I really enjoyed this original book. I’m not sure what I was expecting but I really enjoyed the narrative and the main character. I found the story to be incredibly interesting and two immediately draw the reader into it.

Loved this, incredibly up my alley. I can most immediately compare this novel to the work of Bae Suah, not just because of the German and Korean settings (though I'm sure the comparison was influenced by that) but because of the aimless wandering (yes, there's a goal being chased after here, but the result is still very much one that emphasizes stumbling upon people to interact with), vaguely magical-realism quality of it all (other writers that came to mind: Sayaka Murata, especially Earthlings; An Yu; Samanta Schweblin. Even a bit of A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki, what with the sort of meta exploration of writing being influenced by the outside world and vice versa). Every character in Y/N is tinged by the off-kilter environment they exist within, leading none of them to act or speak like real humans so much as strange elements of that environment. Of course, this environment can be said to be somewhat of a construction of the main character's psyche, as before she falls deeply into her obsession, there's some sense of normalcy. With time, though, interactions become more stilted and strange, and each of these interactions along the way is delightful, with some combination of humor and nicely earnest determination coming through. A hell of a lot actually happens in this novel, with the main character jumping from one situation to the next fairly briskly, but the style in which it's written turns even these fairly solidly defined events into something with a natural flow, one with the edges between moments made fuzzy.

It's impressive that this novel is able to explore this parasocial spiral in a way that doesn't come off as trite. I can imagine a million ways that such a concept could be poorly executed. I think what makes it especially work in this novel is how psychologically tuned it all feels. This doesn't really take place in the real world, but on a stage that serves primarily to reveal aspects of our character's mind. The aspects of writing being a merging of reality and personal self with obsession and desire are well-done, and there's something bold about even the title of this novel, which borrows from the Y/N character the main character is writing about - a "your name" self-insert originating from fan fiction boards. How much of ourselves are we meant to place in what we write? How much of ourselves are we meant to place in what we read? Again, questions that feel vaguely reminiscent of the aforementioned Ruth Ozeki novel, although explored in an utterly different way.

Although I mentioned a handful of comparisons, this novel is wholly unique in subject matter and style, and Esther Yi instills a very particular voice. I will absolutely find myself on the lookout for whatever she puts out next.

Surreal and zany - Y/N is a philosophical look at celebrity obsession and modern romance. A novel following a Korean-American living in Berlin who embarks upon a journey to Seoul in order to meet k-pop idol, Moon.

Like his namesake, Moon has a gravitational pull that enamores the protagonist after seeing him at one of his shows. She loves him because she misses him, she misses him because she loves him. Y/N (your name) fan-fiction is thrown into these ethereal chapters.

The whole novel had a dreamlike and fantastical vibe. The protagonist meets different characters along the way and engages in conversations that are stunted and offbeat, blurring between the lines of fantasy and reality.

I think Yi did a fantastic job of dealing with celebrity obsession by incorporating fan-fiction. In a world of blind loyalty and dedication to all things k-pop, Yi also briefly highlights Korean fetishisation amongst foreigners who go to Korea in search of love from their idols. Shedding their skins and neutralising their accents in order to “become Korean.”

Yi transcends boundaries and disturbs our ideas of identity and the self.

Thank you net gally for sending me a free copy of Y/N in exchange for a honest review.


I struggle so much to find the proper words to review this because I know that whatever I say will not do this book justice. You simply have to pick this up to understand why it's so special.


Ultimately brilliant, Y/N is the best written portrayal of para social relationships and obsession with the flawless version of celebrities, one can easily dream about when they don't know that celebrity enough to understand their humanity.


The writing made me unable to put this book down. Genuinely one of the best novels I've read this year.

This was an interesting read, mostly because I didn’t know what was happening for some of it. It’s a very interior novel that examines parasocial relationships and the concept of fandom. I am not a Kpop fan but I have been a fan of boy bands in the past, so I was fascinated by the different ways people experience their fandom. As it is from our protagonist’s perspective, we are eventually never sure what is actually happening and what is part of the Y/N fanfiction she has been writing. I would love to discuss this one with fellow former fans of bands, as I’m sure everyone has a unique perspective on this book. Overall, a fascinating and fresh literary fiction examination of fandom.

This book felt like a fever dream, but in a good way. This book really explores the way that extreme fandom can tip the scales into obsession. My favorite parts were the few moments of clarity that seemed to break through the main character’s haze, and we could see how irrationally she was acting. This is very surrealist literary fiction, which I know will appeal to a lot of people. My only complaint is I felt the beginning was a bit clunky, and we could have eased into the story a bit smoother.

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing for the ARC.

Have I already read the best book of 2023? I would be surprised if not.

Esther Yi seems poised to break out onto the scene in a way reminiscent of Ottessa Moshfegh, with a similar mastery of the surreal, the strange, and the oddly beautiful. I've rarely seen sentences so staggeringly well put together, and the world that she creates with them is one I treasure like a limited water supply - I find myself taking sips so as not to drain this well too quickly.

Ultimately a treatise on identity, love, meaning and being, Esther Yi has perfectly captured the neuroses of our modern society, and I'm eagerly looking forward to her next book in a way I haven't since the untimely death of David Foster Wallace. With Y/N, we might be witnessing the birth of a legendary literary career. And I sincerely hope that's the case.

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing for the ARC.

“He’d assumed that Y/N stood for ‘Yes/no,’ believing the slash to signify the protagonist’s fragmented sense of self.”

Thanks to Astra Publishing House and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Esta es la historia surrealista de una mujer obsesionada. Se sintió como un mal viaje y hasta la mitad del libro no le conseguí pillar el punto. En el mejor de los sentidos, esta es la versión oscura, adulta y existencial (y mejor) de El Principito.

