did that I enjoyed the book a lot more. I liked the foodie content and her relationships with both the geographer and her family members were interesting and emotional. I'm glad I read it and I'd recommend it if you like memoir, food writing and books about relationships.

I received an advance copy of this book so grateful thanks to the publishers and Netgalley. My review is entirely voluntary.

This book hit me so hard, it was so nostalgic! Like, you don’t need to be Chinese to feel this. If you grew up in a family where love wasn’t always spoken out loud, you’ll get it. You’ll feel it.

Themes: Chinese parents, generational trauma, migration.

It’s not a dramatic, twisty read. It’s quiet. It’s reflective. It feels like flipping through someone’s old photo album while they sit beside you and share stories they’ve never told anyone else. You start seeing how "I love you" can sound like "Have you eaten?" or "Wear a jacket." It was very relatable.

This isn’t a book that screams for your attention. It’s one that lingers. One that makes you call your parents after reading. Or just sit in silence thinking about them.

Rating: 4.5/5. Beautiful, quiet, and deeply personal.

I was definitely drawn to this book based off the title, an experience that I could absolutely relate to. I went into this thinking we would get insight into the author’s tumultuous relationship between her and her parents with food at the center of it.

There were glimpses of those moments, particularly towards the latter half of the memoir when she mentions more of her interactions with her parents during a period of transition in her life. However, it seems as though her family existed more as side characters in this memoir than the focus, leaving me with little insight into who her parents are and how she was or wasn’t able to connect with them.

My biggest issue is that she mentions several times that she was estranged from her parents for 13 years, but never divulges why this was the case and how this was resolved or unresolved. 

This memoir left me wanting more and I’m left disappointed given its banger title.

If you are looking for a book that explores romantic and familiar relationships during the pandemic, this one’s for you. The story itself jumps back and forth in time, with no clear linear path, but the narrative works with Candice Chung’s style of writing.

Thank you to NetGalley and Elliot & Thompson for this ARC. All opinions are my own.

I really enjoyed this memoir ,the connection of food family traditions.Candice Chung writes so beautifully in her own literary style.I am looking forward to to more from this author. #netgalley #elliottthompson

This was a book full of great information. It was very easy to read and I would highly recommend it.

This was not at all what I expected, it manages to be both distant and intimate, exploring the way love can be shown through actions and objects and food, rather than words.

The author flits from one subject to another without a clear connection, at least at first, but the calm tone and flowing prose stops it from feeling jarring.

I have seen reviews complaining that there are no details about her previous relationship which seems to be the reason for the estrangement from her parents but I don’t believe it matters. This is not a book about past mistakes, but about moving forward and the difficulty in figuring out how.

this book was good! it was bittersweet. It is interesting to read about different love languages and how cultures affect the way we show love. It was a good book, lots of empotions!

Thank you to NetGalley, to the author, and to the publisher for this complimentary ARC in exchange for my honest review!!!

3.5 stars

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the e-arc.

I read some other reviews on here and they hit the nail on the head- this book was marketed wrong and the blurb doesn’t accurately reflect the book. Setting expectations is really important when marketing books, otherwise it leads to disappointment which is incredibly unfair to the author. I was expecting a lot more around familial love but it was more of a memoir of her love life. That being said, I did really enjoy parts of the book.

The first half of the book felt somewhat disjointed and the narrative was difficult to follow. The humour was witty edging towards sardonic at times. It’s often alluded to a rupture but it doesn’t explore this until later on.

The second half of the book I really enjoyed, as it picked up more around the theme of her family. I wish this has been explored more in the first half. You can feel the emotions they are holding back, the things left unsaid hanging in the air between them
“You can always come home”. I found it really touching , I cried a lot at the 90% mark.

Dotted throughout the book are references to her parent’s life before emigrating to Australia and their experience as immigrants. Food plays a big role in all their lives but I did think it would be a bit more central to the story.

The parts of it that are good, are really good and I would still recommend this as a read.

