I was invited to read and review this title in advance by Net Galley and Atria Books; it is written by a rape survivor, who tells us bravely of her own experience in the introduction. I wanted to love this book and to scream it across the internet and from the top of the Space Needle, to say that everyone should get it and read it, but instead, I came away feeling ambivalent. The rape passage is resonant and horrifying, and it’s written in a courageous way, and I’ll go into that in a minute. The rest of the book, however, is flat, and so in some ways this proves to be an opportunity squandered.

There are spoilers, so don’t proceed if you don’t want to know how the book ends. It is available for purchase today.

The premise is that Amber and Tyler are best friends. They dated when they were teenagers, but a lot of time has gone by, and they have agreed to be buddies, talking often. Amber does not know that Tyler’s torch is still burning for her, brighter than ever; he is waiting for her to come around. Meanwhile, she has become engaged to someone else.

Amber is also a recovering bulimic, and now she is a specialist in nutrition and fitness. The level of detail regarding Amber’s meals hijacks the narrative at times; I don’t care how many ounces of lean this, that, the other she is about to eat. If we’re going to write about diet and fitness, that should be another book, and otherwise it should stay in the background.

The rape itself is where the story shines, and of course, it is the central scene to the story. Hatvany wants us to recognize who rapists are, and who they aren’t:

“They’re not greasy-haired monsters who jump out from behind the bushes and tie up their victims in their basements.”

The story is told from alternating perspectives, so we hear from both Amber and Tyler. Amber is believable to a degree; a more richly developed character would be more convincing, but the story is one that countless girls and women have lived. It’s a date that goes badly wrong; sometimes the woman is one that expects that she will want sex, but then decides she doesn’t, and her date forces the issue. Is that rape? Unless she says yes to sex, it is. Sometimes it starts with kisses—drunken or otherwise—but when the man wants to go further, she decides she wants to keep her clothes on and not follow through. If she says stop, or wait, or fails to say she wants to do this, yes, it is rape. And so this part of the narrative is important, and once I have read it, I want more than ever to like the rest of the book so that I can promote it.

Tyler is just straight up badly written. I am sorry to say it, but I rolled my eyes when I read his portion of the narrative. The ending is way over the top, and it distracts us with morally questionable deeds done by Amber that we would never commit. If it was rendered brilliantly, it could perhaps come across heroically, like Thelma and Louise, but it isn’t, and it doesn’t.

What happens here, is that Amber kidnaps Tyler post-rape at gunpoint. She forces him to drive to her family’s vacation cabin, and she makes him say that he raped her. He won’t do it, so she shoots him. She refuses to take him to a hospital until he says what she wants him to say. Once all of this happens, he has a huge epiphany, and from then on, Tyler’s wails about what a bad thing he has done, and how he knows he deserves everything that will happen to him as a result.

Sure.

But in addition, I find myself squirming. At one point when Amber holds him hostage, Tyler points out to her that kidnapping is a felony. Having Amber muddy the waters morally by kidnapping and shooting her assailant is distracting and morally tenuous at best. He has to tell the truth; she doesn’t. He owes it to her to lose his job and career, and to serve his time; she never expresses any sort of remorse and never suffers the consequences of her actions. And whereas brilliant prose stylist could turn Amber into a vigilante folk hero, this isn’t that.

I know that the author intends to tell a story that is deeply moving and that will improve the social discourse regarding what rape is, and how we as a society deal with it, both institutionally and as individuals. Instead, the distractions and tired prose prevent this story from reaching its potential.

One of my all-time favorite authors, Amy Hatvany returns following Somewhere Out There (2016) with her most emotional and timely book yet: IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME — an exploration into two different experiences of rape.

View the author's powerful video. Author, wife, mother, friend, rape survivor.

A girl. A guy. Childhood friends. Consent. Rape. Their families. A tragedy which changes everything. A desperate need for justice and revenge.

There is one thing (well, more than one) you can come to expect from Amy Hatvany: She is not afraid to tackle tough issues of the heart, with honesty and superbly researched topics —critical for today’s contemporary woman, no matter the age.

Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks have grown up together. Best friends from an early age through teen years. Their parents were friends. Ty comes from and abusive father. The Bryants took Ty and his mom under their wing and have always included them in family activities.

Amber has had food and self-esteem issues throughout her life. Tyler battles his self-esteem issues with his father. Amber always thinking she is fat, to the point she almost lost her life. It is a topic her parents to this day are sensitive about when they note her eating habits.

Tyler has always been her very best friend. He has always been in love with her. The feeling has not been mutual. From Amber’s side, it is more friendship, not love. Now Amber has graduated from college and is engaged to be married. She returns home to visit with her family and runs into Tyler. Tyler stayed in town and become a local paramedic.

Both Amber and Tyler are experiencing things in their own individual lives. Both are troubled in different ways. Even though Amber is engaged to med student Daniel, Tyler is excited to have his old friend back in town. Deep down he always hopes he has a shot. Amber starts second guessing her decision to get married.

They go out and have too much to drink, which leads to a sexual encounter. Things get out of control and Amber says, “no.” Tyler does not stop. This devastating experience changes the dynamics of this couple and everyone close to them, including their family, forever.

Hatvany explores both sides of the story, combined with her own raw emotion and personal tragedy. A sense of powerlessness and self-destruction behavior.

Amber doubts herself. How could this have happened? Her best friend. How could not remember the events and how they unfolded? What happened to consent? She soon becomes obsessed with taking the matter into her own hands. She will force him into admitting what he had done. Was he more like his dad than he wanted to admit?

The characters grapple with themselves as well as one another. Exploring healthy and unhealthy ways people respond to and recover from trauma, including revenge, therapy, obsession, denial, eating disorders, drug abuse, sex, support groups, social withdrawal, exercise, legal action, and violence.

A compelling look at a topic of rape; which is brushed under the radar more often than we may expect. Especially when the victim knows the other party.

Furthermore, when the parents are friends and the person is someone you have trusted your entire life, and now has betrayed you. Shattered lives. Someone will have to pay for the injustice.

Often the law fails the victim. More than one will have to possess the courage to step up and admit their mistakes and be prepared for the consequences. When events are not always black and white. Moral lines are crossed.

Powerful storytelling. Emotionally gripping. Struggling with the aftermath of rape, and domestic violence.

For fans of Diane Chamberlain, Heather Gudenkauf, Jodi Picoult, Liane Moriarty, Jennifer Weiner, and Sarah Pekkanen. An ideal choice for book clubs and further discussions. Another winner by Hatvany!

On a side note: When posting a review, I often link to the previous book, read by the author. However, when I scrolled back to reference all the books I have read by Hatvany, I noticed each book was a "5-star rating!" How often does an author consistently deliver quality, high-charged absorbing and timely issues?

It is rare. Why I wanted to include all the book reviews here by the author, for those of you which may be new to Amy Hatvany. An author you will soon move to the "top" of your favorite author list. Each book one is uniquely different with a critical takeaway message.

2011 Best Kept Secret
2012 The Language of Secrets
2012 Outside the Lines
2013 Heart Like Mine
2014 Safe With Me
2016 Somewhere Out There

A special thank you to Atria and NetGalley for an early reading copy. Stunning cover. Would make a great movie.

JDCMustReadBooks

In It Happens All the Time, author Amy Hatvany takes a closer look at a story we've all heard time and time again. Date/acquaintance rape is an issue that receives relatively little attention in fiction, and Ms. Hatvany has done a stellar job of drawing our attention to this very serious problem.

Amber and Tyler have been best friends since childhood, and their relationship has always been strictly platonic. At least, it has on Amber's part. But now that Amber has come home the summer after her college graduation with another man's engagement ring on her finger, Tyler is forced to really examine his feelings for her. He's been in love with her for years now, but she doesn't return those feelings - or does she?

One night, Amber and Tyler attend a party together, and both of them end up drinking way too much. They flirt. They dance. They even kiss - and then it all goes horribly wrong. Tyler rapes Amber, setting in motion a series of horrific events that will leave their two families forever scarred.