Al empezar este libro, esperaba que fuese una subversión del género fanfic, y algo de eso hay, pero no de la forma en la que podía esperar yo, y creo que por eso me costó entrar en él. No estaba preparada para los elementos surrealistas, para que el libro se situase “en la realidad, pero no”. En otras reseñas que he visto, le sacan parecidos con obras de otras autoras, pero yo creo que nunca había leído algo así. Hacia la mitad, comencé a aceptar todo lo que el libro me contaba sin cuestionarme los límites de la realidad y lo disfruté mucho más.

Lo que más me ha gustado del libro, sin duda alguna, es la prosa de la autora. Usa un registro elevado, excesivamente formal, un poco recargado, pero lejos de jugar en contra del libro, le aporta una sensación de distancia, de irrealidad, hace que se sienta aún más como un sueño. Además, al usar lenguaje culto para describir todo lo mundano, casi todas las páginas de este libro acaban teniendo alguna frase lapidaria. No es un lenguaje que vaya a funcionar en todo tipo de libros, pero en este es la estrella.

Contra lo que pueda parecer, la protagonista no es y/n, pero tampoco tiene nombre. Resulta un poco paradójico que las y/n de los fanfics suelan tener una personalidad esbozada (si bien muchas veces llena de clichés) que no tiene por qué representar a todas las lectoras, mientras que el único rasgo definitorio de nuestra protagonista que NO es y/n es su obsesión con su ídolo: debería ser un lienzo en blanco perfecto con el que se pudiesen identificar todas las fans de cualquier persona, pero se siente tan ajena y distante que es imposible. Ni siquiera se puede empatizar con ella, aunque en cierto momento eso mismo hace que te empiece a dar pena.

La mayoría de los demás personajes están muy desdibujados. He dicho que me recuerda a El principito porque, durante su búsqueda, la protagonista se va encontrado con todo tipo de personas que le ofrecen su propia perspectiva vital. Sorprendentemente, la suya no es la más bizarra.

Más que una subversión del género fanfic, este libro es una exploración psicológica de la obsesión con una persona. Lo recomiendo sobre todo si os gusta la ficción literaria no muy anclada en el mundo real, los libros impredecibles y, paradójicamente, las protagonistas que no gustan.

I had no idea what to expect before starting, so my enjoyment of this novel snuck up on me.

Esther Yi’s debut is an engaging and brilliant exploration of modern-day parasocial relationships. In addition, there are many intriguing insights into identity, love, and belonging. The writing style caught me off guard very early on in the novel. Her sentences were somehow beautiful and lyrical while perfectly capturing the absurdity of what was occurring with the protagonist.

I usually write a couple of paragraphs for these, but I am having a hard time finding the right words. This book was a fever dream in the best way possible.

Y/N is both fascinating and original. I look forward to re-reading it upon release!

Very unique and difficult to describe, I think I liked this. It reminded me of a fantasy story, although it's in the literary genre by the publisher. Strong writing skills are on display. Those seeking the unusual and surreal will love this.

Thanks very much for the free ARC for review!!

Y/N by Esther Yi is a surrealistic minimalistic story of fan culture, voyeurism, and the entirely unhealthy obsession which can come from being an incredibly devoted fan of something. It gave me a feeling of “What the hell is going on?” enough times that I would usually be put off by it, but the narrator’s growing obsession made me want to see what she would do next and keep reading.

Y/N is about a woman who goes to a concert and is instantly obsessed with one of the group’s members. She does everything she can think of to be closer to him, including dying and cutting her hair to look more like his and eventually traveling to Korea to search for him and make him know exactly how she feels about him.
Every new character she encounters is completely absurd and unrealistic, and they seem to explain more of the main character’s psyche than act like real people from the real world.
While the story was interesting, the first half was very slow and chunky, and it took me a month to get through it – and it took an afternoon to get through the second half haha! So I would say that not giving up on this is definitely worth it, even if it might be a bit slow at times.

The writing in and of itself could often come across as pretentious and redundant. The narrator really loves big words, and it was a bit difficult to follow as a non-native speaker. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had to look up words multiple times on one page, and it obviously pulled me out of the story every time. Also – while there were a bunch of epic descriptions and good messages, they sometimes felt very spelled out, which removed a big part of the impact.

With all that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I definitely recommend it to others who also enjoy surreal and slightly fever-dream-y stories.

I'd simply say, an interesting read that feels like being caught in someone's fever dream. Very poetic writing and stream of consciousness style. Definitely not recommended for people who want a grounded story, this feels like an air you can't quite grip as it pass through your way.
A book to enjoy and to sit on, sip your coffee or tea on; not a book to understand and figure out.

The book tells about our main character's dive into the opium world of parasocial relationship with her object of obsession, which happens to be the youngest member of Korean boygroup with the name Moon. This feels like reading those dizzying Japan literature, btw.

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing for providing me with this eARC in exchange of my honest review of the book.

It took me a little bit of time to warm up to this one and get used to the writing style, but when I did I fell in love. Yi's perceptive exploration of fandoms and the roles people play within them, as well as the depth of feeling that are evoked in those who do partake in fandoms is sublime. While I am not a K-Pop stan, I have been known to fall in love with fictional characters (most notably Peeta Mellark), and the feelings described by the narrator in Y/N were not entirely dissimilar to the feelings I have for fictional icons. It was different, though -- because my characters do not exist in the real world my interactions and perceptions of them are not the same as they would be if they existed in the real world. I still think the description of how the narrator felt about Moon was accurate since he, in this world, was a real person.

The narrative is playful yet immersive, and what was most interesting was that you never get a true sense of the narrator's self nor a true understanding of her, only glimpses of who she is -- because her fascination and obsession with Moon far overshadows her own personality.

When I first entered into this novel, I worried that the execution would not live up to the concept, but it surpassed my expectations in its exploration of the multi-faceted dynamics people have within fandoms -- not just with each other but with the celebrity/character itself. Overall, I really enjoyed my time with this novel and will be revisiting it when it is published.

