Stephen Marche provides personal experience and solid research in an insightful analysis of the challenges faced by men and women in our current culture.

I am not sure what I expected when I picked this book. I'm sure glad I did.

Initially, I thought it would just be a book about the difference between men and women, equality...you know, the usual gender stuff.

It was much more. Stephen shows how empowerment of women in certain scenarios are hampered or encouraged depending on the context.

He uses his own personal story as the "flex parent" in the relationship with his wife, Sarah. I particularly liked the notes at the end of each chapter by Sarah which gives the "other side" of the story.

A flex parent is one who takes primary care of the children while his/her partner is in the workplace or putting in more hours in their career or workplace.

Favourite quote: "When it comes to gender, the internet is a big scolding machine. Any failure in navigating the most complex rearrangement of social existence in history will automatically be greeted with vast choruses of howls."

Great exploration of the challenges between men and women in a progressive era, from the perspective of a professional husband and father living in Toronto and New York City. Footnotes ("that's not what I remember!") from his wife enliven the account.

Growing up, I had a father so badass that in rural Idaho, when he led a Brownie troop, ran bake sales and taught my brother's Home Ec class for a couple of months, snide comment died fast. I was thus spoiled for the current state of gender relations, as modern two-career couple struggle with chore delegation, status of being a trailing spouse and take shit from their families about defying tradition in taking married names or staying at home with kids. Marche, whose column I have read in Esquire, followed his wife to her much better job in Toronto, and offers a frank appreciation of both the improved world of women's participation in the workforce and modern society, as we all of the difficulties of the backlash and the hollow nature of inclusion without power at the top. He only loses me when he complains that he just *doesn't see* the sock on the floor--that's not gender essentialism, dude, that's just being a jerk over something you can damn well learn to notice. Also, this book introduced me to the concept of a Shanghai husband--competent and nurturing house spouses who marry high powered and ruthless Chinese professional woman.