The end depends upon the beginning. We're given the gift of life with the consequence of death.

Never judge a book by it's cover and never judge a book until you have reached the end. Suicide leaves many victims and with the suicide of Maddy, her daughter and husband are left with picking up the pieces and wondering why. Maddy was the mom that went to bat for their only daughter and the wife that supported her husband. But why would she take her own life by jumping from the ledge of a building. The anguish as her daughter Eve has she comes to terms that she wasn't enough for her mother to want to stay. Or her husband Brady that he did not understand her frame of mind. Was it possible that she was not leaving him but herself.

The narration was done by Maddy from the spiritual realm as she guides her family to the truth of who they are and what they need. Eve as she struggles without her mom and what she took for granted and finding new hope. Brady as he learns the importance of relationships and wanting more with his daughter.

It is a heartwarming and heartwrecking story of family and loss. How we deal with pain and each other and how we build each other up. It uses humor of humanity.

A Special Thank You to St. Martin's Press and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review

What a beautiful and very tender story. This one will definitely be one of my favorite reads for the year. I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I loved it and how much I didn't want the story to end.

The book begins in such a tragic way, we learn Maddy has committed suicide and has left her daughter Eve and husband Brady reeling, trying to understand how someone as happy and giving and together, could possibly leave them in such a way. I came to love both of these characters, and I grieved with them and was angry with them. And wanted to understand Maddy and why she would leave then behind in such a way.

And I loved Maddy, who couldn't leave her family and found a way to stay close and influence them and help them understand her. It was such a beautiful thing, the way she loved them and helped them even after she was no longer mortal.

I wish I could convey in words just how much this book made me feel. The love that was present in this story and the way this woman influenced the lives of her family. What she taught them when she was with them and what she continued to teach even after she was gone. The love she had for them and they had for her was so tender and so beautiful and I spent the last pages in tears. It was so lovely to read about a family that truly loved each other for a change.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a beautiful family drama, who doesn't mind shedding a tear or two and enjoys some fabulous heartache. I loved this one very much.

I think one of my favorite type of books is when they have a stay pace with subtle undertones of a mystery. Sure I love a fast paced page-turner, but I also think there's something to be said when a book pulls out a surprise that I didn't totally see coming! Wow! Abby mastered that in I Liked My Life!

I was intrigued by the premise but not really sure what to expect... I don't typically choose titles that pull on your heartstrings, so I was apprehensive about a book that dealt with the topic of suicide. However, Abby masterfully cradles the topic with equal parts compassion, curiosity and sadness of loss. I was quite taken by how easily I slipped under the wave of the storyline and once I was in, I was in! I loved how complex the three main voices were and appreciated the creative ideas about perspective and influence. This was a great story that I loved right through the final sentence!

St. Martin's Press and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of I Liked My Life. This is my honest opinion of the book.

I Liked My Life is the story of a woman who, despite the fact that she allegedly took her own life by jumping off the roof of the local college library, wants to help find a replacement wife and mother for her husband Brady and daughter Eve. As Madeline tells her story, the perspectives of Brady and Eve weave a very different picture of the life that they had together and the one they have now. As the family's past history emerges for Eve, will she finally have a true picture of her mother and the extended family that Eve never knew?

This book shows how a family attempts to move on after a tragedy rocks their world. Madeline manipulates from beyond, overshadowing the story to some extent, so I wish that the author had spent more time on Eve and Brady as they try to make their way back together. The ghostly elements add a bit of uniqueness to the story, but the realizations of father and daughter were what drove the book. I did like how the author finally lets the reader in on the secret of Madeline's passing, as well as the epilogue, although I would have liked for the book to end without the glimpse into the future. Readers who like stories about family struggles, with a hint of the unexpected, might like I Liked My Life.

She liked her life and I liked this book, even though one of the narrators is a ghost. Tell me there’s a ghost in a book, and usually I gallop away, naying all the way. That’s ridiculous, I say, all huffy and puffy, there are no ghosts so stop talking about them. Besides, I never did cozy up to friendly little Casper.