Thank you to Netgalley, Esther Yi and Astra Publishing House for the free eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Wow! This is such a unique story. I have never read something like this before. The writing was beautiful. I love how the story dealt with an obsessive relationship between fan and celebrity. This was such a great read!

Y/N is completely unique and totally spellbinding. Anyone who has ever been engrossed in a fandom will somewhat understand—yet still feel deeply unsettled by—the level of obsession woven into this story. I really enjoyed this strange, quick read.

Thank you to Astra Publishing House and NetGalley for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Ok HOW does someone review a book like this?? This book falls on the spectrum of “indescribable books that are unforgettable yet almost impossible to summarize wtf I actually read”.

This story is SO strange and yet, unexpectedly flawless. Philosophical and deranged, with characters who say things that seem so misaligned from reality, that a profound new version of reality is born from their very thoughts.

Parts of this book felt like a mind trap, a paradox of meaningful senselessness. I really felt utterly taken aback at pieces of this book, at the same time as being wildly impressed by them.

Esther Yi creates such vivid, weird characters by writing things no “normal” person would likely admit to behaving like or thinking. Her writing is excellent and troubling, in perfect balance.

But they do not walk side by side. On the street, she stays several meters behind him so that she is always longing for him. Despite their open mutual understanding that they are in love, they are slow about coming together. They meet seventeen times before they properly touch.

This is a book about unrequited love, about extreme self-delusion and obsession, the almost-hypnotic nature of celebrity-fan culture, and the ways a person can willingly fall into the arms of a fantasy.

An unnamed MC wants nothing to do with K-pop star Moon, but after being dragged to a concert, she becomes immediately infatuated to the point of completely surrendering her existence in favor of a blind devotion to all things Moon. She projects an idealized version of him, which gives her unshakeable resolve to enter into an all-consuming relationship with her imagined reality.

She drops her boyfriend, suddenly moves from Germany to Korea, and fuses her reality with the Y/N (Your Name) fanfiction she writes that is blended into the plot of this book. Her obsession with Moon quickly eclipses her personality and sense of self, which allows her to desperately immerse herself in the cultish fandom that she connects with.

As the plot progresses, we see how the MC’s vision of Moon becomes more and more detatched from the person that Moon actually is in the physical world, and more and more attached to an ethereal silhouette of him that she and other fans have co-created.

I loved how this book portrayed the fetishization of celebrities by enamored fans, the way that fandoms devour the subject of their admiration, and the emptiness that can come from falling in love with a fantasy.

Truly, one of the most memorable books I've read in the last couple of years. Cannot wait to sell this to customers when it comes out.

What a bizarre and singular fever dream of a book. So incredibly engrossing. We follow a woman's quest to get closer to a k-pop singer named Moon, Intersects such interesting ideas of fandom, Korean culture, and the quest to be known. I really loved it.

Y/N is dizzying and one of a kind. The story follows a Korean-American woman who becomes enthralled with kpop boy, Moon, who unexpectedly becomes the center of her universe and reason for existing. Upon first laying eyes on Moon, our narrator enters her life’s second act. There was Before Moon, now welcome to After Moon. With her we embark on an unhinged journey to find Moon in Seoul, South Korea.

I can recall the surreal, dreamlike nature of the novel like I read it yesterday, and after a jam-packed year of reading I cant say I’ve read anything quite like this. It explores the oddities that are para-social relationships and stan culture. This book is a true fever dream, of fandoms, devotion, and unrequited love.

I really loved this book - a protagonist with a unique voice and believable situations heightened to ridiculous levels. The voice felt a lot like Selin from The Idiot - cynical, clever, relatable, infuriating. The plot moved at a good pace and the world of this story felt very real. Such a smart commentary on fan culture and parasocial relationships.

The deal: The title is pronounced like the letters Y-N. Not like “yes, no.” Instead, like “your/name,” which is a type of fan fiction where readers insert their own name where the protagonists would be. But anyway, this is about a Korean American woman living in Berlin who becomes obsessed with a K-Pop idol, writes fanfic about him, and travels to Seoul to find him. It’s also about philosophy and love and art and death.
.
Is it worth it?: I have truly no idea. If you loved Pure Colour and are intrigued by fandom generally, you will probably like this. Otherwise, it’s fooking weird. There’s somehow a lot and nothing going on at the same time. It’s absurd and obtuse and bleak and heady, and I can’t really say I’ve read anything like it. Regardless, I’m excited for whatever Esther Yi does next.
.
Pairs well with: Sheila Heti, the more surreal stories in Ling Ma’s Bliss Montage
.
B-

Thank you Net Galley and Astra Publishing House for the arc.

Esther Yi's Y/N was the best book to start 2023 with. I found the writing style a little difficult at first and had to look up the meaning of some words, but once I got into the flow of reading it, I fell in love with the style. Esther Yi has a magical way of describing things, their prose is beautiful and cuts straight to your heart, forcing you to feel what the narrator feels. I really liked how hazy and dreamy things were, almost like everything was a hallucination. I really liked the exploration of the dynamic between fan and star as well as parasocial relations. The novel is the perfect example of the kind of literary fiction I love, surreal, blurry, and so intriguing. I feel like there were so many layers of meaning, this is definitely a novel I will be rereading again and again, so that my subconscious can slowly peel layer after layer.

effervescent and doused in absurdity, esther yi’s Y/N explores contemporary culture when our narrator, a korean american woman, develops an unexpected obsession with a k-pop star named moon. moon’s sudden retirement inspires her to go beyond livestreams and concerts and instead begin a frenzied expedition to find moon. however, upon succeeding in her journey, what will this meeting prove? will it be all she had hoped and dreamed of, or will the facade of intimacy fall away when the distance is closed?

compulsive and propelling, Y/N is quick read that does not sacrifice depth. yi’s every sentence, every word, is intentionally placed and striking. yi’s wry prose is adorned with profound observations that reveal the insidious heart of voyeuristic desire and modern idolatry.

even in its absurdity, Y/N captures the obscure center of parasocial relationships — the search for meaning in a meaningless world, the yearning for a purpose, when it’s the yearning that gives us purpose. amidst the surreal, yi led me to disconcerting realizations of myself — sure, i may not worship at moon’s altar, but do i not peer over the shoulders of the social elite, in hopes that glimpses into their wealth and lifestyle will provoke meaning in my own? do i not subconsciously yearn for access to them and their lives? does this yearning sustain me?

