Raising a Rare Girl

“A remarkable book . . . I found myself thinking that all expectant and new parents should read it.” —Michelle Slater

A New York Times Book Review Editors' Choice

In Raising a Rare Girl, Lanier explores how to defy the tyranny of normal and embrace parenthood as a spiritual practice that breaks us open in the best of ways.

Like many women of her generation, when Heather Lanier was expecting her first child she did everything by the book in the hope that she could create a SuperBaby, a supremely healthy human destined for a high-achieving future.

But her daughter Fiona challenged all of Lanier’s preconceptions. Born with an ultra-rare syndrome known as Wolf-Hirschhorn, Fiona received a daunting prognosis: she would experience significant developmental delays and might not reach her second birthday. The diagnosis obliterated Lanier’s perfectionist tendencies, along with her most closely held beliefs about certainty, vulnerability, God, and love.

With tiny bits of mozzarella cheese, a walker rolled to library story time, a talking iPad app, and a whole lot of pop and reggae, mother and daughter spend their days doing whatever it takes to give Fiona nourishment, movement, and language. Loving Fiona opens Lanier up to new understandings of what it means to be human, what it takes to be a mother, and above all, the aching joy and wonder that come from embracing the unique life of her rare girl.