School of Velocity

Rubin's debut novel doesn't betray any of the deficiencies for most first novels - it isn't overly long and try to get EVERYTHING in; in fact, it is quite compact and moves swiftly (I read it in less than one day). Although some of it covers well-trod territory (same-sex boyhood experimentation), it doesn't really go where one might expect, and Rubin's prose is both economical and lyrical. Although Rubin is seemingly quite knowledgeable about the world of professional musicians, what didn't particularly work well for me is the near constant reference to music, both classical and contemporary, that I am sure probably enhances the work for those more cognizant of that field (Rubin proffers an accompanying 'Soundtrack' on his website to listen to as one goes along, but I didn't discover that till after I'd finished). And although his ending is both appropriate and fitting, it is still quite sad and borderline depressing. Regardless, I happily followed the exploits of Jan and Dirk, and related to their doomed love story.

'I saw Dirk before I met him. I saw him several times before I even knew his name. He was like a new word that, once learned, you heard spoken everywhere. Compelling attention. Mine, yours, anyone’s.'

Jan is a virtuoso pianist, consumed by strange unwelcome music, sounds screaming through his head when he is meant to be playing other pieces. Something is going frighteningly wrong, then there are the memories of the most compelling friend he ever had, Dirk. Their abrupt parting was strange, and the confusion still haunts his thoughts. Every person from their past seems to have stories to tell of what Dirk has been doing, each of his successes, his failures and all are surprised Jan knows so little. The two were never apart, impossible to separate in the minds of their peers. There are moments through the years where their paths cross, but somehow, Dirk always vanishes again, inexplicably. The crumbs he throws to Jan never fill his belly, the confidences never tell the entire story of his adult life. Jan is too wrapped up in his career, his performances and plans to realize everything is not as it seems, that something is always absent from what Dirk shares.

Their friendship was heavy with intimacy, thrills and denial in the daylight hours. Even now, from a distant with the maturity and wisdom of the passing years Jan doesn’t understand everything that happened, or all the feelings knotted inside of him. Dirk was an event, able to charm and seduce everyone in his path, even stealing Jan’s girlfriend but more crucial, stealing Jan’s loyalty and affection. Dirk is a fish he either cut loose, or who got himself off the hook years ago. Jan keeps secrets from his beloved Lena, about his health, his past. But he can’t hide what’s happening forever, anymore than he can neglect to confront Dirk and the past they shared. But has Dirk remained suspended in time, the same person Jan loved so dearly, just waiting for his friend to find him again?

This is a novel about music, love, and the overwhelmingly blind confusion of ourselves. It’s a young man coming of age whom may be a virtuoso pianist but can’t heart the music of his own heart. Strange, how everyone else around us sees us far more clearly, understands our lives and the people we orbit better than we do. Time has teeth, can we go back? It ends with a gasp.

Publication Date: June 5, 2018

Pushkin Press

A story of first love, misunderstandings, friendship, music, and an obsession with the past. This book in some parts reminded me of Gatsby, especially with Jan's want and obsession with his past. He, throughout the entire book, is reminiscing about his relationship with his childhood best friend Dirk. We learn slowly along with Jan what really happened so many years before. Jan was in denial in the past and he still is in the present.

Music is just as big a part of this plot as the past is in Jan's mind. If it wasn't Dirk, or his childhood taking over his mind, it was music. Jan is a musician who has a condition that causes him to have crippling auditory hallucinations, which are destroying him. Music has always been his life and slowly, he's realizing that might be over.

The concentration and discussions on music were one of the aspects that I didn't enjoy as much as the rest. I was not able to relate to it and a lot of what was being discussed really did not make sense to me. That's really just because I don't know music that well. I love music but I don't play it and have never really understood the terms. It did not ruin the book for me if anything it made me want to know more. It just didn't interest me as much as the other discussions.

The entire plot we learn of Jan's life before, during, and after his encounters with the strong-willed, misbehaving, and charming Dirk. I was waiting for the inevitable meetup of Jan and Dirk and will say that it broke me a little. Jan is clinging so hard to those memories of the past that he is not able to understand that it can't possibly be the same as when he was a teen. I really loved the idea of what we think happened in our minds might not be what is actually reality. Or that there's just so more to it all than what we think. It really has me thinking "What If?"

