There are sixteen essays in the book. Some made me laugh out loud (Clinton for President!) while others made me cringe a bit (Textbook Penis). A few were eye-opening like Turd in the Punchbowl - a rather angry essay about how Paula Deen ticked him off during a taping of The Chew. There were also some that I didn’t really enjoy. For instance, Freakin’ Fabulous, The Sitcom, in which Clinton shares a manuscript he wrote just for fun. In all of them, though, Clinton proves how good a writer he is, making you feel more like you are having a conversation with him instead of just reading words on a page. He’s candid, amusing and rather insightful at times, all of which are display in the essay I enjoyed the most: Auditions, The Universe and other Whatnot.

If I'm being honest, I have never watched either of the TV shows that Clinton Kelly is in. I'm more of a reader and not into reality TV. I chose to read this book because it sounded fun. I enjoyed reading about Clinton's life an he writes very well. He's very snarky, sometimes a little too much. I understand that being on a show where you have a certain role might become tedious - like people constantly coming up to him to ask him about their outfits. Clinton kind of comes off like a jerk about it a little bit. I enjoyed the stories that involved his friendships the most, and later the stories where he showed some vulnerability. Overall I found it to be a mixed bag of good stories and either fluff to fill the pages or a little too much condescension about others.

I grew up watching What Not to Wear and have always enjoyed Clinton Kelly, but I felt this memoir really needed a stronger editing session.

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. I have been along-time fan of Mr. Kelly. Unfortunately, his written voice is not the same as his spoken one. It was inviting but didn't engage me so I committed the crime of not finishing this one.

Thank you to Net Galley and Gallery, Threshold, Pocket Books for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This was a perfect winter vacation book, I read it in one sitting snuggled under a blanket. This book was full of snappy, snarky and quick witted essays spanning the life of Clinton Kelly. You get a peek into his awkward teenage years and his early years in NY prior to his success on What Not to Wear and The Chew. The collection of essays were enjoyable, funny and very easy to read.

It won't let me give 0 stars... This is what I won't say on Goodreads or my blog:
This is the perfect example of a celebrity getting a book contract and then filling pages with pure drivel. 1. Nobody cares about the minutia in his daily agenda (yay, three more pages!) and 2. If you say you keep your sitcom plots (absent the "com") in a drawer and never show anyone, don't show anyone.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher on Netgalley.

full disclosure, I've never seen what not to wear. I have a vague knowledge of who Clinton Kelly is and his voice from what must have been glancing views of promo spots for the show or something but no real knowledge of who he is or anything about him.

this book was pretty great. it's short and easy to read, broken up into little self contained chapter anecdotes. the writing is good because the personality shines through and it's a fun, irreverent voice.

the chapters I especially liked were:

the penis one. because he goes to the library and I am a librarian. also it was hilarious.

the one with his dog. it was about many other things but i liked how spoiled his dog is because I'm the same way about my cat. helicopter parents of furbabies unite.

the sample script about a what not to wear-like tv show. fucking funny. what hilarious bitches.

the high school commencement speech. just a really excellent speech. also shows off again how loyal and family oriented he is which I enjoyed.

basically I liked bitchy, snarky bits and family and his husband bits. and that was the whole book!

What fun! Clinton Kelly is really a softie wrapped in a curmudgeonly exterior, and it shows through this funny, snarky memoir. The very first story about him as a kid in an amusement park had me snorting with laughter. He tells some great stories about his life and his role as co-host of What Not to Wear. I enjoyed the section where he shared his imaginary screenplay, which reminded me of my old favorite author Armistead Maupin, and I appreciated that he said he would never want to see it produced, because people would get their hands on it and ruin it beyond all recognition. But it was hilarious! He could write a whole book of that.

I'm not a big fan of reality TV, but I've always liked WNTW. I think everyone enjoys the show because even though Clinton and Stacy are brutally honest with their makeover subjects, at heart they are truly good and kind, and they help women find the unique beauty in themselves. This book is similar--there is snark, but there is kindness at the center. I read this breezy memoir in a few hours one Saturday morning, and I was sad that there wasn't more of it.

Kelly is witty with heart; two traits that translate well in this work. Anyone who enjoys Kelly's on-screen personality will appreciate the deeper look into Kelly the person, not just the entertainer.

I have never watched What Not To Wear but I love books about interesting, successful people who are ALSO delightfully humorous. (The trifecta!) This wasn't as entertaining as David Sedaris' books but it's still something absorbing and interesting! Loved to hear how Kelly was kind of plucked from obscurity and found great success.

When I saw this book come up on NetGalley, I knew I needed to check it out. I know Clinton Kelly from his time on What Not to Wear. I do know that he hosts/cohosts The Chew — a show I’ve never actually watched so I’m not really sure what it is about exactly — and I was curious about what he had to say.

When I saw that these were essays, I was hoping to learn more about his time on What Not to Wear. This memoir consists of 16 different essays, ranging from him growing up, friendships, relationships, some humorous porn-related anecdotes, and yes, a little bit on What Not to Wear. While I do not feel Kelly was overly rude in his discussions of this show, he was honest. While he did the show — and appears to have formed some sort of friendships with some of the contestants who had been on the show — he was not a fan of the show. It was interesting to take a different look at the show, as not a viewer, but instead someone working on it.

The majority of this was funny and interesting. I read the last 75% of the book over a 24 hour period. Kelly comes across as very intelligent; his writing style is nice and he has a good way of telling stories.

I will say, though, I almost did not finish this book.