The story is told in alternating points of view, a style that works particularly here. Ms. Hatvany made a wise choice when she chose to allow her readers to see things from Tyler's PoV as well as from Amber's. At first, I wondered if she would use Tyler's chapters to make excuses for rapists, but she doesn't do that at all, and instead, she creates a scenario that is completely credible. Both characters are deeply flawed, but, at the end of it all, Ms. Hatvany stresses the importance of consent, while showing us just how quickly things can go completely sideways.

As a teenager, Amber struggled with anorexia, and, even now, she is prone to bouts of under-eating when she's really stressed. She has been dating Daniel for close to a year, and the two of them have been engaged for a few months. They have grand plans to move to Seattle in the fall, where Daniel will start medical school while Amber continues on her career path as a personal trainer. Most of the time, Amber thinks her life is pretty close to perfect, but every now and then, a glimmer of doubt slips in. Maybe she's getting married too quickly. Maybe Daniel isn't the right one for her after all. She uses the summer after she graduates from college to gain a little distance in hopes of getting everything clear in her mind before she and Daniel go off to Seattle. Unfortunately, her life is complicated further by the assault, and Amber is forced to come to terms with far more than she envisioned.

Tyler has been trying to live up to his father's expectations for as long as he can remember. His dad is a womanizer who drinks entirely too much, but Tyler can't help but want his respect. His parents divorced when he was a teenager, which creates an enormous amount of inner conflict. His father is a firefighter, so, after high school, Tyler becomes a paramedic, which means that he can save lives without having to work closely with his father. He battles a huge amount of anxiety that he attempts to control with ruthless exercise and meaningless sex, but, as time goes by, things spiral more and more out of control.

I admire the author’s ability to create complicated characters that I can love and hate at the very same moment. While I in no way condone Tyler's actions, I was able to understand how things happened the way they did, and feel varying amounts of empathy for both him and Amber. I wanted each of them to do the right thing, even when it would be unspeakably hard for them to do so. This is a very powerful story that definitely needed to be told, and I'm so glad Amy Hatvany was the one to tell it.

There is one element of the novel that seemed a little over the top, which, without giving too much away, is to do with the way Amber goes about making Tyler pay for raping her. On the one hand, I can completely understand the appeal of reacting in such a way, but I was also dismayed by the vigilante justice feel this gave to the story. I'm sure there have been real-life people who really have reacted in the way Amber did, but I couldn't help hoping for something a little less dramatic.

Rape is a difficult topic, and Ms. Hatvany is very sensitive to that. We obviously know Tyler rapes Amber, but the rape scene itself isn't hugely detailed. I found it hard to read, just because such things should be difficult, but it’s handled with the sensitivity the topic deserves.

It Happens All the Time is a riveting and timely novel I urge everyone to try. It's not perfect and it’s not easy, but it's well worth the read.

This is a tough but important read and I liked how the story was told. I think it's really important to have stories like this to show that sexual assault and rape can happen closer to home - such as by best friends who you've known for almost half your life. Amber trusted Tyler and she loved him in her own way but he didn't listen to her when she said stop and when she said wait. And I liked the message that came across here - especially when Amber was talking to a therapist who explained to her that if she said stop and he didn't it was rape, if she had been with a boyfriend for years and one day she said no but he had sex with her anyway, it was rape, etc. These messages are very important for women to know that if something similar happened to them, they are not in the wrong.

Amber goes through a lot of conflicting feelings from shock, denial, pain, fear, confusion, guilt. It all goes through her and her reactions may seem strange to readers but I liked how it was all stemmed from her desire to remain in control of herself. Amber had other issues related to a severe teenage eating disorder and she still had to deal with it everyday - so when Tyler took away Amber's self-control in that moment, we see how she spirals back to obsessively being in control of herself from her eating habits to any other sexual experiences she has with other men. I thought Amber's background and how it all related to her career choice and she balanced her adult life with eating and exercise was done really, really well.