Y/N is intense and intellectual, quirky and compulsive. i can honestly say i’ve never read any prose quite like this — and for that i commend yi, and eagerly await her next book!

5/5 a stunning and singular debut that sheds light on perverse desires for connection

OUT MARCH 21

THANK YOU to @astrahousebooks for the digital ARC on @netgalley

“For the first time, I doubted the singularity of my love and thereby its truth. I glimpsed a future where I felt nothing for Moon, as one did, with both relief and melancholy, on the cusp of a breakup. I nearly fainted from disorientation. My love, which I'd considered, not without pride, a destabilizing force, was turning out to be exactly that which stabilized me.”

If you know me you know I love talking about fan culture...ecosystems...microcosms. How an individual can become changed as a result of connecting with something and joining a community of likeminded individuals.

This novel is such a breath of fresh air! It doesn't see the fan experience as something that is always sunshine and rainbows. It also left me feeling uncertain and falling alongside the narrator into chaos.
It also doesn't take itself too seriously (I mean the first scene being the quintessential 'they're not like other girls but come along to the concert' made me actually laugh).

More of my thoughts on my friend and I's youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV_0zW7dMrzHkLxjpkPuECg?app=desktop

What a trip. From the cover alone, I was drawn into the book's premise; a surreal unravelling of one's obsession and the facets of oneself. This work brings to mind the work of Sayaka Murata, a little bit of Andrea Abreu and even Samanta Schweblin and Agustina Bazterrica.

This book is all at once a mirror image of surrealism and genuine and poignant depths of reality, muddled together into something fascinating, held together by the thread of its prose. In a meander of the parasocial relationship between the person and a celebrity and the quieter relationships between the average person, Y/N is a delight to the sense. It feels as if you are being gently pulled downstream into a haze; the protagonist's vision is a blurred line of life.

It was a unique endeavour that left me with many consolidating ideas, wonderings and voices in the back of my head, wondering how close is too close, how much we see in the versions of the universes we hold in our writings, our fan fiction.

What a fresh take on something prevalent. I Very much recommend it.

Surreal, a fever dream story, moving like a roller coaster

The title Y/N refers to fan fic and indicates where you insert Your own Name. In this incredibly unique story, we meet our unnamed narrator who has fallen in love with Moon - a member of a Korean boy band in which all of the members have planetary names. Our narrator cannot stop her obsession and partakes in all of the actions - buying all of the endorsed products, attending massive concerts, participating in live stream posts... Soon she has forgotten her real friends, her boyfriend and her life is nothing but Moon.

When Moon retires from the band, our narrator begins to write fanfic. Now you (us) will join in the story, the dream, the obsession. If you have ever loved an actor, a musician, and author or even a fictional character, this is a story for you!
#astra #Y/N #EstherYi

I'm still not quite sure what I just read, but enjoyed it nonetheless! It's perfectly surreal, the narrative split between IRL and the fanfiction the narrator is writing. The prose here is voice-y and delightful. This was such an unexpected treat.

Thanks to the publisher for the e-galley!

In Y/N by Esther Yi, the main character is tired of experiencing reality as that which happens strictly to her and makes a K-Pop idol the new center of her world.

Everyone needs something or someone to fantasize about, right? The opening chapter is very relatable to anyone who has ever attended a K-Pop concert and felt the energy of an obsessed and idolized crowd around them. I feel like I’m going to indulge in a guilty pleasure read by reading this book.

Fangirling

The obsession is described in a believable way and the book pulled me right in. Y/N is full of sensual musings, but the nature of the wanting is more layered than it first appears. It doesn’t take long for daydreams and fan fiction to mingle with reality, giving rise to a serious case of vicarious shame.

There are plenty of scenes that made me laugh, although many of them are not that funny at heart. In one such scene, Mercury is a vessel for the fans’ comments and expresses them in front of Moon. The desire for romantic love is juxtaposed with worship and getting to know a person platonically.

Kafka in Seoul

There is a quote that really resonated with me because it expresses several desires at once: “I’m tired of experiencing reality as that which happens strictly to me.” I would almost say this is a reason, an excuse, a summary and an expression of social responsibility all at the same time.

What also appeals to me are the conversations about going all-in to achieve your dreams, regardless of the nature of the dream in question. The main character is guided to persevere no matter what. On her journey, she meets a group of eccentric people, all with their own passions. Their encounters (called Kafkaesque in the blurb) broaden the scope of the novel and draw attention to things happening in society.

The idol carries your name

The concepts of unknown and unremarkable are juxtaposed against special and famous, and yet, at the headquarters of the boyband there is only a thin line between both. What’s left to give an impulse to the creative process when you empty someone out and the world uses that person until he or she is used up?

Who says this is still about the idol? It’s about you, so insert Y(our)/N(ame) where applicable and start reading.

Final thoughts

What a wonderful journey Esther Yi took me on. Reading this book feels like following a fantasy that most people would hide deep within themselves rather than pursue. You’re living a life of fiction: you are the main character in your own story. There is so much more to this book than the obsession with an idol from a K-Pop boyband. This is one of the more unique books to look out for in 2023!

This debut feels like a fever dream. What if you suddenly got obsessed with a kpop star and then had the opportunity to meet them? This book focuses on a fan who writes fanfiction and believes she understands the idol, Moon, perfectly. She then travels to Korea to find him and a lot of weird things happen. With her obsession and voyeurism, the mc has a lot of beautiful lines. "His voice was a pink ribbon whipping in the wind..."

There is a lot of philosophy about existence and art too.