But the ghost in this book is different. Here, she just puts thoughts into people's heads in the hope that they’ll do good things that will make them happy. She’s gentle and nice and the more you get to know her, the more you share the husband and daughter’s grief that she is no longer alive. She doesn’t gallivant around the room all Casper-y, and the story isn’t told in a super woo-woo way. The ghost woman is more like a smart plot device that lets us learn about her family. I doubt she’d like me calling her a plot device, though--I’m sure she’d rather be known as the ghostess with the mostest. She really wants everything to work out nicely.

All silliness aside, I don’t think of this as a ghost story even though I can’t seem to stop talking about ghosts. It’s basically a well-written story about grief, told by three narrators: the mom (Maddy) who offed herself, and the daughter (Eve) and husband (Brady) she left behind. The relationships are complex and the characters pretty likable. All three characters are interesting and their voices are strong--I never found myself wishing I’d get back to a different character. I always give the writer kudos for this; often a character is fuzzy or boring and I can’t wait to get back to my fave. Not so here.

Each character is very earnest and introspective. OMG, are they ever introspective! Don’t get me wrong--I love to hear lots of internal monologues, but seriously, maybe tone it down just a little? Thoughts and feelings drip off of every page. I’d say the major focus is on Eve—her sadness, her vulnerability, her confusion, her awkward relationship with her father. I’ve been drowning in good teenage-girl stories lately, so I’m a little tired of them.

Why did Maddy kill herself? That’s the 50 million dollar question. She seemed to love life (as she tells us in the book title), so it just didn’t make sense. There must have been some big secret sadness. Why hadn’t she shared it with her family? She had a journal, and Eve and Brady spend lots of time reading it and struggling to interpret it. (By the way, I didn’t think the journal was all that juicy, but the author was probably going for realism here.) Meanwhile, Maddy is out in the ether trying to orchestrate their happiness, including trying to get Brady to notice a teacher whom Maddy has hand-picked for him.

Occasionally it bothered me, like it seemed too pat or too easy, to see Maddy just wiggle her nose and make the people around her do things. (No, she doesn’t actually wiggle her nose, I’m exaggerating.) At other times, I thought it was cool, so I got myself all twisted up.

There is teenage angst and some very well-drawn and realistic father-daughter stuff going on. Their grief and all its components—shock, guilt, anger, sorrow, emptiness, and gradually acceptance-- is portrayed brilliantly. Because Maddy’s death was by suicide and not by accident or illness, Eve and Brady experienced extra big guilt. Had they driven her to suicide? Why hadn’t they been more appreciative of her? Hearing how chirpy Maddy is, it makes us wonder, too—what the hell happened to make her jump off a roof?

Plotwise, it’s tight. There’s a little side trip by Brady, though, that I didn’t think was necessary and I questioned why the writer included it, but it didn’t take up much story real estate so the writer is forgiven. There’s a beauteous epilogue, which I always love because I want to be able to know the answer to my plaintiff “And What Happened Then?”

There’s a great letter that Maddy’s sister gives to Eve, summing up some of Maddy’s philosophies. I don’t think it needed to be in the book and some of it seemed trite, but there were some really great lines so I’m glad the letter was included. Here are a few:

“The stupidest thing you can do is believe your own bullshit, but you probably will every once in a while.”

“Flowery perfume smells like a cover-up.”

“Try not to speak consecutively for more than two minutes; it’s hard to be a good listener longer than that.”

“The impression you have of someone is most likely the impression they have of you.”

And Maddy has a great comment about death anxiety, one I’ll remember:

“We’re given the gift of life with the consequence of death. I think it’d be a mistake to focus on the consequence instead of the gift.”

--Easier said than done!


This story taught me one important thing: Lie like a rug when you’re writing in your journal. Wait. Do I mean it? Maybe I should say that you’re supposed to omit stuff that could hurt the living. Wouldn’t it be cool if we all had the time and patience to do a pre-death journal cleanup? Though in this story there was nothing truly damning, can any of us say we want our family to see what we really were thinking and feeling?

This is an absorbing and clever story that I thoroughly enjoyed. I’ll for sure be checking what this new author has in store for us next!

Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.

Books can really do so much include relate and heal to the reader in so many situations. This novel touched me in such a way that I couldn't stop crying and once I did, I couldn't stop raving about this novel. Written in a simple yet poignant style this novel is good for anyone grieving or looking to help someone grieving

I LIKED MY LIFE by Abby Fabiaschi is a wonderful first novel; I will surely be on the lookout for anything else Ms. Fabiaschi writes.