Tyler was a bit of a different story. For a while he across as a victim as well -his dad isn't a nice guy and is clearly emotionally abusive and manipulating and this has affected Tyler, more than he actually realises. He deals with anxiety and it's clear a lot of his interactions with women are problematic. He has a 'girlfriend/sex buddy' who he doesn't respect and their first interaction was hugely problematic for me as well as it seemed to me like he coerced her into having sex when she didn't want to too. Tyler suffers from anxiety as well, and doesn't have great ways of dealing with it the way Amber does with the problems she still has related to her eating disorder. Because of all of this, Tyler didn't just become the rapist of the story but he also became human as well, and while it doesn't excuse what he did at all - I think it was a brave choice on the author's part to show that the perpetrators could be dealing with their own issues, confusion and guilt over things as well - particularly when it's a case of sexual assault and/or rape by a close family friend/member.

I liked that at one point in the story, Amber meets with a lawyer her parents contacted who gave her some advice on what she could do to report Tyler. He gave her some information about things she could do that wasn't necessarily a court case and I feel like this information wasn't just for Amber but for any readers who might have had such a thing happen to them but afraid of going through a court case. I liked that the author gave this information in such a way.

I did feel like there was a bit too much build-up to the 'moment' that it happened t was 40% through before the night of the rape and before that we just got a whole load of Tyler and Amber's childhood together. I also wasn't a huge fan of the ending - it was all a bit too easy and I don't feel it was realistic. Most rape victims will have to try and convince a judge of the rapist's guilt and would go through a terrible time getting their name and sexual history dragged through the mud.

Overall, this is an important story and one I think needs to be told more. I do recommend people read it.

It Happens All the Time by Amy Hatvany is a highly recommended examination of a friendship changed by sexual expectations.

Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks have been best friends since they were teenagers. She was there for him when his macho father humiliates and degrades him. He was there for her when her eating disorder leads to a heart attack. Amber made it clear to Tyler during high school that she wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with him. Now Amber has returned home for the summer. She's just graduated from college and is engaged. She strictly watches her eating, but she's eating. Tyler is working as an EMT. He still has feelings for Amber and has hoped that someday she'd reciprocate them.

Tyler and Amber rekindle their friendship. Amber's fiancé is miles away and she's working before moving to meet him in the Fall. While Amber still wants the friendship to remain platonic, she's confused about her engagement. Tyler still desires more than a friendship. The two begin to see each other a lot and the flirtation between the two increases. A drunken party on the fourth of July, blatant sexual flirting, and a kiss lead to a sexual encounter. Amber feels it was rape while Tyler sees it as his dreams fulfilled.

The narrative alternates between the point of view of Amber and Tyler. Since the novel opens with Amber kidnapping Tyler at gun point, you know right away a rape is going to happen. When it does, well, the line is a little blurry since "No!" was never used, but "Wait" was. I can concede that it was rape because it was unwanted. However that doesn't make Amber's later crime okay. You'll have to read the book, but it didn't sit well with me that it was alright to lie about Amber's actions, but Tyler had to be held accountable for his actions. Hmmmm... They were both guilty of acts of violence. And the eating disorder thrown in for good measure also muddied the plot.

This is a well-written novel that is imminently readable with a plot that moves along quickly. Amber and Tyler are well-developed characters, even though the plot does get in the way of them being actually likeable. Additionally Amber's eating disorder lessens the emotional impact of the assault, especially after we learn that Tyler is the one who saved her when she had the heart attack. He's wanted a relationship for years, she knew it, and yet she still led him on sexually. I'm not letting him off the hook either. When she said wait he should have stopped. Even though she was drunk and coming on to him, he could have told her to stop it because she was engaged.

This could be a good choice for a book club because the discussion would undoubtedly be lively.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Atria Books.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2017/03/it-happens-all-time.html
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1952546299

Intense, emotional and extremely impactful!

This is a heartbreaking story that delves into the devastating and enduring physical and psychological effects of acquaintance rape and reminds us that sometimes good people make bad decisions and do bad things.

The story is narrated from two different perspectives and uses a past/present style to give both depth and understanding to all the relationships and connections between the characters.

The prose flows seamlessly. The characters are young, multi-layered and sympathetic. And the plot is engrossing, fast paced and full of ups, downs, tension and drama.