"The spiritual vacuity of our consumption and conversation, the daily torture of justifying our ethical fraudulence... how could one not think that the solution was to retreat behind the walls of the self?"

Does meeting your idols destroy them and/or your obsession?

A super bizarre but interesting read that I got thru in a day. Another exciting book coming out this year!

What an absolute delight of a novel.

Y/N by Esther Yi is a self-aware, gripping, surreal, Kafka-esque exploration of parasocial relationships in our digital age and the concept of art for art's sake. Yi's command of language lends itself well to the subtle critique of the search for meaning in art and entertainment -- in this case, the narrator's pretentious urge to intellectualize K-pop music and dance. The prose, at times, flows with ease before sending readers into disjointed passages that seem purposefully jarring, as if they are meant to make the reader question what falls under the scope of reality and what is imagined. And the inclusion of Y/N fanfiction throughout the narrative expertly immerses readers in the discomfort of it all.

I will be thinking about the uniqueness of this one for days to come.

a dizzying philosophical account of fandom culture and celebrity obsession. it took me a while to warm up to esther yi’s writing style (one of my first notes on the text includes a screenshot with the caption “STILTED DIALOGUE!!”) but once i did, man was i taken in. there’s a stunning philosophical quality to yi’s writing that is at once accommodating of various perspectives and nonjudgmental. the text reads like a fever dream at times (think paradise rot), a journal entry at others, and often it drifts into a woolf-like stream of consciousness. initially this appears to be at odds with the contents - a korean-american’s journey to find and meet a k-pop idol - but it fits.
i have also never read an experience of fandom quite like this one. it touches on all the issues of celebrity culture, from obsession and commodification to the sense of community and hope that are constructed by fans. the sense of pride that often slips into entitlement, of a specific form of knowledge of the celebrity that each fan assumes they have, of the differences in age, race, culture, ethnicity that the fandom encompasses - somehow, yi touched on them all without minimizing or slipping into the cult-related rhetoric that journalists often use for fans. 4.5/5

This is a book that I think I’m going to be thinking a lot about throughout the year. With the rise of K Pop and the continued dependency on social media, there is just more focus on para social relationships but we don’t tend to think much of it. This book shows an extreme side to that but it is plausible and has happened before. Having said that, there is also the underlying cause which the protagonist seems to avoid and that is her avoidance of loneliness. The parts where we read the protagonists story, the “Y/N” portion, the story for us as readers starts to feel blurred. Are we the protagonist, experiencing this delusion that we too can meet the star of our dreams? I will be rereading this book when it comes out. I can’t wait to read more of Esther Yi’s writing!

Thank you to Astra and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

When I read the blurb about K-pop, I knew I had to read this book right away! Y/N by Esther Yi is a contemporary fiction novel about an unnamed K-pop stan who journeys to Seoul to follow her favorite idol, Moon. The moon revolves around the earth, but the narrator's life seems to revolve around Moon. She writes Y/N fanfiction about Moon, which means that people reading it can insert their name [Your/Name} into the story to feel like they're a part of the story. Soon, she decides to turn her fantasy into reality and meet Moon in real life.

Here is an entrancing excerpt from Chapter 1, which introduces us to the narrator's favorite boy group:

"The Pack of Boys had released their first album in Seoul two years ago, and now they were selling out corporate arenas and Olympic stadiums all over the world. I was familiar with the staggering dimensions of their property, how the premier of their latest music video had triggered a power outage across an entire Pacific Island. I knew the boys were performers of supernatural charisma whose concerts could leave a fan permanently destabilized, unable to return to the spiritual attenuation of her daily life."

Overall, Y/A is a contemporary fiction novel that will appeal to fans of Kelly Link;s The Girl Detective or Rin Usami's Idol Burning. One highlight of this book is how the entire book was dreamlike. I felt like I was experiencing a dream while reading it. Another highlight of this book is how philosophical and experimental it is. The author is bold in trying to elevate K-pop to literary fiction. I did take off 1 star because I thought I was a fan of K-pop, but some parts of this book are hard to understand. What is a dream / the narrator's imagination, and what is real? If you're intrigued by the excerpt above, or if you're a fan of K-pop in general, I recommend that you check out this book when it comes out in March!

In short, I think this is a good book. It's very well-written, it's interesting, and Yi strikes a great balance between having overly flowery prose, and using plain, bland language. For a novel that explores the world of fanfiction, I think I expected it to be a little more fun, but that's on me.
Overall, Y/N is surreal, thought-provoking, heady, and just one-of-a-kind.

Y/N is a book that dares to surprise. Initially swept in the premise of how to navigate a fandom, from there Y/N morphs into a book of endless potential, whether good or bad, about how to approach knowing someone. Never boring, always curious, Y/N is a book that boasts careful--and daringly--a considerate obsession of sorts.

Trust. Obsession. Trust in obsession.

Love. Dellusion. Love in dellusion.

In philosophical femcel fanfic critique, Yi rolls snowball as fallacy and does not stop through Germanic sentences crafted from strange stiffness. The fuel is in all the crafty ways in which oddball speech and characters collectively create this aura that is absorbing and just as obsessive as the protagonist.

There are no limits. There is only the magnitude to which we take on a life worth living through the deep dive pursuits after a K-Pop idol. What is worship? What is faith? Devotion? Self-sacrifice? What is idealogy?

Ruthless, sharply ironic, fantastical, and downright unhinged, this is an oddball debut that takes the cake.

Reading this book felt like being plunged into a strange dream. Y/N only ever has one foot in reality, and only just long enough to reel you in. We follow the all-consuming obsession of an unnamed narrator with Moon, a K-pop idol, after being dragged to a concert. Watching him on stage, she experiences something akin to spiritual enlightenment. Soon, she finds herself fantasizing about him, writing self-insert fanfiction, and attending fan meet-ups. Then tragedy strikes: Moon leaves the band, and the narrator embarks on a quest to Seoul. From here, the narrative starts to dissolve as the lines between reality and fantasy, the body and the mind become malleable.