It is a story about loss through suicide but as odd as this may sound it is uplifting and hopeful. It is told by three family members, Brady, the husband, Eve, the daughter and Maddy, the deceased. Do not let it put you off that Maddy is a "ghost", it works, it truly works in the hands of this gifted writer. "People think of ghosts as haunting, but it's the other way around. You all haunt me.'

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and recommend it highly, one of the best books I have read this year.

I more than just liked, "I Liked My Life", I LOVED it!!

From the very first sentence I was hooked!

Madeline (Maddy) tells us.....

"I found the perfect wife for my husband" and "Recruitment is the least I can do"

You see Maddy is not among the living anymore, but she's not exactly gone either. She is somewhere not here. Her life is just out of reach. At first she wonders if she's in purgatory.

"The Last World sits unceremoniously like a movie screen below me. There's no spirit offering guidance"

She senses that this isn't her last stop. She feels like there is a world beyond where she is right now, but she doesn't see a path yet. There is just space and time....

So for now she's going to make the best of it. And that's where finding someone perfect for her husband, Brady comes in. However, she's not just looking for someone to make her husband happy. She's looking for someone to help her teenage daughter, Eve too. She doesn't feel like she can move on or find peace until she fixes things for her family.

Then Maddy spots Rory. Cool, calm, level-headed, lovely and she even likes to cook. Rory has the patience of a saint, from what Maddy can see. However, Rory has a lot going on in her life and has suffered through her own devastating loss. Maddy feels that Eve and Rory will be able to relate to each other. She's convinced that Rory is perfect for Brady and Eve and that they are perfect for her.

"This woman is my chance to make things right. My family deserves more than I left them"

Maddy was a devoted and loving wife and mother. So what could possibly have made her take her life?

When we first meet Maddy's daughter, Eve, we can see right away how hard she is grieving. She's thinking about the fact that it's Mother's Day but that it's no longer a holiday for her. She's also thinking about how bad her father is at this parenting thing without her mom there to tell him what to do. Eve and Brady have been at each others throats lately and without Maddy there to smooth things over, things only seem to be getting worse.

Eve spends a lot of time on her own. Her friends don't know how to deal with someone who is mourning the loss of a parent. They either ignore it or go completely overboard. Her friend, Kara is a drama queen who even made a spectacle of herself at Eve's mother's funeral, crying as if she lost her own mother. Eve also feels incredibly guilty about how she thinks she treated her mother. She feels horrible about every time she may have forgotten to say thank you or every time she interrupted her and so many other things she may have said or not said to her mother. She wonders if it's her fault.

She doesn't know how she'll make it without her mother.

Then there's Maddy's husband, Brady. Brady is lost in his own grief (and glasses of bourbon). He cannot believe Maddy is dead, that she jumped off a building. He had no idea that anything was wrong. Even the last text she sent him was benign, something about how to fit everyone for Easter dinner. Why would she ask about dinner and then kill herself? Psychologists try to tell him that suicide can often be impulsive, especially in cases like Maddy's, but Brady calls bull on all of that.

But why did she do it? How could she leave them?

Brady is so caught up in what he's going through that he's not aware of how much his daughter is suffering, and how much she needs him.

Brady and Eve attempt to work their way through a grief so unimaginable. At times they are almost positive they can feel her presence. Brady thinks he hears her laugh and Eve even feels like her mother's comforting her at times. When Brady finds Maddy's journal, both him and Eve cling to it, hoping they will find the answers in her private thoughts.

I really enjoyed this book. I thought how the story was told from multiple points of view worked very well. I LOVED how Maddy "communicated" with people from her perch/eye in the sky. Finding out how everything came to the point it did. The characters and relationships felt very genuine. Oh did this book ever make me emotional. A few times I had to stop reading just to go hug my daughter....or call my mother. But it wasn't all sad, there were many lighthearted moments. Both Eve and Maddy were quite witty, with some great one-liners. I grew very attached to these characters and their stories. There was a lot going on and although some parts were unexpected, I thought it all fit together very well.

In my opinion, this was a fantastic novel. A story about love and loss, life and death, and above all healing and forgiveness. One of the best debut novels I've read.