This ultimately is a deeply moving story about friendship, trust, sexual dynamics, power, violence, betrayal and revenge and even though the subject matter is incredibly dark I highly recommend it.

Thank you to NetGalley, especially Atria Books, for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.

This story has a very important message about sex and consent. It also has a strong message about taking responsibility for our actions. From that perspective, this was a good read.

Sadly for me, the entire message was lost by how the story ended. In a statement by the author that precedes the story, she explains "what if the young woman didn't go to the police, but instead took matters into her own hands". This is my take on the ending:

Tyler did something wrong to Amber. He could get into a lot of trouble for what he did. Amber wants him to tell the truth.

Ambers does something wrong to Tyler (I'm sure some people will think this is debatable). She could get into a lot of trouble for what she did. Amber wants Tyler to lie.

Is this one of the lessons we are supposed to learn? I certainly can't explain why the author chose to go this route. But for all the talk throughout the book about truth and ownership and responsibility, the ending seemed a bit hypocritical.

This was an ARC from Atria, via Netgalley. Publish date: March 28, 2017.

Oh my goodness, I feel like I have been waiting forever for Amy Hatvany to write a new novel. In reality it hasn't been that long, but I have to tell you it took everything I have not to let out a little squeal when I saw It Happens All the Time up for review on Netgalley, and it took me about half a second to click request! Thankfully, I was approved and dutifully devoured this book with in a day and a half.

Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks were best friends from the time they met at a party when they were just teenagers, now they are both in their twenties, and still have that strong bond that nothing-not even Amber's fiancé - can break, well, at least that's what they think. When Amber comes back home from college after graduating, her and Tyler get right back together back where they started as if she never left.

Family traditions keep them side by side, and it doesn't help that their mothers are best friends. So, they spend quite a bit of time together. Eventually their mild flirtation toward each other turns into something even more. During a Fourth of July party, things start getting hot and heavy between the two best friends after a couple of drinks. Amber is sure that she wants Tyler, and Tyler is definitely sure he wants Amber (he's only been secretly in love with her forever). That is until Amber has a moment of clarity, and while she is being stripped naked by Tyler, she has a sudden change of heart. She tells him she wants to wait, she doesn't want to have sex with him, but Tyler is in the zone-and filled with Tequila- and doesn't seem to hear Amber's pleas.

Soon, the deed is done, and Amber feels quite ashamed of what happened. Her best friend did the unthinkable, and she doesn't know how or if she will ever forgive him. This puts her in a downward spiral, that she thought she had gotten out of a long time ago. Tyler doesn't seem to think he did anything wrong, he can't even whisper the word "rape". How can these two help themselves if they can't even be honest with themselves, let alone each other?

This book was easy to read, but yet it was so complex. It created this familiarity with what seems to happen a lot in the world today, and it gave my husband and I a lot of talking points and discussion ideas while we were doing our normal every day things. Rape is rape is rape, and theres no getting around it. But, what constitutes consent? That's what this book asks, and it also begs the question of what happens to a rape victim after they've been attacked? What happens when it's someone you are extremely close to? This book really opened my eyes, and brought me into the mindset of someone who has gone through something extremely horrific. I could feel Amber's emotions through the pages, and it was an incredible and indescribable experience. This book is on it's fast track to my 2017 favorites! I give this book 5 out of 5 stars, thank you Amy for another hit!!

I enjoyed this book from this new to me author. This book touches on something that is so relevant and relatable, something that happens all the time now, something that all parents should talk to their children about - both male and female.

It Happens All the Time explores the dynamic between a friendship gone wrong; a situation where there are two best friends, one feeling more for the other and when alcohol comes into play how what you do in that moment can change everything and everyone forever.

Amber and Tyler have been friends since they were teenagers. Both only children - Amber has the love of two parents who adore her and would do anything for her, and Tyler has a mother who is good to him but a father who has very sexist views when it comes to women.

It was interesting being in the POV of both characters in this book as it allows the reader to be inside their heads to see what they are thinking. Now I am not saying that their backgrounds had anything to do with the situation that happened but that maybe sometimes how you see the adults who are supposed to be role models to you may shape who you become as you grow into adulthood.