The very first essay, “Kamikaze”, discusses him as a teenager and wanting to go to the water park he had seen advertised on TV. He states that the children and teens in the commercial all looked cool, thus him going to the waterpark would make him cool. After he spends lots of time getting the family on board, they go. And he realizes quickly that this water park is not cool. When discussing the negatives of the park, there was quite a bit of body shaming. And I’ll just be honest — it caught me off guard.

Yes, as stated, I know very little about Kelly, other than the persona he had while co-hosting a fashion reality TV show. I know that he is snarky, sassy, all of that. But I also know that he was supportive of those women who were not stick thin. And it made me wonder — was that all fake?

I took myself away from the book and really looked at it. Especially after reading a couple of the other essays, I had to realize — this was written from the perspective of a thirteen year old boy. Of course he would think those things. It doesn’t make it right, but it was truthful.

And that is one thing I liked about these stories. I do not feel that Kelly had any sort of facade in front of him. He chose these stories, some of them I’m sure would be incredibly surprising to a lot of his fans, and he let us into his mind while these were occurring. He doesn’t offer apologies for who he was, but he shows us in the more recent stories the ways he has grown. I think that really added to the story telling.

Overall, once I got over the kind of shock of the first story, I was able to sit down and enjoy the rest. I think anyone who enjoys memoirs — and doesn’t mind some occasional discussion of sexual activities and drug usage — could find some enjoyment in this book. As I said before, this is incredibly well written and the stories are a great range of different topics.

Not what I was expecting. I found the screenplay in the book a bit weird.

Great behind the scenes views of the way things really work in this industry. The tone is a bit whiny at times, but anyone who is a fan of Clinton Kelly knows his voice well and can imagine him talking directly to you. A fun read.

Why do I make myself go through the torture of reading celebrity memoirs that are written by people who are not writers? When I started reading this book, I literally knew nothing about the author, who he was, what he did, nothing at all. However, I came out of the book extremely unsatisfied with the stories that were in it.

Sure Kelly sounded like a nice average celebrity, but here's my problem: I just didn't care, I just wasn't interested in his life stories. I know that might sound extremely cold, but the snarky way that the book is written in is just adequate. There was nothing special here, nothing that made me set this book apart from any other of the dozens of memoirs that I've read. Sometimes, he was trying too hard to be funny and I can't remember even one time when I genuinely started laughing during one of the so-called "funny moments." I don't know, maybe I am hard to crack a smile on, but this book didn't inspire any emotion from me.

"Every single time you set up a comparison between yourself and someone else, you lose, no one wins.”

“The problem, as far as I can tell, is that women spend infinitely more time than men paying attention to, competing with, worrying about, everyone other than themselves.”


He talks a lot about his experience on with fashion and being on the tv where he would critique women, his experience on being gay, and his experience with happiness and not caring what other people say or think about him. Sure, he had some important lessons to convey, but in the end I though that his writing was a little bit too preachy. If I wanted a self-help book, I was have gone out an bought one. I really don't need a rich white man going around and pointing fingers at women comparing themselves so much and how harmful it is to them. Not only is it annoying, I just thought that it's not his place.

Sometimes, he was entertaining in his content, and other times he was uncomfortable. Sometimes he seemed so full of himself, and other times he seemed to make lots of self-depreciating jokes. Ultimately, that leaves me with an unsatisfied taste in my mouth.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinion are my own.**

I like the voice, the style and the writing flowed nicely but the book wasn't as entertaining as I had expected.

"I Hate Everyone, Except You" is a collection of snarky, candid essays and the most revealing look at our favorite lifestyle arbiter. From an awkward childhood, Clinton emerges as wait for it...an awkward adult. It is funny, touching with just enough acidity to keep you from descending into a pile of teary-eyed tissues.

If you loved What Not To Wear, or if you generally like any kind of funny essay/memoirish type books this one is for you. Clinton gives a look into his life growing up, his ascendency to basic cable fame and his finding himself and love in life. A fun snarky read!

Clinton Kelly's memoir is funny and snarky, and delights the reader with stories from his childhood all the way through his professional life. This is definitely one for the collection!

I was looking forward to this but only found it meh. It was witty but only about half of the essays were interesting enough for me to finish.

More than I wanted to know…
free copy





Imagine with me for a minute; you are in New York City for the weekend, strolling through Manhattan late one afternoon and happen to bump into Clinton Kelly, the wildly popular TV personality and former co-host of the ground breaking make-over show What Not To Wear.

Downtown-Skyline



He’s fashionably dressed and greets you with a warm “Hello”.

You gushingly reply, “I loved you on What Not To Wear. You were such an inspiration.”

Out of the blue he asks, “Would you like to join us for drinks? I am just heading there now.”

How can you resist such an offer. bar sceneYou get to the bar and start out with a few beers as Clinton begins to tell you about his childhood and how he ended up in television. Kind of trivial, but somewhat interesting just because of the way Clinton tells it. As the night progresses you switch to liquor; as the alcohol flows so do the words from Clinton’s mouth. You learn about his penis, his marriage to Damon, his dog Mary, his political and religious views and a number of random thoughts and details about his life.

The night ends abruptly and the next thing you know you are waking in your hotel room the next morning, vaguely remembering the night before. The specifics of the conversation seem to run together and you are not really sure of the point of the whole evening. The one thing you are convinced of is that you learned things about Clinton Kelly that you would have been happy not to know, even though you enjoyed your time listening to him and his humorous way of looking at life. In other words, it wasn’t the most productive thing you have ever done, or the most thrilling or exciting night, but it wasn’t a complete waste.

In a nutshell this was I hate everyone, except you by Clinton Kelly. If you are a fan of Clinton’s then this may be your chance to learn things you never knew about him. For everyone else, well…. maybe a few stiff drinks will help you get through it.