Please hurry and write more for me to read, Abby Fabiaschi. I can't wait!

Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for providing an advanced readers copy of this book for me to read in exchange for my honest review.

A very moving story about how we often forget to see others because of our own preoccupations. It can take a lot to make use take a step back and see those we know best for who they really are and how much they really mean to us. Sometimes it can be too late, like for Eve and Brady, who are forced to reexamine their mother/spouse in the light of a heartbreaking event. A very touching book that is bound to make you think!

This is a debut novel about the heartfelt portrayal of love, loss and possibilities. Maddy, the "Carol Bradyesque" wife and mother, the one her family can depend on for any and everything inexplicably commits suicide by jumping to her death from the roof of the library. Told in alternating perspectives of Maddy, her husband Brady and her daughter Eve who are both struggling with survivors guilt over whether either or both of them were at the root cause of her death. At the same time, although it seems a little "other-worldly" Maddy still wants to guide her family from beyond the grave-help her husband find a new mate and guide her daughter as she matures. Will we learn what caused this tragedy and if the family she left behind can move forward again? This debut novel is very well written and has great characterization. Well done.

Suicide is a tough subject. Maddie certainly doesn't sound like she was depressed or suicidal, so her family is bewildered and devastated at her death. I was afraid the method of having Maddie 'look down on what was happening in the world' would turn too cutesy or hackneyed but the author used this effect sparingly and with effect.

It was interesting to see how Maddie's death affected her husband and teenage daughter - - and how they coped and dealt with it.

I liked the characters and they came across as real and sympathetic. The story moved along at a good pace and the book was very well written. I won't address the ending - I don't want to spoil it for future readers. Just know this is an excellent, thoughtful read that - death notwithstanding - is actually uplifting.

“If you live your life for other people, can you truly be happy? And what becomes of those you served once you’re gone.”   I LIKED MY LIFE
Abby Fabiaschi’s debut novel, I LIKED MY LIFE (St. Martins) is about a devoted mother who commits suicide, leaving her husband and teenage daughter shattered and trying to recreate a sense of family, while she meddles in their lives from beyond the grave.
Maddy didn’t show any signs of suicidal behavior before falling off the roof of the Wellesley College library. She and husband, Brady were raised in modest households and their lives revolved around making sure their teenage daughter, Eve had everything they lacked in their childhoods. The Starling family lived a comfortable lifestyle, but Maddy’s death sends Brady and Eve’s lives into a tailspin. Hardworking Brady thinks back over their life, remembering they had fights just like every other couple while daughter, Eve, deals with raging hormones without a mother to talk to, and tries to adjust to the pitying looks from friends and neighbors. Brady and Eve slowly  lose any connection to one another; they’re living in the same house – apart.
Maddy narrates from the grave, letting readers know “she liked her life” but finds herself frustrated that her family has sunk into deep sadness. Brady is clearly at a loss to what caused Maddy to take such a drastic step, but he feels her presence. It takes a bit of suspended reality to accept Maddy, a ghost from the grave wanting to make her family happy and trying to find a wife and mother for Brady and Eve.
Author Fabiaschi’s prose and her characters’ reactions inspire empathy, which keep the story from turning completely depressing. I LIKED MY LIFE’s theme is tragedy often has no reason, and those experiencing it must contend with the lack of reasons, as well as the loss. I appreciated the unique premise of the novel, but often found myself wondering why I should care at all what Maddy was thinking or what her motives were. The surprising twist at the end answered any and all questions. Even though I felt frustrated at times while reading I LIKED MY LIFE, I’m so grateful I stayed with it.
“If you live your life for other people, can you truly be happy? And what becomes of those you served once you’re gone.”
I LIKED MY LIFE certainly was original and I anxiously await Abby Fabiaschi’s next novel.

An Absolutely Stellar Debut! This one is a MUST READ! 5 Stars.

Maddy is a seemingly happy; a stay at home mother of a teenage daughter whom she adores and a wife to a very successful man. She volunteers at the local library and appears to have it all. Yet one day, Maddy commits suicide and doesn’t leave a note, leaving her daughter Eve and her husband Brady to wonder why. She did however write in a diary, which both her husband and daughter read and which provides a window into Maddy’s soul.