This was a bit of an odd one. The book is described as "... she’s determined to tackle what's left unsaid. To find a way to unscramble what her family has been trying to tell each other all along – not in Cantonese or English, but with food," and we are told she takes her parents to review restaurants with her for her job, which implies it's a family memoir, but actually it's more an emotional and relationship memoir around Chung herself. There is a fair bit about their move from Hong Kong to Australia and what it's like living in Australia as a Chinese woman, but a lot of it is working through the minutiae of her current relationship while also discussing her previous 13-year one which coincided with a period where she didn't see her parents - but as far as I could see, there is no explanation as to why that is, and she has made contact with them and introduces the new guy to them. I was aware of this emphasis from other reviews so it wasn't a surprise, and I did read through it quite happily.

Once more, I found myself sympathising with her mum, obviously experiencing culture shock and doing her best; to be fair, she is described positively and lovingly and the portrait of her isn't as harsh as some portrayals of Chinese mothers. And an interesting background being based in Australia.

Blog review published 17 April: https://librofulltime.wordpress.com/2025/04/17/two-east-asian-second-generation-immigrant-stories-tuyen-do-summer-rolls-and-candice-chung-chinese-parents-dont-say-they-love-you/

Chinese Parents Don’t Say I Love You is a multi-faceted story of love, family, identity, culture and belonging, all through the lens of food. What I loved most about this book was how I kept forgetting this was a memoir and not a literary fiction novel. It was so beautifully and considerately written with a clear narrative woven through anecdotes and vignettes into the author’s life. Candice Chung is honest and reflective, able to find nuance and connections in even the small and seemingly mundane that tie into the greater themes of her story.

While I expected from the title and blurb for this to be focused almost entirely on the author’s relationship with her parents, it instead follows multiple different relationships, both romantic and familial. The main ones are those with her estranged parents, and the breakdown of her long-term romantic relationship with her partner. The story is not linear or straightforward, Candice Chung jumps between time and thoughts which might be a little unsettling or hard to follow for some readers, but I loved how the narrative wove together, making me as the reader connect some of the dots and reflect myself.

I would love to read anything else she publishes, whether that is nonfiction or fiction, both of which I feel she has and would excel at. I implore anyone with an interest in any of the topics listed above (love, family, identity, culture, belonging) and/or food to read this book.

I’ve been sidetracked with Asian April and have been prioritising NetGalley requests over my Asian picks, but this is both a NetGalley request and one of my Asian picks, putting me right back on track.
I’m just back from 2 weeks in Japan and didn’t have as much reading time as I usually do, as I was busy exploring, (so warning for the incoming Japan content) but I finished this just before I left and I really enjoyed the concept/message.

It’s autobiographical in nature, but doesn’t offer too much insight into the author’s life and that’s the point or premise of Chung’s story/ upbringing within an Asian household. They don’t talk about the big issues or big questions in life, they revert to what they know and what they’re comfortable with, like instead of how are you managing moving to a new city? It’s where do you buy your rice? She jokes about her parent’s photo album that once held pictures of her and her sister has now been replaced by memorable meals.

She shares how this upbringing has moulded and formed her, how she referred to her partner as the geographer, who remains nameless and how her love story formed a different turn of events when it became expedited as a marriage for visa purposes. I’m not sure if it’s me just overthinking that the loveless life (or rather the non atypical loving family) she was born with leaked into her marriage of circumstance, but that just may be me going too far!

Thank you so much NetGalley and Elliott & Thompson for this early release copy. It’s out on 25th April and definitely recommend

Although this has "food" and "memoir" in the title, do not mistake it for a food memoir. Food is not the main dish here and while it serves somewhat as a vehicle for the storytelling, it doesn't integrate as well with the relational aspects. For me, the writing style didn't land. There were beautiful phrases here and there, but the overall effect of it was floaty in a way that was distracting. I can absolutely imagine that there are people out there for whom this writing would be delectable; I am not that person.

I found this memoir to be interesting and well written. While we don't get a lot of insight into the authors parents (as the title suggests) we get insight into dating and food. I enjoyed this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced digital copy.