Y/N luxuriates in its experimental writing; it is unabashedly pretentious. And to anyone with a cursory knowledge of fandom--and particularly fanfiction, one of its primary forms of expression--it feels incongruous. Fandom is still mostly treated as a frivolous oddity, but this book engages with the psychological experience of being in fandom on a deep and sincere level. The result is electric. I spent weeks thinking about Yi's obsessive protagonist, about the value we place on different forms of writing and art, and of course, about the enigmatic Moon's neck.

Thank you to NetGalley for the digital ARC.

Utterly absurd and fantastic. A perceptive novel in the vein of modernist stream of consciousness. It is this attempt to understand the nature of obsession and the power of the mind to bend reality. Esther Yi works literary magic here but simultaneously critiquing celebrity obsession, super fandom, while making room for compassion especially for readers who may not engage with super fandom (ala - BTS, Justin Bieber, Brittany Spears, etc).

a very unique look at fanatical obsession, becoming increasingly surreal and delightfully bonkers as we see our narrator become infatuated with a kpop boyband member and starts meeting other stans. this was such a trip, and a lot packed into this short, one-sitting story. Yi is a writer to watch.

The writing style and storyline were magnificent. Will definitely be recommending to a friend. Thank you netgalley!

This felt very reminiscent of Untold Night and Day to me, but definitely still super unique. Dreamlike writing and interesting premise. I really enjoyed this one, though it’s genuinely so hard to articulate any thoughts about it. I had no idea this was going to be so surreal and absurd and was expecting a more straightforward story based on the summary, but this slayed so hard — I honestly love a book where I sort of don’t know what on earth is going on. Absolutely crazy for a debut. 100% a book for the hot girls
4.5/5 stars

I knew I had to get my hands on Y/N as soon as I read its perfect first chapter in the Paris Review a few months ago. This is a really excellent debut novel. The prose is clever and poetic without being cumbersome to read. The narrator is so wonderfully strange.

Y/N is a novel driven by singular obsession. The unnamed narrator, a Korean American woman who lives in Berlin, lets her roommate take her to a K-pop concert, and she immediately becomes obsessed with Moon, the youngest member of the group. "I was being sent to the other side... My First Time, experienced at the age of twenty-nine, made me wonder about all the other first times to be had. The world suddenly proliferated with secret avenues of devotion." Loving Moon becomes a quasi-religious experience for the narrator, and she realizes she is willing to "trad[e] in a real-life adult lover for a boy star who doesn't know she exists."

I've been telling everyone who will listen about this book. There is no way to describe it and do it justice. I will say that the first chapter is by far the best, and things slow down a little bit in the middle, but overall this is an excellent read, certainly the best debut novel I've read in a very long time. I love Esther Yi's fake K-pop lyrics. This will appeal to fans of Nabokov and Calvino.

What a fun and quirky read.. I don't think I have ever read a book like this before. It was deep while also being entertaining.

Not sure I get what this book was trying to do but I really liked reading it. Uniquely written, it offers a layered, immersive account of the experience of being a fan, of its highs and lows and of how complicated yet meaningful of a thing it can be. Even if I tried there's nothing I can say to accurately describe what it was like to read this book or convince anyone to do the same. You’ll just have to pick it up and see for yourself.

The premise of Esther Yi’s debut novel Y/N—a woman who plunges deep into parasocial devotion to a K-pop idol—is “blissfully stupid,” she professes. “Blissful” seems fair enough. After all, given the state of the world, who doesn’t need a little escapist fantasy? But I can’t help but wonder, for Yi, where exactly the “stupid[ity]” she speaks of resides. Is it in the unattainability of love with a celebrity? Its lack of functional purpose? The ridiculousness of a consumer culture where such impossible romance is not only marketed, but in high demand?

Or, when Yi says “stupid” does she simply mean the beautiful, quiet blankness that might spread across one’s brain when faced with the image of a flawless boy? Because, on first read, Y/N is anything but.

Yi inhabits the voice of her protagonist—a writer with a mind-numbing copywriting job—with effortlessly crisp lucidity. Surrounded by intellectuals who busy themselves with mincing metaphysical questions about where their cells might die, have higher humanities degrees and treat art and politics as hobbies, she is existentially troubled, out-of-sync. She has a boyfriend, Masterson, who’s as gently condescending as he is caring. But even the simplest sentiments from him such as “I want to feel at home with [you]” and “how are you?” evoke within the narrator a kind of dissociated resistance—“personally, whenever I asked “how are you,” I actually meant, “I am not you… I did not like to be related to.” On the contrary, the narrator’s obsession with Moon, her K-pop idol of choice, seems, if not satisfactory, more generative. “He feeds my imagination more than you do,” she tells Masterson, to which he answers, “Of course he does… because he exists in your imagination.”


BUY IT NOW





Upon the announcement that Moon is retiring and leaving his group, the narrator embarks upon a journey to Seoul to find him and ask questions that seem as impossible to answer as they are troubling to her to pose. Interspersed with scenes from the self-insert fanfiction she writes, that uses the moniker “Y/N” or “your name” to allow a fan to imagine inserting themselves into stories of romantic encounters with the idol of their choice, Yi’s book becomes a heady calibration between the surreal and banal that recalls Eugene Lim’s Dear Cyborgs—lacing together a cast of seeking, sublimating characters as they move through archetypal spaces, notice their strangely spectral bodies, are pulled along vortices of desire.