Eve and Brady have never been close. Maddy was their rock. Their bond. This tragedy forces them to question everything, including their relationship with each other.

This incredibly well written novel is told from the perspective of Eve, Brady and Maddy (Madeline) - who tries to communicate with Eve and Brady and Rory (a woman who she thinks could become the perfect replacement), from the great beyond.

“I Liked My Life” by Abby Fabiaschi’s is a fantastic debut. The characters are extremely well developed and are so very real – I felt like they were old friends. The writing is easy, lovely and is simply quite effortless. I can’t recommend this book highly enough. If you love Jodi Picoult or Amy Hatvany – you will love Abby Fabiaschi.

Thank you to NetGalley. St. Martin’s Press and Abby Fabiaschi for an ARC of this amazing novel in exchange for an honest review.

Review published on 2/7/16 on NetGalley, Goodreads and Amazon.

An unusual story about love, life after death and mourning someone whose manner of death seems totally alien to the person you knew. Madeline has dedicated her life to caring for her daughter, sixteen year old Eve, and beloved husband Brady - until she takes a fatal fall from the roof of the library where she volunteers. Eve and Brady have to reconsider everything they thought they knew about her as a result of her suicide, and Madeline wants to help them cope with moving on into life without her, before she lets them go. It is an engrossing story, moving and gently humorous and an enjoyable read.

After wife/mother (Madeline) commits suicide, her husband (Brady) and 16 year old daughter (Eve) are left to figure out their lives without her presence.

As you can imagine, Brady and Eve are left reeling after the shocking death of their beloved wife/mother. Was she really that unhappy with her life? With them? How did they miss the clues? Were there any clues? This story follows Brady and Eve as they scrutinize their memories of Maddy, including her journal entries, in the hopes of figuring out what made her take her own life. Meanwhile, Maddy's spirit lingers in between life and the afterlife as she tries to reach out and guide her beloved family to find the answers they seek. Surprisingly, I found this aspect acceptable, instead of cheesy.

I loved the author's writing style, and I enjoyed that the story was told from the three different perspectives of Maddy, Brady and Eve. I found the gut-wrenching emotion and truths in this story breathtaking and beautiful. Hasn't everyone wondered if they do enough for their loved ones, and/or what they could do better or differently? While this story should have been horribly depressing, luckily, it was not and there were humorous and light-hearted moments sprinkled throughout to lighten the mood. As the story progresses, brutal truths are revealed, and I found the end very satisfying.

Thank you to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for a free ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!

A wonderful cast of characters who attract empathy. I was hooked until the end, a beautiful book.

/p>Eve's world is turned upside down when her mother committed suicide on that fall day. At just seventeen years old Eve struggles to understand why her mother would do that. In fact, her father Brady blames himself. The two of them are struggling to come to grips with a life that does not include Maddy. Father and daughter have never had a close relationship and without Maddy there to be the buffer, their relationship flounders. So much that Eve has asked to spend her senior year at a boarding school. What Brady and Eve don't know is that Maddy is never far away. She is watching over them as they struggle through their new life and gently encourages them to go on without her. Even though days, weeks, and months have passed Brady and Eve have one thing in common - they just don't understand why Maddy would kill herself. And it is tearing them apart. Will they ever find out why?

</p>I Liked My Life is an intimate and emotional read about a family ripped apart by suicide. The chapters are told in the alternating voices of Eve and Brady. As well as Maddy who is observing from afar. The pain that both Eve and Brady are going through is quite palpable and quite heartbreaking. I liked Eve and I even liked Brady, even though he was one of those guys who didn't really pay much attention to what was going on at home - that was always his wife's domain - until she was no longer there. Other people are a part of their story - like Rory, the tutor that Maddy handpicked to be Brady's next love. And Kara, a selfish friend of Eve's. Through the story I felt a little intrusive, their story was that intimate. Their grief was that intimate. Through the whole book, I had a feeling that there was something more to the story. And I was right. The end was quite satisfactory and thankfully the author did a sort of epilogue. So we could check on the characters down the road. I was glad she did.

</p>Bottom line - The sudden death of a loved one is never easy to handle. So much is left unsaid and undone. So many questions remain. Abby Fabiaschi tackled all of those questions and more in her book, I Liked My Life. Even though it is an intimate and at times emotional read, it may just bring some comfort to those who recently lost a loved one.