Iwanted more talk on the food front. I wanted to crave the things on page and sneak in some late night chocolate but alas the food was talked around. The restaurants she went to were just listed without any distinguishing features, till now I have no idea which ones she would return to in a heartbeat outside her job. The mystery of why her parents disapproved of her previous partner was never solved ( leaving me to assume just classism) even though it was brought up throughout. I almost thought that guy would have a cameo based on jow often it was mentioned. I wanted more insights into how her job works from start to finish but only got breadcrumbs.

“Chinese Parents Don’t Say I Love You” by Candice Chung is a poignant memoir that captures a transformative year in her life, set against the backdrop of the COVID-19 pandemic. Through her intimate reflections, Chung examines the intricate connections between food and the relationships that shape her identity. As we continue to navigate the aftermath of the pandemic, personal accounts like hers provide a compelling lens through which to understand how this unprecedented time reshaped lives.

While the memoir delves into her relationship with her parents, it increasingly centers on her romantic journey during the pandemic. At times, her parents feel more like supporting characters than pivotal players in her story. Nevertheless, Chung's lyrical prose invites readers into her experiences, and her skillful integration of food into the narrative elevates it beautifully—food often takes center stage, highlighting its significance in her life.

Billed as a food memoir, Chung's work is not merely about cuisine; it's a narrative about navigating love, reviewing restaurants, and deepening her understanding of her parents amid a global crisis. However, I found the initial chapters a bit challenging to follow, as the narrative shifts between different time periods.

While I anticipated a memoir focused more on food and family, it leans heavily into the themes of food and dating, which diverged from my expectations. I also hoped for deeper insights into Chinese food and immigrant culture, aspects that felt somewhat underexplored.

Ultimately, "Chinese Parents Don’t Say I Love You" offers a unique perspective on love, family, and the role of food in connecting us to our roots. While it may not have fully met my expectations, it certainly sparked reflection on the complexities of relationships during a time of isolation and change. If you’re seeking a memoir that intertwines food with personal growth, this one might resonate with you.

Thank you NetGalley! How to rate a memoir is difficult. Is one’s life more important or interesting than another’s? Personally, I thought the title didn’t fit the book. Yes, there is food related parts of life and her job is a food journalist but it didn’t feel like the main focus of her writing. Although well written, it didn’t live up to the expectations of the title for me. That said, still a charming memoir.

As a memoir this was disappointing to me. I was drawn in by that punchy title, the lovely cover and I do love food memoirs.

But I felt the book was missing the personal, emotional pull that I crave from memoirs and I had a hard time emotionally connecting to it. The author is a food journalist who reviews local restaurants and her parents join her to enjoy the food. I felt as if the author had taken herself completely out of the story and was a journalist looking objectively at her own life as if it were a quirky rom com. It mostly follows the author's misadventures as she dates her way to lasting love, with her parents a small part of the story.

But I never found out why her 13-year relationship ended, other than she felt she was just hanging out and her parents didn't approve. It felt like the elephant in the room that she was too afraid to broach. While the scenes with her new love interest were cute, it felt like she was just hanging out and rushing things in this relationship too, albeit presumably to a better guy. We are only told the men are the "palm reader" and "the geographer" and no names, further distancing the reader from them. I can understand the intention of this but I struggled understanding everyone's motivations.

I also thought this was going to be a family story but we really only got surface level with her relationship with her parents. I felt as if I was reading someone's sanitized, flirty social media posts where they are too timid or embarassed to get too vulnerable or reveal deep emotional truths.

So this was not what I was expecting at all and fell flat for me. I also was hoping for more insight into Chinese food and immigrant culture and it was more the author's relationship with food in general, but from a very journalistic lens.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early copy of this book! Below is my honest review.

As a fellow Chinese person myself, I sorely requested this book based on the cover. But the plot is nothing of what I imagined and doesn’t seem like much like the description. I thought it would be more food and family focused, but it’s more food and dating related, at least in the first 27%). For that reason, I’m DNFing it. The prologue is pretty much the only part where she talks about her family, but I was expecting a little bit more in terms of explaining Chinese culture and social norms.

I know you should never judge a book by its cover, but I did, and given the book's name, I was let down. While the book was well written, I expected it to focus more on her relationship with her parents than on her romantic life. While I enjoyed learning about her relationship with her parents, I preferred to read more about that.