Amber returns from college engaged and finds herself spending more time with her best friend Tyler while her fiancé is in Seattle working. And one drunken flirtatious night becomes something that neither of them expect nor is it something that they will ever fully recover from.

Amber understandably goes on a downward spiral while Tyler is still at odds whether or not he ever really did anything to Amber though he does remember bits and pieces of that night, he never really accepts the blame.

As we can see in society now, it is usually the victim who seems to take the blame rather than the one who committed the crime. Often times saying that a woman shouldn't dress or act a certain way because then they are "asking for" something more even if she tells him "no." I HATE this mentality and this way of thinking and the author really explores the after effects both psychologically and physically with both characters, how it affects their friendships and relationships and really puts things in perspective for the reader to be able to understand where both are coming from.

And while I appreciated this look into both of their mindsets, the reason for my 3 star rating is because I would have loved more emotion, more something from Tyler once he realizes what exactly he has done to his best friend, someone he said he loved and wanted something more from. I would have also liked the resolution in the end to come about organically rather than it being forced or coerced out of the characters.

This is a great read and definitely something that I feel is so important for our children to know about and be educated about. I think the author with her experience as per the forward at the beginning of the book really touched upon something that will make readers think and feel and really relate to. It Happens All the Time is well written and something that I won't soon forget as I have young children to think about who I want to educate about their safety and the safety of others.

I would definitely read more from this author.

Even though this book deals with a very tough subject that is so very relevant today, it is phenomenal! Right from the beginning where we find Amber confronting her very best friend Tyler for doing the unthinkable, this book had me hooked. I thought the story being told from both Amber and Tyler's perspective was very well done. We get the back story of how their friendship came to be, their ups and downs throughout that friendship, and then see how they each felt about that one night that changes everything. This is a book that should be read by young women and men alike to see how one very serious act can ruin the lives of both involved. Definitely a must read!!

I received an advanced copy of this novel from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, this was a great book. To be honest, I was asked to participate in a book tour for it, so I downloaded the e-galley and planned to read it in a few weeks; however, NetGalley had a preview of the book up on its site, and I read it and was immediately hooked. I ended up reading the entire book in only two days.

This is definitely an eye-opening book, and everyone should read it.

Amber and Tyler grow up together, and they are best friends. Tyler has always had a huge crush on Amber, and when she was in high school, he told her that he loved her; she didn't reciprocate his feelings, though, and he knows that to continue to stay in her life, he has to be content with just being her best friend.

In college, Amber meets Daniel, and after a quick nine months of dating, he proposes; she accepts, even though she feels like the timing is rather fast.

One night, Amber and Tyler go to a party together, where Amber meets Tyler's work partner—Tyler is a paramedic, and saves lives for a living—and his partner's wife. Both Amber and Tyler get drunk, which is unusual for Amber, and Amber kisses Tyler. They go upstairs, but later, Amber changes her mind about what is about to happen; and it's at this point where our story really begins.

Both of them were drunk, during their hookup; but when Amber clearly said to Tyler, "Stop, I don't want to do this," he should have stopped. He didn't.

Tyler is not your typical "rapist." He's known Amber a long time, and is normally very respectful towards her. He loves her, but knows she doesn't reciprocate his feelings. Amber is actually the one who, while drunk, makes the first movie - she kisses Tyler and grinds against him on the dance floor. Tyler takes this as consent.

This was an interesting read, but it was also a hard read. Both of the main characters are highly likable, even though they both have issues - Amber has always had mental issues with her weight, even being hospitalized once because she stopped eating in order to become more and more skinny. Tyler was actually there for Amber, moral support-wise, during the episode where she stopped eating entirely, and eventually Amber realized she can eat nutritiously but still eat. Tyler's dad never supported him, growing up; he always made fun of him and hurt his feelings.

The book starts at the present-day, when an extremely messed-up Amber tells Tyler that they need to talk, and basically kidnaps him at gunpoint. From there, we get flashbacks of how they met, how they became best friends, and what happened when Amber went to college and eventually met Daniel; and how Tyler had to cope with the fact that the love of his life was now engaged. We also see the aftermath of Tyler's decision to still have sex with Amber, and how her life starts to unravel because of it.

