Crash
How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver
by Rachel Michelberg
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Pub Date Apr 27 2021 | Archive Date Nov 30 2021
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Description
Rachel likes to think of herself as a nice Jewish girl, dedicated to doing what’s honorable, just as her parents raised her to do. But when her husband, David, survives a plane crash and is left with severe brain damage, she faces a choice: will she dedicate her life to caring for a man she no longer loves, or walk away?
Their marriage had been rocky at the time of the accident, and though she wants to do the right thing, Rachel doesn’t know how she is supposed to care for two kids in addition to a now irrational, incontinent, and seizure-prone grown man. But then again, what kind of selfish monster would refuse to care for her disabled husband, no matter how unhappy her marriage had been? Rachel wants to believe that she can dedicate her life to David’s needs, but knows in her heart it is impossible.
Crash tackles a pervasive dilemma in our culture: the moral conflicts individuals face when caregiving for a disabled or cognitively impaired family member.
A Note From the Publisher
Advance Praise
WINNER, 2021 NEXT GENERATION INDIE BOOK AWARD IN MEMOIR, PERSONAL STRUGGLE/HEALTH ISSUES
"...an engaging exploration of duty, guilt, and self-preservation. Michelberg is a frank writer.... continually willing to unpack her guilt while also exploring options for her own emotional survival. A cleareyed consideration of difficult ethical and familial choices."
―KIRKUS REVIEWS
“I couldn’t put this book down . . . Rachel Michelberg gives the reader the gift of unfiltered honesty, without excuses or complaints. She shows us how the clarity of a scrupulous heart can guide us through the worst of times. Crash is an important story told by a remarkable storyteller.”
―JOANNE SILVER JONES, author of Headstrong: Surviving a Traumatic Brain Injury
“I read this book cover to cover and then finally remembered to breathe. Crash is a profoundly human story told with grace and raw honesty. Michelberg is courageous enough to put all of herself into the pages, and we are all the better for it. Crash will stay with you―in your mind, heart, and gut―for a long time after you finish it.”
―MARK LUKACH, author of My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward
“ . . . a skillfully written, riveting account of Michelberg’s struggle to sustain herself and her family after a tragic event radically alters their lives. As a mother, she is protective, resourceful and competent as she boldly guides her family forward. Vigilant and vulnerable, she exemplifies a woman who speaks her truth, however hard that is to bear. Crash will challenge your own sense of what is important in fighting for a family’s well-being.”
―ANNA PENENBERG, Amazon best-selling author of Dancing in the Narrows: A Mother-Daughter Odyssey Through Chronic Illness
"I was struck by Rachel's honesty and her realness. I think this is the kind of book that a lot of people are going to find heavily relatable."
—BOOK PLEASURES
“A heart wrenching look at the underappreciated caregivers in our lives…. Michelberg’s writing was fantastic…. it’s one memoir that I know I will be thinking about for a long time to come.”
—BOUND 4 ESCAPE blog
“…powerful and heart breaking….I won’t spoil the ending, because this is definitely one that you should read yourself, but I felt such a hopeful and light feeling after reading this. I want to thank Rachel Michelberg for her bravery in sharing this very difficult time in her life and her honesty. I think it could help others in similar situations.”
—TEDDY ROSE BOOK REVIEWS PLUS
“…an intense and emotional book…Rachel was so brutally honest, putting down information without bias or pretense. She said her truth and owned it…”
—READER’S FAVORITE, five stars
Marketing Plan
This title is also available in e-book and audio formats.
This title is also available in e-book and audio formats.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9781647420321 |
| PRICE | $16.95 (USD) |
| PAGES | 224 |
Featured Reviews
Bee L, Reviewer
A book that is as bittersweet as it is moving and powerful-- 'Crash: How I Became A Reluctant Caregiver,' tells the story of a woman's fight for normalcy amid disaster. Rachel Michelberg never expected to have to be a caregiver. As a young mother of two, she and her husband, David, began going through a rocky patch in their marriage that unfortunately culminated in her falling into a romantic relationship with another man.
But everything in Rachel's life came to a screeching halt when her husband was in a terrible plane crash which resulted in him having extensive brain and spinal damage. After spending weeks in the ICU and months after that in the hospital, Rachel had to decide if she was ready to take on full time care of a husband who was no longer the same man that she married.
This is the kind of decision that many of us dread and that would be difficult for anyone, but it is also the kind of decision that many people must make every single day. After all, illnesses and accidents don't care how your marriage is going or whether you are capable of dealing with them physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Rachel seems like a strong person and she is lucky to have the love of her children and family, as I'm sure many of us would be during a time like this. Though David changed quite a bit mentally after the accident, it was nice to see at times that there was still a connection between them and that Rachel did still want the best for him.
This memoir has a lot of intriguing things to say about love, marriages and life in general and I would recommend it to anyone that likes a powerful story.
I, for one, will be thinking about this one for a while.
Teddy R, Reviewer
Wow! A memoir that is both powerful and heartbreaking. I’m not ashamed to say that this one made me tear up more than few times.
Rachel Michelberg had been married to her husband, David when both of their lives were suddenly changed forever. David was flying a plane over the California countryside when he was involved in a crash that left him and his friend badly hurt. After being rushed to the ICU, it was determined that David had suffered massive brain injuries that would result in memory loss and other complications.
Now, David was deemed unable to care for himself and likely to remain that way for the rest of his life. Rachel had to decide if she was up to caring full time for her husband as well as taking care of their two young children and dealing with her own health issues and work as a cantor.
I put myself through university, working in group homes with adults with developmental disabilities. Some of the people I worked with were also in wheel chairs. I know first hand what back breaking work that is, even for well trained staff. I loved what I did because I knew I was making a difference in peoples lives. I was also gaining valuable experience that I knew will help me after I graduated with my social work degrees. However, I understand that not everyone can do this type of work and that is okay. Now, in my 50’s, there is no way I could do it but am so glad I got to do it when I was younger!
At home caregivers are people that are too often ignored or forgotten about in our society and this memoir is an excellent example of that. The difficulties that Rachel faced and the decisions about her husband’s care that all fell to her were affecting and upsetting. I can’t imagine having to face questions like that about a loved one and I hope that I never have to.
On top of everything else, before the accident, Rachel and her husband were going through a rough patch in their marriage and she was considering asking him for a divorce. Of course, after the accident, this question seemed impossible to bring up and Rachel had to decide if she wanted to remain married to this man and provide constant care for him.
I won’t spoil the ending, because this is definitely one that you should read yourself, but I felt such a hopeful and light feeling after reading this. I want to thank Rachel Michelberg for her bravery in sharing this very difficult time in her life and her honesty. I think it could help others in similar situations.
5 stars for a beautiful and moving story and I hope Rachel is in a happier place now!