This book gave me serious Gatsby and A Separate Peace vibes, which was something I thoroughly enjoyed throughout. Gatsby wanted this envisioned past with Daisy, what he believed he could have with her and never realized that it would not be possible. Jan, has some moments of this, though I don't think he ever really understands them. Jan and Dirk's time in school made me think of Gene and Finny from A Separate Peace. Dirk was a reckless daredevil young man and Jan is this quiet boy who falls in real well with Dirk. We see them become close and know that this friendship will have some disastrous consequences.

I both loved and hated what this book made me feel. That's not a bad thing. The ending broke my heart and devastated me. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. This book made me feel a lot of things that I haven't in a long time while reading or if ever. It was a beautiful story that I believe could one day be considered a classic. I'm glad that I took the time to read it and that I found it. I know that I will not forget it anytime soon.

An amazingly well written book about music, friendship and obsession.

Eric Beck Rubin does not employ many words to tell his story, but the ones he chooses have power and impact. When you finish this book, I promise that you will need to compose yourself. I wasn't quite sure what I felt--heartache, anger, remorse. I'm still not sure.

Jan DeVries surely will break your heart. He struggles with an illness that increasingly debilitates him, so in those moments when he feels happiness, you find yourself feeling happy, too. Some of those moments are shared with Dirk Noosen, a boyhood friend whose importance in Jan's life cannot be underestimated. Look at Dirk's last name. You see "noose" in there, right? That's Dirk. In many ways, he is the noose around Jan's neck, cutting off oxygen and rendering Jan powerless and incapable of moving forward.

Eric Beck Rubin shows you the many facets of Jan's life and his mind. I found myself wanting to listen to some of the music Jan plays, and I certainly have a better understanding of the stresses and euphorias of classical musicians.

This is not a gentle book to read. Eric Beck Rubin demands your focus, and when he's finished with you, you will feel exhausted. And you will feel it intensely, in a very good way.

Jan and Dirk are teenage boys when they meet in the Netherlands. Jan is studying the piano and dreams of a musical career. Dirk has already had a career as a child actor. Jan is a quiet boy, while Dirk is flamboyant and outgoing. Jan soon is obsessed with Dirk and follows him everywhere. To his surprise, Dirk seems to want to be with him and they soon become fast friends, with sleepovers where they watch porn. They lose touch when Dirk goes to America to find his way to stardom and Jan stays in the Netherlands to go to music school. They don’t see each other again until Jan becomes ill and reaches out to Dirk.

OK, I have to admit that I was turned off by the beginning of this book. Dirk’s language and topics of conversation were sometimes a bit offensive and while young boys may think of only one thing – sex – it isn’t my preferred reading material. Dirk’s character seemed to go quite a bit over board with his rebellious spirit although the adults unbelievably took it all in stride. But I’m very glad I stuck with this book. It really turned around after they each went off to pursue their adult lives and I became engrossed in the book. It’s a beautifully written story about male friendship and quite sad. I also enjoyed the author’s description of a musician’s life and the total absorption in the music. The book leaves open quite a few questions and that’s fine with me. I didn’t need this type of book wrapped up nicely. It’s a powerful, emotional read and I don’t even want to start another book yet as I want to give this one some more thought for a while.

Recommended.

An intelligent and thoughtful exploration of the power of music, a coming-of-age story and a dissection of how an intense adolescence friendship can have unexpected consequences. Jan and Dirk are close friends at school but their lives diverge when Jan goes on to become a world-renowned pianist. His success is threatened, however, when the music he hears in his head takes over and drowns out the music he should be playing. Could that early relationship with Dirk be in some way the cause? A story of memory and music, of love and loss, I found this a powerful psychological novel, well-constructed and with a careful and well thought-out slow reveal, and a convincing conclusion.

A coming of age story of sorts- complete with love, obsession and music. Jan's auditory hallucinations are an intriguing addition to what might otherwise be familiar territory. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. A good read.