4.5 stars out of 5.

**4.5 STARS

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for providing an ARC for an honest review.


We see so much on the news and especially on social media, cases of women who are sexual assaulted and raped. We begin to form our own ideas and meaning of the word. We ask ourselves, what really happened? But one thing we have all learned is that no matter what happened prior, if the word NO is said before sex is about to occur, and the other person goes ahead anyway, it is rape.

'It Happens All the Time' follows Amber and Tyler, who are best friends, and Amy Hatvany is able to show that this does, in fact, happen all the time.
I was gutted reading the entirety of this novel because we go through the many emotions that Amber experiences before and after that night with Tyler.
We see how just a matter of minutes could so easily break someone and it pains me to know the reality of this.

I enjoyed that this story was told in both point of views. It was not meant for us to sympathize with Tyler and try to see his reasons, or his father's, for what he did and what he felt was true.
My heart broke to know that this logic is one that people follow, that because "she was obviously into it, she must have wanted it".

I appreciate the story Amy Hatvany had the courage to write. This is such a timely story and it also paints the picture of the screwed up justice system we have regarding women in rape trials. Instead of being so quick to blame the victim, of labeling them because of their past or condition during the time of the incident, why not question the offender? Why not understand that when the word "no" is said, it means just that, NO.
This story is meant to be read, no matter who you are, and hope that it'll help you, teach you, or make you more aware.
My thanks to Amy.

Trigger warning: Anorexia, Rape

This is, without a doubt, my favorite book by Amy Hatvany.

It Happens All the Time is a fantastically written book. It was written was such a raw and emotional honesty that's exactly what this kind of book needs. I think it's so important that the story was told from both Amber's and Tyler's points of view. In seeing the story from both of their perspectives, we see each of their struggles and how they dealt with the aftermath of what happened that night. As Amy says in the beginning of the book: "I wasn’t trying to create false empathy for rapists; rather, I wanted to help readers recognize rape culture as not just a woman’s problem but as a societal problem, and one that we each have a hand (and a stake) in solving." Our society focuses so much on teaching girls and women what to do (or not to do) to avoid getting sexually assaulted, and while that's helpful, perhaps we need to take time to teach our boys/men how to identify consent.

To say that this book is a must-read is an understatement. Please, read it.

I featured this title in a round-up here:
http://www.bethfishreads.com/2017/03/8-books-by-women-to-read-this-month.html

Woman (Amber) raped by her best friend (Tyler). How and why would this happen between such good friends?

This crafty story, told between the alternating views of Amber and Tyler, encourages the reader to wonder whether a sweet man like Tyler really would have raped his very best friend, Amber. I spent the first half of the book wondering how and why he would do such a thing, and the author did a great job making me question whether or not Amber was telling the truth. This book does a great job exploring the intricacies of the current rape culture and how children are raised to believe certain things about women, albeit subconsciously.

This was my first time reading a book by this author, and I will be back for more!

While this is definitely an important topic, I think the story could have been executed a bit better. 3.5 stars.

Thank you to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!

This book needs to be required reading for all high school and college kids. I’m not even kidding. It’s graphic and disturbing, but it’s real. As the title says, it happens all the time. That needs to stop. NOW.

I want to rewind the clock, take back the night when the world shattered. I want to erase everything that went wrong.

Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks have been best friends since they were teenagers—trusting and depending on each other through some of the darkest periods of their young lives. And while Amber has always felt that their relationship is strictly platonic, Tyler has long harbored the secret desire that they might one day become more than friends.

Returning home for the summer after her college graduation, Amber begins spending more time with Tyler than she has in years. Despite the fact that Amber is engaged to her college sweetheart, a flirtation begins to grow between them. One night, fueled by alcohol and concerns about whether she’s getting married too young, Amber kisses Tyler.

What happens next will change them forever.

My Thoughts: It Happens All the Time, narrated alternately by Amber and Tyler, leads us to the pivotal moments that will change everything.