Y/N is frighteningly, coolly adept at vivisecting experiences of fandom obsession without suggesting it is above them. Fannish relationships to idols are not monolithic, ranging from fans who actually want to date the objects of their affection, to those who prefer to keep them at a distance like uncanny, virtual creatures. These perspectives tend to be revealing about each person’s traits and idiosyncrasies; that the narrator takes an esoteric position seems significant. She projects her existential angst onto Moon with desperate piety, yes, but wants, above all, to prove that she’s unique, not at all like the other fans. Analogous, perhaps, to the haughty ambivalence she feels towards scripted social performances of connection and being-human. A thorough knowledge of fan subculture allows Yi to wield humor, and a kind of self-deprecating cruelty in her unsparing excavation of it. Watching Moon’s v-log and wondering if she should open or close her mouth, the narrator notes that “even the possibility of looking dumb in front of him was a privilege beyond my reach.” Moon’s fans are called “Livers” because [They keep the band] alive, like critical organs.” But Y/N isn’t solely a tongue-in-cheek parody or criticism of fandom either.

What I’m stuck on is this: “blissfully stupid” is perhaps the most common negative accusation cast against K-pop fandom and its blinding fantasy, but it is also for the most part true. It bears mentioning that I am, at the very moment of writing this review, listening to Volcano, by Han Jisung of K-pop band Stray Kids, set on an infinite Youtube loop. Since my job involves a fair amount of cultural criticism, it would be easy for me to make an argument for the aesthetic value of this song despite its pop-music context; a narcotic, dreamy melody cut with harsher rap-anthem swells, its lyrics leaning into the melancholia of subterranean queer guilt. But that’s not all I’m here for. The truth is that Han Jisung has the face of a woodland creature, the off-kilter swag of someone who’s overcompensating and a very pretty mouth. My enjoyment of this song is absolutely not cerebral, it’s mostly shallow and horny. And the real provocation of Yi’s novel is that it doesn’t try to reject, reclaim or put extraneous value on fandom so much as treat its “blissful stupid[ity]” seriously, as a means towards new forms of philosophy and phenomenology; stranger modes of inquiring, believing and knowing.

Spoilers follow in review at link

I feel like this is a book that defies genre. I was expecting one thing going in and got something completely different by the end, but enjoyed it nonetheless! Extremely surreal and dreamlike, Yi's novel examines fandom, celebrity, purpose, and the sense of self we all long for. While I went in expecting something akin to Eileen or A Novel Obsession, I was pleasantly surprised at how quiet and strange this novel was. While this was a tiny bit disjointed at times, I definitely recommend this to anyone fascinated by K-pop, celebrity culture, and the lengths we go to find what we need.

Dream-like, poetic, and incredibly unique—this is the kind of book you find yourself thinking about long after you've turned the last page.

under the veneer of cultural critique, Y/N is a story about a woman who finds obsession and unrequited love more bearable than plain old loneliness. She’s looking for something greater to lose herself in, many in her place have chosen cults, men, alcohol, art, religion… but she decides to do a little bit of everything when she starts following Moon, member of a superstar global kpop band.

far from a condemnation of fandom, i see it as a condemnation of the doubly exploitative system behind mass market popstars, the impossible demands of appealing to everyone while keeping up the illusion of intimacy, the financially and emotionally drained fans who flock to them as a safe haven…

but if you’ve ever been a hardcore fan of anything you know this is kind of a recipe for disaster.

it’s about a woman who falls for a manufactured and impossible story and is forced to reckon with the humanity of its characters

i was a bit skeptical at first, at how the prose held the reader at arm’s length, it felt like the author was overcompensating the pedestrian and derided subject matter with inscrutable, convoluted prose. but as i dove deeper into it and acclimated to the particular voice of the narrator, it opened up like a flower in bloom, melting its cold core to reveal more and more of the fragile character at the center of it all

another anti heroine that captures something of the age we live in, almost identity less, history less, alienated, she finds language and connection difficult, but she”s also quite brave, radical she’s really deep down the delusional girl we’re urged to become on tiktok. but she commits to the delusion, not disimilar to my year of relaxation’s narrator.

it’s an incredible debut, gives lots to chew on. can’t wait to see what Yi will write after that

I received an eARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing House for a copy of this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Y/N is a genre bending novel on obsession and the dangers of para-social relationships. Our main character Y/N becomes obsessed with a member of a K-pop boy band, Moon, after seeing them in concert. This turns her life completely upside down.

So much so that with all prior connections severed, Y/N travels from Berlin to South Korea in search of Moon after his indefinite retirement. Y/N uses her deep and unnerving knowledge of Moon during this hunt as well as her supposed connection with him. This is somewhat sure to her self insert fanfiction of Moon she claims to not have written after herself.

Y/N’s journey is a great showing of how far the mind can go to conjure up fantasies and illusions of people we don’t even know to our own detriment.

Esther Yi’s writing solidifies all of these themes beautifully!

For this I give this whacky novel 4 out if 5 stars!

Writing in the first person, Esther Yi has delivered an unusual debut novel with an unnamed protagonist.

FIRST SENTENCE: "The pack of boys had released their first album in Seoul two years ago, and now they were selling out corporate arenas and Olympic stadiums all over the world."

THE STORY: She lives with her roommate in an ordinary life until she becomes fascinated by the boys lead singer Moon. He is everywhere and he is nowhere.

WHAT I THOUGHT: A difficult, literary book, beautifully written, but like trying to move through a confusing maze. I chose this book because of curiosity about why fans become so attached to boy groups. There were quotes on which to linger and consider. And I learned what Y/N means. It's not Yes/No. It is Your/Name.

BOTTOM LINE: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED IF this sounds interesting to you. It has gotten many positive critical reviews.

DISCLAIMER: I received a free e-copy of "Y/N" by Esther Yi from NetGalley/Astra Publishing House, Astra House for my honest review.

