Refresh

Reading ‘Refresh’ is like sitting down with a good, wise friend when you feel at the end of your tether. This book is full of practical reminders about how to move from a place of exhaustion to a one of strength. Shona and David have incorporated the wisdom from David’s first book in a way that will particularly appeal to women. I felt the choice to write using only Shona’s voice was a good one, making the book easier to read than many dual-authored works.

The book is written particularly from the viewpoint of a mother, and may feel a little alienating for women who are without children and not focused on home-making. In saying this, Shona has gone to considerable effort to present stories from her friends who are career women or singles.

While most of what Shona and David share is not revolutionary, the book is packed with sage advice which is honest, reassuring and hopeful. I particularly like the emphasis on pursuing a grace filled life. I would recommend this book to any woman who feeling life is a bit too pressured.

First sentence: I was a crumpled heap.

Premise/plot: Refresh is a companion book to Reset. Reset was a book for men using a metaphor of a garage. Refresh is a book for women using a metaphor of a gym. The Murrays invite readers to "Refresh Gym" which features ten stations. The goal is to guide and teach women how to live better, how to have a grace-paced life. What is a grace-paced life? "It's a pace of life that's constantly refreshed by five wells of divine grace: 1) motivating well of grace, 2) moderating well of grace, 3) multiplying well of grace, 4) releasing well of grace, 5) receiving well of grace. The ten stations are: reality check, replay, rest, re-create, relax, rethink, reduce, refuel, relate, and resurrection.

Like Reset, the book focuses on the whole life--eating and drinking, sleeping, exercising, working, worshipping, relaxing, parenting, etc. In Refresh, Shona tells her own story--or stories of depression, anxiety, and burnout. Shona is a homeschooling mom of five, and, before she was stay-at-home, she was a doctor.

My thoughts: I thought I had trouble relating to Reset because it was written for men, but honestly I didn't have much better luck relating to Refresh the one written for women. This isn't unusual for me. Most books "for women" seek to be super-practical and go beyond the spiritual and theological. Most books for women tend to be about how to be a wife, how to be a mother, how to be a godly wife and godly mother and do all these godly things in and about your godly home. Most books assume that if you're not in that stage yet--it's just a matter of time until you'll need to know.

That being said, there are chapters that are applicable to anyone and everyone. For example, the chapter on sleep! The chapter on sleep was my favorite in Reset. But I think my favorite chapter in Refresh might be Relax. In this chapter, they address the DIGITAL DELUGE. These pages are very passionate. Here's how it begins, "Digital technology is killing us. It's killing our souls and our bodies. It's killing our marriages, families, and friendships. It's killing our listening skills and speaking abilities. It's killing face-to-face communications and interfamily relationships. It's killing our minds, especially our ability to focus and concentrate. It's killing communication with God as it usurps communication with him first thing in the morning and last thing at night...." She is JUST getting started.

Another interesting chapter was Refuel. She discusses how there are fillers and drainers in our lives, and it's important to know what fills us and what drains us.

Favorite quote:
Every Christian wants to know God more; few Christians fight for the silence required to know him.

So when I read non-fiction books I generally place them into some sort if category in my head based on usefulness. The categories generally go something like this: not useful/learned nothing; not useful or remotely interesting; interesting but not practical; useful, but wouldn’t read again; useful, but would read again; useful and will keep on hand to refer back to. This definitely falls into the last category. This book is perhaps the most useful book I have read for the woman who is dealing or has dealt with burnout or depression.

The author is a medical doctor and has knowledge in counseling, yet this is one of the most practical, easy to read books on this topic. Her knowledge is evident. She discusses burnout, depression, health, medications and spirituality. She talks about how everything is interconnected and one area of life can impact another. The author addresses a topic that is often taboo in Christian circles in a gracious and knowledgeable way.

While the author writes from the experience of being married with children, I think that the tools and truths given in this book are useful for any age. I could have used this book as a single college student.

I received a free digital copy of this book from Crossway and Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. BUT I will be buying myself a physical copy of this book to keep on hand.

In a world in which people have been overly busy and emotionally and physically burned out both author David Murray and his wife Shona Murray has written a helpful Christian book to address the problem. This book provides preventive measures with practical wisdom and also spiritual resources from the Christian faith to deal with the issue. The book’s main purpose is to teach readers what does a grace pace life looks like. Early in the book it points out that we need five “wells” of God’s grace: motivating grace, moderating grace, multiplying grace, releasing grace and receiving grace. The rest of the book unpack what these five aspect of God’s grace means. I got this book largely because I have benefited from the teaching ministry of David Murray and his practical insights which have been helpful from some of the online audios and lectures I have listened to. This book I read lived up to my expectation.