The story begins with Tyler and Amber in a car, with Amber in control. She has a mission. One that she hopes will erase the effects of that disastrous night.

Then we move back in time, and from then on, we see their lives and their friendship unfold. From each perspective, we come to understand how each of them feels, and what their differences are, despite the deep friendship.

Amber’s history, with anorexia and anxiety disorders, offers a peek into how she sees the world. She views the friendship with Tyler as an important one. He is like the big brother she never had.

Tyler, whose father is emotionally and verbally abusive, suffers from anxieties that interfere with his daily life, including his work. To him, Amber looks like the one person who can make him whole again.

When Amber and Tyler develop a special closeness that summer after college, they each are flirting with each other, but with different goals in mind.

The drunken night changed everything. Amber felt betrayed by Tyler’s actions, but Tyler felt as if he was finally getting the closeness with Amber that he had always desired.

How will they resolve their differences? Will they heal? A story that kept me turning pages and in a quandary about their dilemma. 5 stars.
***My e-ARC came from the publisher via NetGalley.

Hatvany describes a very real experience for many young women. The writing was detailed and the plot was executed well. The perspectives were very vivid giving readers a 360 degree view of the situation and the thoughts and feelings of all involved.

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME by Amy Hatvany packs a lot of emotional impact into a relatively short read. The story centers around two best friends, Tyler and Amber, who have helped each other through rough times in their lives. You meet them as teenagers dealing with issues like body images, eating disorders, anxiety, broken families and strained relationships, and unrequited love. The story is told from both perspectives so you see the characters grow up and their friendship expand over the years as they get older. And then one horrible night in their twenties, they find themselves in a situation that they cannot help each other get out of because it's about them and caused by one of them.

For me, this book read as a very real story. The blurry details, the guilt, the emotions -- the reader feels all these things from both characters. This story happens all over the world and the strength it takes to move through an assault is never underestimated in this novel. The topic of consent is one every parent must teach both their daughters and their sons. The pages Hatvany wrote capture the emotional toll that rape takes on an individual, their family, and sometimes their assailant. The last third of this book made me lightheaded like I was holding my breath while I was reading it. What a hard book this must have been to write but one that people should read and should talk about.

I received an advanced copy of this novel from Great Thoughts' Great Readers and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

some wounds unreachable by words, some sins immune to apology.
Amy Hatvany always seems to be in touch with the pulse of society, and able to turn what is happening into one of her best-selling novels. In IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME (Atria), Amy tackles the issue of sexual abuse and turns it upside down, sideways and all around. With her subtle prose and compassion, she reveals the ultimate fallout from betrayal.
Tyler Hicks knew Amber Bryant was something special the very first time he laid eyes on her. His family moved to her town in his senior year of high-school and soon after his parents' divorce, Tyler and his mom became part of the Bryant family. They spent the holidays together, leaned on one another during difficult times, including when Amber struggled with her eating disorder and she felt Tyler was the big brother she never had. But as they grew up and Tyler became the "big man on campus," and Amber blossomed into a beautiful young woman, Tyler couldn't accept the fact that Amber continued to consider their relationship strictly platonic.
After senior year of college, Amber moves back home, but now she's engaged to Daniel. Tyler freaked out after learning Amber was seeing him while she was away at college, and they had a fight. They haven't talked to one another for months, but Tyler's still obsessed with her and hopes they'll end up together.
One night after partying and drinking too much alcohol, things get out of control and boundaries are crossed. Soon Amber's depression kicks back in and life takes a dangerous turn.
*****
Amy was born in Seattle, WA, the youngest of three children. She graduated from Western Washington University with a degree in Sociology only to discover most sociologists are unemployed. Soon followed a variety of jobs. In 1998, Amy finally decided to sell her car, quit her job, and take a chance on writing books.
The literary gods took kindly to her aspirations and THE KIND OF LOVE THAT SAVES YOU was published in 2000 by Bantam Doubleday. THE LANGUAGE OF SISTERS was picked up by NAL in 2002. (Both were published under her previous last name, Yurk.)

You can contact Amy on Facebook, her website www.amyhatvany.com  or twitter @amyhatvany