Gear Girl

This netgalley arc I got was beautiful. Stunning. Magical. Powerful.

It was everything I hoped for and more. It really tugs at your heartstrings and makes you think about your own life. It was so different from anything I have ever read before and that is a really good thing in my opinion. A mix of steampunk, historical fiction, finding yourself, finding love (but it wasn't too romance-y - which was awesome), and mystery makes this a 5 star read.

Imagine waking up one day in an unknown body, unknown house, with strangers for parents, and an horrific scar on your chest with no memory of how it got there. That's how Gear Girl begins. Eleanor slowly unravels the mystery behind these unknowns and, as one can imagine after learning she has been lied to, used, and betrayed, doesn't react to it very well. She falls into a serious state of depression and gets herself hospitalized. There, she meets a boy named Percy who winds up teaching her how to be complete again. The author did a really wonderful job of capturing all the emotions Eleanor experiences throughout the book. I found the concept behind the book very creative. How does a person with a mechanical heart learn to feel like a whole person again? For me, the story presented a wonderful explanation for what truly makes us human. I really liked the writing and the pace and would definitely be interested in reading other books by this author.

I don't usually read steampunk novels as I just cannot get on with them.
This though was totally different and a really enjoyable read with a real twist at the end.

Gear Girl is sort of like a YA cancer/sickness story in a steampunk setting.

The main character is a teen named Eleanor, and she wakes up after a carriage accident with no memories, strangers claiming to be family, and a metal heart. It is pretty traumatic for her and she has to decide whether she has the will to live and can dare to trust that someone could love her with a metal heart. Most of the story takes place in a hospital, and her new friends also have health conditions they are battling. And it all takes place in 1898, with its proper manners, fancy dresses, steam-powered technology, and medical advancements (or lack of).

Gear Girl focused a lot on the emotional struggles of the characters - dealing with grief, choosing whether to live or die, falling in love, dealing with family who is grieving, and the like. It was heartbreaking at times and sweet at others.

Slight content warning: there was a barely described bedroom scene.

I can't say what I really want to say because of spoilers, so let me sum up my thoughts and then dive into the spoiler for the rest of the review. I didn't like the book. It had some good qualities and was thought-provoking. But as a whole, I didn't like what it was promoting and I didn't like the ending.

BEGIN SPOILER

One of the main topics in this book is whether people should be allowed to commit suicide if they don't want to live any longer. The main character wanted to die, and some of the doctoral and parental figures said, paraphrasing, "If death is what she really wants, trying to keep her alive is wrong/selfish." I don't agree with that assessment; I don't believe that killing oneself because one cannot bear to live anymore, be it legalized or otherwise, is good. I don't want people to be miserable, but people can find help for their depression. It doesn't usually last forever but is generally a passing phase of life; I've gone through it myself and come out the other side and have watched others do the same. Why destroy oneself when there is still a chance of getting better? No one knows what lies around the next corner in their life.

Later in the story, she gains a will to live because she loves someone. I, personally, don't think that a person or romantic love should be anyone's reason for living. What if that person dies? Or you break up? Does that mean life is meaningless again? Whether we like it or not, putting our hope, or reason for living, in a person will fail eventually; it is putting them on a pedestal they can never live up to. I didn't like that the story made it that way. (As a solution, I believe the only thing/person we can put all of our hope in and not be disappointed is Jesus Christ; but you're not hear to read my religious beliefs but about the book.)

And I didn't like the ending. The main character sacrifices her life so that her boyfriend can live. On the surface, it seems noble - giving up one's life for love of another person. Jesus did that. But I didn't like the way it played out in the story. The girl still wanted to die. Her love for her boyfriend was the only reason she didn't commit suicide, and now that he was dying, she went back to wishing she was dead. So her motivation was as much of wishing she was dead as it was to help someone else. It didn't sit well with me because of my beliefs, and it was really tragic too - the main character dying and the boyfriend left alive but brokenhearted.

END SPOILER

I received a complementary copy of this book. All opinions are my own, and I was not obligated to provide a positive review.

Gear Girl is a sort of steampunk YA romance with some teenage angst and love of life woven in. It's a self-published book and at times it shows that certain parts could have used a bit more editing or character development. I am not sure what to make of the ending. I expected something different.