</p>Details:
I Liked My Life by Abby Fabiaschi
Pages: 272
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Publication Date: 1/31/2017
Buy it Here!

After Maddy dies from apparent suicide, she’s blessed, or cursed, with being able to watch her husband and daughter try and piece their lives back together.

Before her death, Maddy didn’t show any signs of being suicidal. As far as anyone knew, she was happy with being the perfect housewife. She had dinner ready for her husband whenever he was able to actually come home from the office and made sure her daughter was not without love–a stark contrast from the households both her and her husband grew up in. But now that Maddy is gone, Brady and Eve are starting to wonder what their wife and mother (respectively) could have actually been thinking. Had Brady been there enough for his family? Was Eve ever appreciative of her mother? Answers are what they want more than anything and Maddy, despite being able to send energy and suggestions beyond the grave, can’t give them what they want.

Fabiaschi’s debut took me by surprise in its exploration of the relationship between father and daughter. It’s clear Eve had a strong relationship with her mother; Maddy’s absence in Eve’s life is a black hole. But without Maddy, Brady is forced to be present for his daughter physically and emotionally.

I Liked My Life is a raw, captivating story crafted around whether or not the life we’re living is what we want, or what we settled for.

I really loved this book. I almost can't believe that it's a debut novel. When Maddy jumps from a roof committing suicide, her husband and daughter are thrown into turmoil, wondering why she took her own life and questioning whether it was their fault.
This wasn't the kind of book I would normally read. I actually thought it would be more of a mystery surrounding why Maddy committed suicide but as I read further I realised that I wasn't as bothered about that as I was reading about the relationship between mother and daughter, and wife and husband. The relationships were really realistic and themes of the novel: grief, loss, love and family were scattered so well throughout.

In 10 Words or Less:

Great plot. Great execution. Good ending.


The Good

I really enjoyed this book and it boils down to three things: the topic, the presentation, and the writing.

The Topic:
As suicide becomes more and more a part of the discussion, there is an uptick in the amount of books whose primary characters are suicidal, influenced by suicide, or otherwise fold suicide into the equation. These books are wonderful. I love them even when I'm not a fan of the overall story simply for the social impact they bring. Thankfully, we don't have to choose here: the presentation in I Liked My Life one ups any book on the subject that I have read so far.

The Presentation:
My familiarity with this topic lies with YA and from the perspective of teenagers. Here, our suicide is a seemingly well-balanced mom who seemingly had it all. There is a significant difference between teenagers and adults; the perspective switch is enlightening. Another new for me that is written perfectly is the focus on the aftermath of suicide rather than the events leading up to it. The differences between the books I have read and I Liked My Life are powerful.

The Writing:
I always feel strange discussing how I feel about an author's writing because, for me, it's all about the fluidity of the story and the ability to evoke emotion. I don't know or understand the technical aspects and I'm not sure whether to be ashamed of that. (I mean, how can I judge a writer when I have no sense about the subject?) My insecurities aside, Abby Fabiaschi spins a great tale. The character growth is fascinating and even the strained relationships are written in a familiar manner, making the reader feel comfortable.


The Bad

The Ending:
The ending was satisfying in the sense that it brings the reader closure, but the more I think about it, the more I view it as a missed opportunity. Aka, I wish it ended in a differently. (MAJOR SPOILER BELOW. Please don't read if you're planning or wanting to read this someday.


Okay, here it goes. I thought this book would be a great opportunity to show that suicide can occur for all sorts of people in all sorts of circumstances. Unfortunately, the ending clarifies that this was not a suicide, it was an accidental death. While it allowed the characters to find closure, I couldn't help but think about how much it changes what the story means to me. As someone with depression who used to have suicidal inclinations, this story was a great reminder that, regardless of the reasons, a suicide has a strong impact on the lives surrounding it. When the suicide was a fact of the story, it showed not only the devastation of the suicide on the family and friends, but it showed the extremely difficult grieving process. By switching the cause of death at the end, I feel robbed. It is no longer the story that relates to me, rather, it became the story that found closure through the truth of an accidental death. The impact is weakened and changed this book from a five to a four star book. END SPOILER)