One quick note: This book was actually for women. I was not aware of it when I first requested for my review copy from the publishers and from reading the book I learned that David Murray have earlier in the year published Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture which covered much of the materials in this current work although this current work addressed specific applications towards women. Still as a man who is a husband, a father to my daughters and a brother with sisters I thought this book was helpful to understand and able to minister more to the sisters.

The book consists of ten chapters that the authors called “stations” in the sense of stations in the gym. These ten stations were conveniently alliterated with the letter R: Reality Check, Replay, Rest, Re-Create, Relax, Rethink, Reduce, Refuel, Relate, and Resurrection. Station one begins with an examination of where one is at prior to the book. Here the chapter provides a helpful diagnostic checklists concerning physical, mental, emotional, relational, vocational, moral and spiritual warning signs. After this checklist station one provides a section evaluating the diagnostic data of how wide, how deep and how long has one’s problems have been going on. Station two looks back on one’s life’s changes and is broken down into two parts: Life situation is concerned with what has happened to you and secondly lifestyle which covers what we have a choice about. Among other things this station/chapter gives a good analysis of lifestyle dangers. Station three looks at the subject of sleep. I appreciated the case that the authors argued for the fact that lack of sleep has physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual consequences. For instance the book mentioned a study by University of Loughborough Sleep Research Center which found that women needs twenty more minutes of sleep than men. Station three also provides help for sleep such as knowledge, discipline, routine, media fast, family cooperation, exercise, commitment, faith in God’s promises, etc. Station four looks at the importance of the physical body. Here the medical background of author Shona Murray who was previously a doctor was really helpful. Like station three this station gives informative summary of medical findings. For instance I learned that routinely sitting nine hours a day does terrible things to the body such as increase obesity, diabetes and heart disease while walking two miles a day improves one’s health and reduces the chance of dementia by sixty percent. This station also has practical help and guidelines. Station five is on relaxing and station six is on one’s identity. Station seven is about cutting down on what is not needed by evaluating one’s spiritual, family, vocational, church and social life and seeing what is one’s purpose and plan and “pruning” in light of that. Station eight was titled “Refuel” and I thought this was one of the best chapter in the book with its nuanced discussion of the role of antidepressant medications. This chapter also had a very good discussion about assessing one’s energy fillers and drainers. Station nine is about relationship and five specific relationships are examined: God, husband, children, friends and older women. Finally station eleven is more eschatological with the encouragement of our future with God.

Overall I would recommend this book. I appreciate that this work is biblical and also careful in how the authors handle extrabiblical data while allowing Scripture to still be one’s ultimate authority. It is encouraging, practical and easy to read. Even if you are not a woman this is a book getting for those you love.

NOTE: This book was provided to me free by Crossway and Net Galley without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

A graced-filled identity will produce a grace paced life .

Just as we go to the gym to work out and build our stamina, we too must go to the gym of peace and refreshment. To have real peace is to have peace with our time, our resources, and the people that we are to care for. There are 10 stations of refreshment.

Station 1: The reality Check- starting with our identity, our limitations, our sins, our fears and ending with the promises of God.

Station 2: Replay- Replay is to replay where we failed. To look back and identify our weakness. To understand the causes of our stress. To understand our motivation and replace it with a Godly motivation.

Station 3: Rest - to rest in God's sovereignty. What does that look like and how can I apply that. How our sleep patterns reveal our idols. How less sleep increases our fear. We are morally obligated to get the sleep our body and minds need. Our physical welling is tied to our spiritual well being.

Station 4: Re-Create - How exercise helps our body to regroup. Strengthen our bodies and our minds. How play in our relationships gives joy. This I can attest to having grand children. And play with our spouse helps connect to the heart. Building trust and love.

Station 5: Relax: Quieting our heart and mind. "Be still and know that I am the Lord.". A great reminder of something so simple but so difficult to practice.


Station 6: Rethink- Thinking of who we are in light of who God is. Thinking of who we are determines how we view our selves and God.

Station 7; Reduce - What is dragging you down?

Station 8: Refuel - Good diet. How eating well helps us physically as well as emotionally. How eating poorly can cause us to feel run down and our minds mush.

Station 9: Relate- Team building exercises in five vital relational areas: With God, with our spouse, with our children and our friends.

Station 10: Resurrection - With the resurrection is a reminder of all things new. Pacing our selves. Dying to self, our self-will, our self-sufficiency and our self-image.

Each station was gospel centered in that it was a list of do's and don'ts but how we can be. And it all starts with our identity in Christ and what his work does. Putting our daily routines in perspective that we can stop and identify what steals our grace. It is not our circumstances, that usually keeps us going in circles but how we identify our selves.

Highly recommend.

A Special thank you to Crossway Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review