5/5 stars.
The novel has a very surreal, Kafkaesque vibe. The language is ostentatious and an experience to read in itself. The narrative is disjointed and fragmented and you never know quite what’s happening and then you suddenly find your bearing only to lose it again.
On the surface it’s a critique of stan culture and the strangeness of parasocial relationships which I really enjoyed because I’m obsessed with reading about the intersection of the digital age and human experience.
But then there’s also lots of veiled critiques of other social aspects, one of them being our consumption of art, which definitely applies to the literary field (not literature itself but the circus around it). It’s very Barthes-y (Barthes-esque?) which became so much more obvious to me when the similarities in titles clicked in my head (S/Z and Y/N duh). I kept thinking 'what is the author trying to say here, what is the meaning of this paragraph?!’ but that literally plays into one of the many questions that the book navigates: can we just enjoy art (literature) without running around like headless chickens trying to uncover the meaning of it? But there is no one absolute meaning, in fact it actively resists being defined because the pleasure is in the plurality of the text of which we, as readers, are active producers of.
Anyways it’s a really interesting (and extremely stressful) read but one that is strangely gratifying too.

This book is so strange. I'm not sure I know how to review it. Yi does an excellent job at taking a character and really diving into the messiness of their brain, to really look at them full stop. I loved that, and the way we deal with the narrator and her obsession. I felt myself jumping from feeling to feeling about her, and never knowing quite where to land. Overall, the look at obsession, the look at fandom, and the look at letting yourself be taken over by feelings was so raw and real, it was hard not to love this book.

That said, there were certain parts that took me out of the story. It felt like the author was often playing with real world v. a world of her own creation, and I couldn't find my footing here. I think that was often intentional, but in moments it felt like it was almost leaned on too much and it just lost me. Overall, I think people who love unique storytelling will adore this book, and I definitely enjoyed my time with it.

This book is smart, mysterious, and crystalline in its prose; I had so much fun reading this and being challenged by the narrative, and had a blast chatting with Esther Yi for my literary fiction podcast, Reading the Room, here: https://youtu.be/iX069GQpuzY

Incredibly humorous and intelligent writing. The book purposefully resists contextualization - despite highly recognizable specifics (kpop, expat living in Berlin and Seoul, fanfiction), don't expect this book to treat any of those specifics as they are commonly known; expect them to be launching points for spiritual inquiries into love, obsession, devotion, universality, particularity. The three-part structure of the book presents a somewhat disjointed literary experiment that mimics a progression across time & space & abstraction. Although that narrative arc and intense character motivation blazes in the first section, it spreads thin across the rest of the novel. Still, the frequent occurrence of brilliant turns of phrase is more than capable of propelling you to the end. A marvelous debut: ambition matched by virtuosity.

A very bizarre and unique story! I must admit I was a bit lost at times and wasn’t sure what was really happening or what was not but overall enjoyed it.

Ether Yi's Y/N deals with fan fiction, but more than that, this novel examines the ways in which we identify or seek to define ourselves by our interests. While I'm not really familiar with K-Pop, I do know that it is incredibly popular. I was a little concerned that my lack of familiarity might obscure my understanding, but when I think about how this novel examines celebrity and pop culture and how we often try to identify with celebrities and how obsessed or interested we become with them, I really appreciated Yi's story. Furthermore, her writing and descriptions were another highlight in this book.

This is a brilliant and fun read. It can often be difficult to bridge the gap between the literary world and internet culture in long-form, but Esther Yi does it beautifully here. It's a reflection on fan culture, individuality, and par asocial relationships.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 stars rounded up. Maybe a niche topic, but maybe not. I do think having been in the k-pop fandom scene in years gone by gave me a lot of context that someone without that experience might be confused by. I really like the way this author writes, though I could see how it might not be for everyone since it was very flowery but with a darkly philosophical tone. I couldn't put this down because somehow following along as the narrator and also her created Y/N character lose themselves entirely in their obsession for a celebrity was addicting. It was also a very quick read, and I'm not sure I have read anything like this before.

A wild trip, Y/N is a must-read for the fans, the stans, the obsessives and the daydreamers of boy bands, celebrities, and crushes. This book is not for everyone - it is often times so abstract it is hard to tell what is going on (we switch from a narrative story to surrealistic fan fiction in quick successions). But if you are interested in parasocial relationships and fanatical love for celebrities, this is a must-try.

It is certainly a bold debut. Yi has created a fascinating character in Moon, the Korean boy band member our unnamed narrator is obsessed with. She goes to a concert of his without so much as a passing interest, and leaves a changed person once she sees him on stage. I think this is a book where you're either going to love it or hate it. I think I loved it, but I didn't necessarily enjoy reading it. It's hard to get through, but I love the content and was blown away by the prose.

Y/N expands the fandom discourse into the world of K-pop, metafiction, and spirituality.

Before I started Y/N I read the title as Yes/No. I expected paradox, an exploration of consent, and juicy drama - which the story has - but it turns out Y/N means “your name”. The story follows a young woman who is proselytized, almost incidentally, by the prospect of true devotion. Enter the paradox: will she find herself or lose herself? And which is worse?

So begins her journey around the world. In a fugue, we go to Berlin with her as she attends a boy-band’s first show. She finds one boy in particular, Moon, captivating because he “bothers her the most”. He will be her object of affection, which is fitting as she describes his as an artful dancer, his body architectural, and his personality as a hypnotic trainwreck. Soon after, she pursues him with a one way ticket to Seoul.

The novel seems to explore the discourse of rationality when it comes to fandom. Of course, this narrator seems susceptible to fandom. She has little going for her in her real life and believes herself too special and refined for quotidian interaction. But also, she is hyper aware of her own willingness to dissociate and hallucinate. She romanticizes everything, prefers to be in her own head. Reality isn’t good enough for her.

As the novel progresses, the scope of it grows. Moon becomes an archetype, as does the process of finding him. In fact, Moon begins to mark time for her. If interaction with him are the only worthy reality, then all of life between is dedicated to their next interaction. She becomes blind to herself, incapable of growth and change while on a journey that is begging her to transform. The effect is unsettling and infuriating.

Pick up this novel if you want something lyrical, indelible and fresh.

Lovely prose. This is my main takeaway from reading this book. It is beautifully written though as someone who has been part of the kpop fandom for many years and eventually left it (mostly fell out with kpop), I thought it felt a bit extreme at times... or perhaps that was the point? I did like this overall though!