Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls

A fantastic, deeply personal memoir on addiction and codependency.

I'm not sure anything I say about this will quite do it justice - Aron writes deftly about her own personal experience of growing up with addiction within her immediate family, her relationship with K - a man she meets as a teenager and later becomes a heroin addict, the history of Al-Anon (the support group for family and friends of alcoholics) and her own experiences of the group, as well as slightly more general sections on love, codependency and how the two are much more complex when intertwined. These themes are all weaved together with a more "traditional" memoir about her depression, marriage and motherhood.

Given all the different themes this could have easily become confused and seemed like it was trying to achieve too much, but that never felt the case; in fact I found this pretty unputdownable. Highly recommended.

There are many, many memoirs about addiction out there, but Nina Renata Aron rather focuses on co-dependency, the way the people who have close relationships with addicts are affected by this illness. She does so by contemplating her own life and the family she grew up in: The way her grandmother and mother lived and taught love and relationships, the heroin addiction of her beloved older sister Lucia, her own background in the punk scene and the Riot Grrrl movement, her depression and drinking habits, the way she chose her husband, and of course her relationship with K, the core topic of the book. K was her first love, and years after they split up, she takes up with him again - but now she has two young chldren, and K's a heroin addict.

Does our protagonist enable her lover's bad choices by not letting him down? Is her wish to help him pathological? Is K's addiction a lifestyle choice? Why are co-dependents usually women? Aron's writing is raw and honest, and she frequently refers to scientific research, historic developments (like the temperance movement, to which the title of the book alludes), and other writers like Terese Marie Mailhot and Rachel Cusk. In an intersectional approach, she investigates how gender roles - the (good) daughter, sister, mother, lover, wife etc. - affect decisions and can be traps.

It's certainly possible that the real K simply had a name that started with a K, but I found it interesting that Aron chose this letter to refer to him - Franz Kafka famously employed characters named K in his texts which investigate "identities of potential" (as Malte Kleinwort put it), of what people might become. Aron now states that co-dependents fall in love with their partners' potential, with what they might become if they were cured - while I find that (hopeful) sentiment relatable, it certainly is a kafkaesk idea (plus Aron holds degrees in Russian and Eurasian studies, and Kafka was born in Prague).

A real pageturner of a memoir about destructive love, a book which shows that not only addiction is an illness, but co-dependency is as well.

Wow. Where do I begin? I don't think I have ever read a book like this before, it is emotional, raw and brutally honest. It is not my "go to'" type of book but it is incredibly written from start to finish and I am so glad I read it. I did find myself having to digest the book in chunks before I could continue, due to the themes and topics. At times it was a hard read but please don't let that deterred you from reading, it is flawlessly written dealing with hard topics in an honest personal light. The book allowed me a unique perspective on a story of addiction that we don't usually see. I highly recommend the book. Beautiful.
*Thank you NetGalley and Serpent's Tail/Profile Books for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.*

I have read many memoirs about addiction, (an area of particular interest having worked in addiction services in the past) and Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls by Nina Renata Aron ranks with the best of them. It is a brutally honest and incredibly compelling book that held my interest from the first page to the last word, and I applaud the author for her candour and her skill in telling her story. What really makes this book stand out from the crowd is the focus on codependency and how addiction impacts not just on the addict themselves but also on those around them, family and friends.
In this book Aron gives an account of a toxic relationship with K, a man she first met as a teen then later encountered again after marrying and having children. Despite knowing that K was an addict, she believed that he was trying to get better , and so embarked on an affair that eventually caused her marriage to end while she moved in with K and ended up financially supporting his habit. Over the course of the book we learn that she first encountered addiction at an early age, having seen her older sister develop a habit and witnessed her parents struggles to support their child and help her stop. Besides her very personal account, Aron also includes some well researched information on the history of addiction and codependency, discussing such topics as the Temperance League , from which the book gets its eye catching title, to peer support groups such as Al- Anon. A lot of time is spent on the roles of women and the dangers posed by traditional gender roles such as the pressure to be the " good " daughter/ wife / mother etc which take something pure and twist it into a destructive force.
I went into this book thinking I knew what to expect and came out of it feeling like I was crushed, I was unable to put the book down while reading it and didn't stop thinking about what I had read for days. Overall a highly recommended, deeply honest and personal book that people may relate to in ways they never expected, but that will resonate with them for a long, long time.
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher , all opinions are my own.

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls is an exploration of addiction largely through the lens of co-dependency, and particularly why women inhabit this role. With a close proximity to addiction through her life, Nina Renata Aron considers her relationships to those addicted and addiction itself, whether familial or her relationship with K. Exploring the histories of addiction and Al-Anon and asking big questions on the yearning to help, enabling, the effects of choices made, how destructive and all-consuming love and can be, and what it really takes to hit breaking point, it's deeply personal, moving, insightful. Brilliant book, incredible writing.