With These Words

Whether you see your marriage as healthy or struggling, you'll find a balance of biblical wisdom and practical tools for better communication in Rob Flood's book, With These Words. Can I just say that I found this book extremely hopeful, encouraging, and exciting! Honestly, the tools are simple, but that doesn't mean they're easy. We're talking things like the tool of first response and the tool of mirroring. You'll read about these tools and think, "Duh, I should have thought about that." But while the principles themselves are not overly complication, that doesn't mean these tools are easy to use. It will take intention and focus to put these tools to use every day. But that's part of the beauty of With These Words. Flood doesn't just give you the biblical background. He doensn't just give you tools. He actually takes time to show you HOW these might play out in some typcial marital conflicts or situations.

Practical, helpful, useful. tha'ts how I'd describe With These Words by Rob Flood. You'll learn how to take resonsiblity for your words and how to use them wisely. You won't regret buying a copy of this book. Read it prayerfully, take it seriously, and practice it intentionally. You WILL see results. Honestly, you can't change your partner. You an only be responsible for yourself. But as you cooperate with the Holy Spirit and begin to communicate and respond differently to your spouse, your spouse will likely respond differently to you and change will be effected.

For those of you who want to know a little more about the book, Section 1, Truth for Communication, leads readers to dig into God's Word to learn more about communication. Flood discusses the fact that what comes out of our mouths is simply a reflection of our hearts, and he also addresses the purpose of communication, principles of communication, wise and foolish words, and taming the tonegue.

From there, Flood moves on to Section 2, Tools for Communication where it gets practical. He offers five specific tools that, practiced faithfully, will make a difference in their marital relationship--including the tools of first response and mirroring. Just in caser readers are left thinking, "that's a great tool, but how does it work in the real world," Flood provides some scenarios to show how these tools might play out in various types of marital conflicts or situations. That's in Section 3, Working It Out.

Again, I can't recommend this book highly enough. And, while Flood specifically targets communication in marriage, it's true that these are principles that can be applied in most relationships. With These Words is one book I'll be referencing over and over again as I try to become a better communicator. And, it's a book I'll probably be giving as a gift to others.

Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this honest review. However, the opinions expressed are my own.

With these words- A Communication Vow

With these words - I will seek to build you up rather than tear you down.
With these words - I will do all I can to reiterate what you mean on a way that honors and respects you.
With these hands - I will touch you caringly, seeking unity even through the hardest conversations.
With these eyes-I will look on you tenderly, avoiding judgment and scorn.
With these ears - I will listen intently to understand what you're trying to say.

I will seek to love the Lord first and foremost, loving you all the while.
With these words - I will share grace, mercy, and forgiveness as it has abundantly been shared with me by our Savior.
And with God's help, our communication will draw us more closely together, for the good of our home and the glory of God.

Communication can be broken in so many different ways in a marriage and in any relationship. If we think it is the other person, it may do you better to think how you are responding in your communication. Maybe you shut down others. Maybe you don't listen well. Maybe your words hurt rather than heal. Communication is not just about what is being said, but also what we hear and how we hear. Seeking to be right and win the battle is not how marriage is won but is the way for a marriage to be lost. There is hope.

Flood brings marriage communication scenarios for us to see. Maybe you will see yourself. I know I did. The text starts with 3 parts. Part one - Truth for Communication.- There are rules to follow. Part two - Tools for Communication- the practical application to the rules and Part three- Working it Out- If you will, I took this to mean the same way as we work out our salvation. Let me explain. Communication is about the gospel. How we treat others with our words- do they give life or death and how we listen to the other, how we respond. The gospel is about the response to those words . This is what makes this a fantastic text on communication, because it is not well for just our marriage but any relationship we have. Is it God glorifying or is it about elevation of self.

Highly recommend.

A Special Thank you to New Growth Press and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

This book has its roots in experience. The Flood marriage got off to a very rocky start, with conflict, misunderstanding and anger. It was not until a breakthrough of repentance that the couple found grace in communication.

Flood provides a biblical foundation for marriage, practical tools for communication, and various ways of moving forward with what he has provided. He uses biblical illustrations as well as examples from his own marriage and marriages of others.

For me, the most thought provoking part of the book was when Flood wrote of the foolishness of saying “There is no God.” (Loc 501/1987) The foolishness is not in saying God does not exist, but rather, in this situation, at this time, I am going to act and talk as if God does not exist. What foolishness to live any part of life without acknowledging God and His design for my life, my conversation, my actions.

I really appreciate this book. Flood has a good method of communicating truth. He notes we must be willing to recognize our own weaknesses and be willing to change. He gives great principles for communication and insightful strategies for living them out. Questions for discussion or reflection are included at the end of each chapter.

Food for thought: “Words were designed to give life.” (Loc 336/1987)

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher My comments are an independent and honest review.

What an incredible tool for marriages! Rob Flood has shared deep insights to the early years of his marriage, which were rocky at best, and backs up his reflections and experience with scripture. The tips for communication between couples are valuable whether your marriage is strong or struggling. Practical and thought provoking. I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley and was under no obligation to write a review.

The book starts off with the author sharing how troubled his marriage was and how fast it started. Like so many marriages, their problems began with communication. From there he introduces a few couples who are also struggling with specific communication issues, and they are easily relatable.

With These Words is a marriage book with stories to identify with, practical tools to use, and Biblical wisdom to apply. From forgiveness to mirroring, there is a lot to digest and utilize. There is also a section at the end of each chapter to reflect and discuss.

I think any couple would benefit from With These Words. Like the author, their issues started on the honeymoon. Some, it’s when kids come. Or after a few years and you hide the conflict and let everything fall into complacency. Whatever the situation, I think you’ll find it in this book, and great wisdom to emerge from it stronger. I definitely recommend!

I received an advanced reader copy for review.