Young Hunter Cady, at age 29, thought that he had finally found a place for himself in this world. He loved and adored his wife Kait, whom he never felt he was good enough for. The unthinkable happens, the young Kait dies, and Hunter is left floundering.

I really enjoyed the first half of this book. There were some very moving passages as Hunter is musing over his dead wife and all that she meant to him. At his wife’s wake he is having a hard time relating to his mother in law and brothers in law who never liked him from the beginning. Hunter feels unmoored and doesn’t know how to move forward.

There is some beautiful writing in this book. “He plays Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” on a loop and sings along with it, telling Kait she made him forget himself, made him think he was someone else, someone good.” “When he opens his eyes he sees thousands of ghosts in his home, each one a vision of Kait at a different stage of their shared life; they crowd into the house, some are cooking and some are sleeping and some are dancing and some are hanging pictures and everywhere around him there are Kaits.” Beautiful prose.

Hunter knows that it’s not true and yet he feels guilt about Kait’s death. He feels that everyone is judging him and wondering “exactly what you did to deserve losing your wife in this way. But what sort of transgressions can one commit for which the fair and reasonable punishment is the immediate death of one’s wife?

When he remembers that he has some insurance money to fall back on he decides to go on a road trip, one that he and Kait had planned to take, cross country. Kait has already been reduced to ashes and there is an argument as to who gets to keep the ashes, Hunter or her family when he just decides to clear out.

I really enjoyed some of the people that he met on his road trip from the extremely passionate and obsessive Renaissance Faire attendees who try to claim Hunter as one of their own to the unlikely trio of Austin, Amber and Amber’s grandfather Paul. Hunter makes up a story that he is going to meet up with his wife who has started a new job.

I laughed while reading some of this novel and felt a really dull sad ache in my heart for Hunter in other parts. I enjoyed the first half of the book immensely but then it became a little repetitive and I yearned for Hunter to grow as a person, but that didn’t happen.

Will also post to Amazon upon publication

Beautifully written meditation on love and loss. Even though I'm closer in age to Willow than to Kait and Hunter, this spoke to me in a way I did not expect. McAllister has captured emotion wonderfully. Loved the road trip- completely understood the impulse that led him to do this. Loved the stops they made along the way and how Hunter posted photos on Facebook. The bridal shower and its aftermath, the Grand Canyon walk, all of it rang true. This one will stick with me for a while as there's a lot to think about. I read this as an ARC and thank the publisher immensely. I hope to see more from McAllister in the future- he's one to watch.